Fracture
Sirius couldn't believe what Lily was telling him; all the pieces of the puzzle fitted together perfectly, making him almost sick. He hurried out of the corridor where Lily had revealed the cruel truth. His footsteps echoed heavily through the corridors of Hogwarts, reflecting the storm of anger and betrayal rumbling inside him. He uttered the password and entered the common room. Greeted by the usual hubbub, he quickly turned to his friends, a furious expression on his face. No sooner had he crossed the threshold than Marlene, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, mockingly blurted out:
"We've whistled at you several times, Sirius, but you didn't come! Are you losing your touch or what?" His laughter froze as he saw Sirius' eyes sparkle with fury.
Without a word, Sirius seized a book within reach and hurled it violently in Remus's direction, who narrowly dodged.
"Is this what you wanted, Remus? To see me jump at your command like a good little puppy dog?!"
The others, shocked, fell silent. Remus stood up, raising his hands in a gesture of appeasement. He didn't need to think any further when he saw Lily's face behind Sirius. He knew.
"Sirius, I... I'm sorry, I thought..."
"You thought what?!" cut in Sirius, his voice rising in volume. "That it was funny? That it was just a game? "
"Sirius, I swear no one meant to hurt you. We all misjudged the situation." Lily said softly, trying to get her friend to lower her voice.
Lily didn't dare look at her friends; they all seemed very shocked by Sirius's reaction. The other students remained silent, observing the scene without a word. They all seemed to have understood that this was not Sirius's usual joke.
"Stop it, Lily!" Sirius shook his head dismissively. "I thought you were my friends, but friends don't do that."
James tried to intervene, approaching with his hands raised peacefully.
"Mate, let's calm down and discuss this." He said softly.
"Don't touch me, James!" Sirius pushed James's hand away violently. "I don't need anything from you." Sirius raged, his eyes flashing.
He turned to Remus, his gaze filled with palpable pain.
"It's over between us, Remus."
Remus blanched, the words seeming to strike him almost physically. He took a step forward, trying to make contact with Sirius, but Sirius immediately stepped back, warning him not to take another step with a wave of his hand.
"Sirius, please don't say that. I love you, I never meant to..."
"Save your excuses," Sirius interrupted him, each word laden with contempt. "You may have everyone here to laugh at your jokes, but you won't have me anymore."
The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by the crackling of the fire in the fireplace. Sirius cast one last disdainful glance at the whole group, his expression hardened by betrayal and anger.
"Fuck you all," he shouted before leaving the room, leaving behind a mixture of shock, regret and silence. Remus remained motionless, his eyes fixed on the opening leading to the dormitory through which Sirius had just exited.
James stood up abruptly, staring at the door through which Sirius had just disappeared with an expression combining concern and determination. He turned to Remus, whose eyes remained fixed on the floor, absorbed in the gravity of his mistakes.
"Remus, you need to go talk to him, now," James insisted, his voice betraying his urgency. "He has to understand that it was a mistake, that you didn't mean to hurt him."
Remus nodded slowly, aware that every passing second was widening the gulf between him and Sirius. He stood up, his legs shaking a little from shock and fear, and headed for the stairs. He found Sirius in their dormitory, still fuming with anger. Sirius stood looking out of the window, his tense body betraying the storm raging inside him.
"Sirius," Remus began softly, but Sirius turned abruptly, interrupting any attempt at gentleness.
"How could you, Remus?" Sirius's voice was a howl, every word loaded with reproach and anger. "All this time, all these little requests, these whistles.... I thought it was because you needed me, because you were counting on me!"
Sirius took a few steps toward Remus, his face contorted with anger. "I worried about your health, your safety, every goddamn day! And you turned it into a show? For what, Remus? To entertain the gallery?"
Remus held out his hands, desperate to calm Sirius.
"I'm so sorry, Sirius. I never meant to hurt you. I thought... I stupidly thought it was just an innocent game..." He tried to explain, his voice trembling slightly.
"A game?" Sirius laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "You call that a game? It's my dignity, Remus. My trust."
Remus tried to reply, but Sirius wouldn't let him. He was in a rage, he opened his suitcase and threw away the few things his friends had given him; clothes, a book, some sweets. Remus leaned on his cane, and tried again to make small talk. He raised his voice to make himself heard.
"I didn't think you'd take it like that. It was a joke!" Remus shouted to cover Sirius's. "Just a joke, could we talk calmly?"
"Do you realize what you're saying? This has been going on for months! Since last year you've been taking me for a fool! Do I look like I find this funny?" Sirius shouted, redder than ever.
Sirius was pacing up and down the dormitory, trying to get his anger out. He thought back to the smiling faces of his friends, their stifled laughter, he hadn't realized he was being laughed at. James was even in on it. He'd arranged this meeting with Lily for him, for his best friend, and this was how he was being thanked?
"I've never treated you so badly, I've never disrespected you, how can you even think that I-" Sirius began.
"I forgave you, Sirius, last time... for Snape." Remus said softly.
He didn't know where this was coming from, he knew deep down that this wasn't the time to add this to the table, that it was pathetic to try to calm his boyfriend's anger by reminding him of one of his past mistakes.
Sirius stopped his walk and turned slowly towards Remus, an almost crazed expression taking possession of his face. A bitter laugh broke out, echoing eerily against the stone walls.
"So this was your revenge? You were returning the favor for Snape?" Sirius smiled as he faced Remus, who could feel panic taking hold of him.
"No, Sirius, that's not what I meant, I..."
But Sirius was no longer listening. Rekindled anger burned through his veins, his eyes sparkling with a savage glare.
"You're a real jerk, Remus. You hope you feel better now, after ruining my life."
Remus tried to draw closer, words stumbling in his haste to explain.
"Sirius, please, I never wanted revenge, I..."
"You know what, Remus?" Sirius interrupted, rage vibrating in every syllable, "I never told Snape your secret. He already knew, long before. So, really, you're just a moron."
The term was brutal, scathing in the air between them like whiplash. His expression, clouded with confusion, was desperate to understand what Sirius had just revealed to him. What was he talking about?
"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, confused. His expression, befuddled by confusion, was desperately trying to understand what Sirius had just revealed to him.
"Surprise!" Sirius spat out the word with a cruel smile stretching his lips. "You didn't know, did you? Snape did come to see me. He told me everything, how he found out all by himself, without help. Where you were transforming, everything, everything, everything." He watched Remus's defeated expression with icy intensity. "I asked him not to interfere, not to bother you. I told him to mind his own business, but if he really wanted to risk his neck to see you, let him." Sirius raised his voice, his anger rising to a crescendo. "WHEN WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE'D BE TOO STUPID TO GO?" he shouted, hurling objects at Remus.
Remus dodged as best he could, Sirius's words hitting him harder than the objects flying around him. The room seemed to spin, each word a stab.
"Sirius, I... I didn't know," Remus stammered, his own heart tearing at the thought of the pain he'd unwittingly inflicted. "I thought that..."
"You thought what? That I'd betray one of my best friends?" Sirius interrupted violently. "Did you really think I'd gamble with your life?"
Pain, regret, and now the damning revelation of his mistakes weighed heavily on Remus. He suddenly realized how his actions had not only hurt Sirius, but had nearly destroyed their deep friendship.
"Sirius, I'm sorry... I didn't know about Snape, I swear."
"I lost my place on the Quidditch team, lost the trust of Dumbledore, McGonagall, everyone. Everything, for you."
The tension in the dormitory was palpable, every word, every gesture laden with an unbearable weight. Remus, his heart heavy, tried desperately to find a glimmer of reconciliation, but Sirius had become an impenetrable fortress, his pain transformed into a wall of ice.
"Listen to me, Remus," Sirius said, his voice trembling with restrained anger. "It's over between us. There'll be nothing more. You can keep all those 'friends' who can go to hell!" His words flashed like lightning, sharp and merciless. Everyone could hear the conversation from the common room, where silence still reigned.
Remus tried to intervene, but Sirius wouldn't let him. "You humiliated me, Remus. You laughed at me in front of everyone. And for what? For some stupid revenge?" Sirius sneered bitterly, each syllable a slap.
"I'm so sorry Sirius, please believe me, I was hurt and shocked when I woke up, I acted in the moment. I realize I should have let you express yourself and give your side of the story." Remus tried, his legs aching as he settled back on his cane.
"I should never have sacrificed myself for you," he continued, his voice still rising. "I went down on my knees, Remus, for something I didn't even do. And how did you repay all that? By betraying me, by making me look like a fool."
At these words, Remus couldn't contain his tears. They flowed freely now, each tear a testament to the regret he felt. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. What was he supposed to say?
Sirius, seeing Remus's tears, burst into a cruel, disdainful laugh.
"Oh, boo-hoo, really, Remus? Tears?" His voice was full of contempt, and he shook his head in disgust.
"You know what? I'm done. With you, with them, with all of it." Sirius gestured angrily toward the door, as if to exclude Remus from his life forever.
"Sirius, please, listen to me!" Remus begged, blocking the door with his body, preventing Sirius from being able to leave the room.
"I don't want to talk to you, listen to you or even see you! Let me go." Sirius replied curtly, not glancing at Remus.
"Please, just for a minute, Sirius-"
"I don't remember you being polite to me before." Sirius said before shifting Remus with a flick of his wand.
Remus's every word was a thud to Sirius's ears. Without giving his friend a glance, he left the room, determination evident in his every move. Not wishing to face the curious stares of his comrades in the common room, he hurried up the stairs to the highest room in the tower. This room, unoccupied, served as a storage room for bed linen, pillows and other items essential to the students' comfort.
Sirius was furious, more so than he'd ever been before. His friends' betrayal was burning him from the inside, leaving him with a deep sense of humiliation. How could he have been so blind? Of all the betrayals, some hurt him more than others. His lifelong friends, his prank mates, the Marauders, had let him down.
James, his brother at heart... They'd always shared their pranks, laughed together, never at each other. It was always good-natured, complicit, amusing. And Remus... The thought of Remus amplified his anger. In a desperate attempt to vent his rage, he threw a violent, unnecessary blow against the wall. The impact of his fist against the cold stone only fueled his frustration.
The room was plunged into a deafening silence, interrupted only by his jerky breathing. He dropped onto an old mattress, surrounded by haphazardly stacked pillows. With his face buried in his hands, he tried to control the storm of his emotions. The pain of betrayal was too vivid, too recent to subside. Anger, sadness and disappointment swirled inside him, a devastating mix of emotions.
---
James was very worried. He was pacing the common room, casting anxious glances toward the stairs. He was impatiently waiting for Remus to come back down with, he hoped with all his being, Sirius. This story should never have taken on such proportions. It had been a joke, admittedly in poor taste, but he had never intended to hurt Sirius. He wanted to apologize, to explain, to make him understand that he had never intended to hurt him.
"Why did you tell him? Before you say something, I feel bad too. I'm just wondering why you told him instead of coming to us..." began Marlene, her gaze wavering between Lily and the stairs.
"Don't try to put the blame on me, we all laughed at Sirius." defended Lily, frowning. She resumed before Marlene could add anything. "I tried to tell you to stop but nobody listened to me! I thought it was funny too, but he wasn't laughing..."
"I'm not saying it's your fault..." sighed Marlene, taking her head in her hands. "I'm just saying that instead of going to see him, you could have let us in on it."
"No need to argue, it's not going to change anything. I agree with Marlene, I would have preferred to have known, but that doesn't change the fact that we were all involved in this situation." interjected Peter. "Instead of looking for who's most guilty, we should be concentrating on how to make up for it."
"Shh!" said James as he heard voices coming from the dormitories.
Everyone heard the argument taking place upstairs. James stood still until he heard a door slam violently. At that sound, he rushed up the stairs to join Remus. Remus was sitting on his bed, looking more despondent than ever. When he met James' eyes, he shook his head and burst into tears. James sat down beside him and tried to comfort his friend.
"Where is he? I'll talk to him," James asked in a low voice. Remus shook his head, knowing in advance that he wouldn't be able to form a word.
Remus let James take his chances as he sat contemplating the disaster he had created. He'd spent most of his life moping around, fearing he'd end up alone, friendless and boyfriendless. But with Sirius, he'd found more than just a life companion. He'd found someone who loved him so much that he'd risked becoming an Animagus, helping him every month during the full moons, healing his wounds, imagining their future together... Sirius was so much more than he'd ever hoped for.
James could do nothing. He'd tried to apologize, but it was like talking to a wall. Sirius let nothing pass, shouting so loudly that by the end of the conversation, he couldn't speak. James managed to persuade him to return to the room for the night. He promised that no one would speak to him or seek to initiate contact with him.
"Please, don't sleep here tonight. Come to the dormitory, I promise no one will do anything. I'll talk to Peter and Remus, you'll be safe," James begged.
Sirius could feel his throat burning. He wanted to take a shower and curl up in his blankets. He had no option but to follow James, and that annoyed him. Exhausted, he agreed.
As soon as they entered the room, Sirius headed almost instantly for the bathroom. Remus watched him pass without a glance. Remus glanced expectantly at James, but the latter's discomfited expression answered his silent question.
"He barely listened to me, I had all the trouble in the world getting him to come here... He's furious." explained James softly, not wanting Sirius to overhear them.
Peter remained silent, sitting on his bed. The tension in the room was palpable. Remus dried his tears with a flick of his sleeve before speaking.
"He told me he was innocent... that he hadn't told Snape my secret. Apparently, he already knew everything," Remus explained in the same tone as James.
He recounted the whole discussion, making sure that the sound of the shower didn't stop. Peter was doubtful, thinking that Sirius was taking advantage of the situation to make people forget his mistake. James, on the other hand, was convinced he wasn't lying.
"To think I tried to stop pranking him..." snarled James, ignoring Peter who was rolling his eyes.
The conversation stopped as soon as Sirius opened the bathroom door. Without a word, he closed the curtains on his bed and settled in.
Remus stared at the closed curtains for a long moment, wondering whether he should join Sirius or try to be patient and try again tomorrow. He promised himself that, if Sirius forgave him, he'd never ask him for anything again.
---
Sirius didn't need anyone, especially not those false friends who had betrayed him. He'd been humiliated far more than he'd ever thought possible, even more than by his own family (though he might be exaggerating that last part). The insipid excuses he'd been offered since this morning didn't count anymore. Sirius was furious, and the night hadn't calmed the storm within him.
The tired, saddened faces of his former comrades exasperated him. Everyone acted as if this situation was not of their making. They were the ones who'd been laughing at him for weeks. Even Lily, who was half-forgiven, made him angry.
At breakfast, Sirius sat next to Thomas, a classmate who had had the instinct not to ask questions when Sirius had asked him to sit with him. Sirius tried not to pay attention to anyone but his neighbor, barely ignoring James's silent calls.
"We have Herbology this morning, we should go," Thomas suggested.
Sirius nodded, rising without a word. He felt the need to move, to do something to distract his mind from the rage bubbling up inside him. Crossing the Great Hall, he felt his friends' gazes fixed on him, but he deliberately ignored them, concentrating on the day ahead.
"We've got to talk to him. The longer we wait, the more consequences this will have. He has to understand that this isn't what we wanted!" said James, slightly hysterical, unable to stay in place.
"I saw him blow Marlene and Lily off this morning," added Peter, almost indifferent to the situation. He took one last bite of bread before standing up, giving the signal to join the greenhouse.
"Yes, but that's us. We'll probably have better luck," James insisted, giving Remus a gentle tap on the shoulder to cheer him up.
Remus had barely slept, tossing and turning in his bed, desperately seeking the comforting warmth of his boyfriend. Morning had finally arrived without a shadow of reconciliation in sight. Sirius had royally ignored him, sitting next to that boy, Thomas, and pretending not to know them.
The walk to the greenhouse was silent. James walked briskly, eager to settle in beside his usual partner, aka Sirius. Remus, however, was dragging his feet. Although he'd never minded waiting after him, today it irritated him.
Remus was doing his best, but no matter. By the time they reached the greenhouse, the seats had already been assigned. Sirius, usually the partner of one of the Marauders, had deliberately turned his back on them, settling in with Thomas.
On arriving at the greenhouse, Sirius had deliberately placed himself opposite where James, Remus and Peter sat. The class passed without incident, but his mind was elsewhere. He felt as if he were at war, an inner war against his emotions and an outer war against those who had hurt him.
James clenched his fists, trying to contain his frustration. He glanced at Remus, whose face betrayed extreme fatigue and deep sadness. Peter, for his part, remained silent, following the group without a word.
They took their seats at a nearby table, glancing frequently at Sirius. The latter was concentrated on his task, superbly ignoring his former friends. James couldn't help but feel guilty, but also desperate at the idea of mending broken ties.
"We're going to have to find a way to talk to him, seriously," James whispered to Remus and Peter, his voice laced with determination. "We can't let this go on."
Remus nodded, but his heart wasn't in it. He'd spent the night tormenting himself, trying to figure out how he could make things right with Sirius. During the lesson, James tried several times to get Sirius's attention, but each attempt was ignored. Sirius remained unperturbed, focused on his work with Thomas, as if he had erased his old friends from his life.
At the end of class, James rushed up to Sirius before he could slip away.
"Sirius, wait! Please, let us talk to you."
Sirius turned slowly, his face closed and his eyes glazed over.
"There's nothing to say, James. You've all made your choice, now I'll make mine."
James felt his heart clench, so he let Sirius put his things away. Having witnessed the scene, Thomas tried to make conversation.
"Would you like to have lunch with me?" he asked cautiously. Sirius sighed, feeling emotional fatigue creep over him.
"Yes, why not. Thanks, Thomas."
The next few hours passed in a kind of fog. Sirius tried to keep up with classes, to answer the teachers' questions, but every thought kept returning to his friends' betrayal. He felt torn between anger and sadness, an exhausting combination that left him drained.
At noon, he met Thomas again in the Great Hall. They sat down together, and for once Sirius enjoyed the quiet company of someone who didn't try to intrude on his thoughts. The meal passed in relative silence, interspersed with a few banalities exchanged with Thomas. It was soothing, in a way.
However, he couldn't ignore the insistent glances from James and Remus. He knew they wanted to talk, to explain, to apologize again. But he wasn't ready to listen. Not yet, anyway. Maybe not for a long time.
After lunch, Sirius headed for the library, seeking refuge in books and study. He needed to escape, to dive into something that would distract him from his tormented thoughts. But even there, he couldn't totally escape the memories of what he had lost, of those he had loved and who had disappointed him.
As he sat down at a secluded table, he sensed a familiar presence approaching. Looking up, he saw Remus, standing before him, looking determined but full of sadness.
"Sirius, please. Just a minute," Remus whispered, his eyes pleading.
Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, fighting the anger rising inside him.
"Pad, please, I love you, I'm so sorry. I'll never do this again, please give me a second chance." Remus begged
"Remus, you have to leave him alone."
Lily approached, a compassionate but resolute look on her face. Remus turned to her, a mixture of frustration and despair in his eyes.
"Lily, this is none of your business."
"Maybe not," she replied calmly, "but Sirius needs his space. You've got to respect that."
Reluctantly, Remus agreed and allowed himself to be guided to another table by Lily. He kept his eyes fixed on Sirius, hoping to meet his gaze. It didn't happen.
---
Two weeks passed and Sirius was still not breathing near them. He kept his distance constantly, no longer even bothering to answer them. The anger was gone, all that remained was disappointment. He didn't feel like shouting anymore, he just wanted to get back to a normal rhythm; and Thomas turned out to be very good company. He was like a free electron, moving from group to group. Thanks to this, Sirius happened to meet a friend of Thomas's who loved playing Quidditch but hadn't been able to pass the selection tests to play for her house.
Every week, Sophie organized several sessions with those who wanted to play together on the pitch. It was never the same day or the same time, as priority had to be given to the regular team.
Sirius immediately became part of the group; he still hadn't been allowed to play with his team since fifth grade, and he missed it a lot.
"Tonight at 6 o'clock, are you available?" Sophie asked between two corridors.
"Sure, see you on the field." Sirius agreed, excited at the idea of playing with them again.
The games were incredible, he was having lots of fun and getting to play all the roles. He didn't think he'd enjoy being a catcher so much, but it's really fun. He doesn't have to worry about the other players, just flying behind the golden snapper. He wasn't as good as James, that was obvious, but that didn't detract from the game.
The stands were virtually empty, with only a few friends coming to watch the game.
"Watch out Sirius!" Thomas shouted from the stands.
Sirius narrowly dodged an oncoming bruiser. Okay, maybe he needed to pay a little more attention to the other players. A thumbs-up in thanks and the game went on until late into the evening. No winner tonight, but it was with a big smile on their lips that everyone joined the great hall for dinner.
"You were almost there, Sirius! I'm sure with a little time, we'd have won!" Sophie enthused, putting her arm around Sirius' neck.
"Not at all, I would have caught it before he did." replied the Ravenclaw catcher from the next table.
"I'm talking to my team, not allowed to listen!" Retorted the young girl, amused.
"Remus, eat a little more, the full moon is in two days, you need to build up your strength." James placed two more sausages on the plate of his neighbor, who looked worse with each passing day.
"Where's he been? They've all got their brooms, do you think they're playing Quidditch?" Remus said, ignoring the two sausages on his plate. "They're not part of the team..."
"Some organize matches during the week, they're not part of the team but they have the right to reserve the training ground. They play several times a week." Peter explained without looking at his friends. "Sirius has been playing with them since the beginning of the week."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Remus said, frowning.
Peter didn't answer, just shrugged. Peter had been very distant lately, and even though James and Remus noticed, their attention was on Sirius.
"We'll go and see him. When's the next game?" James said determinedly.
"I don't know, look on the field schedule. You're Captain, aren't you?" Peter muttered.
James didn't answer; he insisted that Remus finish his plate. He hoped Sirius would be present for the full moon; Remus had been on edge lately and without Sirius' presence, he didn't want to see Remus' state after dark.
Classes had been much quieter since their argument. James and Remus spent most of the class lost in thought, while Lily tried her best to help Peter with his lessons. As the full moon approached, the three friends wondered if Sirius would come. Peter was sure he wouldn't, James hoped with all his heart and Remus put his soul into it.
"He's got to come, I can't do it without him, I don't want to do it, he's got to come, go and get him, please, please." Remus begged, already very weak just a few minutes into his transformation.
"Calm down, Remus, it'll be all right. We're here with Peter, we'll help you."
"SIRIUS!"
Nothing calmed Remus; he was in a state bordering on hysteria. He called out to Sirius, who had no way of hearing him from the Howling Hut. Remus seemed to be suffering far more than usual.
James tried to keep him calm, giving breathing advice, trying to get him to think about something else, but Remus was impossible.
He began to whistle several times in a certain melody. He repeated this several times, before breaking down in tears. He wasn't really himself at this point.
Suddenly, noises were heard in the tunnel, closer and closer, until a black dog appeared. He was out of breath, but continued on his way until he reached Remus on the ground. Remus looked up at the sensation of a wet nose on his cheek. His eyes widened as Sirius lay back against him, his arms wrapped feverishly around the big dog's body.
James let out a sigh of relief; Sirius had been unable to bring himself to abandon Remus at such a crucial moment. Despite their dispute, the presence of each of the Marauders was indispensable for the full moon.
Tears mingling with Sirius's fur, Remus murmured in a choked voice:
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, Sirius..."
Sirius didn't reply, staying by his side to comfort him in the last seconds before the transformation.
The night was restless, synonymous with Remus's feelings. Every howl was a reminder of the pain he'd felt in recent weeks. The hours passed, until the moon gave way to the calm of the morning; Remus was curled up in a corner of the room, breathing heavily, exhausted.
"Everything all right, Moony?" James asked, having reverted to his human form.
Remus didn't answer, just nodded. Peter began to tidy the room while Sirius remained in canine form, near the exit.
"We'll take you to Madame Pomfrey, she's probably already waiting for you." Said James as he gently lifted Remus to his feet. "Can you help me?"
The question was for Sirius, who hesitated and finally approached, sniffing Remus's body before letting out a groan. He took human form again, and set about helping. Despite his neutral face, James was very excited; he hadn't been this close to Sirius in a long time. He hoped this night together would repair what had been broken.
Peter led the way, allowing everyone to exit the tunnel without being attacked by the tree. Madame Pomfrey was waiting for them outside the castle gates with a stretcher to carry Remus. Remus let himself be carried away by the nurse, giving Sirius one last look.
"Do you want to go and have a shower?" James offered, trying to keep his distance. He didn't want to frighten Sirius.
As usual after the full moon, the Marauders were covered in dirt and mud. Sirius was always complaining about the state of this hair after ; today, it was silent. Without a word, he left for the dormitory to change before classes began.
"He could answer..." Peter grumbled, eyebrows furrowed.
"I don't think you're taking the situation seriously, Peter." James grumbled, perhaps too tired to cope with his friend's unpleasant behavior.
"I understand the situation very well, that doesn't stop Sirius being dramatic. What we did wasn't right, but was it necessary to react so violently?" Peter replied, supporting James's gaze.
"You know what Sirius goes through at home. He hates being told what to do! He's been taken advantage of."
"He takes good advantage of them too!" Peter retorted. "He's taking advantage of the situation to tell Remus that he's innocent, that he never told Snape his secret! Do you think that's normal?!"
"Sirius is my friend, and if he says he's innocent then I believe him!" James snapped. He never got angry under normal circumstances, but recent events and the night had him on edge.
"Sirius is NOT our friend! He's a traitor."
Peter was exhausted from all the fuss. The bickering in the group had grown too big for his liking. Remus and James might have forgiven Sirius for his betrayal, but Peter had not. He could see right through Sirius. Abused as a child by his parents, he hid behind this mask to commit misdeeds. Peter kept an eye on Sirius.
James pushed Peter against the wall, holding him by the collar ready to set him straight, when Professor McGonagall arrived on the scene.
"Potter! What's going on here?! Please let go of Mr. Pettigrew immediately!" she ordered as she approached.
James complied, his eyes flashing. Unable to stay with him any longer, he turned on his heels and joined Sirius. Peter remained silent in the face of the Professor's questions, returning to the room last to shower before class.
Despite Sirius's presence during the full moons, the Marauders' relationship was deteriorating. James and Peter still hadn't made up after their row, and Sirius showed no sign of coming together.
Remus was doing his best to hold out; he tried to talk to Sirius, who gave little or no response. Sirius tolerated Remus studying at the same table as him, as long as they weren't side by side or face to face.
James followed Sirius everywhere, knowing his timetable by heart: Quidditch matches, library visits, meal times, etc. Remus accompanied him, while Sirius followed him. Remus accompanied him, while Peter preferred to stay with the girls.
"I'd like to go back in time..." James said before letting out a long sigh. "I miss him."
"Let's go and see him at his Quidditch match, it's at 6 o'clock tonight." Remus suggested. He remained silent for a moment before resuming, lowering his voice. "You still don't want to tell me why Peter isn't eating with us anymore?"
James sighed loudly, raising his arms to the sky before dropping his head between his arms on the table. Remus had tried to understand what had happened, but James refused to talk about it, clearly annoyed by the subject.
"He doesn't understand why we put so much effort into Sirius. He sees him as a traitor and thinks the situation is better this way..." muttered James. Remus immediately retorted:
"What's he talking about? Sirius has already explained that he's innocent. We're not going to revisit the past."
"Peter doesn't believe it, he thinks Sirius took advantage of the situation to remake his reputation. I told him that wasn't true, that despite his faults, Sirius would never do that."
"I don't understand him, why does everything have to be complicated?" Remus sighed, obviously very annoyed. "I don't understand why everything has to be so complicated," sighed Remus, visibly annoyed. "Of course I believe Sirius, I'm not even going to waste my time with this. I... I can't handle Peter. Not now."
James nodded, unable to find an excuse for Peter's behavior. They were a close-knit group; wasn't it essential to repair their mistakes and recreate their friendship? Since the break-up, they'd been miserable, and it was unthinkable to stay that way.
To James, Sirius was like a brother. Even though their paths had diverged, he was certain they would find each other again. Sirius had to give him and the others a second chance. They had acted cruelly for a few laughs; James had persuaded himself that Sirius would find it amusing and that it wouldn't hurt his feelings. But Sirius's reaction had been the complete opposite, and he'd been right not to let it happen. At home, Sirius suffered constant orders, without the right to respond, to be tired or in a bad mood. He knew these orders made him sick. Yet to Remus and the others, he had changed. They had all taken advantage of him.