suspect
Chapter One
Lily closed her eyes and hoped she could stay lost in the darkness forever.
Her skin felt cold to the touch, and her hands shook with pins and needles. There were voices all around her. Muffled. She could only hear them through the window of time it took for her heart to beat in her ears again.
“Albus—“ One said.
Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beatbeatbeatbeatbeatbe—
“Lily?” For a moment she didn’t even recognize it, the name. As if it was made of absolutely nothing, just syllables strung together. Then again: “Lily? Lily, honey,”
Beat. It slows, dulling in her ear like the remnants of a bell ringing. Beat.
A blurred figure in front of her eyes. For a brief, lovely moment she thought it was her mum. But it wasn’t. She thought: that's impossible. Mums dead, and so is—
“Lily! You need to breathe!”
Everything came into view at once, the chandelier on the ceiling, two figures in the corner. They’d draped a blanket around her, something gray and scratchy. Air came in waves, through her shaky lips into her throat. Everything felt like sandpaper on her lungs.
Strangely, she didn’t feel anything. Lily knew it was there, almost like she could see it: a dark shadowy figure in the back of her mind, held back by nothing but a slate of glass. She knew there was an entire tide of emotions waiting for her on the other side. So instead, she took a step back and let the glass be.
“Albus she’s in shock.” Madam Pomfrey.
“I’m fine.” She heard herself say, her voice empty and devoid of anything at all.
Lily was a liar.
“Miss. Evans, are you able to speak?”
Her hands were bright red.
“I’m fine.” She repeated, louder that time.
“Albus I really think—“ Was that McGonagall? Lily's vision wavered, her eyes unfocused, drawn to objects in the room with no particular significance.
“Miss. Evans can give her statement at a later date, but I’m afraid this matter can not wait.”
There was a moment of silence before a new figure stepped in front of her. In the back of her mind, she registered it to be Dumbledore. Lily always liked Dumbledore. He was kind, with a twinkle in his eye and almost larger-than-life. This mythical, mentor figure looking over all of them without actually being in their lives, not in any significant way.
He never felt real until then.
“Ah,” In a moment of clarity, she saw that twinkle in his eye as he looked to the door. “It appears our second guest has just arrived.”
Dumbledore continued after a moment.
“Regulus Black. Welcome.”
It had been an hour and a half since it happened. They were all told to go back to their dorms after questioning. Regulus sat in the bath, curled up in a ball with his chin to his knees for an hour straight. He felt a growing pit in his stomach. A cold ball of dread, deep seated fear.
The days would tick on, and he’d be forced to live a life seeing what he’d just seen. He’d wake up the next day, and that was the scariest part.
He walks into the room with pruned fingers and stiff legs, his head pounding.
She was the first thing he noticed.
It was almost cruel, a sight that made him want to avert his eyes.
Lily Evans always seemed larger than life. She was so bright, so loved by everyone. There wasn’t a single person close to Evans that he was sure wouldn’t tie themselves to train tracks for her. She’d walk around campus with her head held high, the perfect Prefect girl with her perfect boyfriend. It was like a soap opera, watching them fight. Highly theatrical, Lily pouring a milkshake over James’ head and James on his knees begging for forgiveness in the dining hall.
It was almost more entertaining for everybody that they fought so much, like a bad play. Because, like in a perfect love story, they always came back to each other. James would show up to one of Lily’s classes with a big teddy bear and profess his undying love for her once more.
They were entertaining, and that’s what made them so perfect.
Everybody loved Lily Evans and James Potter.
Everybody wanted to be Lily Evans and James Potter.
So once the shock had worn off from that morning, it felt wrong to see her like that. Because even when she fought with James, even if she was in tears, she had his energy– this power. No matter what Lily Evans was always Lily Evans, no matter how much Regulus and the other bitter people hated it.
She was still in that blue dress, silk, when he saw it clearly. Her hair hung in half-dry ringlets down her back, still partially wet from walking through the snowstorm. Evans’s entire body trembled, despite the blanket loosely draped around her.
She was still covered in blood.
They hadn’t even given her a chance to shower.
“Regulus Black,” Dumbledore started, clasping his hands together with a light smile on his face. “Welcome.”
Wearily, Regulus tipped his head, the anxiety curling in his bones. He’d gotten an owl that told him he was to go to the Headmaster’s office immediately, he hadn’t really considered why until he got there. His head was on other matters. “Headmaster.”
Evans stared right through him, her eyes glassy.
Dumbledore’s office was dark, even though they still had hours of daylight left, he’d lit several candles held in antique holders. Regulus imagined Dumbledore thought it would make them more comfortable.
“Have a seat, Mr. Black.” Regulus complied, slowly, and sat on the armchair next to Evans. Mcgonagall and Pomfrey were there too, off to the side with somber expressions. Dumbledore held out a wrapped, yellow candy to him. “Lemon Drop?”
Regulus shook his head, willing his body to stop trembling. His back was completely straight.
The Headmaster continued, hands intertwined on his desk. “Mr.Black, I’d like to start by informing you that you will be appointed head boy, next to Miss. Evans. Effective immediately. I expect you to be moved out of your dorm and into your new one by next week.”
Regulus blinked. Dumbledore didn’t let him get a word in before speaking again.
“I spoke to the police earlier, and they’ve agreed to let the school handle the investigation. To the rest of the school, this will be ruled as an accident.”
“What?” He cut Dumbledore off.
“An accident. It is not our intention to raise panic by saying there was a murder on campus.”
Bollocks. Regulus thought. The only reason Dumbledore didn’t want anybody knowing it was a murder was because he didn’t want the school to look bad. He didn’t give a shit about any of them. Regulus would’ve bet all his money that he didn’t care about James either.
“People saw him with stab wounds.” Regulus points out.
He was usually quiet, and rarely argued with authority, but something about seeing the dead body of someone he cared about sent him a little off the edge. Go figure.
“We intend to ask the remaining witnesses to refrain from speaking of that.”
Regulus wondered how much money they paid the cops to drop the investigation. He thought of Sirius, who would most definitely outright refuse to ignore it.
As he closed his eyes, he could see his brother's face when Evans dragged James in. He’d stood up, slowly, his mouth agape. Remus had tried to take his hand, to calm him down, but his brother wouldn’t have it.
Regulus would never forget the look in his eyes, like he’d lost a brother.
The more he thought about it the less it made sense. Evans dragged James all the way from the Head Boy and Head Girl dorms, through the courtyard in the snow, and into the dining hall by herself.
And Dumbledore? Why make Regulus head boy?
Unfortunately, his questions were answered rather quickly.
“As for you being Head Boy, quite frankly Mr. Black,”
Regulus’s breath stuttered, somehow his entire body could tell something was wrong.
Dumbledore continued. “We’d like to keep a close eye on the two of you.” He paused for a heavy moment. “Our main suspects.”
He would go onto explain that he wanted to keep a close eye on them and avoid suspicion. But it was to no avail. Regulus wasn’t listening.
He looked at Evans then, and for the first time he felt they truly saw one another. The fearful glisten of her eyes, the quiver of her lip.
Regulus Black and Lily Evans.
The main suspects for the murder of James Potter.