ever since

It was not supposed to rain today. If it was supposed to, Regulus would not have decided to walk. He nearly always has a driver, it’s just much easier than walking. And in a pinch, he’ll take a cab. He was just going out to a shop not far away, so walking seemed like an alright idea. He was wrong.

The thing is, he didn’t even walk in the correct direction. He turned right instead of turning left, not looking up at the numbered street signs. The numbers ends up getting lower, from 74th to 71st by the time he noticed. The market he was trying to go to is up on 78th. Just as he turned on his heel to walk the right way, the rain started. Not gently either, is came down all at once. 

So now he’s standing inside, biding his time, in some cafe that he did not plan on coming to. Cafe Aronne, he thinks the sign out front said. Though it was hard to read through the rain. Regulus has been living here for about six months now, and he doesn’t know any of the places around here. It’s never quite mattered the nearby shops to the house when he can be driven anywhere in the city. 

Force of habit perhaps. His parents, Walburga and Orion, were like this. Always had to have the best. The best houses, the best drivers, the best restaurants. They wanted the best children, though they were not the best parents, so that’s just tough luck. The best thing they did though, is leaving the New York brownstone to Regulus when they died. 

“Excuse me?” His thoughts are interrupted by the barista. “Are you ready to order?”

“Hm no, I’m fine. Thank you.” He shakes them off, and fights the urge to literally shake the rain out of his hair that is now a mess. 

Another voice, though this one with a more familiar accent approaches him. “Have you been here before? Do you know what’s good?”

“No I haven’t.” 

“Shame. Want to help me pick? I’m deciding between a cardamom pistachio latte or an americano.” The man with scruffy hair and glasses continues. 

“Those are wildly different options.” Regulus tuts. “But the cardamom pistachio sounds lovely.” 

He turns now to the same barista beginning a spew of words, not letting them get a word in. “Hi, alright? Two cardamom pistachio lattes please. That’ll be all.” 

“Did you- You really didn’t have to. I’m just staying out of the rain.” He argues, to no avail. 

“I’ll have the second one if you don’t want it. But if you do, I’d love the company.” His soft smile is enticing, though definitely a bad idea. 

He gives in. 

They take the drinks once they are ready and head to the back of the cafe where there are more seats. Everything about Regulus’ movements right now is reluctant and hesitant. He is not historically the best with people and has not been on anything this similar to a date since his last ex. He and Kingsley were together for a few months, it was never going to last though. Timing just wasn’t right and it wasn’t ever fair to him how little time Regulus ever had. 

Now they live in different countries in different time zones, and have been broken up for eight months. Ironically also the amount of time since his parents died. It was a big month for him. Things are much more settled now. His friends come to stay at least once a month, not always at the same time though. Someone is almost always here to keep him company, except for right now as it seems. 

“Are you listening?” He asks, embarrassingly Regulus was not, so he shakes his head. “I’m James. You are?”

“Regulus. I take it you’re from England?” 

“Out in the countryside, though I went to uni in London. Well technically I was just raised there, wasn’t born in England though. Moved here straight after uni with my best mate.” James rambles on with ease. 

“I’m new then I guess. A few months now. London before here as well.” That’s more than enough information to give a stranger about himself. 

They both sip from their mugs and Regulus is annoyed with the fact that he would prefer this drink to be iced, but since he wasn’t the one to order, he didn’t get a choice in the matter. It’s delicious all the same. But he will keep the annoyance plastered on his face just to make a point. 

Outside the rain continues on just as heavy as before. Part of him wants to call a driver to come get him, but even with that he’s three blocks from the house and would have to suffer the rain getting in and out. It’s not worth it. And if he’s honest, sitting here with James is getting easier by the minute. He has a smile that eases everything about the situation and the short laugh he let out could echo in his mind for hours. 

Since arriving to New York he hasn’t ventured out to make friends much. Or at all. That would be more accurate. His favourite of the staff from home, Kreacher, has joined him here. He left everyone else to continue taking care of the house in London. Both were left to him, but now that his parents are gone he would much rather be away from all of that. Put some distance, mental and physical, between him and all of it. 

“So what made you move here?”

He hesitates. “My family has a home here and I needed somewhere to live that wasn’t London.” It’s the truth, though a very watered down version. 

“Oh so you own? Fancy of you. I rent and it’s terribly expensive. Even with a flatmate.” James carries on. 

He talks for a while, barely taking the time to inhale a breath. It comes naturally to him. Much different than Regulus who is sitting here just staring and trying not to stare and failing miserably at that. He’s not the social one of his friends. Though he’s managing well enough right now. And something tells him that James would not the the type of make fun of him for staring. 

It’s not his fault that James is nice to look at. And his mouth moves so elegantly around each of his words. maybe it’s a bit embarrassing, so he goes back to sipping his drink. In the background James talks about anything and everything. Where he grew up in the countryside and where he lives now. Neither of which Regulus retains. He could have said any town in England and any neighborhood in New York and it all sounds the same to him at the moment. 

“I was supposed to be meeting a friend not far from here. Ended up here because of the rain and now I’m most definitely late.” He checks his phone, which lights up with the time and a slew of messages flooding the screen. 

Oh so he’s popular… definitely not the sort of person that he opts to spend time with usually. Regulus keeps his circle small and prefers it that way. Branching out when he dated King was a stretch, and he’s not the most social butterfly type either. They did fit together rather well, when things were good at least. Though when they were not, it was best to keep distance. An ocean will do. 

“I won’t keep you. Thank you for the coffee, though it would have been better over ice.” He gestures for James to go, as he seems to be in a rush. 

“I wasn’t saying I was going to leave, just need to let my friend know I won’t make it. At least not on time.” He does such, and clicks his phone off again. “I would not have pegged you as someone who enjoys iced coffee.” 

“Started to enjoy it when I moved here. For once it’s something that the Americans have got right.” He muses, earning him a laugh and a nod from James. 

That fills him with enough confidence to carry the conversation until the rain lets up. It takes a bit, and the sky will likely show that it’s coming back later. But the second he sees the sun peek through the clouds and into the cafe, he jumps up. Across from him James looks disappointed, and he hates it. Would really rather not see him look like that. 

“Do you have to go?”

“The rain cleared, thought I might get to the market and back home before it starts again.” Regulus shrugs. 

“Well do you think we could do this again? Iced coffee next time though.” 

Oh, he wasn’t expecting that. His heart beats a bit too harshly in his chest. They have nothing in common, and clearly he would prefer someone more outgoing than Regulus. Someone who can keep up with him and well to be honest, someone who isn’t a mess and just getting his bearings here. It’s been six months and he can’t even walk the correct direction two streets over from his house. He’s not ready for a relationship or even to go on dates. Bar any accidental ones like this. 

Even so, “Alright then. You can put your number in my phone and I’ll text you.” 

He takes it with ease and Regulus notices as he sends himself a text instead of just adding a contact. Probably smart, he would likely have not texted him first. Technically that’s what is happening anyway, but you know what he means. It would have kept him up at night figuring out how to form a message. 

In all honesty he would have agonized over it and asked one of his friends to figure out how to send the text. Making them, more specifically Pandora, craft a message for him. They would all make fun of him for at least a week over it until someone els were to do something worse to take the attention off of him. This is easier. Maybe it won’t even lead anywhere and he’s thinking about it for no reason. 

It’s just coffee while keeping dry from the rain. “See you soon Regulus.” James smirks handing the phone back. 

Regulus forces a smile and turns around before he can do anything else. The rain has truly let up and there are even patches of blue sky above when he exits the cafe. Carefully he looks at the street signs to either side and figures out which way to go. Left. He walks the now seven streets instead of four and ends up at Butterfield Market. 

It’s not very busy at the moment, which is to his benefit. He can grab the few things he needs and get home before there is anymore rain. Or before he ends up on another date with  stranger that insists o buying him a coffee. 

There’s a few prepared meals in the fridge that he wants to get for today and the next few days. And just because he can, there is a table with assorted cookies and pastries and he grabs a few that he knows will be good. There is also a frozen yogurt counter, or soft serve he’s not sure which it is, but he was never allowed when he was younger anyway. 

The house he now lives in, on east 74th, was where they stayed whenever they came to New York for a holiday. It wasn’t that frequent, but he still always loved it. It was a nice change of scenery, though he didn’t get to explore much of the city. Their parents would go off doing whatever it is they would do in New York leaving the kids with a nanny. With very strict rules. 

Including no ice cream. So whenever they would walk past here, they would be denied ice cream. He could get some now, though he doesn’t need it. Perhaps another time. He can do what he wants now. There is no Walburga stopping him from having ice cream when he wants it. Just as he’s about to leave the freezer catches his eye with even more ice cream in it. Pints with interesting flavors that he doesn’t stop to inspect them closely. He will have to be back to try those. 

Not today though. It’s been a long enough day as it is, he just wants to go home. He can curl up in the library with a book and some of the food he is getting right now. It’ll be perfect. Especially if the rain starts again, it’s a nice sight when the rain his the windows. He enjoys the overcast that comes with it too. 

He has a few days before anyone else will be here. In retrospect he maybe shouldn’t have given Kreacher off the same time that he has no guests, as he’s a bit bored. It’s always nice to talk to him even if he is being paid to be here. Anyway, he’s off doing whatever he pleases. He has a room here and lives here a majority of the time, though last night and today he’s been nowhere to be seen. 

The walk home is only a few minutes, what it should have been had he not gotten caught in the rain. He walks up the front steps of the brownstone and into the main entry. It’s not technically a brownstone, though that is what it is referred to as. It’s literally limestone, and he guesses also a townhouse. Or a row house. Whatever you want to call it is fine. It’s his home though, well it’s going to be his home. 

There are still so many touches from his parents here, as much as he tries to find changes to make it’s hard. He knows these floors and these walls and all of the furniture. It’s also just good furniture, it shouldn’t go to waste. He’s also only one person and doesn’t go in many of the rooms at all. It would be a waste to redecorate those. 

Like the primary bedroom. It was always Walburga and Orion’s. He is technically the primary owner of the house now, but he will never stay there. It’s a nice room, really. It has an en suite and a terrace. If he didn’t associate it with his parents, he would claim it as his own. Though whenever they are visiting, Barty and Evan have staked a claim on it. Simply because they find it funny that his parents would hate it. 

They would, by the way. They hated Regulus’ friends. They especially hated the brief period where it seemed like Regulus and Barty were dating. They weren’t, not in so many words at least. Fucking was a more accurate description. It was never a conversation he wanted to have with his parents so he avoided it. 

His mother would believe whatever she wanted, and ignore whatever she did not like. Regulus was a victim to this quite a few times. At least with him he could get away with things as long as he did everything else right. It didn’t matter that he likes men because he dated one girl which gave them hope that he would marry someone good. It didn’t matter that he had what they called a poor taste in friends because he did what was asked of him when it came to the family business. 

Which isn’t much of a business at all and he has left all of that with the staff back in London. Aside from this house, he doesn’t want any ties to who he used to be. It’s not that easy to create a real distance or to start completely fresh, not when you are Regulus Black. But he’s done the best he can. 

He has claimed the second biggest bedroom for himself and has built up the library with all of his favourite books and the ones that he hopes to read. He has a degree from back in London, and plans to find something to do with it. Not for the money, but to have something to do. Most days he doesn’t do much at all. His friends think it’s a waste. Being in New York with all the money in the world, and he spends time in his own home or his own back garden. 

That isn’t all he does. Sometimes he goes to museums or walks around the park, which is just one street over. This house is really in a great location. In proximity to those two things. He doesn’t much care what else is close by. When he wants to go to a restaurant he picks it out and then asks Kreacher to drive him. When he wants to do something anywhere, he does the same thing. 

To most people, a younger Regulus included, New York has endless things to offer. A million places to go and things to see. But now he’s older and wiser, and has lived here for six months. There really isn’t as much as everyone thinks. It’s all the same things as London has. Restaurants, shops, cafes. Landmarks, parks, too many people. 

It doesn’t have the charm that everyone claims it does and dreams that it has. It’s just a city. Though to Regulus that’s even better. He needed somewhere new, he needed somewhere different. A fresh, or fresh adjacent, start. That’s what New York is to him. One day he’ll find the charm, or he won’t. Either way it’s good for him right now. 

His phone buzzes a while later while he is curled up on, by far the comfiest, sofa in the entire house. It’s much later now, he didn’t notice since the sun got overtaken by rain again. Regulus got about halfway through the book he picked up and ate the prepared salad he got from Butterfield. It’s been a pleasant and quiet night. 

[James]: hey! it’s James

[Regulus]: I know

[James]: oh right. i wanted to see if you were around this weekend?

[Regulus]: I am, what do you have in mind?

He shocks himself with his own responses. Not expecting himself to agree to see him again so easily. Except behind his eyes while he’s typing he can still see his smile and the warmth of his skin radiating more than enough light on a rainy day. He’s fucked. But Pandora isn’t getting her until Tuesday, so he has a lot of free time. 

[James]: i think it should be a surprise. i’ll send you where to meet before

[Regulus]: You should know I don’t do very well with surprises.

[James]: get used to it, i quite like them. 

No one pushes him on things like this ever. His friends know better and his past partners wouldn’t dare try to surprise him. He likes to be in control. He likes to know what is coming and what he is going to do, that way he can be prepared. Today he wasn’t prepared and look how that’s ended up. He has a psycho texting him about more surprises. 

Then the phone rings. “Hello?” 

“Just thought it would be nice to talk since we both seem to be around to respond to texts.” James smiles, not that he can see it, but he can tell. 

“I was thinking about going to bed soon, but I can talk for a bit.” Regulus sighs, sinking further into the couch. 

He places the phone on speaker so that he can talk without holding it to his ear. Lets him sit as comfortably as he wishes. He has a feeling that James is going to talk for a while. Regulus would love to complain about it, but the thing is his voice is soothing and he rather likes listening to him talk. It starts with him explaining why he’s bored and calling a near stranger that he just met (Regulus is paraphrasing). 

His flatmate went out to stay over at their partner’s place tonight. James seems quite upset by this. “Why are you mad? Don’t you now get the entire place to yourself?

“I’m friends with both of them! I feel left out.” 

“They are dating, you are their friend. They should be allowed time without you, don’t you think?” Regulus rationalizes, though he’s quite used to this same dynamic, usually being the one left out. 

“They shouldn’t want time without me. I’m their best friend!” He huffs. 

“You could ask them to come back over to be with you if it’s that big of a deal. Are you not able to be alone?” As he asks, he realizes it’s pushing a bit more than he usually would. 

“It’s okay. I have a date to plan.” 

“Oh? And who is that with?” Regulus teases. 

“Erm- you?” The line goes dead for a second, he must have muted himself. “Did I muck that up? I was asking you on a date to be clear. Do you want to go on a date? Is that better?” 

He genuinely laughs. His phone likely picks it up enough, but he hardly cares. Regulus was just messing with him. It’s surprisingly easy to do as it seems. That could be fun. It’s something he’s good at, with his friends now at least. It’s never malicious but it’s fun. And James seems to be a tad nervous, for whatever reason. So it’s fun for him to tease him. It’s making his night quite enjoyable and he’s no longer even thinking about going off to bed. 

Which he doesn’t for quite a while. They talk for at least an hour. Not really about anything at all. Learning little tidbits about each other, but nothing of substance yet. Regulus doesn’t hand those kinds of details over that easily. 

Saturday comes around and they have talked for all three days in between. Well, mostly just texting here and there, but one other night they talked on the phone. James seemed to be left on his own again, which apparently he doesn’t do well with. He much prefers company, so Regulus was content sitting on the phone with him while they watched movies on their own. 

[James]: 6pm okay?

[Regulus]: Where???

He receives the cryptic text, with far too few details at ten in the morning. Regulus has already been up and drinking his coffee in the back garden by then. Now on a different book than earlier in the week. He finished that one. When he gets the text he’s really not expecting it. Not because he forgot about their plans. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about their plans. In fact he’s been agonizing over them and has called all of his friends to freak out about the fact that he’s going on a date. For the first time in eight months. That’s a long time. For the first time since Kingsley. 

It’s a big deal, okay? Some friends were more supportive and helpful than others. Specifically Barty spent the call teasing him over it, while Dorcas gave him sound advice. Typical. No, the thing that surprises him when he gets the text is how early it comes. 

Ten in the morning is not at all early. He knows this and he is frequently up before ten. Though James seems to not be on the same page about that. The other days that they have texted, the earliest he hears from him is afternoon. Most often evening. It’s likely when he’s on his own and has the time to actually talk to Regulus. Which is fair, he has a whole life. He’s been living here for a few years, that makes sense. 

[James]: ugh you’re no fun i prefer surprises 

[Regulus]: How would I get there if I didn’t know where I was going?

[James]: fair point. 

[James]: i’ll text you where later. 

[James]: keep you in suspense a bit longer. 

[Regulus]: You’re trying to kill me. Is that it?

That’s all he gets for hours. It’s infuriating. Yet also endearing and Regulus can’t find it in himself to be properly upset about it. Somehow he’s actually looking forward to this. It will be nice to do something and James is as good of company as anyone. And if it goes horribly, then Pandora will be here in a few days and he can forget all about this. He never has to see James again if it doesn’t go well. 

Standing in the dressing room connected to his bedroom, he lets out a groan. Loud enough that Kreacher knocks on the door to make sure he’s alright. No, he’s not particularly. He has to find a suitable outfit for a date that he doesn’t have any of the details on. Is this formal? No it probably won’t be. But he can’t dress too casual. On second thought, that likely won’t be an issue considering the company is James. 

Finally he settles on black trousers and a casual but not too casual short sleeve button down. Good enough for any occasion. For the remaining time he has until he will need to leave, he assumes, he messes with his hair. The soft curls are actually sitting right for once but he can't stop fidgeting with them. Making sure they look good. Oh, he’s really screwed himself if he’s this fussed over a first date. Or is it a second date?

[James]: clandestino

[James]: in chinatown

[James]: see you soon!

[Regulus]: 6pm?

[James]: yep!

“Kreacher, are you able to drive me downtown?” He calls, exiting his room. 

They are going a bit further than he had assumed, so they leave right around 5:20pm. it will get them there a little early if there is no traffic or right on time if there is. Well, that’s best case scenario. He sits in the back as he usually does and scrolls through his phone mindlessly. Mostly he looks at old pictures of him and his friends. He misses being so close, distance wise, with all of them. But being here is good. It’s better. 

Absently he thinks about how he hasn’t even tried to look James up online. He could be a murderer for all he knows. Chances of that are low, but never zero. He thinks about it for a moment, but then the car is stopping. He looks out the window and sees the bar they are meeting at. It looks a bit rundown, but not in a bad way. A well loved place, he hopes. 

“Thank you.” He says getting out of the car. 

“Call or text if you need a ride back. I’ll be around.” Kreacher nods and takes off. 

It’s exactly the time they are supposed to meet and he doesn’t see James anywhere. Maybe he bailed. Maybe he’s not coming. That would be okay. Right? It’s just a second date, he’s not that attached. Though the relief that floods him when he spots James at a table toward the back of the bar says otherwise. 

“There you are! I got a bottle for us to split. I hope white is okay.” James’ smile is bright and calms all but Regulus’ heartbeat. 

“White is good. How was your day, do anything else?” 

“Not much, walked around for a bit with my flatmate. He and his boyfriend are actually having dinner somewhere around here we all came over together.” 

He sips at the wine in front of him, and it’s not the best but it could absolutely be worse. Seems James didn’t splurge for the nicest but at least he didn’t just get the house wine. That would be… not good for the future of this date. He’s not a huge snob, but he’s grown up around good wine. It’s hard to go to cheap wine from that. Blame his parents for that, among other things. 

They talk about the usual things, like what they do for work, James is a writer and Regulus evidently does nothing, or their favourite seasons, spring. It’s easy. Much easier than he thought, though they have been talking for a few days now. This isn’t a complete stranger. Part of him wonders how he lucked out that the person he happens to meet isn’t a serial killer. It would be just his luck for that to happen. No one would be surprised. 

“It’s hard to tell in this light,” 

“Or lack thereof?”

“Yes, or lack of light. What color are your eyes?” James laughs, mouth settling in a smiling, staring at him. 

“Grey.” He admits. 

“So pretty. I have been trying to hold back all night. But God you’re pretty. Did you know that?” One of his hands falls open on the table between them, an invitation. 

“I think you’re a bit drunk.” 

The bottle is empty now, and neither of them remember drinking all of it. Their eyes meet across the table, and James bursts into a fit of giggles. It’s so very sweet and he doesn’t like nor know how he already can feel whatever this is in his chest. He’s supposed to protect his heart better than this. It’s not supposed to be this easy for someone to get through. Is it too late?

“Mmmm perhaps. So are you. Do you know what’s really good when you’re drunk?” 

“Do tell.” Regulus gives in, letting their hands settle in each other’s. 

“Pizza. And I know a really good place around the corner.” 

“Lead the way.” He uncharacteristically follows at a faster pace than he was prepared for. 

They practically run the whole way there. Hands linked, James just a bit in front. He doesn’t once check where he’s going, but they do in fact end up in front of a pizza place, Scarr’s. He’s never heard of it, but he’s never in this area. The smell of the pizza is enough to tell him it’s worth it. Practically making his mouth water. 

All of the slices look good. That’s one thing about New York, they do know their pizza. James takes charge once again, and surprisingly he doesn’t mind one bit. He gets them a few slices to share and brings them to a table once they are heated. With them in front of him they smell even better. Regulus is ready to stuff his face with them, but before he does he hears the camera of James’ phone snap a picture. 

“What was that?”

“Want to remember our first date.”

His brows furrow. “You missed that one. This is our second.” 

“Well then our second date.” 

He leaves it at that. Maybe another six months down the road he’ll be grateful for that horrendous picture of him drooling over pizza. But right now it hardly matters. He gets the pizza in his mouth as gracefully as he can without embarrassing himself in front of James. He wants him to still like him after this. Though by the way he is shoving his own face full, he’s probably safe. 

“So was this good enough to do again?” James nervously rubs his hands together as they walk out. 

“This exact date? Hmmm I’m not sure. But another date? Yeah I think we can make that happen.” Regulus teases. 

“How are you getting home?”

“A car. I have someone on the way.” As they were getting up he texted Kreacher, who is only a few minutes away. Truly the best. 

“A car? Really? I’ll be walking or taking the subway. Or finding my flatmate and meeting him wherever they ended up.” 

“We live very different lives James.” 

“I’d like to see yours, be part of it. If you’ll let me. Show me things I don’t know, I’ll do the same with you.” 

“Is that a promise?” 

And it is. They decide in the time it takes for the car to come that Regulus will plan the next date. There isn’t a plan yet, and he really has no idea what it will be yet. But James seems to be up for anything. It’s just a matter of figuring it out. He’ll show him something new, and the reverse has already been happening. 

James may just be exactly what he’s been looking for in New York.