LUMINESCENCE

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  Since it’s the last day of camp, and they’ve all behaved correctly, — as far as they know — the teachers decided to give them a free day as a treat, as Hagrid said himself. Bless them for that, honestly, because Sirius would rather be locked in his cabin all day than doing any activity that included being with anyone else other than his friends.

  So, it’s eleven o’clock in the morning, and the students are all across camp. Some by the bonfire, others in their cabins, some by the lake, and there are people wandering around the woods as well, hiking.

  Emmeline had come up with the idea of playing tag, which is fine, if Sirius wasn’t sweating so much in the first forty seconds of it.

  Kingsley is fast, and it doesn’t last long before he tags Marlene, and everyone is running away from her, too. They scream and laugh. Sirius does it particularly because Remus is slower than he imagined — his shoes didn’t help, either, as they weren’t exactly comfortable for running.

  When Peter is tagged, Sirius is shouting as he races as fast as he can, hiding himself behind James, who strangles out of his hold to jog away.

  “Please, please, please,” Sirius begs in desperate giggles, Peter surrounding him.

  “Come on, Pads,” he crooks his head, opening his arms to block Sirius’ passage.

  With a high pitched scream, Sirius is running to the left, and Peter is right after him before he turns away into Lily’s direction.

  It goes on and on until Remus is tagged — which happened later than he expected.

  Then, Sirius finds himself being strictly targeted by Remus, who no matter how far Sirius was, would always run after him.

  “Stop!” Sirius laughs when Remus is after him as he runs around the bonfire. They stop on different sides, and when Sirius moves to the right, Remus does too, “Stop, Remus!”

  The boy laughs, open arms, “We can’t be here forever, Sirius.”

  “Leave me alone!” he runs to the left, and when Remus does the same, he turns around, attempting to escape.

  Surprisingly, it didn’t take more than seven seconds for Remus to be wrapping his arms around Sirius, lifting him off the ground. The boy chuckles, letting his head fall against his shoulder, kicking his feet.

  “Gotcha!”

  “You asshole!” his wraps are wrapping around his arms as he eventually gives up on wiggling in his arms. Remus’ grip is far too strong.

  Then, his feet return to the floor, and when he turns around, Remus is smiling down at him. It’s soft, caring — Sirius almost forgets to push his shoulders and starts running away.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  Kingsley’s gaze pierces through Remus’ body as the boy crouches in front of a bush, picking some bouvardias. He had mentioned in a brief conversation how bouvardias were his favourite flower. For that, Remus couldn’t simply find it and not pick it up.

  “What is even going on?” Kingsley asks, and Remus looks over his shoulder to find him folding his arms.

  “What?”

  “You have that shiny look on your face.”

  His tongue runs over his lips as he restrains a small, wrapping his fingers around the flowers and getting to his feet, “Can’t a man be happy anymore these days?”

  “Oh, spare me! When you got here, all you could talk about was Sirius. Oh, Sirius is so beautiful! Oh, Sirius is so mean! Oh, Sirius this, oh, Sirius that.” Remus rolls his eyes as he watches his friend dramatising his tone, “And now you’re all quiet, giggling and smiling… always around Sirius… I smell something there.”

  “You’re mental,” he mumbles, resuming their walk.

  “Who are those flowers for? Lily?”

  “No.”

  “Sirius?”

  Remus snaps his head in a frustrated groan, “I bet you’re less annoying with James’ cock filling your mouth.”

  “Oh, wow!” his jaw drops slightly, “You really are a mouthful.”

  His lips raise softly at the sound of Kingsley’s laugh, and then his eyes are dripping to the bouvardias in his hand, “Yeah,” he finally says, “Sirius said these were his favourite once.”

  “Aw, little Lupin is in love.”

  “Shut up!”

  “So are you two like… dating?”

  Remus looks up, pondering if he should say it or not. After all, he and Sirius did agree to keep things private for a while — still, it was fucking hard not to ramble about how perfect he is, and how happy Remus feels.

  “Uh– no,” he replies, because that is not a lie. They aren’t dating, “We are… it’s–”

  “You’re shagging,” he states, not even in a questioning tone. 

  Remus snaps his head up, gasping as he picks his eyebrows together, “No! No, Lord. No, we aren’t shagging…”

  Not yet, because he wants to. Remus really wants to. Whenever their kisses stretch for too long, he feels a knot in his throat begging him to go further. Everytime Sirius’ fingers are on his skin, he’s begging mentally for more. Still, he doesn’t say anything, because he knows Sirius hasn’t done it before — not with men, at least.

  He doesn’t want to press anything. If Sirius ever desires to do anything more than hotly making out, Remus would never deny it. However, things are great for now. There is no need to rush it.

  “You’re not?!”

  “No,” he stresses the word, so Kingsley would finally understand, “I don’t think he really wants it?”

  “Wait,” the boy stops in their path, “Are you two together or not?”

  Remus sighs audibly, “Yes, King. We’re together, but we haven’t done anything sexual yet. Happy?”

  “I’m shocked Sirius has even looked at you.”

  “Oh, piss off!” he nearly tosses one of the flowers before reminding himself they were for Sirius, and should not be wasted with Kingsley.

  “No, I mean–” he giggles softly, jogging towards his friend, “I thought he’d only have eyes for full wallets, if y’know what I mean.”

  Remus frowns carefully, gulping as his brain tries to set the best response for that, “He’s not like that.”

  “Except he kinda is.”

  “He’s not.”

  “You can’t put your morals aside just because he’s a good kisser or something.”

  “I am not, and– what about you, huh? You’re with James.”

  He watches how Kingsley stills, looking away as he fidgets with his rings, “We’re casual.”

  Remus scoffs, “Sure.”

  “You can’t even compare. I’m not in love with James, but you’re head over heels for Sirius. Therefore, I don’t have the obligation to push my morals away because of  him. It’s nothing serious.”

  “King…” he takes a deep breath, “Neither Sirius nor James are like that. They’re just stupid, but they actually listen when you explain things to them. It’s useless to scream at them, because they’re too hot headed.”

  “Still rich pricks.”

  “Oh, you’re fucking the rich prick,” Remus collides his shoulder on Kingsley’s, and the boy is laughing.

  “The rich prick is very hot.”

  He rolls his eyes, and then, the laughter is coming down in a slow motion, “Sirius doesn’t have the life you think he does,” he whispers, “he’s a really good person who deserves much better.”

  Kingsley’s eyes linger on his, and then, he’s nodding as the understandment comes around that Remus wouldn’t say anything more than that.

  He didn’t need to. That was all Kingsley should know about Sirius.

  “About the sex thing, though. Why aren’t you fucking?”

  Remus shrugs, “I don’t want to hurry things. We have been making out a lot, but I don’t think he wants to go further. At least not for now.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I– I shamelessly flirted with him this morning and he didn’t reply. And– he touches me a lot, like, everywhere, but he never does anything more than that. He never even kissed my neck.”

  “Have you kissed his?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to fuck him? That’s the question.”

  “Have you seen him?”

  Kingsley rolls his eyes, “Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first step.”

  Remus stares in consideration, and bites down his lip before eyeing the flowers embraced by his fingers. 

  “What if I make him uncomfortable?”

  “Do you trust your communication?”

  “Yes,” he doesn’t hesitate.

  “Then you’ll know if you’re making him uncomfortable or not,” he shrugs, “I’m not saying to drop to your knees or some shit, but if you’ve been hooking him the entire week and–”

  “Wait,” he stops in his path, “Me and him kissed yesterday night.”

  Kingsley’s face drops, and then, he’s chuckling, “You’re worried that you haven’t fucked yet when you only kissed yesterday?! Oh my God, Remus. You’re unbelievable!”

  “Oi! Stop. It’s a fair concern.”

  “No, it’s not. You can’t assume Sirius doesn’t want to shag you yet. If you keep kissing and kissing for three months, then we’ll resume this conversation, yeah?” Kingsley grabs his shoulder, squeezing it softly, “Just go with the flow.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  Exhausted from running around in a murder mystery game, all the 13 of them sat by the bonfire, letting the fire warm their sweaty bodies even more. Sirius’ heart raced on his aching throat, sore from all the screaming performance he had put on before. It didn’t matter, though, because he won the game either way.

  “Thank you,” Lily crowds, voice shaken with emotion as her smile breaks through her sorrowful face, “for this week.” A deep breath. No one dares interrupt; facing the girl with affection. She hugs her own legs, bringing them closer to her chest, “It was such a short time, but I still feel like a million things happened these seven days. Things I can’t even begin to explain,” she laughs, bringing her friends along too, “So, thank you. If we drift apart after this, I just want to make it clear that I’ll keep this week forever in my heart.”
  “Ah, shut up,” James grunts fondly, “We won’t drift away, Evans.”

  “Sometimes life’s a bitch,” she shrugs.

  “I mean,” Sirius cuts in, nervously picking on the edge of his dress, “We have each other’s contacts. We’ll never…” his breath gets caught on his throat as he ponders his own words and the veracity of them, “We’ll never really be out of each other’s lives.”

  “Stop being sad bitches,” Amelia tosses a stick onto the fire’s direction, watching it twitch and feed itself, slowly. “We just had a blast of a day. We can’t cry now, can we?”

  “She’s right,” Remus shifts closer to Sirius as he speaks. Their knees now resting against one another, “Crying is not a good suit for us.”

  A genuine, loud laugh rips through Sirius. It wasn’t even that funny, but he’d laugh at anything Remus would say.

  “I’m very pretty when I cry, mind you.”

  The look on Remus’ face told him he thought Sirius was pretty no matter what he was doing; however, he didn’t exactly say it, just shook his head and stared at his feet.

  “I think the camp would’ve been better if I was able to sleep with my girlfriend.” Peter shrugs, grabbing Sybill’s hand.

  “You’re such a perv. Did you know that?” Marlene arches one of her eyebrows, sending laughter through the group.

  “Oi! I never, ever, mentioned sex. Get your mind out of the gutter, McKinnon.”

  “No, no. You were definitely talking about sex,” James raises his pointer, controlling his laughter so his voice would sound clearer.

  “Oh, believe me. We did not need a bed to have sex.”

  “Pete!” Sybill exclaims, eyes bulging out in motion with the shocked laughters.

  “You’re such a pervert!” Marlene presses.

  “This is disgusting,” Sirius states, “I am awfully traumatised. Terribly traumatised!”

  “Oh, c’mon. We were not the only ones!”
  “Where did you fuck?!” Emmeline leans in.

  “That’s personal–” 

  “The woods,” Sybill cuts her boyfriend off.

  “Jesus.”

  “No!”

  “Oh my God. No, oh my God. That’s it. I am leaving.” Sirius claps his hands, standing up just in time for Remus to grip on the edge of his dress.

  “Don’t be a drama queen,” his laugh is hoarse, just perfectly attractive.

  If Sirius was to be fair, he’d also fuck in the woods if Remus Lupin gave him a chance to. Shaking his head, he returns to his place. Remus' hand doesn’t leave his dress.

  “What about the animals?” Lily asks.

  “Didn’t you get a leaf on your ass or something?” It’s Amelia’s turn to cut in.

  “I am sure they weren’t butt naked.” Mary argues.

  “No, good point. But it’s still madly uncomfortable.”

  “It was actually, madly hot.”

  “What on earth have you done to Sybill you disgusting little sex addict man?” Peter flips James off.

  “I didn’t do shit, you just don’t know how sick this woman actually is.” His arm is being thrown around Sybill’s shoulders, pulling her closer to splash a kiss on top of her head, “Am I right baby?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She looks up, her voice exhaling love in its pure form. 

  Sirius watches it, living through them. Sybill and Peter have always been the sickeningly cutest couple, and for so long, Sirius envied them — now, he just wondered if he’ll ever get a love like theirs; if Remus will ever love him, or if he will ever love Remus.

  Looking deep into it, it doesn’t really sound like a hard task.

  Time passes, and laughter increases while they share stories about their week. Most of them, stories known by all, others, soft secrets they didn’t spill until now — like how Emmeline caught Poppy and McGonagall a little too close during early morning. Sirius could ask how, but Emmeline always sees everything, at all times. It’s like her eyes are cameras and her brain is just a sensor that beeps whenever gossip is too close. He feels oblivious next to her.

  He waited anxiously for either Kingsley and James or Marlene and Mary to come out as a couple; they didn’t, but no one pressed them about it either.

  “Alright.” James takes a deep breath, holding his knees to support his weight as he stands up, “It’s getting extremely late. I’m extremely hungry too, so I’ll go to my room, steal Gid’s snacks and sleep.”

  “Oi!”

  “No, you’re right. We should all go to bed, or we won’t be getting up early, like, ever.”

  Sirius restrains himself to silence as his friends get up one by one. He has no sense of time, but it is clear that curfew ended hours ago; it was time to deal with reality and go back to their rooms. However, he doesn’t move, nor says anything. Going to sleep would mean this was over, would mean he’d have to go back to his parents’ home, and sicken himself to sleep — stop eating breakfast again, stop being curious about his girl friends’ clothes, and stop seeing Remus first thing in the morning.

  A breath is caught on his throat as his friends start walking away. Peter looks over his shoulder, asking if he’s coming, and Sirius shakes his head. Remus was still next to him, just the two of them — he wouldn’t move unless he did.

  “Are you alright?” Remus mutters once they’re alone. When Sirius faces him, the antagonising grip on his throat loosens up as he watches his eyes reflecting the flames of the fire in front of them.

  “Yeah…” it’s a mere breath, “Just can’t believe it’s over.”

  Carefully, Remus replied, “What did I say about being sad?”

  “You would too if you had a family like mine.” A sorrowful laugh.

  He hears Remus breathing, analysing each inch of his face, before smiling warmly, “I don’t want to rush anything. It’s been a week, and before that all I knew about you was that you were the most interesting human being ever; but—” he licks his lips, “You can crash on mine whenever you feel like it. I’d love to welcome you around.”

  The idea tastes like a lollipop on his tongue, and Sirius lets himself be pulled away by the fantasy of being in Remus' house all Summer; meet his parents, have breakfast, lunch and dinner with them; see his baby pictures and watch his cheeks glimmer red at embarrassing stories. For a moment, Sirius feels hopeful.

  “Yeah,” he simply nods, “Yeah, that’d sound perfect. I don’t feel like that is rushing anything, we’ve done all the rush we could. Don’t you think, Moony?”

  The boy frowns, lips twitching and eyes sparkling in something he could call curiosity, “Moony?”

  “That’s you.” he reaches for the strands of hair falling onto his forehead, and allows himself to play with Remus’ light curls, “The Sun looks extraordinary on you, but you were born to be in the moonlight. You look alive under the Moon, so it would be only fair to call you Moony.”

  “Mmm,” he pushes his head against Sirius’ palm like a dog, “Does that mean I’m part of the group now that I have a proper nickname?”

  Sirius chuckles “No. I would never let anyone call you Moony but me.”

  “Should I call you Padfoot then, or do I have to come up with a nickname too?”

  “No,” he shakes his head, “I love the way you say my name.”

  “Okay,” he grows an inch closer until their noses are touching. Softly, he shakes his head, feeling their noses bumping in a eskimo kiss. Unable to resist, Sirius reaches for his lips.

  It’s slow, careful, and fond. Sirius holds his arm, pulling himself closer. A smile splashed on his face as they savoured each other.

  “You stink,” Remus mutters. Frozen, Sirius pulls back enough to make Remus chuckle.

  “Excuse me?!”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t—” A loud wheeze. Sirius can’t help but laugh along, eyelashes nearly touching his eyebrows, “I meant this as an invitation to shower.”

  “You are the worst person ever.” Before Remus could cut in, he raises his hand, “No, I’m extremely offended right now, Moony. This was your invitation to go shower?! Telling me I stink?!”

  “I needed a motive!”

  “Fuck off!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he holds his waist, letting Sirius melt under his touch, “I need a shower too, y’know.”

  “Are you subtly asking to be naked under the water with me, Remus Lupin?” he crooks his head, watching Remus shrug.

  “I was actually thinking about showering in different divisions, but if you insist.”
  “Yeah, not sure I could resist your bare arms next to me, yet so far.”

  “You’re such a drama queen,” he whispers, stealing him a quick kiss. Sirius feels his body twitching away, and grasps on his sweater, restraining his movements, “We need to shower, Sirius.”

  “I want you close,” whining, he presses a kiss on his cheek, “All the time. Close, so close.”

  “We can be even closer when showering, don’t you think?”

  He freezes at his tone. For a moment, he suspects being dead, but the proper party happening inside his stomach tells him he’s quite alive. A smirk grows on his face, pondering what exactly Remus had meant by that.

  “Did you just invite me to shag?”

  “Get your mind out of the gutter.” It’s all he says before pushing away from Sirius completely. 

  “You did!” Sirius excitedly exclaims when spotting a smile on the other’s face.

  Instead of replying, Remus just rolls his eyes, walking away. And, of course, there’s nothing Sirius could do but follow him; all the past frustration fogged by what could happen.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  It’s no surprise they entered the cabin tangled in each other. Remus had his hand on Sirius’ ponytail, softly gripping on it as his mouth desperately opened to welcome Sirius’ tongue each time.

  Humming, Sirius starts pulling Remus’ sweater up, and without a word, Remus pulls back to take it off. 

  Weirdly, he isn’t nervous, and knows Remus isn’t either. It feels right, like they have been in this situation a million times before. Yet, he couldn’t deny the clear hunger on the air, the anticipation, the eagerness. Sirius works on his shoes before destroying his ponytail, letting his messy hair fall around his shoulder as he watches Remus stepping out of his trainers — his muscles flexing as he does so; Sirius’ mouth waters at the scars on his torso, remembering how hard he’d fantasised with them on the lake; at the reminder that now he was allowed to touch, he falls against Remus, hearing his gasp as his hands roar over his body, senseless.

  “Off—” he hears Remus mutter against his lips, and pulls back. His fingers now playing with the shoulder straps of his dress.

  It doesn’t take a second for Sirius to discard the dress, letting it fall around his feet.

  “Beautiful. Absolutely divine.” Sirius doesn’t have time to reply before Remus is snogging him again, this time harder and thirstier, as if Sirius is his last meal of his lifetime. He gasps, nails digging into his wide shoulders as he rolls his hips, suppressing a moan at the bulge against his lower belly.

  “Moony— Moony,” he whimpers, his left fingers grasping at the waistband of his joggers.

  “Mhm,” he hears his distracted voice, mouth leaning in, searching for Sirius’ when he pulls back.

  “Need you naked.” He confesses, “Please.”

  “If you keep talking that way, we’ll never make it to the showers.”
  Sirius chuckles, and lets Remus get rid of his joggers as he walks over to the first shower he sees, turning on the water. He lets it wet his body, sighing in both relief and shock at the coldness; quickly, he takes off his underwear, and feels the water warm before Remus’ fingers are digging into his hips from behind. It doesn’t take much to know he got rid of his boxers as well.

  A kiss on his shoulder, and Sirius is letting his head fall against Remus, grinning widely.

  “You’re perfect,” he says.

  “Mmmm,” is the only thing Sirius can let out before he’s being turned around, lips captured in a fierce motion.

  He pants at the way Remus’ cock rested against his, half-hard and hot. He wants to look, admire, but there is nothing he can do other than suck on his tongue, and swallow his noises. Involuntarily, he thrusts his hips up, and feels Remus fall apart around him.

  “Jesus fucking Christ.” He curses, ripping a wheeze off Sirius, who throws his head back just in time for Remus to take advantage, attacking his neck with his tongue and teeth, “I need you. Need you so badly.”

  “Touch me,” he breathes out, and it doesn’t take long for long, harsh feelings to wrap around him. His brain shuts off alongside the loud gasp that breaks through him, “Shit…”

  He grabs on his damp curls, pulling him up to kiss him open mouthed; thrusts fastening on his cock as he bucks his hips, leg raising and locking around Remus’ waist.

  It’s sharp, messy, full of yearning and desperation. Sirius is drunk in it; he moves, kisses, gasps. Mind a stranger to anything other than Remus and the sensations he’s giving him.

  His hand travels down, opening his eyes to watch the moment Remus’ jaw flexes when Sirius touches his erection. It’s by far the most erotic thing he’s ever seen. His wet hair falling on his face, water dripping all over his tanned skin; eyes darker than ever and plumped lips separated as he breathes heavily.

  “You’re a fucking angel— No. No, you’re God itself.”

  Remus softly hardens his grip as he smirks, biting Sirius’ lower lip, and swallowing the loud moan he let out.

  He is ready to reply, maybe do the same thing to him, when chatter is spotted from outside. Bodies gone cold before Remus stepped back, quickly pulling Sirius to the laundry room.

  “Shit,” Sirius gasps, and Remus presses him against the cold tiles, covering his mouth as he looks through the small window of the door.

  “Fuck’s sake, who let the water running?” A girl groans. Sirius’ heart beats so fast against his ribcage he’s afraid they can listen from outside. 

 Remus’ face is harsh. Eyebrows pressed together and chest moving up and down in a fast motion. He looks down, and freezes once again — the clothes.

  “Rem–” he murmurs against his palm, but Remus presses harder.

  “Shh! We’re gonna get caught,” he whispers, face so close. 

  He wriggles his eyebrows, and Remus shoots him a look that has him containing his laughter.

  “Shit, Gladys. Look,” another girl whispers, and then, they laugh together.

  “Oh fuck. Sorry! Sorry we’re leaving!”

  “Have fun! Careful with the babies!”

  “Shut up!”

  And then, as quick as they arrive, they’re gone. Remus drops his hand, and Sirius takes a deep breath, heart still fast, but far more controlled.

  One look at Remus, and he’s chuckling.

  “Oh, piss off!”

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he wipes his lips, “It’s just– your face. You look like it was McGonagall or some shit.”

  “It could’ve been!” his voice is loud, but smiley.

  “You worry too much, Moony.” He grips his shoulder, pulling him into a soft kiss, “Guess your boner is gone.”

  “I was terrified,” he commented.

  “I could tell.”

  “Is your boner gone?”

  “You’re naked, wet, in front of me. I could never get turned off.”

  Remus’ cheeks flush, and he’s dropping his head to Sirius’ shoulder, kissing it softly, “Maybe it was a sign to go back to the cabin before our friends know exactly what we’re doing.”

  “They’re asleep…” his voice is a string, and he’s wrapping his leg around Remus, “And I can’t have sex with you on those beds.”

  “I’ll suck you off,” he mutters, “What do you think?”
  He whines, both in protest and anticipation for Remus’ mouth, “Want you inside.”

  “Sirius,” he warns, “You’ve never done that.” Sirius takes a deep breath, because Remus remembers, “It’s not something we can do in a laundry room, without lube, or a conversation and a comfortable position.”

  Sirius rolls his eyes, kissing his cheek. He knows he is right, it’s not something they could do; yet, he can’t help but feel frustrated about it, because Remus’ cock is probably the solution for all his problems. “You’re an angel.” He whispers against his skin.

  “I will blow you, if you want.”

  A breath is caught on his throat at the glimmer on Remus’ eyes, and embarrassingly, he desperately nods.

  “Yes. Yes, please.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  Heaven is what Sirius would call laying on Remus’ chest, hearing his heartbeat and feeling his breathing. It’s silent, quiet as he traces the scars on his arm with his fingers, so softly the sensation could go unnoticed.

  Remus wanted to sleep on the floor so their friends wouldn’t catch them cuddling together. Sirius didn’t let him. Of course he didn’t. It was insanity to ever believe that mattered; that he’d exchange Remus' touch for a secret.

  He knows it’s for the better — that is too soon, and that it was better to spare themselves from the big deal their friends would make out of it; but Sirius was never the one to think first, so, he laid there, trapping Remus under him.

  “A penny for your thoughts?”

  The low murmur shifts him a little bit, surprised Remus was just awake as him.

  “I just— it was really special,” Sirius confesses, and Remus’ fingers run through his hair.

  “Yes, it was.”

  “I never— well, I did. Once. With a girl, when I was confused.” He sighs, “You’re the first person I feel like I actually like. And, that sounds a bit insane, because a week ago I hated you.”
  Remus laughs through his nose, “Thought we had come to the conclusion you were jealous of me.”

  Moving, he presses his chin on his chest, batting his eyelashes at the boy staring at the ceiling.

  “Remus.” He calls, because that is not what he wants to hear.

  A sigh, “I really like you, too.” He gazes down, “Always did, you know so. This feels quite unreal somehow, the fact that I went from being in love with this fantasy to actually getting feelings for the real, annoying, arrogant real thing.”
  He smiles at the names, because it’s true, and still, he knows Remus doesn’t mean it.

  “Thank you.”

  “For insulting you?” He places one arm under his head, lifting an eyebrow.

  “No.” Sirius shakes his head in a soft smile, “For liking me. Actually liking me, even when I was the biggest wanker on earth.”
  “It’s your charm.”

  Rolling his eyes, he crawls up to taste Remus’ lips, drinking the sensation he’ll never grow tired of. Years could pass, and Sirius is entirely sure the addiction would only increase until he’s dying for it.

  “We gotta sleep,” he whispers, kissing him tongueless.

  “Mhm. We do.” Yet, he leans in once Sirius pulls back. Silently, he smiles, watching him lay his head back down, closing his eyes. By the hard breathing, Sirius knows he did, too.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

  “You ready, Pads?” James slaps the door. Startled, Sirius waves his hair, moving his bulged eyes to James standing by the entrance.

  He eyes his bag, then says, “Yes,” and finishes zipping it shut.

  The wood cracks, and the presence of James warms Sirius’ side, “So… is there anything you intend on telling me?”
  Sirius woke up before Remus, but after James, Peter or Gideon. Therefore, he didn’t have to do any mind stretching to understand the lack of subtlety of his friend.

  “I don’t know Prongs. Do you have anything to tell me?”

  He shrugs, “No…”
  Sirius rolls his eyes at his soft pout and laughs silently, “Don’t make a big deal out of it, alright? We got together the night before last night.”

  “I’m not surprised,” he comments, making space for his butt on Sirius’ bed, “just find it funny.”
  “Funny.” He repeats.

  “Thought Remus was your mortal enemy.”
  “Thought you wanted to sell Kingsley’s head.”

  James blinks, then sighs. Eyes dropping to the floor, “Do not.”

  “Why? Is everything ok?” He stops his motion, furring his eyebrows at him.

  “No– yes, I mean… complicated. It’s complicated. It’s casual, and I can’t read him. Everytime I want to ask if we’ll keep seeing each other after we go home, he just dodges the bullet.”

  “Do you want to keep seeing him?”

  Silence.

  “I don’t want to fall in love.”

  When James’ eyes lock on his again, Sirius feels his air being sucked out of his body, leaving only space for James’ emotions inside him, as if it was his.

  “James, there’s nothing bad with falling in love.”

  “It’s clear that he wants to be casual, and I won’t settle for another heartbreak ever since Lily.”

  “You can’t grasp on how sad you were after Lily. Look at you now, you’re best friends! It’s not the end of the world.”

  “Am I wrong for wanting to avoid it?” His voice is increasing volume, and Sirius has to push his bags to sit down and grab his hands, “Kingsley is bad business, always was.”

  “Well, then be clear and harsh with him. Tell him you want communication and not a blowjob every time you want to ask him valid questions.”

  There’s consideration on James’ face, and yet he just shakes his head, “Not as easy as you put it. Thanks, though.” Their hands are being detached when James gets back on his feet, plastically smiling at his best friend, “Don’t be late.”
  And he’s gone.

  Sirius sighs. A whole life of being James’ best friend, and yet, it’s impossible to get him to soften and hear anyone when he’s like this. He runs from confrontation, runs from his emotions and buckles them up until he implodes. He’s the most skilled actor when it comes to faking his emotions, but Sirius will always see through him — somehow, he feels like a bad friend for never being able to make him break in and actually talk.

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  They’re all in the exact place as they started, but this time, facing the opposite side of the camp entrance. Sirius is next to Remus, between him and Lily; Kingsley and James are talking between them, and Sirius isn’t sure if he should celebrate or not, because even though James is shining, he now knows he’s hurting inside.

  He gulps, straightening his back to keep eyeing his friends. Amelia and Emmeline, and Peter and Sybill are as glued as always. Gideon is next to Fabian, also whispering something to his ear.

  Nothing ever knew except for Marlene and Mary, who are lazily snogging, actively ignoring McGonagall and everyone. He squints, wondering if he missed anything.

  “Did they… come out?”

  Lily looks at him, and then, at them, “Ages ago.”

  “No.” He scoffs, “As a couple. Did they say anything? Did I miss something?”

  “Oh. No. No, they never mentioned anything.”

  He nods slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line. Those two are a pandora box, that is for certain — not that they’d have to say anything about it; it’s just curious how they decided to just start acting like they have always been together and leave everyone confused until they figure it out for themselves.

  Thinking about it, it’s the most Marlene thing she has ever done.

  “Hey,” Remus calls in a whisper, “Can I sit with you on the bus?”

  Sirius frowns slightly, “I thought you’d sit with Lily—” noticing the drop of eyebrows, he’s quick to add, “But of course. Obviously, yes. Yes, I will gladly sit with you,” he reaches for his hand, squeezing it.

  Remus laughs, “Got it. I just— just wanted to be with you.”

  “For 4 hours straight.”

  “For 4 hours straight,” he confirms.

  “Might wanna be careful, don’t think you’ll handle not kissing me for four hours.”

  “Who said I’ll try not to kiss you?”

  Sirius is a fool. The best of fools, because he melts right in place, dropping his head to the side and shooting a sickening sweet smile at Remus, who leans down to kiss him fondly.

  Now he understands Mary and Marlene, because everyone disappears the moment his hands are grabbing Remus’ face, and his waist is being used to pull their bodies closer.

  “Ahem,” and it’s over.

  They pull apart, smiling softly at each other in embarrassment and humour before Sirius looks over his shoulder, batting his eyelashes at Lily.

  “Yes?”

  “I won’t ask anything. I should start looking for friends who actually tell me things, y’know? Did you all agree to just kiss each other in front of me instead of saying ‘Hey Lily, we are together by the way!’?”

  Oh.

  Oh. That’s right. They didn’t tell anyone yet — fuck James for making him forget he’s the only one who knows.

  “It’s a new thing, Lils,” he decides to say, “We were eventually going to say something. Might’ve forgotten when he kissed me.”

  She rolls her eyes, a ghost of a smile on her lips, “I feel disgustingly single.”

  “Oh, c’mon,” Remus scoffs, “what’s even wrong with being single?”

  “Nothing. I love being an independent woman who knows exactly what she wants…”

  “But…” He encourages, and she’s sighing loudly.

  “I want a romance too. You’re all so happy, kissing, shagging. I’m just alone.”

  “Fabian is single. Gideon is single,” Sirius points out, “No issue in being single.”

  She presses her lips into a thin line, “Fabian’s not single,” she mutters.

  Sirius frowns, “What?”

  “I– I think he has a girlfriend.”

  “No he has not,” Sirius argues, incredulous at the assumption.

  Fabian is a quiet person, he really is. Therefore, it’d make perfect sense for him to hide a girlfriend, if he wasn’t the loudest boy when he had a crush.

  “I saw him talking to a girl a few weeks ago. They were laughing, and talking, and she touched his shoulder and he stared at it. Like–” she takes a deep breath, “Like really staring. And then, he laughs at her. He didn’t see me, of course, but I did. Oh, I did. And—” there’s silence, and Sirius blinks, because maybe she had finally stopped. Instead, she takes a deep breath, “And she was gorgeous. Brown hair, long. Brown eyes, too. Skinny. Black leather clothes. Perfect. I’d date her too.”

  Sirius licks his lips, gazing at Remus, who just bit his lower lip, swallowing laughter.

  “You think he’s dating because he was laughing with a girl?” he presses, voice slow. Lily, who’s still not looking at him, just rolls her eyes.

  “I know the difference between laughing and laughing. As you can see, I’m surrounded by couples. I have developed a skill.”

  “You seem upset.”

  “Upset?!” he finally gets her attention, “Why’d I be upset?! I’m upset because no one ever tells me things. I’m happy that he’s dating. So happy. Just like I’m happy for you two, and for Mary and Mars.”

  “Okay,” he raises his hands in redemption, “Alright. You are not upset that Fabian, our dearest friend has a… how’d you say? Gorgeous, brunette, perfect girl.”

  “I’m not lying, she was gorgeous.”

  “So you’re jealous because you want to date her?”

  “Who said I’m jealous?!”

  “Sirius,” Remus places his hand on his shoulder, “Don’t piss her off.”

  “I'm innocently asking questions about my best friend’s mysterious girlfriend since the biggest gossiper of all didn’t tell us anything for weeks.”

  “I didn’t tell because I respect people’s privacy.” Sirius squints at her, “Most of the time,” she adds, and looks away, growing back to the previous silence.

  Sirius gazes at Remus, and there’s no words exchanged to know they are thinking the same thing. Remus shakes his head softly, and Sirius knows not to press Lily any further. She is far too stubborn to ever admit anything, especially if it is having a crush on another of her best friends.

  Maybe it’s a thing with Lily. First she dates James, then she apparently dates Marlene, and now she fancies Fabian — allegedly.

  Sirius sighs, looking at Fabian this time. He’s not talking to Gideon anymore; just staring at McGonagall as she talks. Sirius wonders if Fabin fancies Lily too, or if it’s just an unrequited crush — he should. Everyone should like Lily Evans back.

  But then again, Lily never said she had a crush on him. She was only painfully obvious about it; it doesn’t mean anything until she is admitting it. It’ll probably take a while, but she’ll get there.

  After long, painful minutes, they’re on the bus. Sirius pushes through the small space until he finds Remus, and wastes no time before sitting down, smiling widely at him.

  “Hi,” he says.

  “Hello there. Need help with the belt?”

  “I know how to put a seat belt on.”

  Ignoring him, Remus puts Sirius’ belt on, stealing him a kiss as a distraction as he does so. He doesn’t fight it, just smiles against his lips, trying to get everything from him in short seconds before he pulls away.

  Weirdly, James and Kingsley are sitting together, laughing at James’ phone once they finally get signal. 

  It’s uncanny to see the different placements. It should feel like the group had broken apart, but seeing Sybill and Peter sleeping against each other, Marlene and Mary holding hands, and Gideon happily chatting with Emmeline and Amelia behind him, Sirius feels complete. 

  It took only a week, but they bonded so strongly, in a way he’d never imagined. 

  Remus’ head rests against his shoulder as he reads on his phone, and Sirius rests against his skull, sighing.

  It’s a bittersweet feeling — both achievement and loss. 

  They won everything, but life is just about to start for good, and the future awaits them, reserving mysteries they couldn’t guess.

  He shifts on his seat, grabbing his phone and searching for Lily’s contact.

Sirius: Sitting with Fab?

Lily: You’re deeply annoying.

Sirius: Yk I’ll never let you live through this

Lily: Fabian is my BEST FRIEND

Sirius: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Lily: Goodbye 👋👋👋

  He chuckles, getting Remus’ attention, “What?” he asks, curiously. Sirius hands him his phone, and watches him sighing, playful smile on his lips, “You are a menace.”

  “No, Moony. I just started my cupid mission for the Summer.”

  Rolling his eyes, Remus goes back to his reading. Head back on his shoulder as he does so, “You’re stupid.”

  “Thought we had come to an agreement that you had a crush on me forever.”

  He hears a groan, “And I am deeply regretting it.”

  Sirius laughs, kissing his head before nudging his nose on his hair, inhaling the smell — it's divine.

  A deep breath, and he’s closing his eyes, pushing away his concerns about going back home — it didn’t matter for now. Summer was coming, and so was the rest of his life. After this week, he’s never felt more hopeful about it.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆