Chapter 1
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For Sirius, anything was the perfect excuse to stay away from home. Luckily for him, his parents didn’t want him around either.
Ever since he was a kid returning home for Christmas after spending months getting to keep distance from his family, he looked forward to the day he’d graduate. In his mind, his life would be perfect. School would end, and he’d pack his bags, leave home and never look back.
However, now in the final stretch of his last year of school, Sirius realises that ‘easy’ was not the word to describe his departure from home. Unless he found an excellent job the day after graduation, his mother and father’s face would keep being a familiar sight for him for quite a while.
So, for that he had two options: spend the last week of school at home, crying about something he couldn’t avoid; or have his parents sign a permission for him to go to a school camp with his fellow classmates.
It was an easy pick. Another good thing is that his parents stopped caring about anything related to his life by the time he reached 15.
“Here.” He threw the paper on the table in front of his father. The man’s eyes lifted from the newspaper. An extreme tedious look to match Sirius’ indifference, “There is a school camp trip happening in two weeks. It’s to celebrate our graduation, and work group or whatever,” he explained as Orion picked the paper up, reading through the lines with no care for it, “you both have to sign it.”
His mother finally looks at him. Differently from his father, she seemed rather curious about the trip. Sirius didn’t feel grateful for it.
“Let me see,” she stretches her arm, and Orion hands her the paper before returning to his own world. Ears still perked up, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, “how much is it?”
“Like that matters,” he scoffs, but Walburga shuts him up with a sharp look. Sirius gulps, and buries his hands inside the front pockets of his trousers, “40 pounds. 20 for the bus trip, 20 for the camp stay.”
“What do you think, Orion? Do you reckon the kid should go?” she asks.
“I must admit it sounds as insipid as our son,” he mumbles as if Sirius is not standing there.
There is silence between the two of them, before Walburga is nodding carefully, “You can go.”
Sirius’ lips raise in a bright, victorious smile. He watches Walburga signing in, and then Orion putting his name underneath hers. Once the paper is on his hands again, Sirius is turning around and leaving the office without saying anything.
That was the only good thing about having the parents he had. They went from punishing him for breathing the wrong way, to simply ignoring his presence in the house — which felt terrible, but at least he has more time in his hands to plan his way out of there without living on the edge of death.
His eyes fall on the paper. Walburga’s name written so carefully, — she had always been the one to love being seen and praised — while Orion’s handwriting made his lack of care way too visible. It didn’t matter, though, because Sirius gets to spend a week away from them for the first time since he had a weekend at James’ house years ago.
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Sirius was never late to anything. It was a very good quality of him — something he got from his family. They’d always taught him that being late was rude, and for once, Sirius agrees. Even after rebelling against his family, being on time was something he did not give up on.
James on the other hand, — although being taught the exact same way by his parents — was always, at least, 5 minutes late for everything.
Sirius sits by the school’s front staircase, drumming his fingers against his bags, while Peter checks his phone every two seconds to make sure James wouldn’t miss the bus.
It was 08:45, exactly ten minutes later than James should be.
“I’m going to kill him,” Peter groans, putting his phone down.
Sirius shakes his head in a laugh, “It’s James, Pete.”
“What if we have to leave without him?”
“That’s not happening,” Fabian makes his way between the two, sitting down and placing his single green bag on his lap, “They have to make sure every student is here before we leave. Besides, there’s more people missing and only Hooch and Hagrid are here, meaning that there’s two more teachers to arrive.”
“Where is the rest of your stuff?” Sirius frowns, looking at his friend.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re staying 7 days, not 2.”
“This is more than enough for 7 days.”
“How many outfit changes do you have in there?”
Fabian opens his mouth, and Sirius starts working on the perfect argument to shut him down when James’ voice breaks into his ears.
“I’m here!” he says, placing both of his hands on his knees as he pants. Two bags falling down his shoulders.
“You’re twelve minutes late, James!”
“I slept in!”
“Do alarms not work inside your house?” Peter argues back, and James rolls his eyes before letting his bags fall on the floor, sitting by Sirius’ feet. He lets his head rest against the boy’s knees and closes his eyes to regulate his breath.
“Bugger off, Pete,” he mumbles, “It’s like 8 o’clock in the morning.”
Peter leans forward, reaching his hand to shuffle James’ hair. The boy shifts away in a laugh, slapping his hand away.
“What was that for?!”
“Is everyone here?!” Hooch’s loud voice interrupts Peter’s explanation, “Is everyone here?!”
“Yes!” they all shout.
“Alright! 12A and B, on my left. 12C, on the right with McGonagall. We’re going to call each one of your names, and you can proceed to the bus afterwards!”
Once James’ head is off Sirius’ knee, he jumps out of his place, grabbing his bag and following his friends to the queue forming at the school entry.
“How is that bus fitting like 50 of us?”
“It is pretty big,” Sirius replies, his palm already aching by the massive weight of his bags. Weak, he thinks to himself
“I can’t wait to sleep.”
“Did you bring your loudspeaker?”
“No. Sorry, Am. Maybe Penny did?”
“Mine ran out of battery.”
“Did you bring snacks?”
“Do you think we can get paired up with boys there?”
“They’ll never let that happen.”
“Boring.”
“What about gay people?! They just… get to win?”
“Shut up, Gus.”
“He’s right, though. I mean, we can’t sleep with our partners but if you’re a lesbian you can have your fun?!”
Sirius mentally rolls his eyes at the loud chattering settling around him. It shouldn’t surprise him that sex would be the only thing in teenagers’ minds — it’d be in Sirius’ too if he had someone to even have sex with.
Still, it was far too early in the morning for him to not be bitter about their extremely annoyed voices.
“Did you bring booze?” James looks over his shoulder. Voice low not to catch anyone’s attention.
Sirius’ eyes sparkle at his friend. He might be extremely resentful of other people having sex in their cabins for the week, but nothing could throw him away from partying.
Right after all of his friends got their confirmations, Sirius and James were sitting them all down, coming up with brilliant ideas for a party without the adults noticing. It’d be hard, and they’d have to be extremely quiet, too — but Sirius knew how to handle it.
“Of course. Who do you think I am?”
James smirks, and looks forward again.
Names started being called, one by one according to the alphabet. It wasn’t separated by classes, and that made Sirius wonder if all the good spots of the bus would be taken before he even got inside.
He was trusting Amelia with that.
“Sirius Black!” he heard after what felt like an eternity. Almost everyone was already inside, waiting, and meanwhile Sirius was still standing there, bags in hand, rolling his eyes at the absence of his friends.
Once again, fuck Walburga and Orion Black.
“Fucking finally,” he mutters, walking towards Hooch.
“Manners, Black.”
“Sorry,” he throws his bags inside of their compartment, and rushes inside of the bus, eyes wandering around until he finds his friends waving at him. James pointing to the empty space next to him.
“Where’s Lil?” he asks, because Peter was sitting next to Fabian, behind him and James. Amelia was with Emmeline in the front, and Marlene was beside Doris Purkiss.
He puts his belt on, waiting for a response.
“She’s off with Lupin,” Fabian finally says, and Sirius’ head snaps back.
“Are you kidding?!” he grabs the edges of his chair, pulling his body up, “She traded us for Lupin?”
Peter shrugs at the same time James hits Sirius’ waist, hissing at him to keep his voice low.
His eyes rush to the back, just to find Lily laughing at something Lupin was showing to her on his phone. He scoffs annoyingly at the sight.
It wasn’t a mystery that Lily was sickly attached to him. Ever since last year, when he moved to the school, Lily had started putting her friends aside to welcome him around — she loves doing that; even when Lupin wasn’t even part of their class.
Soon enough, she was dividing her time between her childhood best friends, and Remus Lupin’s friends.
Sirius didn’t hate Lupin. He really didn’t. There was nothing there to hate — maybe the way their teachers spoke so highly about him, using him as an example to the rest of their classes. Perhaps how Lupin’s name was always at the tip of his best friend’s tongue, even when the subject is Sirius and his life, but he didn’t hate him… he just couldn’t stand the mention of him.
Always the perfect, bloody brilliant student Remus Lupin, and the sweet, kind friend Remus Lupin.
Besides stealing Sirius’ place as the wisest student of the year, he also stole his best friend; alright, maybe Sirius did hate Remus Lupin.
“Just leave her be,” Amelia turns around, “She texted me saying that he didn’t have anyone to sit with him.”
“Oh, boo-hoo,” he rolls his eyes, letting his body fall back down, “I feel so bad for him.”
“Don’t be a prick,” Emmeline shoots, “He’s her friend, too.”
“Well, we arrived first. It’s a four hour long trip, for god’s sake! She was supposed to be with us.”
“I sort of agree with him,” James says, “I mean— Lupin could just sit with one of his classmates, no?”
“You men are so whiny, aren’t you?” Emmeline raises an eyebrow, and Peter raises a hand behind James’ head to flip her off. The girl laughs, throwing her head back.
“We’re not whiny, Emme. We were betrayed! Don’t you feel betrayed?!”
“Oh, yes.” She lifts her body to take a better look at her friends behind her, “Lily is going to spend the next 4 hours away from us. I mean, how can this group even work now? We all need to be attached hip to hip 24 hours a day.”
“Exactly,” Sirius shrugs, ignoring the wave of acid sarcasm coming from the girl’s mouth.
“She’ll be around us after we get there. Don’t worry about that, eh?” Amelia shoos him down, “Besides, Marls seems quite entertained by Purkiss.”
They all face Marlene on their side. The girl was actively gesticulating while Doris nodded with a soft smile.
“And when they kissed in the final scene… God, I was dead!” she exhales, eyes still on Doris as if her friends weren’t right beside her.
“Fine,” Sirius throws his hands up in defeat.
Lily has the right to make her own decisions, he tells himself, trying to push away the bitter feeling on his guts.
“Do you really hate that Lily is sitting away from us, or do you hate that she is sitting with Lupin?” James asks against his ear, and fuck James for that.
He blinks, turning his head slowly, “Both,” he says.
James smirks, nodding slowly. He pulls his phone out, leaving Sirius with his own thoughts once again.
He knew that James wasn’t the biggest fan of that friendship either. Both of them had shared talks about how much they missed Lily sometimes. Yet, he felt like he was the only one who actually felt angry towards Remus.
Emmeline and Amelia liked him, — maybe it was a couple things to hate and love the same people — Peter and Fabian couldn’t care less about his existence. James simply missed his friend and Sirius? Sirius hated the sight of the curly light brown hair at the school hallway every single morning.
It wasn’t a fair share, was it? They should all collectively hate Lupin for stealing Lily from them. But they didn’t.
“Belts on!” McGonagall screams, “Belts on!”
There’s loud noises coming from the students, and Sirius can barely hear what Pomfrey is telling them from behind McGonagall.
The woman starts walking between the seats, looking at everyone’s lap to make sure no one was disobeying the rules.
It takes a few minutes for them to actually start moving, but eventually, they were leaving the school grounds. Sirius put his headphones on, keeping one ear out in case any of his friends intended on talking to him, and locked eyes with the window.
One week. He will spend an entire week surrounded by his friends, probably doing fun things like swimming in a lake. A full week without the creepy silence of his wide, empty house. 7 nights without having to stay quiet until everyone has finished dinner so he can go back to his bed and wait for the next school day.
It’d be fucking paradise.
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“Bugger off!” Sirius shouts at Marlene after she leans into his direction, poking at his arm teasingly.
“Look at me, you twat.”
“What?!”
Marlene waves a bag of chips, and Sirius grabs it without saying anything, “Oi! I offered a chip or two, not the whole package!”
Four hours inside a bus would mean hunger. Their bags were put away, and if you weren’t wise enough to bring some food with you to the bus, you lost.
Sirius wasn’t wise enough. Far too excited about the camp to even think about the bus ride there.
He buries his hand inside the bag, pulling off a hand full of chips. The sound alerts James, who opens his eyes to take some of it too. Fabian touches his head, and then he’s sharing it with him as well.
It wasn’t a surprise that, when the package returned to Marlene’s hand, it was just crumbs. The girl angrily mumbled, but threw it all inside her mouth afterwards.
The rest of the ride was filled by loud music coming from the boys in the back. Some weird rap songs filled with misogynistic lyrics and sex descriptions. At some point, Sirius gave up on his headphones, unable to concentrate on his music — he didn’t even fathom how James could fall asleep with that.
There was shouting, and papers flying around. Every now and then McGonagall would shout, being supported by Hooch. Still, nothing changed.
Emmeline and Amelia were all over each other. Sirius could watch how they were kissing every now and then, holding hands the entire time while sharing a wired earphone. It was disgustingly cute.
Meanwhile, Peter was on facetime with Sybill who was just far ahead of them, sitting next to one of her friends. They could barely hear each other, but it worked for them.
Fabian, on the other hand, had his headphones covering both of his ears, blocking the noise from the bus. His eyes were focused on his phone, and Sirius wondered how long the battery would last.
Marlene seemed far too engaged in a conversation with Doris Purkiss, although he had never seen those two together in his life.
And Sirius would be chatting with Lily — if she was there.
He looks back, eyeing Lupin and Lily. They were still talking, giggling nonstop. He’d point at the book in his hand, and Lily would read before covering her mouth with wide eyes. Lupin would throw his head back in a loud chuckle, and mumble something to her as his eyes glued back on the page. He couldn’t even say a word without laughing at the sound of Lily commenting on everything.
Curiosity hit him. What on earth could be so funny about that book?
Why would Remus even read a book in the middle of this mess?
Sirius rolls his eyes, and looks back to the bus window. He tries his best not to glance at them, but every now and then, his eyes stop there, observing every movement Lupin and Lily make.
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“Alright,” Hagrid claps, settling his bags in front of his feet. Hooch, Pomfrey and McGonagall were beside him, and all of the students stood quietly, waiting for the rules they would later break, “before we go in, there are rules to establish. First, no sneaking into the forest without supervision. It can be dangerous, and you need to have at least one responsible adult looking out for you. Secondly, do not pollute the camp! I don’t want to see your trash on the floor. It’s our earth, we have to take care of it.”
“Can we just go to the cabins?” a boy says from the back.
“Please, Mr.Wood, this is important information,” McGonagall says, “you’re not here to mess around. This trip is a reward for your hard work. You should have fun, but it is still a school trip, and there are rules. This camp has owners. Owners who allowed us to stay here for a week, so you mustn’t embarrass yourselves, nor us or the school. Got it?”
“Yes,” they reply together.
“There will be activities to improve your group work. Every day we will be having activities that include working together with your fellow classmates, and learning survival skills for when you’re away from the city,” Hooch steps forward, taking the spotlight as she naturally does. Everyone listens quietly, although some complaints are heard amongst the silence.
“You all have to be by the cafeteria by 7 o’clock in the morning–“
“Boo!”
“What?! That’s so early.”
“C’mon!”
“Silence,” Hooch hisses, and everyone mumbles back to crickets, “Routines are important in your lives. You all will have to follow them whether you enjoy it or not. That said, 7 is the time you get to eat your breakfast. By 8 the activities start and you’ll have lunch by midday. You’ll get to enjoy yourselves until 3, when the activities resume and they stretch until dinner at 7 o’clock, with the previous snack break at 4 o’clock. Curfew is at 9, and I don’t want to see any souls outside. Any.”
“Nine?!” this time, it is James who shouts, “That’s insane!”
“Why is that?” Hooch locks her hands in front of her body.
“I– Uh– because– hello?! It’s so early, the sun is going down by that time.”
“The sunset is at eight, Mr.Potter.”
“Still! Hooch, please.”
“Yeah,” a girl supports, and with that encouragement, they’re all shouting their desperate pleas for more time outside.
The teachers share a look, before Hooch is blowing her whistle, quieting everybody, “9:30 and the case is closed! We’re in the middle of the woods, and it can be dangerous for all of you to be wandering around like you’re in the comfort of your house. Pomfrey is here in case any of you get hurt, but if you get yourselves injured during the night, away from the cabins, it’s out of our reach.”
“Yes,” Pomfrey begins, “It’s for your safety. Not just because of potential animals. The light is dim, and the chances of any of you falling and getting hurt is high. For that, you all need to be safe in your cabins during the night time.”
“What if we have to pee?” Peter asks.
“Well, the cabins do have a bathroom inside. That shouldn’t be a problem.”
“And if we want to eat?” Mary Macdonald’s voice rises.
“Cafeteria will be closed right after dinner. No one will be there, and you cannot get in. It opens after the employees get here by 6:30 in the morning.”
“Bring snacks to your cabins,” Hagrid suggests, “There are plenty of ways to avoid getting outside your cabins.”
“Any more questions?” silence, “Perfect. Now, all of you will be separated by 4 groups per cabin,” cheering starts floating around, before Hooch breaks all the hopes, “We will be choosing the groups.”
“What?!” Sirius lets himself shout.
There were complaints of ‘That’s not fair’ ‘Fuck that!’ Sirius looks around, finding James eyeing Peter, horrified. They had planned to stay together. Him, James and Lily — because Peter held onto the hope that boys and girls could share a room, so he’d stay with Sybill.
He should’ve been expecting this.
“Calm down, calm down!” McGonagall tries, raising her voice between the noise, “We won’t assign you with anyone you don’t want to be with. Boys stay with boys. Girls stay with girls.”
“This is bullshit. Utter dog bullshit!”
“That’s not fair!”
“Alright. Quiet everyone before I send you all back to that bus!” Hooch claps, “We will call your names. If you’re unsatisfied with the choice, we will try to change it.”
There were more protests before Hagrid simply announced he’d start calling their names, grabbing the list. Friends would dramatically wave at each other as if they were being separated for life, and Sirius just held James’ arm in hope that they’d be together.
“Marlene Mckinnon, Mary Macdonald, Lily Evans and Amelia Bones!”
“Fuck no.” Emmeline whispers, squeezing Amelia’s hand, who shoots her a sad smile before whispering ‘it’s fine’ and walking towards Marlene, who stood where McGonagall told her to.
The second and third cabin was filled, and then Hagrid called again.
“Emmeline Vance, Sybill Trelawney, Tessie Talpin, Rosemary Yownie!”
“Great,” Peter grunts, “you stay with my girlfriend, but I don’t.”
“Sorry, Pete. Not my choice,” she taps his shoulder, and walks away.
“Kingsley Shacklebolt, Fabian Prewett, Lynn Falcon and George Forn.”
“Hell no!” Shacklebolt yells, “I’m not staying with Forn.”
“Well, in that case, do you want to change groups?”
“Yes.”
“No, George does,” Lynn suggests.
“That is not how it works,” Hagrid states, “If Mr.Shacklebolt is unhappy, he is the one changing groups.”
“It’s okay,” George finally speaks for himself. Suddenly Sirius realises he has never heard him speak, “I’ll change.”
“Alright then, go back to your classmates,” Hagrid points at the rest of the students, looks back to the list, and then says, “James Potter.”
“No!” Sirius grips on his friend’s arm, “Please, Hagrid. Please, no!”
“I want to stay with him,” James’ voice is calm, “Please. Can I stay with Sirius? I don’t want to go.”
Hagrid takes a deep breath, shaking his head softly before searching for another name. Sirius jumps into place, bringing a relieved James with him.
“I’d go insane if I had to share a cabin with Shacklebolt.”
“Did you see his face when Hagrid called you? His life was sucked out of his body,” he giggles.
“So was mine. Are you kidding?”
12 more irrelevant names, and some changes of groups after, it comes:
“James Potter, Gideon Prewett… Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.”
“Fuck yes!” Sirius celebrates, jumping onto Peter to ruffle his hair as the boy laughs beneath him, “Suck it, fuckers! We got the best group this trip will ever see!”
“Oh my God, Black. Shut up,” Mulciber comments from behind him, but Sirius can’t bring himself to care.
He’d be sharing a room with James and Peter. Lily might not be there with them as initially planned, but he wouldn’t be tolerating a week away from his best mates, and that was good enough.
“I love you, Hagrid,” James puts his hands together, “I would kiss you if you weren’t so bloody tall. Write that down.”
The man smiles softly at the boy who was pulling Sirius by one hand. Peter gives Hagrid a thumbs up, and happily follows his friends to the separated groups waiting for the permission to go find their cabins.
Names keep being called, until Hooch blows her whistle. They still, and wait. Lupin is beside her. Hands on his back and his lip sucked in.
“You are 65,” she begins, “And there are 16 cabins only. Mr.Lupin needs a cabin to stay, and we’re giving you the opportunity to choose, since he declined that offer himself.”
“Here!” Kingsley immediately yells, “Here, Remus stays with us.”
“A hundred percent no!” Hudson laughs.
“If you have a problem, leave.”
“We’re already a group. I don’t want him here.”
“Why the fuck not?!”
“Boys!” McGonagall cuts them off, “If you don’t want to choose, I’m choosing.”
Please, please, please, please.
“God, if he stays with us…”
“There are like 15 other groups. 14 if you exclude Fabian’s,” Peter whispers in reassurance.
“Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Prewett,” fuck, “Lupin will be staying with you.”
She grabs his shoulder, pushing him towards them. Lupin stills, looking over his shoulder like he didn’t want to go himself.
Sirius feels his stomach sinking, and he shoots Peter a look.
“Okay, maybe I spoke too soon.”
“No, no, no, no.”
“Don’t,” James holds Sirius’ arm once his voice starts increasing, “say anything. Lily will literally skin you alive if you say no.”
“But Jamie–” he whines.
“I know,” he replies, “It’ll be alright.”
“Can I change groups?”
“Are you absolutely nuts, Sirius?!” Peter slaps his shoulder, “we got lucky and you want to throw it away just because you don’t like Lupin?”
“He’s a pretentious little boy. He stole our Lily, remember?”
“He didn’t steal anyone,” he argues, “Lily can be friends with anyone she wants.”
“But–”
his voice is cut off by the warm presence of Remus Lupin. He straightens his back, glancing at him up and down. Lupin sucks his lips in, hands hidden inside his pockets as he nods in one motion, shifting between the boys.
“Don’t be a prick,” James whispers in his ear.
“Kill me.”
“Hi, Lupin,” Peter smiles at him.
“Hi.”
He feels the earth shaking at the low, husky sound. Lupin doesn’t speak much — at least around Sirius. The few times they’d been close enough, he’d just be standing next to Lily, either ignoring Sirius or staring at him, waiting for him to leave.
“Welcome to our group.”
“I– I mean we’re just going to sha—” he takes a deep breath, “thank you.”
“Hey there,” James stretches his hand for Lupin to take. The boy shakes it softly before withdrawing it back into his pockets, “I don’t think we’ve spoken much. It’s a shame, Lily should’ve introduced us properly.”
“Yeah,” he nods, “She– she speaks a lot about you, though.”
“Considering we’ve known each other since kindergarten,” Sirius puts on a petty smile, “it’d be weird of her not to.”
Lupin’s eyes fall on him as if he has just taken notice of his presence — Sirius wants to punch him.
How could he?
‘She speaks a lot about you, though.’
Of course she does! They’re her best friends, not him.
“Yes, I’m aware. I’m glad this means we can all get to know each other, then.”
“Oh, yes,” Sirius says in a breathy laugh, “It’ll be a blast,” he feels James’ hand wrapping around his waist to give it a harsh squeeze. He tenses up, biting his tongue to stop himself from cursing at him. Lupin’s eyes fall to James’ hold, “Welcome, Lupin.”
“Thanks, Black.”
Sirius raises his eyebrows at the way his name left his lips — slow, hesitantly. Almost like he was making fun of him, but wasn’t sure if he should.
Then, his attention is on Gideon. The ginger boy is reaching for his hands, laughing softly, “At least you have me,” he hears his whisper.
“Save me,” Lupin whispers back, and Sirius wonders if they’re aware that he can perfectly hear them.
So the hate is mutual.
‘Save me’
Sirius wants to wrap his hands around his neck and squeeze it until he’s out of breath. Nasty little boy.
He has no idea how Lily can even be friends with him. Does she know that Remus is begging his friend to ‘save him’ from her best friends?
He looks at Peter, who doesn’t look bothered. Maybe he didn’t even listen. James’ hands leave Sirius’ waist, and wides his eyes at him.
“Did you hear him?” he mouths.
“What?”
“He said ‘save me’! He’s the worst, I’m telling you.”
“You scared him off!”
“I did not.”
“Alright kids. Follow me in group order so we can assign you the correct cabins. Remember that we don’t want anyone sneaking into each other’s rooms!” the groups form a line behind the teachers, following them inside the camp.
“Like they’ll even know,” Sirius whispers in James' ear, hands on his shoulders as he walks behind him.
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They got the 10th cabin. It was way too far from the rest of his friends’ cabins, staying a bit more far away into the woods, but closer to the cafeteria, so there’s that.
McGonagall stated that they’d be giving them a tour around the camp once they had settled in, and given the beauty of the surroundings, Sirius wanted it to come as quickly as possible. He wanted to see more of it. All he had caught was the wooden comfortable cabins placed around a big bonfire with trails to every place of the camp.
There were signs, pointing exactly where they could find the cafeteria, the lake, the showers…
He could see places for activities like archery and horseshoes.
Sharing a cabin with Remus Lupin was awful, but at least he’d have fun outside.
“This place is nice,” James points out once the lights are turned on.
Everything is made of wood, and there’s a wide window in between the two bunk beds. On their left, there’s a door that leads to the bathroom.
It was small, empty, and it lacked colour, — not that white and blue was a bad mix — but Sirius couldn’t expect more for a camp.
“I’m surprised if this bed doesn’t break as soon as I lay in it,” he puts his bags on top of the left bed. There’s a loud squeak, and Sirius grimaces.
“I’ll be taking the upper bed,” James throws his bags up, taking advantage of his height.
“There’s only 4 beds,” Gideon points out.
Sirius rolls his eyes, “Uh– yeah, no shit Gid. Hooch said that from the very beginning.” He sits on the bed. One more squeak.
“I’ll sleep on the floor, Rem,” he says, and Lupin shakes his head.
“No, it’s okay. I’m the one who invaded the group.”
“Don’t be stupid. I have a sleeping bag.”
“You brought a sleeping bag to a camp you knew had cabins in?”
“I’m not speaking to you, James,” he states, and James is raising his eyebrows before walking towards the bedroom.
Gideon wasn’t the nicest person out there. Although Fabian’s twin, he’d always been more avid than him. That wasn’t bad, though. Sirius really liked Gideon, and talked to him a lot — didn’t even make sense for him to be that close with Lupin. They didn’t even make a good match.
“Gid, take the bed.”
“No, you take it.”
“Please.”
“While you two keep bickering, I’ll take the top bed,” Peter does the same as James, and climbs the ladder. He kicks his shoes off, letting them hit the floor beneath him.
Sirius’ eyes linger on Gideon and Lupin as they try to convince the other to take the bed. It goes on for a couple more seconds, until Lupin is snapping Gideon’s bag off his hand. His veins pop a bit at the effort he puts in, and Sirius observes the frustration in his face. Eyebrows pressed together and jaw tensing softly.
Easily annoyed, isn’t he?
“I’m staying on the floor, now shut your mouth, will you?”
“Fine, okay. I’ll take the bed.”
“Good.”
Sirius’ body weight is holding on his elbows as he watches Lupin zip the bag open, crouching and rolling his sleeves up as searches for the sleeping bag, before letting it on the floor next to him. Then, a pillow is out, too, and he’s returning Gideon’s bag.
His eyes are then on Sirius, but it doesn’t stay there for long. Just as he notices he’s already staring, his head is being immediately turned around.
Sirius separates his lips and shoots his eyes up. Lily couldn’t possibly be friends with someone who hates Sirius this much. It didn’t make sense. Lily had always fought anyone who dared open their mouth to insult any of her friends — she was way too protective.
Then, it clicks. She doesn’t know. Lupin hasn’t told her, because he knows she’d be mad — he hates her friends, but he likes her. Therefore, he keeps it a secret, in hope that slowly but surely, she’ll stop hanging out with them.
“Lads,” Peter clears his throat. Phone is hands and a frown on his face, “is there even internet in this place?”
“Why?” Sirius asks, but Remus cuts him off with the answer.
“We are way too far from the city. Maybe there will be very poor signal, but I don’t think you’ll be able to use your mobile data while you’re here.”
“That makes sense,” he mumbles, “Fuck I should’ve thought this through. How am I gonna text Syb?”
“You’ll literally see her everyday,” James laughs as he leaves the bathroom, “This bathroom sucks, by the way,” he points his thumb to the door.
“Does it?”
“Yeah, I think I might get an infection for peeing in there.”
Lupin shifts uncomfortably, placing his bags against the wall, “That’s a bit mean, James,” he finally says, “This place is clearly taken care of. People spend their summers here. It’s not a 5 star hotel, so it won’t look like one. Saying that something is dirty just because it looks poor is… not nice.”
Silence fits the room like a glove on a winter day. Except it feels nothing but awkward.
James blinks slowly at Lupin, nodding carefully.
“Don’t be so pressed, Lupin,” Sirius gets on his feet, “It’s a camp.”
“I just said– whatever.”
“No, speak. I want to hear you.”
“I’m not pressed. I just think that just because a place doesn’t look like a manor, it doesn’t mean it’s dirty. Some people have worse conditions at home.” He softly kicks the sleeping back, taking a deep breath before crossing his arms, “You knew that this was a camp. If you wanted the comfort of your own home, you could’ve stayed there.”
Sirius’ lips softly raise, and he’s looking at Lupin up and down. He should’ve known he’d be the kind of boy to make everything an issue, considering by the way he acts and dresses.
Freshly cut mullet, so many piercings in his ear Sirius couldn’t even count them. Baggy dirty blue jeans, basic white shirt and a grandpa wool orange cardigan, filled with unmatched patches.
Sirius sighs, before sitting aggressively on the squeaky bed, “Are you going to tell me this bed isn’t awful?” he asks, wiggling his hips to get more sounds out of it.
“I’m just saying it won’t hurt to spend a week out of your privileges.”
“My privileges?!” he snaps.
“Boys– boys. Stop that,” Peter grunts from his bed, “C’mon. Can we not fight?”
“Oh, no, Pete. I’m not fighting. I just want Lupin here to tell me why he thinks he knows about my life, since y’know, he’s calling me privileged.”
Lupin laughs at that, rolling his eyes before taking off his stupid cardigan and placing it on top of his black bags. Sirius waits for him to say something, to carry on with his wise empty words.
“I’m going outside,” he says, eventually, “are you coming, Gid?”
Gideon’s eyes wander between James, Sirius and Remus, and then he’s standing up. Traitor.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
“My privileges…” he mumbles once he’s alone with his friends, “what does he even know about me?!”
“Don’t beat yourself over it, mate,” James sighs, “they can’t take a fucking comment. Someone will always make trouble out of everything you say.”
“Like we can’t complain about how noisy this goddamn bed is.”
“And how that bathroom is falling apart,” James comments, “It doesn’t even have a shower?!”
“That’s because the showers are outside, James,” Peter replies, “I saw the directions, did you not?”
“What directions?”
“Next to the bonfire, dumbass,” Sirius kicks James’ leg, “Perhaps you need new glasses?” he crooks his head in a grin, and James rolls his eyes, flipping him off.
“Yeah, ha-ha, make fun of my disability.”
“I’m not!”
“Take a joke, Prongs.”
He knew James wasn’t mad, not really. Even when he’s rolling his eyes, Sirius could see the phantom of a smile on his plump lips. The boy shakes his head, before sitting next to Sirius, “So, what do we do now?”
“Wait until someone calls us.”
“There’s nothing to do in here,” he groans, carefully laying on the bed to prevent himself from aggressively hitting his head on the wall, “Signal’s off, so we don’t have phones. I doubt there’s board games in here.”
“I’m not playing monopoly,” Sirius states, pointing his finger at James, “You can cross that from your list.”
“Shall we go outside, then? See things around until everyone’s settled?”
Sirius looks at Peter, searching for an answer. The boy gulps softly, and then shrugs, crawling on the small bed to get down the ladder.
“Let’s go, then. Nothing to do in this small little cabin,” Sirius exhales dramatically as he stands up, opening his arms, “The world is ours for a week, lads. We shall take advantage of it and see nature!”
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Maybe he should’ve stayed in the comfort in own home. The midday sun was burning bright against his black hair, his black clothes, and he felt himself burning. Sweat was dripping down his forehead as he, James and Peter walked around the camp, picking up some flowers and waving at Pomfrey standing by the showers every now and then, to make sure she knew they were alright.
Eventually his legs give up, far too sore from the sun. He lets his body rest underneath a tree’s shadow.
1 x 0 for Lupin.
He watches Peter and James fighting with sticks they had found on the floor, actively pretending to be warriors in a war. James is embarrassingly losing — he’s faster than Peter, but has the worst strategies ever. He lacks the mentality equations Peter did to stop his stick from hitting him, and eventually, James is disarmed. Stick against his throat and his hands up. They chuckle at each other before Peter says: “You owe me two grand.”
“Yeah, sure Pete. I’ll give you access to my father’s bank account.”
“Brilliant,” he shines a grin at James, before sitting next to Sirius, slowly poking at the dirt beneath their legs with the stick still in hand.
“I hate summer,” Sirius throws a completely unrelated comment, that makes James frustratedly groan at him. James is a summer child.
“Summer is amazing,” he says, although his face is pink and sweaty. Sirius can see the dark stains coming from his armpits, and then laughs.
“Sure, Prongs. You’re clearly not melting under this deadly Sun.”
“What? Winter’s better?” he raises an eyebrow, letting his body fall in front of his friends. He crosses his legs, and supports his weight on his hands behind his body.
“Clearly.”
“You’re wrong,” Peter chants, “Spring is the best. It’s not freezing cold nor hell on earth. It’s the perfect temperature to go on with your life.”
Sirius gives him an upside down thumb, imitating the incorrect buzzers from TV contests, “Spring is unstable.”
“So are you, Pads.”
“Piss of, Wormtail,” he grabs a bit of dirt, throwing it against his friend, who raises his hands to protect himself.
“Behave, boys,” McGonagall steps in their sight.
“Sorry, ma’am,” Sirius says, although hiding a proud grin when he sees Peter’s sandy blonde hair filled with dirt. The boy shakes his head in order to get it out.
“It was them, not me. I’m being perfectly behaved as usual, Minnie.”
McGonagall squints at James, and then takes a deep breath. Hands in front of her body, “Lunch is about to start. You might want to get yourselves going to the cafeteria or… to the showers.”
“Are you insinuating we’re dirty?!” Peter counters, earning chuckles from Sirius and James.
“No,” she shakes her head. Sirius knows she’s lying.
They are dirty. Sirius could feel sweat dripping like water on his forehead, and James looked like he had run a marathon. His fault, really, for wearing a polo shirt under this Sun.
“I could take a shower, actually.” Sirius stands up, slapping dirt off his trousers, “Oh, while we’re here: where do we wash our clothes?”
“The laundry stays inside the shower room.”
“Brilliant. I love you, Minnie,” he grabs her shoulders in a wide grin, before pressing a kiss against her cheek. The woman freezes, pressing her lips together in disbelief as he shrugs happily, walking away from her and his friends.
That woman has known him ever since he was just a small child learning how to put 1 + 1 together. She was made of iron, a heart far too cold to touch, but Sirius knows he has got a sweet spot inside her. He can tell by her eyes, and the way she speaks to him — she was like a mother to him. It was hard to wrap his head around the idea of not having her around after next week.
Something in his stomach twists, but Sirius shakes his head as he walks towards his cabin, the path too unique to forget. That’s a good thing about having one of the farthest cabins in the camp.
He grabs the wood pillar to take a deep breath once his head is out of the Sun’s warmth, and he lets himself get used to the ache. His hand touches the top of his hair, and he grimaces at the hotness — he’d surely steal one of Peter’s hats.
He opens the door, hoping for the cabin to be left for the flies and mosquitoes. Instead, he finds Lupin leaning against the wall, window open and cigarette between his lips. Sirius freezes, and when Lupin takes in his presence, he’s throwing the fag out of the window, coughing the smoke out and shaking his hand to shoo the smell.
He chuckles.
Wow.
Remus Lupin was sneaking cigarettes into a camp. That’s something new.
Sirius’ head falls to the side, and he slowly closes the door behind him. Lupin couldn’t even still his looks, wandering his eyes around the room, and hands burying themselves in his pockets — he notices he does that a lot.
“What happened to the ‘no pollution’ rule?” he teases, and Lupin coughs uncomfortably.
“Don’t tell anyone,” he asks, finally looking at Sirius.
His eyes are lighter under the Sun coming through the window, and his scars are far more visible. All of them fading away, but still far too present in his face. Way too deep to ever disappear.
Sirius has no idea why he has scars on his face, or even his arms. He never asked Lily either, because it wasn’t his place to have such private information about someone he didn’t talk to.
“Mmm,” he walks towards Lupin. The boy straightens his back as Sirius holds the edges of the window, looking down at the grass, “won’t you start a fire by throwing the fag in there? We’re surrounded by plants and shit, I mean.” His eyes are then on Lupin, the boy licks his lips, and looks to where Sirius was previously observing.
“Er– Uh– no. No, uhm, the cigarette will burn itself eventually. It’s not like it was before. They actually changed that because of the amount of fires that happen when people throw them out of their cars while driving down an empty road surrounded by forests and all. So– yeah, no harm done.”
“Actually, harm is done,” Sirius steps away, swinging Lupin a smile, “Because you’re polluting the earth. The cigarette will stay there, nicotine burned or not burned. You’re still affecting the environment.”
He nods carefully, “Yes, you’re right.”
“I know,” he whispers, shrugging in a victorious smile.
“Uh– can you… not tell people about this, please?” he asks after seconds of silence. Sirius is opening his bag, pulling clothes out in order to find a better outfit for this weather. He lifts his head, shoving his hair off his face, “I– no one knows— that I smoke.”
“Not even Lily?” he frowns, and Lupin softly shakes his head.
“She hates that stuff. I don’t want to disappoint her.”
“I know she does,” his voice is sharp. Sirius knows Lily. He knows how she once slapped a cigarette off James’ hand before he even got the chance to light it, and proceeded to warn him about cancer and all the collateral effects of nicotine. He knows Lily hates smoking, and that she only tolerated weed because Peter uses it far too much, so she eventually gave up on it. He knows all about Lily. Lupin doesn’t need to tell him anything.
“Don’t tell anyone,” he asks again, and Sirius groans, throwing his head back.
“I won’t snitch on you, Lupin. I know how to keep a secret.”
“Thank you.”
After that, Lupin returns to his quiet self. He looks out of the window, foot drumming against the floor. As Sirius enters and leaves the bathroom, putting some clothes in front of his body to see if it fits him, Lupin walks towards Gideon’s bed, sitting there. It’s sort of awkward. Sirius would catch Lupin staring at him, and then he’d look back at his feet — Sirius wanted to ask if he didn’t have anything better to do.
The boy sighs, collecting his hair in his hand and pulling it up. Sighing in frustration before letting it fall on his shoulders again.
He has two options for the top: a dark blue tank top that definitely looks perfect on him. It was tight, and his waist was absolutely gorgeous in it. However, on the other hand, he has a brown ‘I LOVE NY’ shirt. It wasn’t true. Sirius hated the USA. Yet, it was easy to style.
“The blue one,” he hears the now familiar, husky voice, and turns his head around, eyebrows up in some sort of shock.
“Excuse me…?”
“Uh– you–“ his hand reaches the back of his neck, and then he laughs quietly, dropping it back on his lap, “You look indecisive. I’m just saying that the blue one is prettier.”
Sirius bites the inside of cheek, and returns to the shirts on his bed. Lupin is right. Again.
The blue tank top was prettier, and Sirius felt better in it. But would he give Lupin the satisfaction of being right once again? Never.
His hands wrap around the stupid ‘I LOVE NY’ shirt, and grabs the black sports shorts he stole from Marlene last month. When he looks back at Lupin, the boy is carefully blinking at him, and then biting his lips before he looks away once again.
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