Chapter 08
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Subject: Getting Lost
Dear R,
Not only did I seem happy to discover that you are, in fact, a botanist, but I was truly happy because I enjoy learning more about you. Now, about what kind of project you are working on… You had three guesses, and I still won’t say whether you got it right or not, but we’ll get there. So, I’ll take three guesses too: are you working with the conservation of ancient species, historical garden preservation, or ethnobotany?
You are special, R, more special than I can put into words.
You telling me that you have a tooth gap made me even more eager to see your smile, it seems so charming. You seem so charming.
Well, now about the story… if it were a book I had found in the library when I was younger, I think the ending would be when the characters finally met in person. It would be a delicate scene where all the waiting would translate into anxious steps toward each other, and then they would embrace and be in awe because, damn, they are real, they exist, and they had the blessing of existing in the same universe, at the same time, and finding each other. There would be so much mutual gratitude because they found something genuine, something true, and they would know they would carry it for life. If the characters in this book had our initials, I’d say that in the adventure of a fearless adolescence, with only the certainty of the glory of friendship, they would carve A + R into some random book, and one day someone would find that book without knowing what those two letters meant, but they would know, they would always know. And so would we.
And you, what do you think?
I also feel like we’re heading in new directions with these emails. Even though I don’t know exactly where, I’m not alarmed because we’re going together.
Did I make you blush? Wow, I didn’t know I had that effect on you. Good to know.
Keep smiling, R, keep repeating it as many times as you want. I’ll keep imagining you smiling with your tooth gap and picturing your cinnamon-colored eyes lighting up.
I agree that saying someone has a kind soul is not something people say often. But yes, R, you have a kind soul, and I notice it every time you write to me. You carry it in the way you express yourself, in the way you answer my questions and ask me others, in the way you fill my days even from so far away, and in how you make me feel so close to you. So, if no one has ever told you this before, I’m happy to be the first, and I hope these words stay with you.
Feel hugged by me too, R. Always.
About what you said regarding living in the same city and possibly having crossed paths without realizing it, I don’t think it’s unlikely. I mean, it might have happened or it might not have. Who knows? But honestly, I don’t get nervous thinking about it, I mean, about the possibilities of missed encounters. New York has millions of people, and yet, you found that book, and you decided to write to me. It happened the way it was meant to because it was meant to be you, R.
I like to think that everything happens at the right time. That’s the magic of encounters, you know? It doesn’t matter what path we took before or the detours along the way, what matters is that we found each other. We never have to think about the “What ifs...?” because you and I are here, now. Maybe this is what they call fate, or maybe it’s the universe showing that even if we once missed each other, unaware of one another, something would have put us on the right path again. Maybe some call it coincidence or others call it luck, but I like to think it’s just the nature of things, weaving the right threads at the exact moment.
So, my dear R, it’s not strange to think that, but I hope your heart finds peace in the certainty that we are coexisting in the same moment, and that I am sure our paths would have intertwined one way or another. But I’m glad it happened this way.
I feel like we have many chapters to write together from now on.
Now, about your guesses: You got it right! I am a translator, but my focus is on ancient texts and books, so I don’t just work with mere translation but also with historical, cultural, and philosophical context. I started working at a small publishing house in New Jersey, stayed there for a few years, but I wanted more. Then, my former boss recommended me for a research job a few years ago, and that was a turning point for me. I moved to New York, and well, now I’m here. This is a new project for me, it’s the first time I’ve "moved" to another country, now fully immersed in the culture.
If you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them.
And please, you have to show me a picture of you in the dinosaur costume one day, and to be honest, I hope that day is not too far away. Though I’m sorry the outfit itches a bit, but those are the hazards of the trade, my dear R.
About your siblings, it must have been so much fun growing up in a family like yours, especially as the youngest. Honestly, I love when you talk about your family, and now knowing about your siblings, I love it even more. But I have to say something... I’m so curious about your names. I’ve been thinking, do you think we can go a little longer without revealing our names? I feel like I like getting to know you this way, but I understand if you want to satisfy your curiosity soon, because even though I enjoy the way we’re progressing, I am so curious to know, especially now that you’ve mentioned your siblings. But I’ll let you decide, we can do it however you prefer, R.
One day, I want to see a picture of the orange van too. I really loved that, truly.
I'm so captivated by your story. Honestly, every single thing that I get to know about you truly mesmerizes me. It must have been quite a childhood, surrounded by love and so many adventures. I was so happy reading about that treasure hunt and how it ended in the most special way possible.
I assume your bond with your siblings is as strong today as it was on the day they faced the "monster" for you, right?
And it made me smile to know that you saw the deer a few more times before the end of the trip, but no one revealed that it had been the source of the forest noise. It was special that your siblings acted that way, and everyone seemed to understand that. That is truly beautiful, R, and yes, you answered my question in the best possible way. Thank you for that.
If it’s not too much to ask, share more stories with me, I’d love to know.
And also, tell me about your niece’s party, I want to know if anyone got scared of R, the dinosaur.
As for me, I took the bus here for the first time, which turned out not to be a great idea because I got off at the wrong stop and had to walk for 20 minutes. I mean, I could have taken the subway since I had missed my stop, but I guess I’m a little stubborn, so I decided to walk.
I went to Petit Palais, and wow, what a charming place. It was so nice to visit a museum, without rushing, at my own pace. I’m sharing with you a picture of one of the artworks that caught my attention the most. It’s called "Le Sommeil", which was translated as "The Sleepers", but it’s also known as "Les Deux Amies", which means "The Two Friends". It was amazing to see the painting that was inspired by the short story "Delphine et Hippolyte" by Charles Baudelaire.
I had a good day, despite the confusion with the bus. On the way back, I got it right, so it’s fine, I guess it’s part of the experience.
Did you mean to say that I’m an angel? Well, now you’re the one making me blush, R.
A.
P.S. Hey, wait a second, you can’t steal the name Scratchy from me.
P.P.S. Good to know that blue is your second favorite color, R.
P.P.P.S. About the Christmas sweater, okay, I’ll wear one this year. Maybe you’ll even see me in it, who knows… Now, I have one more question: what’s your favorite book? I find it curious that we haven’t asked each other this before, considering how we got here.
*
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Subject: Falling at a birthday party
Dear A,
Ding ding ding!!! Once again, you were right.
I am working on a historic garden preservation project. Right now, I'm focused on the preservation of the Greenwood Cemetery garden in Brooklyn. I don’t know if you know, but the idea behind the gardens in this cemetery, since its conception in 1838, was for the gardens to stand out from the others, and obviously, we are going to keep it that way. That’s what caused that stressful meeting that day, remember? There’s this guy on the team who thinks we should modernize the structure of the gardens, but I think he doesn’t know the meaning of the word “preservation.” I mean, it’s not just about keeping a garden alive, but also maintaining the idea and the meaning, you know?
If you think my smile should be charming, I wish you could see how I'm smiling right now, because of you.
I liked the hypothetical ending of the book. I think my ending wouldn’t be very different from that, but I think I’d like to see more, you know? Or at least know how it would turn out. When the fervor of adolescence ends, where would they go? However, I agree, it would be for the rest of their lives. Who knows, maybe they would end up exploring the world together, but with a little corner to call their own. There are many possibilities, and I like knowing what comes next.
About the initials, we would definitely know. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll write our initials in some random book, it would be nice not knowing where it is but knowing that someone, somewhere, will find it and maybe wonder who we are, what we’re like, where we are. Or maybe not, maybe it’s just two letters scribbled on a page with a pen, but in the end, we would always know.
Yes, you made me blush. I think you have more of an effect on me than I even realize.
I’ll keep smiling, A, not just because you asked, but because I can’t help but smile while reading your words.
The idea that we have the opportunity to give something to each other for the first time is comforting. Trust, words, a new way of being seen... I like the idea of offering you, for the first time, something unprecedented from my side, and I like even more knowing that you are giving me the same in return. If I had a glass in my hand right now, I would raise it in a toast to us and to all the first times we still have to give each other something.
With that said, I must tell you that your words about how our paths crossed gave me a new sense of peace. You’re right, I shouldn’t worry about a scenario where we don’t meet, but at the same time, I can’t help but feel the idea of a reality where we don’t know each other. I think I would miss you, even without knowing you.
Whatever it is, fate, coincidence, luck, or the universe, I will make a solemn thank you to whoever is listening. I am grateful for you, A.
So, with that, I choose to trust. I choose to believe that, whatever moves the world, fate, chaos, or whatever it is, brought us to each other because that’s how it was meant to be. It seems like a good idea to rest my heart in that certainty.
A, your work is amazing. You seem so smart. I mean, I know you are, I noticed that the moment I found your notes in that book, and by the way, your handwriting is beautiful. But reading about your work now makes me think I had no idea just how amazing you are. I’m happy you’ve taken another important step in your career.
Now, I do have a question. I assume you speak French, it seems obvious. In fact, that is, indeed, charming. But I’m curious to know how Paris ended up being the destination, after all.
Prepare yourself for the day you see my picture in that costume, m'lady, it will be the best thing your eyes have ever seen.
About my family, yes, our bond is extremely strong. It truly was quite a childhood. I think it was the best time of my life, not having worries was so great, but I like my life as it is now. Of course, I miss some things we no longer have, like our summer camping trips, but my parents still have the orange van, it’s just retired now, but we have other traditions that remain to this day, like the bracelets we make. It was a tradition that started somewhat unintentionally, but when we realized, it had already become part of us.
You remember I told you that my sister and my dad made a flower crown in the forest for me, right? My sister has always been very creative, and one Christmas, she decided she would make bracelets for all of us, and my siblings and I loved the idea. On Christmas Day, we had made more bracelets than we should have, and my parents found it hilarious and ended up putting some on our Christmas tree, which, by the way, already had more ornaments than it should have.
Since then, every Christmas, each of us makes a bracelet and puts it on the tree. Even if we don’t spend every Christmas together, it’s as if we’re not really far apart. We always try to see each other, but not every year is possible, life happens, we moved, but a simple bracelet has a different meaning for us.
I think you’ll like to know this since you love Christmas so much.
Now, about our names, honestly, I feel like we don’t need to rush, A. Although I’m also very curious to know yours, and maybe I’ll be thinking about names that match you, I don’t mind waiting a little longer.
As for my siblings’ names, I think it’s fine for you to know, actually, I’ll be happy for you to know. So here it is, another first thing from me to you.
My siblings’ names are Sirius, Solano, and Calypso.
I’d love to see your face right now as you read their names, but please, share all the comments you have here.
I just realized you asked for another story, and I ended up sharing a tradition of ours with you. But two is better than one, right?
You said you think my bond with my siblings is strong even today, and you’re right. My sister lives the closest, less than an hour away, but we all talk all the time. Dialogue have always been very important to us, and I think I’ll always be grateful to my parents for encouraging us to trust each other so much, showing us that family should always support family.
I was 14 when I truly understood that I liked other girls. But I only spoke to my siblings about it a year later. I remember the day I decided to tell them, I spent about 10 minutes walking back and forth outside my sister’s room after asking them all to go there because I needed to tell them something. Thinking about it, I can almost hear Solano’s voice saying I was going to make a hole in the floor if I kept going that way.
The twins were leaving home that month, they were going to college, and everything was going to be different, and I didn’t want them to leave without knowing a part of me.
When I entered the room, all three pairs of eyes were on me, but there was no rush, no judgment, just a kindness I only recognized in my parents’ eyes. I sat on the edge of the bed, and I remember staying silent for a few seconds before Calypso put her hand over mine, and she gave a small smile as if to say “It’s okay, you can trust us.” And then I spoke.
It wasn’t anything like I had rehearsed, and believe me, I went over in my mind so many times what I would say to them. But the moment I opened my mouth, the words didn’t come out like the lines I had created in my mind, because it wasn’t supposed to be robotic, but from the heart, because that was us.
I barely had time to think about what to say next when Sirius, who was in the other corner of the bed, threw himself over all of us. We stayed there for a few minutes in a somewhat awkward hug, but it was ours. Afterward, they all said they loved me, and I cried, and of course, Solano told me to stop crying because I looked ugly when I cried, and I started laughing in the middle of the tears, knowing that was his intention.
That same night, I told my parents, and they stood by my side. Obviously, my parents said they already knew, and that for them, it was just one of the things they loved about me.
That night, we all slept in the twins' room, something we used to do when we were kids, and I felt like the luckiest person in the world. I miss that time, a lot, but it's nice to live other moments. Like my niece’s birthday, for example. We were all there, and looking at them, I couldn’t help but think of the story I shared with you, and now I’m glad you know a little more about them.
The birthday party was really nice, and I had a lot of fun. Sirius took lots of pictures of me, even when I fell because it's a bit difficult to walk in that costume. I hope to show you all of them one day.
Until I can, I’ll settle for showing you a picture of the van. The quality isn’t great, but it’s still special. You’ll notice a boy with his back to the camera, that’s Solano. I tried to find another photo just now, but this was the only one I could find.
As for your adventure to the museum, sometimes it’s nice to get lost out there, even in a new city. If you found your way back, that’s what matters. Did you use any GPS app? I even get lost with apps.
About the painting, it’s a beautiful piece. Now, about the name, well, they seem to be very good friends...
Joking aside, it’s truly a really incredible painting. I didn’t know it, nor the story that inspired it. Would you recommend the reading?
You’re kind of an angel, yes, A. And if I made you blush too, we can add that to our list of firsts.
R.
P.S. I’m ready to fight for the name of my future pet. You said you’re kind of stubborn, but I can be too.
P.P.S. I wonder what shade of blue your eyes are.
P.P.P.S. I’ll hold you to wearing the sweater. And about my favorite book, it’s definitely "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Eco. It was the first book I bought at a used book fair, I think that’s what made me love buying books that way. And yours, A?