Chapter 04
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Subject: Shared headaches
Dear R,
Knowing that my email made you happy makes me happy too. But if we’re sharing headaches, I think I need to apologize. This wasn’t exactly the type of connection I was hoping to create with you.
Yes, I wear glasses, especially when I’m reading or working. I actually like it, you know? But I usually don’t wear them outside of those moments. And yes, I had a good night’s sleep, I hope you did too. By the way, about your stressful day… is everything okay? I know how work problems can steal our peace of mind.
And we’re definitely in the same boat, R. Metaphorically speaking. But, let’s say the boat was real... where would our destination be?
(Was that a bad joke? I’m sorry, humor isn’t my strong suit.)
Hmm... so you think I’m a writer, huh? Well, no. But you’re right, I do work with books, so we could say it’s “something like that.”
How about if I send you a picture of the park along with a description? That way, you’ll get to see a bit of what my eyes can reach. But of course, only if you’d like. And the fact that spring is your favorite season doesn’t surprise me because I feel it suits you. I’d say mine is autumn, but maybe I’ll appreciate spring more this time…
And yes, three months, I’ll be back at the beginning of summer.
Mini R with her real clipboard, cataloging flowers... it’s a cute image to think about. About the drawings, you’ve always seen flowers in a special way and that alone says so much.
But really, what you told me here is something beautiful. Sometimes, for some people, it even goes unnoticed, but this is the second time you’ve mentioned your mom and how she encouraged you in things, not seeing them as just child’s play… but something that was important to you. And that says so much. There’s beauty in how childhood fascinations can shape the paths we follow later on. I think it means you knew how to water the seed, and your mom held your hand through the process, guiding you. Maybe dreams are like plants after all, creating roots and growing with us.
I feel like you had a good childhood.
I didn’t know the scientific name of sunflowers, sorry, flowers aren’t my thing... I also didn’t know that sunflowers are connected to loyalty and adoration, but now that I do, it makes so much sense. And I agree that, yes, in a way, we’re all seeking the light, even if in our own way.
I know azaleas, but I'm not so familiar with cyclamen... and that was my way of saying I don’t know them at all. But I imagine the Greeks were right in seeing them this way.
And roseandthemoon is a combination of two poems I love, they’ve been the ones that have spoken the most to my heart for so long. Ah, the identification... Anyway, they are "The Sick Rose" by William Blake and "The Moon and The Yew Tree" by Sylvia Plath. Please, if you look them up, let me know what you think.
You know what I realized? I have a flower in my name here. An amusing coincidence because now flowers remind me of you. Any special curiosity about roses?
I sing at karaoke!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not a professional, obviously, but I must say I’m quite good, thank you very much. And about you saying you’re horrible at it, I confess it made me laugh, but I think karaoke is about having fun, no matter how off-key you are (not that I am, by the way). And it’s okay, I forgive you for the 2000s pop songs, some do have their value.
My favorite song to sing at karaoke is definitely Listen to Your Heart by Roxette. One time, some people clapped for me so much I thought about investing in a music career. But tell me, what’s yours?
R, I’m the one who thanks you for writing to me and, in a way, continuing to hold my hand from the other side. I’ll start my day happy because you’re still here.
A.
P.S. My favorite color is purple. Not a light purple, but a dark one that you might almost mistake for blue at the peak of dawn. But I’d also say yellow is a color that makes me happy. I used to say that one day I’d have a house and paint a door yellow, after all, why not?
P.P.S. Do you have any pets?
*
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Subject: But shared thoughts as well
Dear A,
If we’re sharing headaches, I can promise you that mine have lessened a bit, so I hope yours have too. Maybe just the mind trying to calm down after a long day, but I’m fine now, thank you for asking. And yes, work can be stressful. Let’s just say I’m also involved in an important project, but having to collaborate with stubborn people... I’m not exactly the most patient.
Hey, I liked your joke about the boat. There’s charm in your humor, A. And I think, judging by the recent headaches, who knows, maybe our boat would dock on a small, quiet, beautiful, sunny island?
Okay... not a writer, but something like it. Noted, m'lady.
And A? I would love to see a picture of the park. Really, I think it would be so special to see what your eyes see, so many kilometers away.
Autumn and spring, funny that I’ve always thought they were complementary seasons, did you know? Sometimes I don’t make sense, but my mind always thought they had more similarities than people allowed themselves to see.
And the beginning of summer... I won’t forget that. Not at all.
Oh, and mini R, the little explorer, was definitely something.
I confess, I was touched by how you referred to what I shared here, and how you seemed to see so much in just a few words. It feels like something of yours... seeing beyond, I mean. And you’re right, the way my parents treated me with respect, encouraging me to follow the things that made me happy, definitely shaped who I am today. They always told me that if something made my heart beat faster, it was worth it. So yes, they helped water the seed, even without knowing if it would bear fruit, but they were there anyway. Thank you for recognizing this in me, in such a subtle way, but it touched me deeply. I think you picked up more than I even knew how to express.
I did have a very good childhood. Very colorful, even. My parents were quite eccentric. They still are. But back then, everything seemed more colorful, more intense, more vibrant.
And you, A, what were you like as a child? Tell me something about your childhood.
It’s no problem that you don’t understand plants, but you’re lucky to have such a great correspondent like me.
(Correspondent? Friend? Email buddy? What are we?)
I looked up both poems as soon as I read this email for the first time. I must say, I didn’t expect something so sad. I’m trying to choose my words carefully, after all, they’re two poems you love so much. I think there is beauty in the sadness portrayed in the verses of the poems, it’s a premeditated melancholy, it has a purpose to fulfill, but the analogy about the moon and the mother... it’s not just poetic sadness, right? There’s cruelty. Bitterness. Still, I read them again, and A? The rose in one of the poems might be sick, but you? You are here, and the invisible worm may have found that rose, but I found you.
Sorry... I’m not quite able to put my thoughts into coherent phrases.
Anyway. You asked me for a fun fact about roses... Did you know that some types of roses carry a kind of ‘memory’? They have the ability to adapt well, as if they have memories, as if they know what to do to survive. I think it’s a way of saying that we all have a quiet wisdom inside us, and despite the changes, we still find what’s needed to bloom.
And okay, karaoke lady, thank you for admitting I’m out of tune. I mean, you’re right about that, but still... But, also, thank you for excusing me for the 2000s pop music.
Listen to Your Heart is amazing, I’ve never sung it at karaoke, but if I did, unlike you, I think I’d get booed off the stage. By the way, for someone who said humor isn’t their strong point, you got more laughs out of me than you realize.
And Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. 100% my choice. Deal with it.
A, did you know the first thing I did today was open my email? I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.
R.
P.S. A yellow door is definitely something adorable. I liked the idea.
P.P.S. You’d be surprised to know how many animals I grew up with. Seriously, my parents had everything from chickens to, believe it or not, a tarantula. I don’t have any now, but I’d love to have a rabbit. How about you?