The sun hadn't really set, Bette could see it through the light pink curtains that were still dimly lit. Her room had a different smell, particular, unique, it wasn't like all the other mornings. But not like all the mornings of her life, because for years Bette had been able to savor the fragrance of that smell, that essence.
Of her.
Finally turning her eyes to her right Bette noticed that golden glimpse, like a meadow full of hay or better yet full of enormous sunflowers, that look at you, stare at you and make you feel serene, with their color, with their warmth, they tell you that you have hope, that everything is fine, that everything is positive.
Bette's lips unconsciously curved upwards and her eyes closed from the amazement of the serenity that struck her. Her heartbeat was like on vacation, finally stress-free, pain-free, it was smooth like water on the floor, like cream on the skin, the beat had become regular and that daily feeling of crumpling that had been a constant that morning had disappeared. In fact, Bette's heart had done a session of gymnastics and stretching during the night, it was smooth, elongated, wider, more capacious.
She licked her lips puckering as she stretched her legs toward the foot of the bed, the light blue sheets covering both of their bodies entirely.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
After taking her eyes off the figure next to her for more than a fraction of a second Bette turned her head again, but this time propping herself up on her elbows and sitting up as she ruffled her hair even more. Her curls were a mess this morning, and yet she had spent so much time on them the night before, but it didn’t really matter, not this morning.
Then her thoughts of the curls were drawn away from her, Tina. The way her mouth was half open and she was still breathing heavily unaware of who was watching her and how they were watching her, with what passion, what love. Bette smiled again, her body was naked, something she had rediscovered she liked, it had been over two years since Bette had slept completely naked and yet there she was....naked.
She sighed, stretching her arms upwards and then the need to use the bathroom forced her to get up and slide towards the armchair to retrieve her gray silk robe and go to the bathroom silently without waking her company.
She didn't waste any time, the shower lasted only a few minutes, she didn't want to waste any more moments of her life and even worse she didn't want Tina to wake up alone, not that morning. Bette remembered their move to NY, despite the promises, despite everything in the end they hadn't succeeded in their intent or rather, Bette hadn't made it, she had disappointed Tina's expectations and in the end she had ended up far away, cold, with problems everywhere just like she and Tina separated after the birth of Angelica.
The situation was salvageable for Bette, but not for Tina. She had exhausted her options.
When Bette returned almost like a ghost with her bathrobe into the bedroom, Tina was now lying on her back, she had moved slightly to the center of the bed, towards the brunette's side, she always did that, it was something inside her. Bette sat down again at the foot of the bed watching her, hugging her knees as she often did when she was thoughtful, she had happened to see Tina sleeping so often, she loved it, it was something that made her happy, knowing that Tina was there safe.
What a stupid sense of protection.
How could Tina really be there? The night before had been like this, unexpected, strange, wonderful even. A year had passed since they had both shouted their love to each other, since Tina had slipped out of Bette's door, leaving her devastated for the umpteenth time, without knowing how to fix it, if not cure herself, her lack of love for her person.
Then it all went by so fast, Bette faced the withdrawal, her mother and finally she confided it to the only person in the world who really meant something to her. Tina. A few tears crept behind her chocolate eyes, she tightened her throat and swallowed to try to keep her emotions at bay, maybe they would have been too much if Tina had opened her eyes in that moment and seen the mess that Bette had become.
Indeed, in recent years Bette had found a sense of acute sensitivity, which she had always known existed, but now without Tina it had increased. It had always been Tina who had made her strong, who had made her a powerful rock, since Tina was no longer there everything had shattered.
"What's wrong?"
The voice pulled her out of her thoughts, almost scaring her.
But the sight of those open eyes before her was enough to calm her down.
This was home.
Bette's smile spread more in her heart than on her face.
"So?"
That little voice came out again like a melody.
"Good morning sleepyhead..."
"Good morning..."
Tina said with her eyes closed, her hair now spread across Bette's pillow and no longer hers. The porcelain-white arms were out of the sheets, delicate, like two butterfly wings, the emptiness of the rings on her left hand was a relief for Bette, seeing that diamond that Carrie had given her, really made her stomach burn. Now she was free, her hand, as white as it had been created.
"You're scaring me..."
Bette shook her head as Tina turned on her side, her wrist under her cheek and looked at her beloved, studying her just like a few minutes ago Bette had done with her.
"Nothing should scare you... you've already known everything about me..."
Bette said with her usual irony that identified her. A moment of silence enveloped them.
"It's strange to see you here..."
"It's my home until proven otherwise..."
Bette laughed with her head thrown back even if she had understood Tina what she meant, but she liked that game, she had missed these moments, in addition to all the moments with her.
"How was it?"
Bette narrowed her eyes for a second, really processing what Tina was asking, without going into too much detail, she thought of the first thing that came to mind.
"Like a life that isn't yours...and you?"
"The same..."
Another silence enveloped them, but neither of them cared.
"that ring..."
Bette left the sentence hanging like that, watching Tina's reaction as she took it all in, they would have to talk, they knew it, but for now they would take small steps, already by confessing their feelings they had made progress. Tina absorbed that statement, she knew that Bette had suffered a hard blow with the engagement, not to mention that Tina had withdrawn from the wedding at the last minute. Her eyes softened without ever leaving Bette's.
"I don't want you to feel guilty anymore though...having you here makes up for everything..."
Bette whispered. Tina tried to reach out her hand to Bette's, a silent request for closeness, for contact, for something they had always needed.The brunette slid forward with her arm and body, her thin fingers finding the other white ones, squeezing in a firm promise. Now consolidated.Tina let out a light sigh, like a calm obtained only through that simple contact between them, their eyes stared at each other intensely, as if to rediscover or recognize each other.
After that moment Tina pulled Bette's hand slightly, bringing her even closer
"Why do you smell nice with your bathrobe and I still have our smell on me?"
Bette raised an eyebrow "Do you believe me if I tell you that it's been years since I slept naked... since you left..."
Tina frowned.
"You never liked it..."
"With you, yes..."
"Only with me then...and anyway, you often got dressed again...like now..."
Bette sighed "I'm not like I used to be, I told you..."
"Me neither.."
"Oh look at you, you're not even in less than a break and you're still so fiery..."
Tina raised a mischievous eyebrow
"Well then, you want to tell me that what you did was only because I turned you on? Because you know, sometimes I couldn't keep up with you."
She laughed, covering her eyes with her hand. That little sentence gave Bette a boost that she could still have any woman by her side, but with Tina she was always so insecure, fragile.
"that's my armor you know..."
"that's your secret weapon..."
"just that?"
Bette pushed herself even closer to Tina who was now rolled onto her back with one arm casually placed over her head, relaxed.
"no..it's your heart your secret weapon..."
That answer left Bette speechless, which was really strange, it always happened only with Tina, the genuineness of her woman to say nice things was something she loved. Like that time they went to the hospital and Angelica had a high fever, back in the car Tina told her that the thing she loved most about Bette was that soft part that almost no one could see, except her.
Bette lowered her eyes for a second, embarrassed by the comment, or maybe she was just processing.
"How many women have you shown the real you, Bette Porter?"
Tina smiled, she already knew the answer, as she raised herself on her elbows and pulled Bette up on top of her to get a better look, to be glued, attached as they needed. Bette without hesitation slid astride Tina, examining her eyes. Right, left. Right, left. Both lips parted, Bette's hair falling forward, rebellious. She brushed Tina's lips with hers delicately, her nose like a caress, she had a lump in her throat, again. Tina placed a hand under her throat, open, as she had the night before, almost on her heart so she could listen to it, capture it, she was still waiting for that answer.
"I've been waiting for you, to come out again..." Bette said in a thin voice "do you believe it?"
Tina swallowed "this is your secret weapon, very effective..."
Bette's gaze remained serious "this is the only truth...."
Bette whispered just in time before Tina grabbed her face to bring it to hers and join their lips.
The kiss was in slow motion, as if they were both savoring a chocolate dessert, a delicious cake, something rare. Bette bit Tina's chin quickly as she felt the blonde undo the belt of her bathrobe.
"Your hands... always skilled..."
"despite my age, you mean?"
They both giggled, that was one of those moments that Bette had not found with anyone, laughing, while making love was so rare, everyone was serious, even her, she didn't like to joke, she loved to finish the task. But now, in that precise moment she remembered how much she loved to joke, how much she and Tina laughed even when they were inside each other.
"No one can make me laugh while I'm in action Tina..."
The blonde laughed again this time even more heartily and Bette kissed every inch of her face, quickly, randomly, her mouth landing everywhere before returning to a knowing silence.
"I can do anything..."
Tina leaned over to whisper that sentence in the brunette's ear and shivered quite obviously.Bette closed her eyes and opened them again, a light caress ran along her bangs and then down her cheekbone and chin, Tina reached her lower lip, she admired that woman, so magical and mysterious, but also so readable.
"You can do anything..."
Bette whispered before kissing Tina's neck, almost ferociously, she meant what she said. She felt the robe fall from her shoulders, exposing her naked again as only a few hours before. Even the nudity with Tina was wonderful. In a few seconds Tina flipped her over and slipped between her legs with hers, pushing her hips into Bette's with a fluid movement.
"Hey..."
The brunette said with fake indignation and Tina kissed that slightly pouty lip.
"remember when we were mad...things weren't going well...and yet when we found ourselves making love it was always like this.. always magical."
"we almost forgot about the misunderstandings."
Bette finished Tina's thought as if she were simply reading it. Tina nodded silently, placing a kiss on Bette's lips. Both charged with tension they slowly moved their bodies on top of each other, hips swaying and Bette found herself slipping a leg between Tina's.
Without requests or anything else, with their eyes they were still able to understand each other's need, which was almost always the same.
Bette kissed Tina hard, swallowing her moans and whispers, whoever said that menopause was the grave of love was a fool. At least between her and Tina the sex had remained splendidly the same, despite
"You're going to kill me...."
Bette pulled away from the kiss, tilting her head to the side as Tina nipped her cheek and squeezed Bette's right breast with one free hand. The movements were slow, sinuous, a sensual dance without time, without deadlines, they would have all day if they wanted it.
And they did.
By now Tina had taken over and while Bette was lost in her now near climaxes, she slid her hand between them finding the brunette's swollen core ready to be stimulated in every possible way.
"Tee..."
A strangled sound came out as she felt two fingers encircle her clit now mixed with the essence of both of them. Not even Bette knew how she was still so responsive to Tina, and how she remembered everything about her body, every easily touched button.
"I've always loved how you can melt with me, you know..." Tina whispered it on Bette's lips a few millimeters away "how much you let the walls down when you're underBette's hesitations.
these sheets with me...if only everyone could see you like this Bette..."
That was a poem, a declared love, Tina would have shown Bette to everyone if she could instead of keeping her only for herself, just to let everyone know how beautiful that woman was, unique, special, a rare specimen. The most fantastic woman ever. Bette pushed a hand behind the blonde's neck grabbing a handful of golden hair and pushed it against her lips to devour them all with almost possessive force, making her moan loudly. Desperately Bette pushed her hips meeting Tina's fingers that penetrated her with ease as she rode the toned thigh keeping pace with her growing joy encouraged by a few butt squeezes that Bette gave her as if she were kneading dough for cookies.
"How many women? Huh?"
Tina pulled away from the kiss but her fingers were irresistible, they pushed in and out more and more each time where possible, as far as Bette's body could accept.
"I can't think that you were someone else's damn!"
Tina almost growled in frustration, that was a conversation they hadn't had, and maybe they never would have, it was just one of those games they loved to play, before making love, a thousand times. Scenes of fake jealousy, they knew they were meant for the two of them.
Bette let out a strangled scream, almost silent, she was starting to lose her breath but she had the strength to look the blonde in the eyes before her legs shook too much. She leaned forward tugging on the blonde's hair and then released it and went down with her hand on her cheek now red from the effort, she caressed with her thumb delicately, an intimate look in the midst of what was the chaos of that situation and that slow growth of something that was about to explode. Tina's mind thought many things in that moment, they had everything there with them, nothing was missing.
When did they stop talking like that?
Bette came without saying a word, she just wanted Tina's lips close to her, whispering how fantastic she was, how fantastic they both were together, how much time they had wasted. Tina pushed her face into Bette's neck, kissing and licking it lazily while it was still inside her, and she didn't want to leave for any reason, she loved feeling her heart explode beneath her with tension, with the emotion of those sharings that were just for them.
Tina felt an arm wrap around her back and press her even more against him, Bette's hand went down to her sacrum to her ass and beyond. Tina was soaking wet.
"God...."
The blonde sighed in tension still stunned by all the work she had done a few minutes before, but already excited about what was going to happen, Bette would not let her go. Not now.
Bette's skilled fingers touched Tina's opening from behind but it wasn't going to happen like that, too uncomfortable, so with a quick move Bette used her worked abs to come into a sitting position and squeeze her abdomen against Tina's, now sitting on her completely, navel to navel, chest to chest and Bette who now had free access from behind teased her watching her in full pleasure as she surrendered and put her arms around her neck. A second in silence, while she was amazed at those lips open in a silent beg.
"You've only had her..."
Bette said while she was almost inside Tina, that statement wasn't provocative, it was a desire to share that thought that she had always hated not being able to share.
"I know...you never cheated...then Tee..."
With that sentence Bette inserted two fingers into Tina and then added a third quickly, she would have worked fast and hard because with her hand she couldn't stimulate the clitoris, but Tina pushed her hips down to rub against the brunette's pubic bones. The blonde's head fell back, cursing Bette's name forcefully, holding on with one hand to her thick curls and with the other to her shoulder, leaving a bruise, everything was too unbearable now, the tiredness of the previous day, the night before, hours awake making love, Tina felt that she still had to give even though she felt like she had given everything, but with Bette it was like that.
In a moment of lucidity Bette saw Tina's sweaty face again, pink, droplets on her temples, hair stuck together but still smooth as silk, she could now feel the excitement surrounding her fingers. It was so uncomfortable, but she continued to hold Tina making her go further and further down on her fingers.
"Will you come like this? Only with me?"
Bette kissed her raised chin from below, exposing her smooth and sexy throat.
"Only with you... only for you.." Tina finally looked at the brunette "even if there had been a thousand women, it was always you."
They exchanged a light kiss, impossible for that moment, but real. Bette swallowed everything, even the emotion of that sentence.
"For me too...you've always been you my love..." she whispered and Tina came hard
"B...."
She cried out slightly arching her back hard, but Bette was there to support her as always and held her as tight as she could, sucking her breast as she shook hard and released her orgasm.
When Bette pulled her fingers out there was such a sensual pop coupled with Tina's sigh of release, she was in heaven. Their mouths connected while the blonde still had her eyes closed and they continued to touch each other even as she got down and lay down on Bette's side, remaining in contact tangled.
Blindly, unconsciously Tina reached out to squeeze Bette's buttocks in a sensual caress, if they hadn't been exhausted that would have been a request for another round of love. Tina was always like that.
"Mmmm..."
Tina moaned as she pulled away from the kiss to catch her breath while Bette didn't leave much space between their bodies, just a few inches.
"You've been keeping up with me I see..."
"You overstimulate me too much."
Bette laughed and combed Tina's hair several times while watching her with her eyes closed.
"B..."
"tell me..."
"Last night, there was a moment when it seemed like... you was insecure."
"Not about you, but about me... yes... nervous... when you got on top of me... I... it was too long Tee.. I've had sex, even good sex over the years, but no one knows my body like you and that was fine you know? No one knew how to touch me in places that touch my heart. I was more busy giving pleasure than receiving it, with you it's always the opposite, you make me take care of myself... I don't know how you do it."
"secret moves?"
"mmm, I could accept that, you know?"
Bette flirtatiously leaned in for a tender kiss "I might never want to leave you again..."
This time the mood became serious and charged
"you don't have to do it..."
"and Toronto?"
"would you come?"
Bette's eyes widened "what are you asking me?"
Tina smiled "just don't leave me...for a few days...then I can work wherever you are."
A tear formed in Bette's eyes "you know I'd go anywhere with you? To any lost place!"
"I know...as long as you leave my scent on you."
Tina nestled under Bette's neck, kissing one breast this time without provoking too much, even if Bette could feel it in her stomach.
"Our scent."
"Yes."
After minutes of wallowing in silence Bette spoke again "when will we tell Angie?"
"After breakfast with the girls..."
"what breakfast, sorry?"
"I promised Alice I would go. And since they saw us leave together yesterday they will know that you will be there too!"
Bette grunted, pulling Tina close, almost crushing her.
"hey!" Tina rebelled playfully
"I could give you more joy Tina Kennard you know?"
"I don't doubt it but tonight we will be in Toronto and my bed is comfortable, you will wear me out!"
"ok I accept." Bette laughed "about Angelica...she's grown up now, she'll be here alone...then there's Shane and Alice..."
"I know...she's smart...and I think she's seeing someone serious."
"Uhm?how do you know?" Bette asked grimly.
"sixth sense from a mother."
Bette snorted and Tina laughed placing a kiss on the cheek "you're not ready grandma B?"
"what the fuck?" Bette opened her mouth indignant and comical towards Tina who was already laughing with her face on the pillow "don't joke with that!"
"you'll be a perfect grandma Bette..."
"oh yes...well even if I'm a grandma you'll go many hours without sleep you know...and not for the baby!"
Both laughed, it was a moment of such happiness that their hearts could explode. After all those years, there they were.
"God how I love you B..."
Their eyes shone.
"More than infinity. Now let's pack our bags."