Communication
Elrond was happy that he stopped when he got tired and let Haldir pick him up and bring him to be checked out. Actually praised him for it. Which was weird but whatever made his brother happy. Probably was an attempt at positive reinforcement or something like that. Harry really only did it because every time he wore himself out he got the we care about you speech. And was put on restriction. Which was not as nearly as fun. So might as well check out if it was true that it would take less time to be able to go back to typical activities.
His brother was decidedly less happy about the whole King Thranduil insisting on supplying private guards. At least that is how Gilriant interpreted the whole pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering things. He decided if they wanted him to just be an elfling, he wasn’t going to worry about it. Harry didn’t know if this was what they meant by letting the adults worry about things but quite frankly he didn’t want to deal with it. So he wasn’t going to.
The fact was he’d been doing some really responsible and adult-like things lately. Of course there were the moments of mischief but that was blowing off steam. And cheering people up. Okay it cheered him up to prank the twins but that was totally besides the point. Granted Harry wasn’t entirely sure what was supposed to be the point here. Other than he had in fact been shouldering his more adult type responsibilities or mind-set. The problem was, it was difficult to let go of them. Where was the line as to what he was responsible for and what he was not?
Trying to think about it all was pretty much how he ended up in a tree brooding. He didn’t want to become too predictable in his brooding spots after all. This seemed to be a leftover from his past life. Getting stuck in his own head. “You look like you have plenty on your mind.” Legolas’ voice interrupted his thoughts as he looked over with surprise to see the other elf had joined him in the tree. “Can you blame me?”
Legolas considered the question, giving it thought before responding. “I suppose not. Especially after everything you have told me.” Gilriant gave him a lopsided grin. “And I hardly told you all, or I would still be talking.” Which hardly had to be news to the older elf that there was more. “So are you hiding in the tree to hide from your thoughts or something else?”
“Partly so I can ignore that there is always a household staff member in sight of me to help make sure Galadriel doesn’t come within my sight.” Well there was another depressing train of thought. “I heard about that.” Now Legolas looked upset. Granted that was most people’s reactions when they realized how bad that first meeting had gone.
“I don’t blame her for having a bad reaction that Atar was there. I know his history. I do have a problem with how most just want to blame the Feanorians rather than consider all the facts of the matter. I also blame her for trying to invade his mind and mine. I’m just glad I was able to figure out the occlumency stuff back when I was doing all my self-study. At least enough to help defend and I - “ Harry paused, turning the idea over in his head. It certainly would be a good way to feel safer. It also had other benefits like helping with organizing thoughts. And blocking out anyone with similar abilities to Galadriel. Oh maybe even help recognize when the Enemy was trying to influence you. “Something’s occurred to you.”
A statement more than a question but Gilriant still answered cheerfully as he started to climb down the tree. “Yup, a refresher on something that will make me feel safer and maybe help others. You coming?” Legolas actually got out of the tree faster than he did. Not that he was surprised by that considering how much more experience he had. “You know I really hate being so small sometimes.”
That earned him a smile as the ellon started following him. Then something occurred to Harry and he stopped short. “Wait, I need to ask, are you going to have a problem if you encounter my Atar?” He turned to look up at Legolas’ face. Gilriant could see while his expression mostly stayed calm, there were some emotions that flickered there.
Yet after a moment the Greenwood prince shook his head. “No, I’ll be fine. Ada won’t be mad, we did discuss it.” The smile flickered on Gilriant’s face. “So, are you looking after me, or am I looking out for you? Maybe a bit of both huh.” Before Legolas could respond to that he held out his hand. “Come on then!” His smile got brighter when the ellon took his hand and he started tugging the woodland elf along.
Funny that, they were right about him craving touch at his age. He didn’t always want to be carried around, so this worked. Though it kinda surprised him that Legolas was so open to it. From his understanding most adult elves weren’t huge on close personal contact outside of family and close friends. While there was definitely an exception when it came to elflings, the older ellon wouldn’t have had much experience if any with one.
He wasn’t blind to the fact that both of them had more reasons than just wanting to make a friend to interact with each other. Gilriant’s promise to Narinzel for one. Thranduil likely wanted Legolas to get close to the elfling to get more information and possibly influence. Yet even though it started out this way, it didn't mean it had to stay that way. He genuinely wanted to build a friendship here. And not just because he found it funny when Legolas got this confused expression when Harry did something out of the ordinary or said something odd.
There was a little tug on his instincts that said Legolas was important in some way outside of all that. One of the things he had been learning was to listen to those instincts. True he couldn’t only pay attention to them, but they were important. It meant something was trying to give him information he needed. Of course you had to pay attention and be careful because sometimes they were warnings, but this didn’t feel like that. Just something happy. Gilriant was starting to believe he deserved happy things.
Legolas’ longer legs meant he didn’t need to run as Gilriant hurried along. They did get greetings and elves noting their passage. That was to be expected considering who the pair was. Harry had learned to cheerfully return greetings and ignore the rest. It was going to happen so why get stressed about it. Granted they got more looks as he pulled them into the family wing.
The door to his and Atar’s rooms were partially open so he felt no qualms about bursting in with the prince in tow. “Hi Atar!” He greeted him cheerfully. “Did we unpack all the books that I was studying from before or are they still in the truck?” Visibility taken back by the sudden intrusion, Maglor shook his head slightly and then gestured to one of the bookcases. “They are there or in that trunk.” Then he added in a dry tone. “Making new friends I see.”
Pausing in his attempt to drag his friend over to the books he realized introductions were in order. “Oh! Right, yes. Legolas this is my Atar Maglor, Atar this is my new friend Legolas. You are both princes so we can leave off titles right?” A sigh escaped the bard. “Not for a formal introduction no, but since we are going informal it is acceptable. Also I haven’t been a prince in a very long time.” Gilriant just shrugged. “Still one, if people are going to start calling me one I’m going to make them call you one too. Maybe that will get them to stop.” Huh that might actually work in getting them to lay off, he’ll have to keep that one in mind.
Difficult not to see how the two adult elves were a bit wary of the other, but he was just going to ignore that until they got over it. “I don’t think that’s going to work my friend. At least not for my people. If Ada decided you are to be called a prince, that is what they will do.” Legolas sounded amused so he considered that a win as he finished dragging them over to the books. Harry sighed, “Well, that’s annoying.”
There was a soft chuckle from his Atar. “I see he’s dragging you into his sudden inspirations already.” Gilriant hid a grin as he dropped Legolas’ hand and started to look through the bookcase. “Are you saying I need to get used to this?” Maglor’s dry response, “I’m not sure anyone gets used to it. They just adapt.”
Not finding the book he wanted, Gilriant turned to the trunk and opened it up. He started to lean over to dig into it when his Atar promptly called out. “Pull the bookcase up. That trunk is not made for living things, do not fall in.” Not bothering to reply, he simply found the right spot and much to Legolas’s startlement easily hauled up a large bookcase. “How . . . how is that possible.”
“It is bigger on the inside!” Harry answered cheerfully. “And this is just the first bookcase.” Okay so he was feeling just a touch mischievous right now. Because while Legolas was still processing this, he lowered the bookcase, nudged the trunk to show there was no cavity under it, and then pulled up the second one.
Maglor took some pity on the elven prince who was staring wide-eyed. “Magic from the world of Gilriant’s birth. They had made it into a high art form, with different methods. Capable of some amazing things. Also some truly horrible ones.”
Finding the book he wanted Harry pulled it off the shelf before lowering the bookcase out of the way. “Got it!” He waved it in the air. “I want to show it to Elrond.” Maglor glanced at the title and his expression smoothed out. “Ah, yes that might be useful. You’ll have to translate for him.” Gilriant nodded in understanding before dashing over to give his Atar a hug. “Love you!” The bard smiled softly, crouching down to return the hug. “Love you too hinya. Now don’t tire out your new friend too much.” When he stepped back the elfling grinned at the bard. “I make no promises.”
Cheerfully he started out the door, Legolas following. Before he exited he paused to look back at Maglor, studying the ellon. He said, “You don’t have to stay in your rooms. You live here. If someone has a problem with your presence, that is their problem. Not yours.” He didn’t wait to see the response to that, but exited the room. Only to stop seeing Gilriant staring at him.
“Thank you, for that.” The elfling blinked rapidly. “Just, thank you for saying that.” Legolas smiled and held out his hand. “I only spoke the truth. Now you want to take that to your brother, right?” Book carefully tucked under one hand he easily grabbed the proffered hand and started down the hall. ‘Yes, just have to - oh there is Lindir!”
The aforementioned head of household turned and offered Gilriant a smile. “What can I do for you, my prince?” Legolas didn’t bother to hide his amused expression even when the elfling looked back at him with a near-glare. Then he smoothed out his expression and turned back to Lindir. “Is my brother free?”
The ellon considered, “He’s in his study with Erestor and Glorfindel. I do believe they are due for a break. Make sure you knock first and let them know I will be bringing tea shortly please.” Which would likely also include snacks. Either Lindir thought they needed to eat, or he thought Gilriant did and figured this was a good way to achieve that goal. “I will!” The elfling promised before starting to tug Legolas in the correct direction. “Do you really run everywhere?”
“I am not running, my legs are just short so I have to move them faster to go the same distance as everyone else.” Legolas’s voice was amused. “I’m fairly certain they call that running.” They reached the door at that point and since the older ellon had the free hand, he knocked on the door. The fact that they waited for someone to respond was only due to the fact one of the elfling’s hands was being held, and the other holding the book. Otherwise it might have been flung open directly after the knocking.
After a moment Glorfindel opened the door. “Hi Shiny!” Looking down with a smile the captain stepped back to allow entry. “Hello there little star, I see you have a new friend.” Gilriant proceeded to tug Legolas through the door. “Yep! He found me in the tree so I decided he should come along. I realized I had a book that might help.”
Elrond had already gotten up and moved around the desk to reach his brother. Expecting this the elfling dropped Legolas’ hand before he got swept up in a hug. “Book?” Erestor’s interest was piqued and he looked at what Gilriant carried. “Yes, but I’m going to have to translate it. Oh! Also Lindir said he was bringing tea.”
“Then we shall have tea.” Elrond carried Gilriant back to his desk waving Legolas towards one of the chairs nearby. The elfling looked back at his new friend. “I should have warned you, my brother will take any given opportunity to pick me up.” The lord of Imladris responded mildly, “I do believe I have told you that at your age you need the contact.” Harry cheerfully added, “Also that he fusses.”
“True,” Glorfindel chimed in. “But this is pretty mild for him. Real fussing is when you land in the healing halls.” Elrond’s voice was stern. “Which is not going to happen with my brother for anything serious.” Harry’s voice was amused. “My school ended up with a dedicated bed in the medical wing for me. Put up a plaque and everything.”
While the comment was meant to be light-hearted it made all the adult elves pause to process that information. Elrond’s arm briefly tightened around the elfling. “Well, we shall make sure to look after you better here so you do not need that.” Gilriant leaned into his brother in an offer of comfort.
Lindir showed up then, setting them all up with tea and yes as the elfling thought, snacks to go with it. Once everyone was settled, and had their tea and snacks, Gilriant restarted the conversation. “Anyways, I was talking with Legolas about the . . . about . . .” He couldn’t say exactly why now he was struggling to talk. But the words just didn’t want to come out.
“About the incident with Lady Galadriel,” Legolas spoke into the silence. “He remembered something called occlumency, and how it was a defense.” Gilriant sent him a look of thanks and sighed. “Yeah that. I learned it, well I was supposed to be taught it in school but the person that was supposed to be teaching me hated me. So, um, I didn’t really learn it until after everything. Seemed like a good idea cause there are lots of people in the place of my birth that have abilities like . . that. It is something that can be learned, but also defended against. How good you are is a combination of how hard you work at it and natural talent.”
He fidgeted with the book. “Occlumency is also used to help organize thoughts and some people used it to help control their emotions. I was thinking if it can be figured out for elves, it could also protect from outside influences. You get any kind of ability with it and you’ll know when something or someone is trying to influence you.”
That completely had the attention of the veterans in the room. They were well aware of the insidiousness of the Enemy. Something that could help you notice and defend against outside influence could be a very good skill indeed. “You are right, this could be very useful. We’ll have to work on it together. Is this what you used the other day?” Elrond asked gently. Gilriant nodded affirmatively, his voice wanting to hide again.
“Gilriant I meant to ask, did you figure out when your begetting day is. I know you said you thought it would be soon.” Legolas must have decided he needed a distraction to bring that up. “Not yet. It is not a big deal, and I need to look at a calendar and count days.” Elrond immediately responded. “I disagree, it absolutely is a big deal we need time to plan a proper celebration.” Erestor got up and came over to the desk to help him parse out the days.
Turns out Legolas was right, they absolutely did want to make a big deal of his begetting day. Which was still a bit of a novel concept to Harry. Sure his friends, that he only got after age eleven, would send him presents. It was just rare for anyone to be willing and able to want to celebrate with him on the actual day. He knew that was what most kids experienced. Just, he wasn’t most kids. He didn’t get to have the same things. So getting that now would be . . . .weird.
“You really don’t have to.” Gilriant protested with a bit of a whine. “It is really not a big deal.” Recognizing the tone, Elrond simply adjusted how he was holding the elfling. Now it would be natural for him to rest his head against his older brother’s shoulder. He switched his tone to a smooth even one. “We want to. You did have a great deal of fun at the last festival. Wouldn’t you like to enjoy a celebration for yourself? All your favorite foods. Plenty of music and dancing after.” He continued in that vein with a smooth tone until Glorfindel gave him a nod and in a quiet voice. “He’s asleep now.” Glorfindel inclined his head to Elrond and then headed out the door gesturing for Legolas to follow him.
Erestor paced back towards the desk and knowing what he wanted Elrond handed over the book to his Seneschal to study. While he may not be able to translate all of it, it may help with his language studies. As well as getting a start in the information within. Neither were likely to actually follow any instructions until they were completely certain of the translation and everything it entailed several times over. Besides it was a book Erestor had yet to read. The odds of getting him to leave the office without it were very low.
Once outside Glorfindel turned to the woodland elf. “If your father has some free time, I should speak with him about these guards he wants to send. As the security of Imladris, including Prince Gilriant is my responsibility I would be the best one to discuss this with.” The fact that King Thranduil could be implying that he thought they were not up to the job wasn’t lost on the captain. Still he could play polite with the best of them. Legolas inclined his head. “Come then, I will see if he is free.”
In the office, being held by his brother, Gilriant Dreamed.
Two small boys, mirror images of each other huddled in a closet. The clash of metal on metal, of fires and screams can be picked up by their pointed ears. Mother, mother where are you going, why are you leaving us behind, mother?!
Curled up together on a bed in a room. The room was comfortable, they were well fed, had books and toys, and also very much not allowed to leave. Two tall elves had brought them here. One only had a left hand, the other would sing to them to try and calm them. They sounded confused and distressed and the boys knew another demand to return the shiny stone in exchange for them had gone unanswered.
Thoughts and feelings flowed between them. Sometimes it was difficult to say where one started and the other ended. Ideas shared and decided upon. Not perfect harmony for they had their own preferences and that could lead to a squabble but always coming back together again.
A little older, with captors turned fathers. Laughter at the looks of astonishment on their faces the first time the boys called them Atya and Atto. Much more laughter now, happiness, lessons, pride. A feeling of safety, security, and above all love. Family, they had family and each other.
Older now, sticking close together in a strange place. Feelings of confusion, anger, grief and frustration. Oh they knew their father said they did it to protect them. But still, left with strangers. Ones that wanted to change everything about them. That failed to accept that they had been treated well and were loved. Abandoned again, but they still had each other. Still could lean on the other.
Two well grown adults. Polished skills yet now the images started to diverge. One dressed as elves do, the other as a man. Still leaning on each other, still sharing thoughts, still strong in their bond. Back to back, they face the world.
The mirror cracks further. For there are signs of aging on the one dressed in mannish clothes. A crown weighs heavy upon his head. Round-eared children around him and he stands tall with pride. The one in elvish clothes surrounded by others like him. Even still what they share is strong. Distance does not matter, they still are brothers. The bond sings strong and heavy with love.
The mirror shatters . . . .
Only one remains . . . .
Lost . . .
Lost . . . .
GRIEF
. . . . alone
. . . . echoing emptiness
. . . . an aching cry that goes unanswered
The Dream slipped away, but the echo of it remained. The empty loneliness that must have belonged to his brother. It reminded him of the Weasley brothers. Two halves a whole separated by Death. He couldn’t be there for George, but he could be there for Elrond.
Elrond was safe, Elrond was trusted, Elrond . . . . maybe needed him just as much as he needed a brother.
There was that part of him, new since he became an elf. One that could feel others reaching out and offering comfort and connection. Gilriant allowed the touch that came from those he knew and trusted, but had yet to reach back. It wasn’t the mind, it was something . . . else. Like when the fea of his Grandfather, Uncles or the lost ones rested on him. It felt like that but he’d been feeling that from the living too. Atar and Elrond the most, but also from Haldir when he guided and was a much needed anchor. From Elladan, Elrohir, Arwen, Celebrian, even a little from Glorfindel and Erestor.
He’d accepted but never really reached back. Connected, but held apart all at the same time. Which he was pretty sure the adults talked about and worried about. His queyna was rudimentary still, but he could follow the basic conversation. It's not like they were keeping something from him. It was more they didn’t want him to feel pressured. One he would not tolerate, but the other he appreciated.
There was also some big long argument about the correct way to say things in queynan. Totally besides the current point but he did find it funny. Gilriant resolved it by saying he planned on learning all the dialects, not just one. It didn’t quite stop the grumbling but it did quiet it down.
Cracking his eyes open he could see Elrond writing something one handed. The other arm was being used to hold him close and secure. His brother was always content to give him whatever Harry needed. Without question or hesitation. He just gave with an open heart. Gilriant was lucky to have him as a brother.
That tightly wound part of him, finally relaxed. Slowly unspooling and ever so carefully reaching out. He saw Elrond’s quill stop when he did that. Gilriant left that ‘hand’ outstretched towards his brother. Not quite touching but yes reaching out. His brother laid the quill down on the table and reached to wrap his second arm around him. Then he felt it.
Elrond reached back, his ‘hand’ carefully clasping the one he offered. A vibrant, warm, safe, strong connection that flowed back and forth. Gilrant smiled as he was held close. Then
. . . . I love you brother . . . .
To which was swiftly replied I love you too my brother.