Going visiting
Gilriant cheerfully regaled Nienna with tales of Hedwig’s antics as his faithful friend and snowy owl. She seemed very interested in the transformation and what little he knew about phoenixes. Perhaps a good thing he had something to focus on for there were a great many things that tugged at his attention. People that he could almost feel nearby. Something about it called to him. Yet another instinct said not yet. So he poured his focus into cheerfully chatting with the vala. She did say a few boring things about the limits Namo had for him, but he could worry about that later.
Eventually she led him into a place that looked like a small courtyard. There were flowers, a small fountain, even bookcases with books. He knew they were within Mandos’ Hall but this was different. Why he wasn’t sure, but eventually he spotted the shadow of an elf on one of the benches. More there than the small motes of fea he had carried, but not as solid as his uncle had been. There and not, healing but not. An odd contradiction that he couldn’t quite figure out.
“Hi!” He chirped cheerfully. When in doubt he could always fall back on being a cute elfling. If he was going to be stuck with it, might as well use it. The shadow elf strengthened, becoming more defined as it, no he, turned towards them with an expression of surprise. Nienna gave a soft smile. “Maeglin, this is your cousin Gilriant, I have brought him to visit you.”
“Visit me?” The astonished response came. “Why would anyone want to visit me? Or is it that no one has told him what I have done yet?” Some of the defined nature of the elf faded.
Gilriant couldn’t help the scoff that escaped him. Which probably sounded a little odd coming from an elfling but nothing he could help. “Why would I want to know from somebody else what you did? People get stuff wrong all the time. Or they repeat something somebody important told them not knowing if it is true or not. Just thinking it was true because that person said so.”
The elfling was suddenly the intense focus of a much more present now dark-eyed elf. “That’s what happened to me anyways,” Gilriant continued. “People were so set on who and what they thought I should be, they just didn’t see . . me.” He gave a little shrug.
“Then I got lucky, and found family that wanted me. I got a chance to come to Ea and start over.” He focused on petting Hedwig. “I had some family that didn’t want me. So I understand if you don’t want to. I just was hoping meet more family. Get know them from them. Let them know me.” He frowned slightly. “Sorry if I do not pick right words. Still learning.”
This time when he looked up the elf was very solidly there. Unmistakable adult but young in a way he had yet to see. Granted he hadn’t seen many elves yet but still. Maeglin gave him a shy smile. “A star shines upon the hour of our meeting cousin. I think I would like to get to know you.” He moved back slightly on the bench to make more room and gestured to the space next to him.
Nienna helped him settle on the bench and Gilriant gave the elf a bright smile. “I know that one! That’s the formal greeting, the nice one. It’s pretty.”
“Formal, yes I suppose so. Nice would depend on the way you say it.”
Nienne settled on the bench behind Gilriant but he stayed focused on the ellon by him. He already figured out there was a reason she brought him here first. So he would do his best to try and cheer up this fragile looking soul. “Yeah there are probably mean ways to say it. I knew somebody that could make just about anything sound mean.” A slight frown formed on his face before it faded. “Well I don’t have to worry about them anymore.”
He held the chick in his hands a little closer to Maeglin. “Do you want to meet Hedwig? She’s nice, and very special.” The chick gave a friendly chirp at the taller elf. He reached, and then at Gilriant’s encouraging nod, gently scratched the top of her head with the tip of his index finger.
“She’s a young bird, even so I don’t think I have ever seen something like her before.” He gave the elfling an inquiring look. “There is a shine to her feathers.”
“She’s a phoenix now. Ice one I think.” Gilriant explained as Hedwig’s eyes closed in pleasure at the gentle attention. “So she won’t ever die, or at least not for long. She’ll just turn into snow or ice and be reborn from it.”
“Truly? I have not heard of any bird being able to do that.” Maeglin looked surprised, and utterly fascinated. “You said ice phoenix. Are there other kinds?”
“Think so!” Gilriant responded cheerfully. “I have a fire friend too, he is keeping Maglor company while I come visit. I can come visit because of the maia in me I think. It makes me different. Which has not always meant good things in the past. But it is working out okay right now. I get to visit you!”
The elfling hadn’t missed the way the gentle scratching of Hedwig’s head paused at the admission of being part maia. It resumed after a moment. “Being different can be hard.” Maeglin replied softly. “People don’t like it when you behave in ways they don’t expect. Or don’t understand why you react the way you do.”
Gilriant had questions, many questions, but now was not the right time to push for those kinds of answers. Instead, “Yes. I decided not to care. I be me. Not worry about them. If I not fit in, I not fit in. People that care about me will not care. Let me be, me.” He gave a childish shrug. “Grandfather help, and Uncles, and Maglor, they do not care I am different. Hard when everyone think it a . . .” he paused searching for the correct word. “Flaw?”
Maeglor dipped his head in a nod. “Yes, flaw.”
“Sometimes people are idiots.”
“Gilriant, we do not call people idiots.” Nienna scolded. Yet she had a light smile on her face.
“Then why have word for it?” He had turned towards her when he asked but he could still see the almost laugh on Maeglin’s face when he asked. Which is pretty much why he did it. And considering what he saw of Nienna, Gilriant thought she was playing along to help. “It's not a nice thing to say.”
“Perhaps not. Though it may also be true at times.” Turning back to Maeglin Harry beamed a smile at him.
“See! My new cousin agrees.”
“Perhaps it's better we talk about your little friend there.” Nienna prompted. “You told me a phoenix has a beautiful song?”
“Yes,” Gilriant nodded. “When she gets bigger will be able to sing more. Not sure how long it will take to get bigger.”
A wistful expression formed on Maeglin’s face. “I would like to hear it some day.”
“Will have to come back! Oh if you like music I can try to bring my handpan next time.”
That got a rather blank look from Maeglin. “What is a hand-pan? I haven’t heard of that before.”
“It's from the world I was born on. New there too. Like a metal drum shaped to make different sounds when you hit it in spots.”
New sparks of interest lit up in Maeglin and Gilriant happily spent time answering his questions. About different musical instruments, about coming from a different place. Not the full story but pieces of it. Hedwig had long fallen asleep as they talked. Unfortunately eventually Nienna said the words neither elf wanted to hear.
“I’m sorry, but it's time for Gilriant to go.” Both looked disappointed by this, but the elfling didn’t want to argue too much. Arguing for longer stays should be saved for when they were really needed. Plus he retained enough of his adult perspective to know there had to be limits for a reason. Still he pouted. “I was having fun.”
“I know. We’ll make sure you can visit again. I’m not sure when but we’ll figure it out.”
Gilriant turned to look at Maeglin. “I want to come visit again, if that is okay with you?”
He dipped his head in a nod. “I would like that, yes. I very much enjoyed our time. And perhaps you can bring that handpan next time?”
“Yes!” Gilriant beamed a happy smile and when Maeglin made a hesitant gesture, he leaned in for a hug. Not long, as he could tell the older elf wasn’t much used to hugs by the tentative way he wrapped his arms around the elfling. Yet at the same time very much wanted one by how he leaned into it.
With a sigh he pulled away and slid off the bench, carefully balancing Hedwig against his chest. “Thank you for letting me visit you cousin.” Maeglin returned Gilriant’s sunny smile with one of his own. “Thank you for coming. I, hope you come again. I enjoyed talking with you.”
“I’ll find a way,” The elfling promised. He took Nienna’s offered hand and let her lead him away. He was quiet at first. Thinking over the meeting. What Maeglin said, how he reacted. “Nienna, thank you for taking me to see him. I think, I think we might have same things from past.”
“Some things, yes.” The vala agreed quietly. “I rather thought the two of you would get along well.”
He opened his mouth as if to say more and promptly got distracted by the feel of familiar presences. He let go of her hand to race ahead. “Grandfather! Uncles!” There they were. More than mere balls of light now, though not at all solid. Not even close to the shadow Maeglin had been when he first saw that elf. Still he could see their forms and smiles as they kneeled down around Gilriant when he reached their side.
“I’m glad, glad you are here and safe.” He knew, even as they reached for him that they could not touch him yet. At least not while he was awake like this. Still he could feel their love and faintly hear their words of love and caring. “I’m okay. Look I don’t need my glasses anymore!”
Gilriant would have continued to chatter at them but Nienna was there again calling softly. “You need to rest young one. I promise you can come back later but for now let's take you back to your Atar.” A part of him REALLY wanted to protest. No he was not going to whine just respectfully disagree but then a hand came out to intercept another ball of light type fea that had been speeding towards him.
“Elenrieano, please do me a favor and go and rest so you can come back and deal with this insistent one.” There was Namo and while outwardly he looked calm the elfling could pick up vibes of him being tired and more than a little frustrated. Blinking he leaned to one side to look at who was being deemed the insistent one. A ball of mostly vibrant green with streaks of brown and red. Interesting.
“Oh! You are one of the lost lost ones I found right before I came back. They say I need rest now. Will talk when I come back need to be . . . what right word?” His face scrunched until a barely audible suggestion from his relatives helped. “Patient, that is it.”
Slowly, that fea backed off and with some reluctance Gilriant took Nienna’s hand letting her lead him all the way back to Maglor. Not because he was tired, no. But because they were insisting on the break. Sometimes it was faster to just go along with things. As soon as he heard the familiar sound of harp playing he dashed forward again towards it. He could see the tall elf’s head pick up when he got close and the song was brought to an end.
“Gilriant.” Maglor smiled as the elfing dashed up to him. “Did you have a good visit?” He started to detune the harp and place it back in the bag.
“Yes, and I saw Grandfather and Uncles and they are okay! There was this one person that wants to really talk to me but Namo says I need to go rest first.” Maglor stood up, easily balancing Fawkes on one shoulder as he offered the elfling his hand.
“Is that so? Well perhaps Lady Nienna knows where we can rest?” He bowed best he could at the vala with his current load and she smiled and nodded.
“Come, follow me. There is more food for you as well.” She turned to lead them towards a building not too far.
“But I ate short time ago.” The complaint from the elfling was not entirely unexpected. The young one seemed bursting to go everywhere and try everything. Not really wanting to slow down.
Thankfully Maglor had a good enough distraction. “Yes but your, Hedwig was it? Is just a chick now. Won’t she need food more often?”
That at least gave the elfling pause. “Oh, yeah. Okay. I guess we can have a small amount.” Predictably as soon as Nienna showed them in, Gilriant dropped his hand and raced around to where he found the supplies. Fawkes hopping off Maglor’s shoulder to glide over there and get his share.
The elfling’s laughter and mock scolding made him smile as he turned towards Nienna. “Thank you Lady.” He gave a low bow.
“No need. He is a delight to help. When you venture forth again there will be another guide.” A small smile graced her lips. Inclining her head to him she turned and left.
Maglor turned his attention back to the elfling who was looking over at him. “Is she alway sad?” He asked quietly. “I think, she was always crying, little. Even when smiling, she cries some.”
With a nod he moved over to the table, making sure that Gilriant was eating as well as feeding the birds. “Yes. Each of the Valar have a different responsibility, or ability and influence. She is the Lady of Mercy and Sorrows.”
Frowning a little Gilriant thought that over, pausing to actually feed himself for the moment. “I don’t think I could do that. Be sad all the time. She still smiles.”
“Yes,” Maglor agreed. “Because she also teaches us about hope.”
The elfling thought that one over for a moment. He didn’t know her as well as he did Namo, or even Irmo. Still from what little he did know and seen so far, it fit. “I think I understand.” There were some heavy thoughts there. Ones that he needed to contemplate and truly understand, but not yet. It was just another piece of the puzzle. Gilriant needed more to think about and put together. Time, experience, and seeking out more knowledge would help with that.
Absent-mindedly he sampled the various foods as he fed the birds and contemplated what he knew so far. There was quite a bit labeled not yet ready for. Not that the knowledge and abilities were off limits. More that he lacked the needed foundation to truly understand and use responsibly. So he needed to have people he trusted to help guide him until he reached that point. Even then, he needed people to listen to. That way he made sure he wasn’t looking at things from just one perspective.
One thing he picked up from his interaction with his cousin, elves were definitely not perfect. They were fully capable of being biased. Or even blind. In the end, they were people. Maglor’s story taught him that as well. His elven relatives also taught him that they could be kind, loving, and accepting as well. Not perfect, but he also did not necessarily need to maintain a level of distrust either. Perhaps, what was the old saying, trust but verify? That may be the best solution.
“Gilriant, once we are done there are a few things we should talk about.” The elfling gave the bard his full attention. “Nothing bad,” Maglor soothed.” Just things I think you should be aware of that we can work together on.” Stuffing the last of the food he wanted in his mouth, Harry nodded and helped clean up the table. Once done he scooped Hedwig up in one hand, cradling the chick against his chest.
“First,” Maglor took a quick look around and then offered Gilriant his hand and led him into another room. “Your appearance has changed slightly other than what is already obvious. You are still you,” he quickly reassured. “Just your other heritage coming in.” He brought the elfling to the front of a mirror and let him look before he could become too alarmed
Stepping in front he steeled himself and then stared at his new reflection. Yes, Maglor was right. While he could still see himself there, it was almost intensified in a way. One thing he was pleased to see was that the infamous scar on his forehead was completely gone. The only trace of it left behind was a silver-white streak of hair that started right above where the scar had previously graced his forehead. It sharply contrasted to the inky blackness of his hair. What also cheered him up was that his hair appeared much more manageable. Straight, glossy, he would be able to handle it on his own without too much difficulty. Though considering the fuss about braids the bard made before, it made it equally likely that he wouldn’t be entirely handling it alone.
The rest of his obvious features included small changes. While he hadn’t touched his ears earlier to be sure, now he could easily see their pointed tops clearly. Not unexpected. That his facial features had become slightly more refined. While the roundness of childhood might have made him pout the fact that his eyes were the same shade of green distracted from that. Oddly they seemed somehow more intense, while still being the exact same shade. He also noted that the circlet still sat the same on his head. It must have adjusted automatically when he shrank.
When he let go of Maglor’s hand to touch his face, what he saw in the mirror made him pause and reach to grab the other elf’s hand. He twisted it in his grasp, examining it. “Your scars, they are gone too!” The bard gave him a gentle smile and then moved to lead Gilriant over to a couch. “Yes, Eru did a few things to help me as well. I believe they also helped all we brought with us to some extent.”
Climbing up on the couch Gilriant gently settled Hedwig on Maglor’s lap after he sat down so that he could throw both arms around the elf. “I”m glad.” The bard leaned down to press a kiss on the top of the elfling’s head. “I as well.”
Keeping one arm around the young one, he continued. “There were a few more things that happened. For myself, I know you know about the oath. Eru . . . quieted it. Instead he allowed the promise I made to you to be stronger than the oath.” When Gilriant’s head popped up and he could see the slightly worried expression, Maglor continued. “I do not, and will never regret that promise as it is something I want with my entire being. To be there for you hinya. To never deliberately do anything to cause you harm.” He stroked a hand down the elfling’s hair. “It is what I want. And while there are those that will still be apprehensive and distrustful of me for the past and because of the oath, you and I will know this truth. And anyone we choose to share it with. They will be the ones that matter.” At that Harry nodded and then leaned back into the taller elf.
“Now then for you, there is something I have noticed that you should be aware of.” When he saw that Gilriant was looking up at him he continued. “First, I want to explain that all elves carry the light of the Eldar. Being older, stronger, and a few other things can influence that light to be stronger and brighter. Experienced healers often look at that to judge for hidden injuries or injuries to our fea. Elves’ bodies and souls are far more interconnected than most beings in Arda. To the point, injuries to our fea can affect our physical bodies.” At the elfling’s nod of understanding Maglor added. “Our race was born in starlight, and that light is a part of us.”
“Okay, I have this light. I’m guessing from the way you said I need to know, there is something more about mine?”
Now came the part that might alarm the young one. “Yes. Now another thing you need to know, and I am sure you have noticed by now, the Ainur, Valar and Maia alike have their own light. Stronger and different than the elves.” At Gilriant’s look of understanding he continued. “From what I can tell, almost everything, if not everything from Ea was superseded by your heritage here. While this means your elven heritage, if you remember your uncle's ancestor includes Melian the Maia. I believe the part of you that is maia, has been strengthened as well.”
Here he paused to give Gilriant a chance to think it over for himself. What it meant, the potential implications of it. He was not disappointed when the elfling came to the correct conclusions. “You brought up the light first. So does that make me brighter than most elves?”
“Yes. Noticeably so. Nothing to be alarmed by. I am just also aware that you dislike special attention being paid to you because of what others see, rather than who you are.” At the way the elfling scrunched up his expression in distaste, Maglor suppressed the urge to chuckle, sticking to the calm expression. “Exactly so. After you have rested, we can see if that gift from your friend can help you tone it down some. There are a few things you can potentially learn that will help reduce the obvious. There may be other ways, we can ask. So nothing to be alarmed about. Just something I wanted to make sure you knew.” With a nod, Gilriant reached out to gently pet Hedwig where she rested in Maglor’s lap. The action was a soothing one for him.
The bard continued in the same calm tone. “You chose to take on a certain role and responsibility. That came with its own gifts. This may just be the way to help you connect and balance yourself with those gifts. You already can do things other elves cannot. How much and what you do in the end is up to you. Right now though I would like you to think about focusing on giving yourself time to grow and learn.” Not talking about this would not make any of it go away. It would only foster the potential for reckless behavior and potential mistrust. While Gilriant was now an elfling, he still had the experiences of being a leader and an adult. That could not, and would not, be forgotten or discounted.
While difficult to shrug in his current position, Gilriant made his best attempt. “Yes, was thinking about that. I need . . . . more time. Need to learn, grow, get stronger. I have you to help right?” Maglor agreed and gently tightened the arm around him. “Every step of the way. As long as you need or want me, I will be there.” The elfling relaxed under his hold.
“Now, I think it is time you should at least try to rest.” At the not unexpected grumble and half whine Maglor smiled. “At least try. You can lay down right here with me.” With sigh the elfling proceeded to curl his legs up on the couch, half laying on the bard. Which drew the older elf’s attention to his bare feet.
“We need to see about getting you some shoes.”
“No.” Came the firm response from the elfling.
“No?” Maglor asked in an amused tone. Why not?”
“I like feeling ground under my feet. Feel . . . what is in ground?” Part puzzlement, part frustration at trying to find the correct words in Sindarian. While he knew this was the fastest way to be completely fluent, it still bore some irritating difficulty in communication.
“Perhaps a connection to it?” The bard offered.
“Yes, that.” Came the adamant reply.
Maglor hummed considering it. “You are still going to need shoes to protect your feet and for certain social situations.” The resulting grumble just had Maglor softly chuckling. He stroked another hand over Gilriant’s head and then started to sing a soft lullaby. One that he remembered his mother singing to him. While he was sure the elfling would consider it cheating,it truly wouldn’t send the young one to sleep. Not unless he needed it.
The chick in his lap yawned, and the elfling echoed it. Letting his eyes finally drift shut before he followed his beloved friend in slumber. With a soft trill, Fawkes grabbed a blanket in his beak and dragged it over. Wordlessly Maglor took it with a nod of thanks and tucked it around the young one. There would be plenty of time later to explore new things.