Chapter 4
Present day
Barty is yet again beating himself up for how he never verbally expressed his love for Regulus. Why did he have to be so fucking emotionally incompetent?
Evan sits alone on the floor of his bedroom just like the day before and the day before that. How could he have let any of this happen?
2 days later
Evan doesn’t want to sound too conspiritational but time is a construct, therefore when Pandora comes in and asks if he knows what day it is the answer is definitely no. However instead of any usual witty comment about time and space, he can’t even bring himself to look in Pandora’s direction. He knows. He may not know the time or the day of the week but he knows what today is. He had gotten an email a few days ago in regards to the piles of legal stuff that had to be cleared. Then he selfishly sent off the preplanned document to Pandora so that she could organise everything.
Okay, admittedly making a document about funeral arangements at 16 with your friends in a completely sincere matter may have been a bit strange. None of them actually thought they would die any time soon but Reg decided one day that is would be a good idea to have a plan. Maybe he would have wanted some things changed as he grew older but he.. He never got the opportunity, so this is what they have.
It's a small gathering, Reg would have hated it nonetheless. The perfect flowers everyone dressed perfectly in their black formal wear. Barty walks in not waiting for everyone else to come to sit in his assigned chair up front. The one time he is early for something had to be this. Oh the irony, Reg was always nagging about his tardiness and now he wasn’t here to see him be on time.
Dorcas and Marlene come next greeting Barty then sitting down. Barty has been to funerals before, he’s been to ones that are celebrations of life where the guests talk and reminisce- this isn’t that. Pandora comes in and his heart almost stops when he sees Evan behind her. Evan’s seat is right next to Barty’s which they are both painfully aware of, he sits down and all they do for a solid 4 minutes is stare at each other. They both look awful, red eyes, dark circles, however all Evan can think is ‘stunning’. Evan berates himself just as Barty is doing about the butterflies fluttering up a storm in his stomach. Now is not the time.
The ceremony is about to begin when Sirius and Remus show up. Sirius in an expensive black suit, face adorned with black sunglasses. He takes them off when he takes his seat next to Evan at the front as well. Evan has to phsycally refrain from throwing up at the sight, his eyes. He looks over at Sirius’ bloodshot wet from tears eyes and all he can think is Regulus. Of course Sirius’ eyes have more blue than grey but they are ever so similar, especially with the new found sorrow now overflowing in Sirius’. Regulus, although a master at tucking emotion away, if close enough to be looking into his eyes you could always see the hint of sorrow.
After Sirius comes James with Lily on his arm. In the original plans James was to sit up front but plans change and so he is sat two behind. The speech said is short and no-one gets up to do their own. Instead they all walk to the next room where there is food which is barely touched. Sirius tries to recount a story about Regulus as a child. How emotional and shy he was but can’t finish is and instead excuses himself, Remus following. James goes to speak evidently uncomfortable displaying such negative emotions but doing nothing to hide them splayed out on his face. Evan pays no attention to whatever James has to say. Instead he goes out to the patio where he finds Barty smoking a cigarette. Barty offers one silently and they sit smoking together. Barty hates to admit that with Evan sitting next to him he is the most at peace as he has been since… They finish their cigarettes and Evan gets up to go. Barty makes a noise in an attempt to speak, he clears his throat and tries again.
“Come back” Barty says like a plea. He’s referring to moving back into their apartment which Barty isn’t sure came across but when Evan responds he can tell Evan knows exactly what he's asking.
Evan turns to face him brows drawn together. “I can’t” He replies then returns inside.
People leave until it's just Sirius, Remus, Pandora, Barty and Evan. Sirius looks as though he wants to say something but Pandora just shakes her head. They leave then Pandora and Evan start to go. Pandora gives Barty a kind smile then is already out the door. Evan lingers a second long enough to hear Barty say behind him, “I miss you Ev”
He turns around and in an almost whisper replies, “I miss you too B.”