can`t stop thinking (about you)
As Mary woke up, she ignored the flutter in her chest and instead focused on how waking up always made her feel: Terrible.
“I hate everyone and everything,“ she said, her voice still hoarse. This managed to make Marlene cackle. She usually thrived off of Mary or Emmeline being honest about things.
„Stop enjoying my misery,“ she said and threw a pillow at her. Her aim was far off as always, but even worse this early. Marlene picked the pillow up and threw it right at Mary, obviously hitting her right in the face. She hadn`t thrown it too forcefully. Maybe this was Marlene`s way of showing mercy.
“Where`s your usual sweetness?“ she asked looking at Mary and still smiling. Mary was now laying her head on the pillow again. Marlene was already up and ready-well she had put on clothes and brushed her teeth. Her hair was still the usual mess it was. Still, Marlene was as energetic as always, already grinning and running around the dorm waiting for the others to finish so they could go to breakfast.
„It`s still asleep, like I should be,“ Mary answered Marlene and forced herself to get up and get ready. Darling. Lily had called her Darling. But Mary wasn`t blushing because of that, no. She was angry at Marlene for throwing a pillow at her, that`s what this was.
On the way to the bathroom she walked past Emmeline who was listening to them while brushing her teeth. She seemed to feel with Mary and smiled at her empathetically. Though she had seemed to forgotten the toothpaste in her mouth and almost spilled some of it on the floor. This atleast managed to make Mary laugh.
Once they had finally gotten ready, they all left together to get breakfast. The great hall was already full of students. Some were stacking their plates with food, others were sitting at their table slouching in their seats. While Emmeline and Marlene went to get food, Mary sat down at their usual table.
Next to her sat other Gryffindors, including the Marauders. There was a lot of things Mary had learned about the people in Hogwarts in her short time here, and one of those things was that, curiously, Marlene and Emmeline tolerated the Marauders outside of the prank war they had going on.
It would be during class that they would complain about how annoying and loud they boys always were just to walk with them after class to complain about the ton of homework Mr.Flittwick had given them. There was also the fact that Marlene and James more often than not had practice together. They were always pushing each other to be faster, better. And of course their friends were there to cheer them on. Today was one of those days, it was Friday and today would be the first match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Emmeline had explained that she normally sat with the marauders during the match.
Sometimes they even sat together during breakfast. Today was apparently one of those days.
„How do you get use to this?“ Mary asked, more to herself than anyone else. She put her head on the table to let it rest for a bit.
She heard James snorting the same time Sirius gave her a very approving grumble. Mary looked up to see Sirius almost fully sleeping in Remus`s lap. Remus didn`t seem to mind.
„You don`t. It`s drugs or death at this point,“ Sirius answers, his voice a bit muffled from speaking into Remus`s arm. „Ohh, new band name! `Drugs or death` that sounds amazing, Moony, doesn`t it?“
Mary couldn`t help but laugh. It proved to her that it was way too early, when she caught herself finding a joke like that funny. Sirius grinned at her through the crook of Remus`s arm who was rolling his eyes.
„So you chose drugs? Sharing is caring, Sirius,“ Mary said jokingly, just as criminally unfunny as Sirius`s joke.
„What are we talking about?“ Marlene asked as she and Emmeline sat down opposite to Mary. They had bought Peter with them who had stacked his plate with pancakes that had Mary contemplating if standing up to get breakfast was worth it after all.
„Drugs or death,“ James answered and Peter chuckled.
„Sounds like a name for a band,“ he said.
„That`s what I said!“
….
„I have literally no idea what is going on right now,“ Remus said.
„Why are they screaming?“ Mary asked.
„I don`t know, but James seems happy,“
„Does this mean they`re winning?“
„Nah, I think that`s just James,“
Mary nodded. She hadn`t known James long, but she was kind of getting there, she thought. Their team seemed to be losing. The team was trying, but it didn`t seem to be working. James was still having the time of his life. Marlene as well, but she was also screaming at everyone.
„I don`t think football is my type of sport,“
„I don`t think any sport is my type of sport,“ Remus confessed.
„I think you`re right, Moony. We wouldn`t want you to have to change into anything other than your grandpa sweaters, right?“ Sirius said.
Mary and Sirius had bonded over their shared hatred of early mornings during breakfast yesterday and Mary really liked him. Still, she was always shocked by how similar and different Sirius and Regulus looked, like an illusion you could never quite figure out. It was the same with the way they acted. Though Mary could sometimes see some of Regulus in Sirius, she couldn`t imagine him ever making a fool of himself like Sirius was doing right now. Then again, she hadn`t seen Regulus in love yet. Love did weird things to people.
Mary shook her head. Her head was thinking weird things again. She needed to stop gushing about love.
Mary told Emmeline she would be right back and stood up to leave the bleachers. She clutched her bag and navigated through all the people that were screaming about the match. Mary turned to the field to see Marlene running towards the goal. It seemed like the right one this time so Mary cheered her on.
She hadn`t spoken to Regulus since the first day, had only seen him in the halways and had greeted him. He had smiled and nodded at her and Mary had appreciated the acknowledgement.
She hadn`t seen him during the match yet, but she was hoping to run into him sometime. Right now she didn`t want to see anyone yet. She went to the gardens where she had met the marauders, sitting down on a bench that was almost hidden behind one of the bushes. It was her favourite.
She put on her headphones to play some of her music.
See, Mary felt that she knew a lot about people and their behaviours. How they sometimes pretended to be someone they weren`t or when they pretended to not think about something. She saw the signs, like avoiding eye contact, evading questions and brushing over topics. Sometimes, when people were hiding something, they would try to distract others and especially themselves by focusing on something else entirely.
But recognising the behaviour and doing something about it were two completely different things, you couldn`t compare them, just like you couldn`t compare Sirius and Regulus. It was easier to pretend.
So, Mary pressed play and listened to her songs, trying to pretend she wasn`t thinking about someone.
She wasn`t very good at it. After ABBA started playing, a band of that a certain someone had slipped the songs into Mary`s self-burned CDs, she gave up.