For Mary

Mary was only halfway to her new school, when she noticed her most prized possession missing.

"We have to turn around," she told her parents, who were sitting in front of her in the car. They were arguing about a wrong turn her dad had taken when Mary interrupted them.

Her mum shared a silent look with her dad before she turned around, but Mary didn`t have time for that look. She needed to find her shoulder bag.

She frantically looked around the car, but her bag was nowhere to be found. Not in the foot well, not on the seat beside her. She even contemplated climbing backwards to get to the trunk, but her Mum put her hand on her knee and made her turn around. She was looking at Mary like she was some kind of wild animal that was trying to escape.

"Mum, please, I-"

"I told you, Mary, we are not going to turn around. Boarding school can be scary, but I assure you-"

"It`s not about that! Mum, my bag it`s-"

But her Mum wasn`t listening. Instead, she looked at her husband and sighed. She was preparing for another speech about all the friends Mary was going to make and how beautiful the boarding school and its surroundings were.

Mary was itching to move her knee, but she refrained and instead turned to look at her little sister, her mum not even noticing that she wasn`t listening.

Her sister`s eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open. Eileen had been asleep ever since they had gotten in the car earlier this morning and Mary hadn`t had the heart to wake her up, not even to ask about her bag. Eileen`s arms were only loosely holding Snuffles, her favourite stuffed animal. Mary adjusted it a bit, so that it wouldn`t fall.
Mary did not understand how she could have forgotten her bag in the first place.
Really, it had been the only thing she needed to take with her. Her mum had practically begged her to pack every item of clothing Mary owned, even though Mary couldn`t care less. In the end it hadn`t fit, and Mary was at least free of some of the clothes she wouldn`t wear anyway. She wouldn`t complain, happy that her mum hadn`t suggested a second suitcase. Really, there had been only one thing she had really wanted to take with her, and now she had forgotten it.

Only in moments like these, when she kept finding herself reaching for her bag when it wasn`t even there, was she reminded of how much she relied on her bag and everything in it.

To occupy herself elsewhere, she played with the rings on her fingers instead.

One thing she had to give to her Mum: The countryside really was something. She had been distracted before, but now that she was really looking, she noticed how beautiful the forest at the side of the road was.

The dark green trees were almost looming over the car, adjusting the mood to their own world.

The only bit of light, blurry because of the raindrops on Mary`s window, was coming from the streetlamp.

It had stopped raining a while ago, but Mary could still hear the tyres running on the wet road. Mary closed her eyes and listened.

Her parents had gone quiet and even her sister had stopped her snoring. Only to listen to the sound that were coming from outside.

Mary woke up about the same time her sister did. She watched her rub the sleep from her eyes and noticed they were still a bit puffy and red. Her little sister hadn`t had talked to her the last few days until the night before.

Mary had heard her crying and found her in front of her bedroom, nose running and eyes watering. Eileen had wanted to keep the silent treatment up, but as soon as she saw her sister, she broke into sobs and hugged her immediately.

Mary had let her sleep in her bed that night, but she hadn`t know what to say to stop her from crying.
She didn`t think there was something she could say.

It had been her parents' idea.

One evening, they sat her down and told her about this "great boarding school" they thought she would "really like". They spoke fast, like they were afraid she was going to interrupt them, occasionally making jokes to "lighten the mood".

Mary had known what this was about. After what happened with her brother, she should have expected it, really, but instead Mary was too stunned to speak.

Her parents had always been clear that they wanted a good education for her. She knew what was expected of her, but Mary hadn`t expected this.

They finished their speech, slightly out of breath and waiting for some kind of reaction. Expecting it. But all Mary did was stand up and walk outside. They hadn`t understand what was going on until Mary was already gone.

When she came back hours later, her parents were hysterical.
Pacing around the room, her mum went on and on about how scared they had been. Mary just let her talk, nodding once in a while. When they were done, she still didn`t say much. She only apologized and asked for the application papers. It was her parents turn to be surprised now. Stunned, they gave her the papers and watched as Mary went upstairs to her room.

She knew what was expected. Had known it her whole life. She had seen it in their faces before Mary told them her grades, had heard it every time they ever so subtly mentioned Mary following in their footsteps, every time she was dragged along to one of their boring parties.

Like us. Be like us.

Until Tom had left. Their laughs at their obnoxious parties had become even more desperate, the grip on her shoulder tighter. They weren`t just mentioning it, Mary's “career” now was all they talked about.
Not like Tom, like us.

The next morning, they acted like nothing had happened. They put on their happy faces and continued to talk about Mary`s new school and how exciting it all was.

Other than Mary, Eileen had been furious. She had made it a point not to talk to anyone for days, not even Mary. She had been, and still was, mad at her. Mary felt bad, but she didn`t really known why. It hadn`t been her idea, had it?

"We´re almost there," her dad interrupted.

Eileen looked at Mary again. She looked sad, but there was something else in her eyes too, something Mary couldn`t quite place.

"Do you really have to leave?" Eileen asked, her eyes not meeting her sister`s.

Mary wanted to cry.

"I really don`t want to," she answered, and her sister let an angry sob out at that.

Mary expected her to go silent again, but instead, her sister hugged her.

"I really don`t want you to, either" Eileen said, and Mary smiled for the first time that day.

Though it really hadn`t really taken long for them to arrive at the station, it did however take her dad ages to actually park the car. His face red and his forehead sweaty, he finally turned off the car and sank back into his seat.

Her parents didn`t move and Mary didn`t either. Eillen was already out of the car when she noticed they weren`t following. Mary`s mum opened the door to speak to her.

"Eileen, why don`t you get your sisters things?" her mum suggested, and Eileen rolled her eyes before she left the car and walked to the trunk.

She got back into the car and Mary knew what was coming.

"Look," her dad said with a serious look on his face and Mary resisted the urge to roll her eyes too, " your little outburst is forgotten, but we rely on you that it won`t happen again".

Little outburst. That`s what you called what happened with Tom too, she thought before she could stop herself.

"Yes," Mary answered, "it won`t happen again."

"We really hope that you write to us, Mary," her mum added.

Mary nodded and tried to keep eye contact, but her mum`s frown didn`t leave her forehead.

Eileen had obviously had enough of their "grown-ups talk". She knocked at the window and threw an annoyed look at her parents.

Mary gladly opened the door. Eileen had gotten her suitcase out of the trunk and was now standing next to it, with the same look that Mary hadn`t been able to place earlier on Eileen`s face.

"What is it?" she frowned, and her little sister winced.

"Please don`t kill me," she said. She walked over to the trunk to open a small box Mary hadn`t noticed in there before.

Her sister opened it to reveal a brown shoulder bag with a small, black star embroidered onto it.

Mary looked at the bag and then at her sister and before she knew it, she was running towards Eileen.

Her sister screamed and ran around the car.

"I am sorry, I didn`t want you to leave and I didn`t know what to do so I-"
"So you took my bag?!" Mary interrupted and her sister winced again.

"I know how much it means to you, but-"

"Oh, do you?!" Mary screamed and before she could do anything else, their parents interrupted.

"Children, please," her dad put one hand on Mary`s shoulder, "we really have to leave now."

Eileen was still looking at Mary, her eyes full of guilt. Mary sighed. She knew how hard this was going to be for Eileen, now that she was left alone, no sibling left. Eileen gave Mary back her bag and turned around to catch up to their parents.
"Eileen, wait,” she stopped her sister. “I`m... I`m sorry."
"It`s fine,” Eileen shrugged her shoulders, “I broke the rule. Don`t touch your bag. It`s not like I haven`t been this angry with you before. Sometimes, when you´re asleep I-"

"No, it`s not about that. I am sorry that I have to leave,” Mary interrupts. “I really, really don`t want to, "

Eileen gave her a small smile and it looked she was going to say something else, but instead she came up to her and hugged her.
"I really don`t want you to either," she whispered into Mary`s ear. Her brown curls were tickling her at the neck.
Mary smiled and let her back down. Before they turned to follow their parents, Mary thought of what her sister had said before.
"Wait, what do you mean, `sometimes when I am asleep`? You what? Eileen, what do you do?" she asked cautiously.
Her sister turned. “I really don`t like it when you eat my pudding,” she said with a straight face and before Mary could ask her to elaborate, Eileen ran to their parents, leaving Mary shocked.
Sisters really are something, she thought, before she ran to catch up with her family, her bag finally back on her shoulder.