Harpy Hare- Yaelokre
“Sirius…” Remus’s tone set off Sirius’s fight or flight response, “Why do you smell like Snape?”
Sirius froze for a split second before his body settled on one option. Flight. As always, when faced with something Sirius feared, he ran.
He bolted from the great hall like a dog with its tail on fire, with no regard for the looks he was getting as he fled. Remus was hot on his heels, Sirius could hear him panting, the exhaustion from the full moon showing as Remus refused to give up. He caught up when Sirius hit the grassy hill in the circle of rune stones, tackling him into the green. He had always been faster than Sirius. The two boys hit the dirt with force, skidding across the grass and leaving green smears on their robes.
“Sirius.” Remus’s voice was low, worried. “What happened?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Rem.” Sirius was shaking, blinking violently to hold back tears as he tumbled over his words to apologise.
“Sirius. What. Happened.” He had a grip on Sirius’s biceps, holding him steady and looking directly at him. Maintaining the eye contact Sirius was desperately trying to avoid.
“I- Fuck. Remus, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I was angry. I- I just. Shit. I knew it was wrong. That’s why I fixed it but- Oh Merlin I fucked up Remus.”
“Sirius. Please just stop apologising and explain.”
Sirius nodded slowly,
“I- Remus. I swear I didn’t mean to, but I told Snape to come to the Whomping Willow last night.”
Sirius watched the emotions that warred across Remus’s face. Confusion, realisation, horror, betrayal, anger. Fury.
“What. Do you mean?” Remus hissed.
“I- I… It was meant to be a joke. A prank. I didn’t mean to Remus I swear.”
“You didn’t mean it? You could have gotten me expelled! You could have gotten me killed for some stupid prank!” He spat.
For a second Sirius thought Remus would hit him. He deserved it.
Instead, he turned and stormed off. Not another word. Sirius stood still for all of five seconds before he crumpled. Before he collapsed to the dirt. Heart-wrenching sobs wracked his body, his lungs screaming as he felt his heart tear itself from him. He was shaking so badly he thought he might be dying. It hurt. Oh gods what had he done?
…
McGonagall found him there ten minutes later.
“Oh, Sirius.” She sighed, “Mr Lupin told me what happened.”
Sirius sniffled,
“I didn’t mean to.” he sounded small. Scared.
“I know. If you had meant to you wouldn’t have stopped Mr Snape.”
“I’m sorry. He hates me. I’ve ruined it all.”
“Sirius, I don’t think Mr Lupin is physically capable of hating you. He would rather chew off his own fingers. But you broke his trust. It will take time.” McGonagall held Sirius as he sobbed into her shoulder, tears soaking her robes. “Come along Sirius, let’s go somewhere more private.”
She helped him stand on shaky legs and walked him towards the stone halls, offering him a handkerchief to wipe his face.
“Classes have started but I’ve had you excused for the day. Come, sit.” They entered her office, and she placed him down in the plush armchair Sirius had claimed as his own the first time he ended up in her office under very different circumstances. McGonagall offered him a ginger newt biscuit which Sirius gladly accepted as his breathing began to even out. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“I swear I didn’t mean to Minnie. I was just so angry. Two nights ago, we got into an argument and Remus said some stuff that upset me. I- I just. I wanted to ignore it so I thought pranking Snape would help bring the group together. I didn’t think it through properly. Oh, gods I could have gotten him killed.” His voice was soft, horrified and McGonagall reached over to place a hand on his shoulder.
“But you didn’t Sirius. You fixed the situation. I will have to give you detentions as you did endanger a fellow student, but I’ll keep them minimal.” She smiled sadly.
“No, I deserve them, Professor.” He hiccupped.
“Sirius, do you want comfort or space right now?”
“Comfort.” He whispered and she stood, making her way around her desk and sweeping him into her arms, wrapping him in emerald velvet. He buried his face into her shoulder again, her familiar scent comforting in a way his own family had never been. She had been his rock since the very first year. A point of comfort and authority. Someone he trusted when everything went to shit. McGonagall was the first person he contacted when he ran away, just to make sure she knew where he was. He loved Minerva like a mother.
“You’re always welcome in my office Sirius.”
…
Sirius had spent the day flying at the Quidditch pitch with the hopes of getting his mind off of everything. When that hadn’t worked, he had gone to the Black Lake, wading into waist depth and wishing his gods damned excuse of a mother had taught him how to swim. He had tried going to the greenhouses, the owlery, the astronomy tower. Even the dam library.
Nothing had worked so he had returned to the common room at midday to Flootalk with Andromeda. They had remained on call for three hours, catching up, sharing advice and ideas, planning a get together. Talking with Andy had helped. It always did.
At five o’clock, Sirius slipped out of the common room just before the halls flooded with kids heading to common rooms before dinner. He had snuck into the kitchens to snatch a couple of bread rolls and apples and a small package of paper-wrapped meat that the house elves had prepared for him which he tucked into his robes pockets, then crept out.
The moment he made it outside into the cool evening air he shifted, bounding through the tall grass, and heading towards the Forbidden Forest. The sun was setting quickly, and Sirius enjoyed the last rays of its warmth as he ran. He broke through the tree line and continued along the familiar trail to the clearing.
The thestrals yipped excitedly when they spotted him. Sirius shifted back and they swarmed towards him, rubbing bony, velvet-skinned heads against him affectionately. He smiled, stroking them. It was peaceful here.
Sirius had been able to see the thestrals ever since his mother had tortured one of the House elves to death in their garden. It had been awful. High-pitched sounds of agony that a human could never make. His mother casting the cruciatus curse repeatedly. He had hidden Estrella the moment the curses began to fly so she wouldn’t get hit. He had been nine.
His mother had continued cursing the elf and he had tucked himself under the tea table with his sister. A grey head had peaked under the table, soft skin stretched so thin over bone it was almost translucent. Its beaklike mouth had nipped at Sirius’s hand where he still held the crushed remains of a scone and he had opened his palm, allowing the thestral to lick up the crumbs with a quiet giggle as its tongue tickled his hand. He had turned to look at Estrella to see what she thought of the creature, but she was looking through it as if she couldn’t see the beast at all. That was when Sirius realised what it was, what it meant.
Sirius shuddered at the memory, pulling the packaged meat out of his pocket. He clicked at the thestrals, and they followed the instructions he had taught them, shuffling back to allow the buck through. He was the oldest of the herd, quite possibly one of the eldest creatures in the entire forest. Onyx antlers branched from his skull, draped in moss and cobwebs. Impressive was the wrong word for him, the buck was majestic.
Sirius offered him the first and largest piece of meat. For being so mysterious, thestrals had their own culture and traditions and if you didn’t respect them, you may lose a finger or two. The buck sniffed the flesh before snapping it up with a satisfied grumble then nodded, allowing Sirius to offer the next pieces of meat to the foals. Once they had been fed, he offered the other pieces out and they were shared evenly through the herd along with the apples.
Sirius sat against a log to eat his bread rolls with a few scraps of meat that had survived the thestral onslaught. A foal wobbled over to him and flopped down with its head on his lap. It chirped meekly.
“Tsk tsk. Don’t you go trying to mooch off of me little one. Look at you, you’re very well fed thank you.” He chuckled, looking down at the head in his lap which looked back with imploring eyes. He didn’t notice the other foal creeping up behind him to snatch the bun from his hand with a shriek of glee, echoed by the one who had been in his lap moments before, apparently as a decoy. Sirius gave his own screech as he chased after the foals with a laugh.