chapter seven
June 19
“Good morning everyone.” Professor Moody grunts as he walks into the lab, and they all greet him back listlessly. He was always coming in with an absurd amount of stuff in his hands, stuff that couldn't be shoved into his overfilled messenger bag.
“Well I hope you’ve all used the last week to work on your projects, because todays lab is going to be a little different. We have a—” he coughs, struggling to say the next word”—‘special’ guest coming in during the last thirty minutes of the lab to give a small presentation, so use the first part of the lab to get things done”
The students erupts in curious whispers, and Marlene leans over to their side of the bench itching to join the discourse.
“Who do you think it is?” she asks eagerly.
“Dunno, but Moody doesn’t seem all that impressed.” Dorcas says and starts to set up her equipment, not at all caring about the mystery guest.
“When have you ever seen Moody impressed?” Remus scoffs, recalling their last presentation, and he begins to unload his tools as well.
He’d spent most of the last two weeks holed up in James’ apartment working tirelessly with Peter on their project. James’ living room had become an almost inaccessible cave of tools and half eaten candy bars, becoming even worse than Lily and Mary’s horror show of a living room. But James didn’t seem to mind at all, in fact, he actually liked the company. He was the perfect host, making them tea or cooking for them even when they were too cranky to deserve it.
And because they were always working in James’ place, it meant he had to see Sirius every day. He saw him so much it stopped being weird. Remus knew Sirius longer now than he did when he was Spider-Man, even though what he knew of him wasn’t nearly the same. And anytime he felt like he could finally put that week behind him, Sirius would do something to remind him that it was all really real.
He’d come to realize that anytime Sirius was going to meet a “friend”, it meant he was going to Asad tower to see Spider-Man, or at least sit down on the rooftop for a couple of hours and wait, hoping Remus would eventually come.
He never does of course.
Not anymore. Not since they were sipping coffee back to back on the ledge of the rooftop two weeks ago, blissfully unaware that they would both really meet each other later that day.
Yet Sirius still goes. Like clockwork. Every day after midnight or sometime during the morning, never once missing a day.
He’d be sitting in the apartment, happily engaged in conversation with them, and then suddenly get up as soon as it starts nearing midnight and say he’s meeting a friend, and James would be confused because Sirius has never mentioned this friend, and then Remus would shrug and pretend he wasn’t aching on the inside, guilt tearing through his bones.
He’d hope every time Sirius would eventually give up, that maybe this would be the last time he’d storm out on them after the internship or while they’re at James’ house. But he never does, and the next day he’d say the same thing.
I’m going to meet a friend.
He shakes the memory of that phrase out of his head.
*
Because they were so ahead of everyone, Remus and Peter spent the remainder of the lab distracting Dorcas and Marlene and only pretending to work anytime Moody passed by their bench. There was nothing they could do here that they couldn’t do in the comfort of James’ apartment, so they just spent time messing with the girls until there was only thirty minutes left for the lab.
A knock on the door breaks everyone’s focus, and they all go quiet. They wait for the unknown presenter to walk in, but the person who does is Sirius.
He struts in with perfectly spaced steps dressed in a black velvet suit and trousers, looking every part the heir of Starcorp, his posture straight and his head held high, but he looks nothing like the Sirius he’s used to. He looks lifeless
His eyes are dark and cold, and his hair is slicked back away from his face, not a single strand out of place, and he walks up to the podium completely missing Remus’ worried stare.
“Good morning.” He begins, his voice monotone “I’m going to be talking to you about the benefits of working at Starcorp after you graduate.”
The whole class looks around confused, wondering if this was another prank and waiting for the other shoe to drop, because why would the person that disrupted class only a few weeks ago come back to praise the company?
“What the hell, he’s the special guest?” Dorcas hisses, unamused.
“Shut up.” Remus sneers at her, not wanting to hear anyone but Sirius talk.
“For the past fifty years, Starcorp has been enhancing the lives of millions of people. Through their technological innovations and medical research, they’ve helped countless communities thrive, and with your help, we can—uh—”. Sirius continues.
Remus can feel something suffocating him as he speaks
“With your help we—Fuck—we can continue expanding and helping other c-communities as well.” He stutters then goes quiet, closing his eyes. His fingers turn white around the handles of the podium and the skin around his eyebrows were scrunched in distress.
But then he takes a deep breath and turns his nose up, ready to continue his act again, and he looks at Moody with an expression twisted with arrogance. A face so foreign to him.
“I’m done, I’m not going to continue.” His voice cracks slightly, but his eye contact never wavers.
“All right, you can go” Moody says sympathetically, and Sirius storms out of the lab, posture stiffer than ever, and it seemed like he was going to walk out whether Moody allowed him to or not.
The room goes quiet, and they all look around baffled,
“That was uncomfortable to watch,” Marlene grimaces and Dorcas nods in agreement, both their eyes still on the podium.
“What was that all about,” Peter whispers, low enough just for him to hear.
“I don’t know” Remus frowns. Is that what Sirius would do for the handful of times he’d see him in a suit? The times he’d come to the roof drunk and miserable? And he looked miserable, he looked like he was choking around those words, words he’d otherwise never say, in clothes he’d otherwise never wear.
And suddenly Remus couldn’t stand the sound of the whispering students in the lab. He could hear them speculating, wondering why Sirius Black of all people couldn’t continue praising his own fathers company, and he could feel the anger start to bubble in the middle of his chest.
He stands up and slams his hands down on the bench, which causes everyone to go quiet and turn to him. Which is good because they aren’t talking about Sirius anymore, but bad because now their attention and searing eyes are on him.
“I-I need to go to the restroom.” he stutters, trying to sound firm, but his statement comes out more like a suggestion.
“Sure Mr. Lupin.” He answers wearily.
He stumbles quickly out the door and into the hallway, and he finds Sirius waiting by the elevator, head leaning against the wall and a cigarette in his mouth.
“Sirius.” He calls to get his attention.
He looks up and gives him a flat smile.
“Hey Remus.”
“Are you okay?” he earnestly asks when he reaches him.
“Yeah Why wouldn’t I be?” He smiles again, and it was so painfully easy for Remus to see through his front. He removes the cigarette from his mouth and holds it out for Remus to take, and surprisingly he does.
“What was all that?” he asks, taking a drag from the dwindling cigarette and passing it back.
“Penance.” Sirius replies, and Remus feels even more confused than before, but the elevator dings before he has the chance to ask what he could possibly mean.
“Come on lets go.” Sirius says and steps into the elevator.
Remus forgets that he has to go back to the lab and follows Sirius blindly into the elevator, which seems like the easiest choice to make.
Sirius presses the button for the sixtieth floor and Remus looks at him confused.
“We aren’t leaving?” he asks curiously.
“No,” He smiles and says, “we’re going on a little tour.”, and Remus nods, being okay with whatever it was that Sirius wanted to do.
“Hey, um” Sirius straightens himself and takes a step closer to Remus. “Can you mess up my hair for me? I’d do it but I hate the texture of gel.”
Sirius’ hair was slicked back and combed aggressively away from his face. Whoever did his hair used an insane amount of gel, and if their goal was to make it look wet and slimy, they definitely succeeded. It weighed his hair down so much that it made his face look even more striking than it already is.
Remus hated it.
“Yeah sure” he replies and brings his fingers up to his scalp, and this, Remus realizes, is the first time he ever touches Sirius.
His heart pounds loudly against his chest in an almost nauseating way at the sudden realization, and he hopes Sirius doesn’t notice it.
He won’t know who you are from just your fingers he repeats to himself, HE WONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE FROM JUST YOUR FINGERS.
He digs his fingers under Sirius’ stiff strands of hair and ruffles them until they separate from each other. He starts with the hair near his forehead and makes his way down to the nape of his neck until his hair is completely fluffed out. His skin is warm against his fingers, and smooth. Weirdly smooth, like butter and cream, and it heavily contrasted against the roughness of Remus’ hands.
Sirius closes his eyes, relaxed. He looks so peaceful like this.
Remus looks away twitchingly and gives Sirius’ hair a final sloppy shake just to be extra sure that the gel cast is gone, which causes all of Sirius’ hair to fall across his face
He removes his fingers from the back of his head and places his palm on Sirius’ forehead, lightly pushing him back.
“You can open your eyes now you twat.” He says and places his arms back down by his sides, flexing his hands in an attempt to subdue the weird feeling in his chest.
“That feels a lot better, thanks.” Sirius beams, shaking his hair aggressively. It was still a little shiny, but most of the crunch had been ruffled out and his hair wasn’t so stiff and wet-looking anymore. He pushes his hair back and attempts to style it, tucking most of it behind his ear save for the two strands he leaves to frame his face.
That looks more like him.
“You know if this engineering stuff doesn’t work for you, out you’d have a promising career as a massager.” Sirius jokes and leans against the elevator walls.
“A masseur.” Remus corrects him.
“Right, look at you being all fancy.” Sirius smiles
“Shut up” he says, not meaning it at all.
The elevator dings and the doors open onto the sixtieth floor. He couldn’t tell what this floor is used for since there was only a single light bulb illuminating everything, and I didn’t seem like anyone else was here. They step out into the dim corridor and Remus looks around for clues as to what this floor could be.
“I’ve never been here before” Remus says curiously.
“They don’t show these parts in the public tour.” Sirius replies. He places a hand on the wall and walks forwards, feeling around the corridor until he stops by a door to their right.
“Here it is, come on.” He says and pushes the door open, “It’s a little dark, give me your hand”
He reaches for Remus’ hand and guides him inside, and even though he didn’t need it, Remus felt like he would go blind if Sirius let go.
“Ready?” he asks when they reach the middle of the room and he pulls down a lever before Remus has the chance to reply.
Just as quickly as blinking, the room becomes engulfed in a bright and vibrant hologram of the solar system. Large colorful planets that were double the size of their bodies floated around them. Mercury was drifting by Sirius, and Earth by him. Planets that were millions of miles away from him, tickling his ears and orbiting his chest. And in the middle of it all, just as beautiful and bright as the rest, hung the sun.
He stands frozen in place, his eyes so close to bulging out of their sockets as he tries to take it all in.
“This—this is insane.” He gapes and remembers to breathe again. He drops Sirius’ hands and reaches up to touch Jupiter, his fingers swinging through the light.
“It was going to be used for an exhibit years ago, but they ended up scrapping it, and I guess everyone else seemed to forget it exists.”
“But you didn’t” Remus says as he walks through the planets overwhelmed.
“How can I” he exasperates.
Remus moves through the sun to reach Mars and Venus, both glowing just as fiercely.
“I don’t even know what to say” Remus marvels.
“I’m glad you thinks its as cool as I do”
“Cool doesn’t even begin to describe what this is”
“Let me show you something else.” Sirius says giddily and presses a button that starts to make the lights in the room dance again.. They were soaring through the solar system, light beams rushing past them at an immeasurable speed, and he isn’t even sure where the cold air that’s blowing at them is coming from, but it was definitely adding to the experience. And when everything slows down, he finds himself surrounded by bright golden spheres of light.
It felt like he’d just been sucked into the deepest parts of the universe.
“We just travelled through space.” Remus exclaims, blinking as he tries to adjust to the brighter lights.
“Yup. We’re eight light years away.” He looks at him proudly.
Sirius places his finger on a sphere above them, the one glowing the brightest, and Remus immediately knows what it is.
“That’s me.” he says and looks up at his star with fondness in his eyes. “Don’t we look alike?” He jokes.
“This is amazing.” He says and reaches to touch it as well, and the golden light consumes his fingers.
“Yeah it is.”
His eyes land on Sirius in the middle of the star, golden white lights circling him like a halo, and he just looks so celestial, so bright, more golden than the star, and Remus believes so firmly that he was named after something he embodied perfectly.
Just pure golden starlight.
He feels like the air has been knocked out of his lungs, his senses confused once again.
Sirius reaches for the button, which snaps Remus from his trance. “Come on lets go back, my stars not as fun as the rest of the planets.” He says, and Remus stops himself from disagreeing.
They travel back eight light years again, and Remus starts tracing the rings of Saturn
“Which ones your favorite?” Remus asks him.
The answer is ready on his tongue. “The moon, it’s always the moon.” He replies.
And Remus looks at the little gray ball, completely overshadowed by the large and colorful planets, by the rings of Saturn and Uranus, by the redness of Mars, and he scowls. It wasn’t even a planet. Even Jupiter’s moons looked more interesting.
“The moon’s pretty small compared to the rest.” He argues.
And Sirius goes quiet for a little before he speaks, eyes locked on the floating rock.
“Yeah, but it knows me better than the rest ever could”
And Remus thinks he knows exactly what he means.
*
Remus barely made it home after the internship before he had to suit up and catch up to an active car chase.
The driver inside the car was going fifty miles in a street filled with cars and pedestrians because his breaks suddenly stopped working, and the cops had no safe way of stopping him without risking the lives of everyone around them.
He’d reached the car while it was going sixty, swinging beside it until he found the right opportunity to jump onto its hood. The man inside was pale and had tears running down his cheeks, gripping the steering wheel with shaky hands as he tried to steady the car.
Only his feet steadied him on the hood, and he prayed the grip was enough to keep him from tumbling onto the street.
“Hey, don’t worry alright, you’re okay!” Remus shouted loud enough for the man to hear. “I’m gonna stop the car but I need you to keep your hands on the steering wheel!”
And when the man shakingly nodded, he gave him a thumbs up and rammed his fist straight through the hood, not even thinking twice as he punched his way into the engine, his fist bloodied by the gears crushing his fingers.
But it stopped the car, which was the only thing he could care to think about in that moment.
“T-Thank you, t-thank you s-so much.” The man had said after he stumbled out of the car, tears covering his face. Then he wrapped his trembling arms around Remus and hugged him tightly. “You saved m-my life”
Remus froze at the unwelcomed touch but pushed down the uncomfortable feeling, allowing the man to hug him for as long as he needed. For as long as it mattered.
And only until he let go and the cops arrived did Remus go back home and take the nap he’d been wanting to take since he woke up, completely ignoring the bloody fist that was staining his sheets red.
When he came to later, he felt as if three days had passed, but no, it was still only six o’clock in the afternoon. His hand was healed by then, so he stumbled out of his room in search of anything that looked edible, and when Mary suggested they go out to eat, he was the first one ready by the door.
The amount of food Remus has to consume on a daily basis is exceedingly greater than any normal person. The spider bite seemed to triple his hunger, which was a lot for a then growing sixteen year old. He ate any and everything Poppy bought, which was actually the reason he had to get his first job. They just couldn’t afford the amount of food Remus needed anymore. And while Poppy blamed it on his growth spurt, Remus knew it was because of his new powers.
But his appetite steadied over the past three years. He learned to control his intake in a way that satisfied him but also kept food in the fridge. He has to overcompensate for the insane amount of calories he loses every day swinging around like he was training for the Olympics.
“God, Remus you should’ve seen it today.” Mary exclaims with her hands around her bowl of pasta, leaning over the table eagerly. “Three guys came waltzing into the casting room today wearing sweatpants! No I’m serious! And I can accept sweatpants if they’re styled well, really, I’m not unfair, but when it looks like your knees are about to bulge out of their sockets because the fabric is so stretched, then that’s where I draw the line.”
“And they came in together like triplets, like it was scarily rehearsed, I felt like I was watching freakishly realistic robots attempt a catwalk.” Lily adds, shuddering.
“It’s because they all had blue eyes, trust me that can put anyone off, and the creepy kind of blue that feels like they’re staring straight into your soul.” Mary emphasizes, using her fork as a pointer.
“So you didn’t cast them?” Remus chimes in, trying to follow along. They were in a small Italian kitchen that was mostly empty, slurping on their pastas, and while the girls were still halfway through their first plate, Remus was already on his third round of Bolognese.
Lily shakes her head “No we cast them. We control the outfits so the show will be sweatpants free.”
“And we can use contacts if needed.” Mary suggests, shrugging, and both Lily and Remus nod in agreement.
“So when is the show?” Remus asks them, wiping his hands. He’s finally done with his third plate and is considering ordering something sweet now.
“Next month. You’ll come Remus right?” Mary asks, hopefully, “I know we couldn’t convince you to model for us, which I think is a loss for the fashion industry, but coming to watch is still an option.”
“Of course I’m coming,” He reassures her. Sure he wouldn’t walk in a fashion show, that’s something he wouldn’t be caught dead doing. All those eyes staring at you as you walk across what feels like a never ending platform is absolute nightmare fuel to him. But watching his friend’s shows is something he loves doing. He’d never missed any of Lily’s shows, and this would be his first time watching one that Mary worked on as well, so it hadn’t even crossed his mind to miss it.
“Oh wonderful! You have to see what we’ve been working on for the past few weeks, it’s gonna blow your mind.” She says and makes an explosion symbol with her hands.
“And you can bring your internship friends too” Lily exclaims.
“I could tell them yeah, but sweatpants with stretched knees make up most of their closet.” He snorts.
They grimace, “Oh well, we’ll make an exception for you Loopy.” Mary says reluctantly.
They leave as soon as they finish their meals, Remus taking his tiramisu to go. He had to get to James and Peter’s to continue working on their project, and since the girls weren’t ready to go home yet, they decided to accompany him on his walk there.
It was nearing sunset, and the city was bustling with noise and people, the cooler afternoon weather pushing everyone out of their homes like animals after hibernation. The girls had their arms locked together and he trailed behind them smiling, watching as they skip across the sidewalk. It was clearly annoying everyone else around them, but they didn’t seem to notice.
Once James and Peter’s building comes into view, he sees the two boys walking towards it carrying several tote bags
“Shit. Is that James Potter?” Lily freezes mid skip, squinting when she notices them, and Mary’s face lights up as she notices them as well.
“James!” Mary shouts, waving her hands in the air trying to get his attention, and both Lily and Remus turn to her confused.
“What the hell, you knows James?” he asks Mary and Lily’s head snaps up, this time at him.
“You know James too?” Lily asks, eyebrows twisting up in surprise.
“Yeah? Wait how do you know him.” he flips the question back to her, both puzzled now, but she doesn’t have time to respond before James and Peter walk briskly up to them.
James looks as confused as ever seeing the three of them together, a bewildered smile on his face. “Mary? Lily? What are- what are you guys doing here!?” he excitedly asks.
“You guys know each other?” Peter, who knew none of the girls, asks.
May nods. “We’ve been going to the same Mosque since we were babies!” She exclaims. “I’m Mary”
“I’m Peter” he replies.
“And that’s Lily, my tutor.” James says to Peter, and both boys stare at him dumbfounded.
“She’s your tutor!?” they yelp simultaneously.
“Yeah? She’s the one who crocheted that beanie I showed you yesterday Pete.” James says.
Remus and Mary turn to each other knowingly, and Lily notices. She pinches their arms discreetly and gives them a warning stare, her face burning red.
They both twist their lips to prevent a smile from forming.
“Well it’s nice to meet you Peter.” Lily says hurriedly “You guys have fun, me and Mary have to go home now, you know, emergency school stuff.” She grabs Mary’s hand, ready to drag her away.
“Wait what sch-“ Mary attempts to ask, but Lily just pinches her again which causes her to hiss under her breath.
“Hey, wait, why don’t you guys come in for a bit?” James shyly asks, staggering up to them as they both start to walk away. “Um I brought some snacks and stuff.” He lifts his tote bag to show them.
“That’s nice thank you, but maybe another time. Bye now!,” Lily gives him a tight smile and continues to walk backwards, Mary twitching confusedly in her grasp.
“I- I’ll see you next week!” he shouts desperately at her, and Lily just smiles back at him and nods. He watches her disappear around the block, craning his neck to catch a last glimpse, and when she’s truly gone, he punches Remus on the shoulder.
“Ow what the hell?” He says dramatically, even though the punch felt like a soft tap.
“How do you know her?” James blurts.
“Uh we’ve known each other since middle school; We live together.” Remus furrows his brows and says.
“And you didn’t think to mention that?”
“I did! I told you I have a roommate, why does it even matter?”
“You didn’t say it was Lily Evans!” he yelps.
“I didn’t even know you know her!” Remus barks back.
“So are you guys you know, a thing, like is she your girlfriend?” he mumbles lowly.
Remus lets out a chuckle “Lily is not my girlfriend.” He snorts.
“She’s not?” He asks, visibly relaxing.
“No you nut job,” He flicks his forehead, and James looks back longingly at the place Lily disappeared behind, rubbing his forehead.
“Alright come on, Sirius is waiting for us upstairs.” Peter says, standing between the two, and all three of them squint knowingly at each other, then zoom up the stairs, wordlessly agreeing to race to the door. Peter ends up winning.