chapter four
May 27
The first thing Remus did when he arrived home was shower. He’d stripped out of his grimy bloody suit and welcomed the scorching hot water onto his body. He’d spent a while in the shower, getting all the dried blood off his skin, rubbing it red and raw. That was always the worst part. The aftermath of fighting. Desperately trying to rid his body of the after-effects, even after his wounds are gone. And when he stands there, unclothed in the shower trying to get clean, he knows he is never truly purged of the blood, whether it’s his or theirs. He tries to drown the feeling out, but it always crawls back up and captures him by the throat.
He rubs his arm discreetly now that he’s lying on the floor with his head on Lily’s thigh. She was stitching the rips in his suit, one of the countless things she does to help him. He listens to the sound of the needle threading the fabric and it soothes his jumbled brain. There was a Beatles record spinning softly in the corner of the living room, and Remus finally felt calm enough to relax. No one was after him here.
“What should I pack for next week.” He asks her. Lily’s reaction to finding out Remus got the internship was actually relief, mostly for the fact that he was now employed and wouldn’t be moping around the apartment anymore.
“Pack? it isn’t sleepaway camp.”
“I know, but like should I take wires, batteries, snacks; are they even going to feed us there?”
“I sure hope a multi-billion dollar corporation can feed a bunch of broke college students.” She scoffs.
“Right yeah”
The quiet in the flat has him lightly dozing off on her thighs and the ceiling starts to distort above him the longer he stares at it. Dancing colorfully and blurring his eyesight. He fiddles with his fingers and starts to decipher the images he sees. A worm. A circle. A star.
Sirius.
Remus forgot how it felt like to talk to someone other than Lily so openly while he’s in the suit. His social life is nonexistent when he’s Spider-Man, and he likes it that way. Spider-Man isn’t him. It’s an alter ego. He doesn’t exist in the same realm as Remus. He doesn’t have a personality, or hobbies or a life. He’s just a distant extension of him. An extra limb.
Which is why he was so protective of the roof. No one can perceive him there. No one can give him a nickname or make him feel like a real person. He’s just a caricature of safety to people.
And Remus hates small talk. Really. It makes him uncomfortable. But Sirius doesn’t small talk. Sirius talks big and loud. His invasive manner made all his defenses fall. Remus had always been hyperaware of everything around him. He knows what to expect. What’s going to come after. But not with Sirius.
And it felt refreshing to him. The roof was his place to brood without judgement, a place that was so high and safe. But Sirius kicked the door down and brought a little bit of discomfort into it, and Remus just wasn’t prepared for it in the least.
He gets up after Lily finishes fixing the suit, getting ready to head to bed. Lily grabs a beanie she’d been working on from the couch. It was a red and orange one. She hadn’t made him a beanie with those colors yet.
“Try this on and tell me if it fits your head” she throws it at him, and he catches it and places it over his head. It fits perfectly.
“Is it for me?”
“Didn’t know you had school pride.”
“It’s not so much as school pride as it is my love for beanies.” He replies.
“No it’s not for you.”
“Who’s it for then.” He asks. Lily’s circle of friends is just as small as his, so he couldn’t think of anyone else she could give it to, and he knows Mary wouldn’t be caught dead wearing school colors.
“I’m—not sure yet.” She says and looks away from him, which was a weird reaction coming from her. He squints at her, confused, and she just shrugs, so he throws the beanie back to her so she can finish it. There was no need to pry into something she was clearly not ready to tell him yet, so he just wishes her a goodnight, and from the comfort of his sheets, he hears Lily put on a new record. He lets the sound of Stevie Nicks send him peacefully to sleep.
*
June 2
“Absolutely not”
“Come on please, I’ll hold on real tight.”
Remus was sitting across from Sirius on the floor of Asad Tower’s rooftop trying to shut down his pleas for a flight across the city.
On Remus’ back.
While he swings between buildings with nothing for Sirius to grip on except the slippery spandex on his back.
“You’re crazy.”
It was one of the summer’s cloudier days, and with an assortment of crisps and sweets in front of them, it felt like they had nothing but time on their hands.
“Listen I have a fool proof plan alright, wait wait just listen, I’ll jump on your back, lock my legs together over your stomach and lock my arms around your neck. Nothing could go wrong.”
“Everything could go wrong! you could choke me, and we would both die.”
“So your spider powers don’t give you an extra nose that lets you breath from your arm or something.”
“No Sirius they don’t”
“Don’t act like that was a stupid question you shoot fiber out of your wrists” he swings his half-eaten gummy worm in front of Remus’ face for emphasis.
Remus had been frequenting the rooftop more often since the bank robbery six days ago. He’d actually been coming every day. Sometimes even more than once a day.
Each day Remus would climb up to the roof, uncharacteristically eager every time. Whether he’d see Sirius during the night or early in the morning, the feeling would be the same. His eagerness to be there had surprisingly overshadowed the ringing voice in his mind telling him that he was doing something wrong.
The day after the robbery, Remus had no idea why he ended up going back to the roof top, but Sirius was there, and he was back to wearing his normal clothes. Normal for him. A leather jacket and a band tee, and Remus smiled because Sirius looked comfortable again, even if it meant wearing a jacket in ninety degree weather.
On the third day, Sirius came in the morning, which Remus wasn’t expecting. He’d brought a large cup of coffee and two paper cups. It’s always either early in the morning or late at night when they see each other. And while Remus is always first to the rooftop after dawn, Sirius likes it more after midnight. So they both wait for each other every time.
And he doesn’t know why he waits. He doesn’t know why he gets up early the morning to swing to the roof. Maybe it’s because he wakes up every day and Lily is already at school, and the flat is empty and dark, and he doesn’t really have anyone he could call up and hang out with. But Sirius is there, and Sirius likes to talk, which distracts Remus from having to think about anything else.
So that day, Sirius and Remus sat for hours talking about the most insignificant things. No one was waiting for him, or asking for him or needing him, and when he got home that night, he’d realized he hadn’t even taken his scanner with him.
On the fourth day Sirius started to suggest some nicknames for Remus. None of them he agreed with. There was Red because of his suit, and blu also because of his suit, but minus the E because it’s just cooler that way. So they decided to table it for another day. Remus had ignored him anytime he called him Edward Cullen, so Sirius ditched it and started making a list of other options.
The fifth day was different. On the fifth day Remus was patiently sitting and waiting, and Sirius stumbled in drunk and red eyed, his eyes pooling with tears. It was late at night when he’d finally arrived, wobbling towards Remus like a zombie.
Remus had jumped up in a panic to help steady him before he could trip. He’d sat him down on the floor and gave him water to try to sober him up. There was something pulling at Remus’ heart that night. He didn’t know if it was worry or fear. On that day, Sirius wasn’t wearing his leather jacket. He was wearing a black button up with black trousers. After Sirius sobered up a little, he sat down against the wall with Remus only inches away from him. They didn’t talk much. They just sat there until Sirius’ head started to lull. And when they both eventually left the roof, Remus silently hoped Sirius wasn’t going back to the place that caused him to drink so heavily.
Today, Sirius walked in like the night before never happened. He was pink faced and smiling, and Remus was trying hard to hide his concern.
“You’ve asked nothing but stupid questions.”
Sirius reaches for the bag of crisps in front of Remus, and he notices his shoulder shift uncomfortably backwards. The slightest reflex, yet Remus notices it right away.
“Sirius.” Remus casually says.
“Yeah”
“What happened to your shoulder?” Remus knows it’s not supposed to be any of his business, but the curiosity was gnawing its way through his skin. Sirius continues eating his crisps, his demeanor composed and steady. He doesn’t seem at all surprised by the question.
“I fell.”
“You’re lying.”
He lifts his head and looks at Remus with a challenging expression. He puts down the gummy worm and starts pulling at the strand of hair that fell across his face.
“Would it make a difference knowing.”
He doesn’t know how to answer that question. Would it make a difference? Would he be able to do anything about it if someone was hurting him?
Yes he would. Of course he would. It’s what he does. It why he wakes up every day and puts on his suit. He would break whoever’s arm it was that hurt him. He’d do it for anyone.
“Yes it would”
“Not to me.”
The change in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. He’s grown familiar to whatever it is he was feeling, and Remus is unprepared. Powerless. He doesn’t know what he can do to help, and Sirius doesn’t seem to be asking for any either.
“Anyway, I’ve finally got it.”
Remus is pulled out of his thoughts when Sirius changes the subject. His face contorts into the bubbly expression he’d been looking at just a minute before, and Remus has no time to catch up.
“Got what?”
“Mars.”
“Mars?”
“That’s what I’m going to call you”
Remus furrows his brows and pulls out a gummy worm from the packet that was in Sirius’s hand. He motions for Sirius to turn his face away while he lifts his mask up to eat it, and Sirius takes that request very seriously, turning his whole upper body away from him.
“Why Mars?” he asks.
He lets out a small chuckle and starts to sing, “Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with weird and Gilly” He falls back onto the concrete, eyes closed and laughing through the song. “And the spider from mars, he played it left hand.”
Of course Sirius would find a way to include Bowie in his nickname. It’s so him, and Remus knew he had no room to complain now.
“You can look.”
Sirius opens one eye and looks up at him, hair splayed wildly on the floor. “But made it too far. Became the special man, then we were Ziggy’s band” he continues, hands shot in the air for the dramatics.
“Okay alright, I guess it could work” Remus says, faking annoyance.
“But it suits you doesn’t it, you’re a spider-man from mars” Sirius says, like he’s trying to get Remus to approve of the nickname.
“With God given ass?” Remus jokingly asks, which makes Sirius burst out laughing.
“With God given ass.”
*
June 3
It’s the morning of his first day at Starcorp and Remus doesn’t wake up. He doesn’t need too. He hadn’t even fallen asleep. He was too jittery and too nervous to. Remus expected the week before to drag on, but he’d been too distracted, and it hit him like a bus the night before that he hadn’t even prepared anything yet.
He was told in the email that he didn’t need to bring anything, but what is anything really? Anything felt like everything and Remus was just too nervous, so he threw everything into his bag, a flashlight, double A batteries, an extra shirt. Then he took a long look at the inside of his bag and dumped everything out because what was he thinking, so he just threw himself in bed and tossed and turned until the alarm clock he’d been staring at all night started to ring.
He was too awake.
He got out of bed, got dressed, swung across the ceiling to let off steam, which is something that always creeps Lily out, then he was on his way to Starcorp.
It didn’t take Remus long once he’d stepped out of the elevator and onto the twelfth floor of the building to try and suppress the excitement forming in his throat. He fiddles with the badge the front desk gave him and follows the group of young interns all crowding around the entrance of the lab.
The short stubby man with an eye patch that was giving them the tour walks to the front of the door and takes a dominating stance in front of them. He was the technician that was supposed to welcome them to the building, but it was hardly a welcome. It was more like a forced reception. He introduces himself as Alastor Moody and starts to talk about the lab.
“Okay everyone, I need you all to remember the way to this lab because this is where you’re going to be spending most of your time. Once I open this door, I don’t want you touching anything until after I’ve finished giving you the safety protocols. You’ll each be assigned a partner and a bench after we finish the tour and you’ll both be working on assignments together until your internship ends, am I clear?” Alastor announces sternly, and the twenty interns nod in agreement.
The tech turns around and enters a 4-digit number into the keypad. He makes sure to tell them to memorize it because they’ll be doing their assignments outside if they forget it. The doors slide open, and they all enter quietly and carefully into the lab. The lab looks like nothing Remus has ever seen before. It was painted top to bottom in a bright white color that looked weirdly aseptic. There were ten benches spaced evenly around the room, fully stocked with countless supplies that the interns might use, and in one corner of the wall there was a whiteboard waiting patiently to be written on.
When the lab technician finishes explaining the lab regulations, while not so subtly threatening to kick them out if they break them, he points to a sheet of paper pinned to the door.
“You’ll find your assigned partners and benches there. I’ll give you ten minutes to find your names and seats.” Alastor says and stomps aside to let the interns view the paper.
Remus hovers behind them trying to get a closer look at the paper, but the swarm of interns cover his view. He tries to shimmy in between them until he’s finally close enough to find his name.
Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Bench Three
Remus starts looking for this Peter person, and after every pair finds their benches, only one person is still standing next to the paper, looking expectantly at Remus. He was a short mousy man, wearing a pair of older rectangular glasses and clutching on his bag like it could run away from him at any moment.
“You must be Peter.”
“Yes that’s me, Peter, hello.”
“Hey, I’m Remus”
“Yes, I saw your name on the paper.” Peter fidgets with his fingers while he talks but simultaneously makes intense eye contact with Remus, which made him confused about where Peter stood emotionally.
“Sure, I saw the paper too, let’s go find our bench.”
Peter seems nervous, even more so than Remus, which he didn’t even think was possible. Each row has two benches and theirs was in the second row, and on the bench next to theirs sat two ambitious looking girls who already had their lab coats on.
There was a box on the top of their bench that says Do Not Open and he assumes it has to do with their first task. Perfect. Remus wanted to waste no time, he just wanted to get started straight away, not even wanting to listen to the rest of instructions, but he had a feeling Peter wasn’t going to let that happen. He looked like he followed rules a little too closely, which made Remus want to roll his eyes a little.
“So what are you studying.” Remus asks, attempting to be social.
“I’m majoring in electrical engineering, and I’m currently doing a minor in Arabic studies and statistics.” Remus takes a hard look at Peter. This man cannot be more than twenty years old. Two minors and an ongoing degree is an insane thing to have under your built, and Remus thought the three semesters he’d taken had bled him dry.
“That’s pretty impressive.” He says surprisingly.
“If I become suddenly interested in something I just have to learn everything I can about it, so I started my stats minor during my second year last year, and my Arabic minor this year”
“Wait how old are you?” Remus pauses to ask.
“I’m eighteen” Peter says in a way that makes it seem so normal for an eighteen year old to be in his third year of university.
“Teachers must’ve loved you.”
“They did actually.” Peter says proudly and Remus furrows his eyebrows and smiles at the peculiar boy. He notices the both of them have calmed down and Remus’ heart doesn’t feel like it’s about to jump out of his chest anymore. Having their first assignment get ruined because they were both a ball of nerves wasn’t how he was planning on starting his first day.
Professor Moody walks towards the front of the lab and stands beside the blank double sided white board. He spins it with his arm and waits until it lands perfectly on the opposite side, which makes Moody smile smugly, and Remus has a feeling this wasn’t the first time he’d done that trick. What a show off. He reads the header on the board.
Understanding Programming Logic
“You can now open the box in front of you.” Moody instructs, and all twenty students reach for their boxes. Remus has no time to reach for theirs before Peter’s fidgety little fingers pounce on it and pull it towards himself. He opens it frantically and Remus has to crane his neck to get a good look at the insides of the box.
He sees sensors, batteries (he knew he’d use them), wires and some other objects lying at the bottom of the box.
Theres a paper sitting on top of the materials. He grabs it before Peter has a chance to beat him to it.
Regarding your first task, you will build a robot that can find its way out of a maze using infra-red optical sensors. Using the materials in your box, you and your partner will have to program the robot to logically solve problems with the guidance of your professor. This assignment will take you two lab sessions to complete, and you must present your robot upon completion to assess your work.
The rest of the paper lists the materials and learning outcomes of this assignment, and for the second hour of the session, Professor Moody explains in detail the steps of the task. After they’ve understood the first steps, the interns begin working.
The first thing they did was try to come up with an optimal path for the robot to take. They went back and forth between a number of ideas, testing the efficiency of their theories for a couple of hours before finally landing on one they both agreed on. They were brainstorming designs now and nothing was decent enough for Peter. He was starting to get agitated at the lack of a decision. “It has to be exceptional” and Remus has no idea what kind of ‘exceptional’ robot Peter was expecting them to make with the limited tools they were given.
Remus noticed that Peter could get pretty competitive, whispering his words in case the other interns try to steal his ideas and shooting aggressive stares at the girl with the braids to his left, who wasn’t afraid of sending some back. They were working almost side by side, with Remus at the right end, the blonde girl at the left end, who he learns is named Marlene, and Peter and the other girl, Dorcas, in the middle. And it was probably not the greatest idea having those two sit near each other.
“Can you stop looking at my paper?” Peter says to her, cupping the corners of his paper.
“Does it make you feel that good to think people are desperate enough to steal your ideas?” She mockingly pouts and rolls her eyes before continuing to write on her paper.
Peter’s face flushes and he angrily stares back down at his paper. Remus and Marlene cast a wary side eye towards each other behind their partners backs before focusing on their work again, trying to avoid getting in between the not-so-silent feud their partners were having.
A few more hours later, and after finally landing on a design, they were dismissed from the lab. Peter had hurriedly run out of the door, not having bothered to say goodbye, while Remus was still standing by his bench packing his lab coat into his bag. He’d specifically bought a new one for the internship. His old one had a strange black stain on it, which he hopes wasn’t slowly poisoning him from the bottom of his closet.
“Those two need to be separated by a cage.”
He looks up and finds Marlene standing in front of him. She has a streak of red hair tucked behind her ear that he just now notices, and the jewelry she took off before the lab was already back in her face, ears, neck and fingers in an overwhelmingly impressive way and he wonders how quickly she managed to put them all back in.
“I think they’d manage to chew their way out of it.” he replies.
“Yeah and then we’d be caught in the crossfire.”
“They’re interning at a tech company, the most those two nerds could do is fly insults over our heads.”
“You’re interning here too.” Marlene retorts.
“And does it look like I know how to fight?”
She looks him up and down, crossing her arms before giving her assessment.
“No, no you don’t actually.”
And Remus has to fight back a knowing smile.