
Revelations and Fears
Harry, Hermione and Neville have taken to spending most of their free periods in the greenhouses, spending their time either quietly learning (and in Harry's case working on the first notebook), while Neville tends to the plants, or speaking to the little garden snake Harry has now befriended.
Hermione has got her own notebook sitting on her lap while she observes Harry talking to the snake, whom they have called Shesha after Hermione had explained the Indian myth. Shesha likes her new name, not caring enough about gender roles to take offens in being named after a male demigod. Hermione is eager to learn as much as she can about Parseltongue and she started trying to phonetically write down the different sounds, having Harry translate for her.
Right now though she is going over the entry about garden snakes -or, as she tends to correct Harry, garter snakes- in a library book on common serpents found in Great Britain. Harry translates all of Hermione's questions to Shesha, who happily recounts her perception of brumation, what types of food she prefers, and how she gets along with the other snakes found on Hogwarts' grounds.
Neville as while is occupied with a large Sopophorous plant, when Shesha suddenly changes the topic.
''Harry, I meant to tell your friend that one of his plants is sick.'' she hisses.
''Oh?'' Harry frowns, ''Which one? And how do you know?''
''It is the small, red one next to the tree where we first met. It smells different than normally.'' Shesha explains.
Harry quickly translates the snake's observations to Neville, who immediately goes over to look at the plant Shesha described.
''Oh wow, she's right!'' Neville exclaims, ''There's some jumping mildew on the inner leaves! Please tell Shesha thanks, Harry, it's really good that she found out now, that could've gotten bad if I hadn't figured it out soon. Would have spread to the other plants and that would have been a disaster!'' Neville calls, while he's already rummaging through a nearby crate, labelled 'medicinal potions'.
''Neville says thank you very much, Shesha.'' Harry smiles at the little snake, ''You really helped him!''
''I shall always help you, young Master!'' Shesha exclaims, happily flicking out her tongue.
Harry laughs at being called 'young Master'. A title which at first had made him feel a bit uneasy, the reminder of Nagini calling Voldemort Master or the house-elves being enslaved, too stark. But Shesha had refused to stop calling him that, as it apparently is the appropriate title for any snake bigger than oneself, at least in Parseltongue. Since then, being essentially called a snake highly amuses Harry.
Suddenly there's a loud 'bang' and all four heads turn to see Ron standing in the greenhouse entrance, having knocked over a stack of rakes. He is very pale and Harry can feel his own smile freezing at seeing the shock written all over Ron's face.
''Bloody hell!'' he gasps, ''You- you're a Parselmouth Harry? Why didn't you tell me?''
Harry makes to stand up. ''I can explain Ron.'' but as he approaches his oldest friend, Ron immediately shies away from him, as if he thinks Harry's dangerous.
The shocked expression on Ron's face slowly turns angry and his head turns red. He turns to Neville and Hermione ''You knew?!'' he yells accusingly. Then Ron fixes his gaze back on Harry and hisses ''Only Dark wizards can talk to snakes. You- you're evil Harry.'' he takes further steps back.
Hermione interrupts, having stood up herself, ''Ron, Harry is not evil just because he can speak a different language!'' she exclaims, ''I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but he's still the same Harry you know!''
Ron's face turns even redder as he furiously bellows at Hermione ''So you wanna hang out with Dark Wizards, yeah? You do realize that they tend to wish Muggle-borns like you dead, hm? Call them mudblood.'' he rages.
At the slur Hermione and Neville both blanch.
Harry tries to reason with his friend ''Ron, I would never do that! You know me!''
Ron just stares at Harry, fists clenched at his sides, ''Yeah, I thought I did, but apparently I have no idea who you are.'' with that he turns around and leaves.
Harry wants to follow him, but Hermione holds him back.
''Leave him be, Harry, he'll come around.'' Neville tries to reassure Harry, but he doesn't sound convinced at all.
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In the evening back in their dorm, Ron ignores both Harry's and Neville's attempts at talking to him and gets ready for bed without sparing either of them as much as a glance.
Harry defeatedly lies down in his bed, his stomach sinking as he remembers all the times Ron was jealous because one thing or the other, and how his friend so often avoided him for sometimes weeks on end. Harry thinks of the Mirror of Erised and how Ron saw himself as Quidditch captain and Head boy and receiving a trophy. That's when he realizes that Ron probably doesn't really think that Harry's evil. He just feels betrayed and left out because Harry didn't tell him about his ability, but Neville and Hermione. Harry suspects that Ron already feels inferior to most people around him, especially considering he's the youngest boy of six brother's, who all have their own special talents and recognition. It probably doesn't help that he is best friends with Harry, who's fame precedes him wherever he goes.
It's not like Harry wants to have all that fame and recognition, especially not because of the way he got it in the first place, thank you very much. He would happily trade all the unwelcome attention for living parents in an instant.
Even though Harry feels pretty hurt and treated unfairly, he still contemplates how he might help Ron develop some more self-esteem. Because as much as he loves Ron, Harry's not prepared to go through seven years of constant fighting and abandonment again, whenever Ron somehow feels like Harry's done something that hurt his pride. This time, Harry thinks, he's not sure if he could just stay passive and wait for Ron to eventually get over himself and come back to him. Especially because, now that he thinks about it, his friend had not once apologized after abandoning Harry during a time of need. But that was his old friend Ron, and whilst the young Ron's behaviour right now isn't fair at all, Harry supposes it also wouldn't be fair to judge this Ron on all of the actions of a person that doesn't even exist yet.
Harry also doesn't want to lose his best friend, so he decides that he is going to help Ron find something of his own. Something he excels in, so that he doesn't feel like his only value stems from being Harry Potter's best friend, or the youngest Weasley son, anymore.
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Albus is getting nervous. It's less than two weeks until Christmas Break and there has been no sign of Voldemort so far. He had expected to see at least some sort of corporal form or other scheming from his former pupil. Young Tom was never one to give up easily, and after his possession of Quirinius last year had been exposed so early on in the term, Albus had figured that that would only mean more time for Voldemort to regroup and form a new plan on how to kill Harry Potter again.
Albus plans had relied heavily on Voldemort resurfacing in some form, as Albus had planned to use whatever situation would have transpired from that to further shape Harry into the martyr he's supposed to be. So now Albus feels forced to take matters into his own hands. If by new year, when all of the students come back from their holidays, there still is no sign of Voldemort, then Albus himself will have to come up with some sort of obstacle for Harry to face. Of course, a confrontation with the real Voldemort would have been optimal, but shall that not be possible, Albus simply will have to convince Harry that the struggles he will be facing at Albus hands are entirely the Dark Lords doing.
When Albus heard that Harry is planning on spending Christmas with the Weasley family, he'd feared that with the boy out of the school the chance for an attack by Voldemort would be even smaller, so he'd been inclined to prevent Harry from going to the Burrow. But, if Albus has to come up with some contingency plan, having Harry gone for the time should actually work in his favour.
Nevermind the possibility of making Harry feel even more indebted to the wizarding world, due to his first family Christmas, surrounded by the Weasley, people who deeply care for the boy.
Initially Albus had hoped that the boy would spend a part of the summer at the Burrow, but sadly that never happened. The immediate contrast of arriving at the Burrow after living under the abusive influence of his aunt and uncle, should have worked nicely to cement Harry's need to save the wizarding world and the people who've been first to show him some kindness by any means necessary.
But that didn't happen, so maybe a Weasley family Christmas might even help to ensure Albus' plans for the boy.
So for now Albus chooses to wait for Harry's return after the holidays and to hope for some Voldemort-related occurrences during that time. But it won't hurt to be prepared and Albus certainly isn't going to let a little lack of Tom Riddle prevent him from reaching his goals.
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Draco is panicking. He has finished summarizing his first year, but now he realizes that after that he steadily got worse. In second year he called Granger a mudblood, something he wouldn't dream of doing now. But it has been his past, so he's got to face up to it. In third year he tormented Potter with the whole Dementor schtik. In fourth year his whole obsession with the Gryffindor and his championship and after that it only got worse. How is he supposed to write all of that down, knowing that Potter is going to read and be reminded of it? Sure, Draco definitely plans on leaving out his more than obvious feelings towards Potter that had arisen in fourth year, but the rest he did might just be enough to destroy that tentative truce they have going on. Eventually he'll have to write down everything about his time as a Death Eater and what he was forced to do, wearing the mark. Some of the things Potter isn't aware of yet, and Draco dreads his reaction when he finds out what horrors he committed.
And even without the thought of Potter reading all his experiences, the sheer act of remembering all of his experiences is taking quite the toll on Draco. He shudders, thinking about how Professor Burbage was killed right in front of him and he didn't do anything to stop it. Or how he was forced to Crucio fellow Death Eaters and Muggles alike, whoever had displeased the Dark Lord enough to warrant such action.
He can't imagine Potter reacting any else but to finally hate Draco forever, when he learns of all the things Draco did under the guise of being a 'good and loyal Death Eater'.
Maybe, he thinks, he should try to only sparsely summarize his experiences in the notebook he is going to show the Gryffindor and just keep his more detailed memories in a book for himself. But that doesn't feel right. It was Draco's idea after all, to even write those wretched books, now is not the time to back out. And Potter for his part seems to diligently be working on his part. Draco has frequently seen the Gryffindor jotting down something in one of the guarded notebooks Draco had acquired for them.
Maybe Draco just needs to put a little bit more trust into Potter. After all, the brat didn't shun him after he found out about Draco being gay, like he had previously feared. But then, being gay and torturing Muggles under the Dark Lord's orders are two very different things. Draco wouldn't even be mad at Potter if he never wanted to speak to him again, after reading all about how he spent his holidays after 5th year.
Still, the fear of Potter's ultimate rejection is keeping Draco up at night. It's not like he is delusional enough to think the Gryffindor could ever like him back the way Draco does. But to be somehow accepted, like he is now, and to be completely cast aside, rightfully judged for his past actions, are are such different possibilities. Draco has to admit to himself that even this tentative truce they have going on is making him happier than all of those years of enmity combined. If he were to lose this, he doesn't know how he would cope. So, his worry doesn't fade that much, but Draco still decides to for once channel his inner strength and courage and to open up about (almost) everything in these wretched notebooks.