Mutuality
"You know what to do." Erwin whispered, pushing her towards doors with his only arm as he wanted to show Annie that he supports her. It worked, Annie was waiting for this type of affection from him for years, she soaked up any word he spoke like a sponge.
Annie, in fact, had no idea what to do as she pulled the handle slowly. She felt his eyes on her, but couldn't sense his emotions for the sake of it, he was a closed book, written in ancient language and locked up with a key. Right, language. By the decision of Erwin, and whoever else, she was the chosen one to try to communicate with their new... Friend.
Why did they chose her? It is rhetoric question because who else speak Marleyan fluently and is on Paradis's side? Annie wished it was Eren or Armin, or Jean, everyone but not her.
She entered to room, her back still ached from the bird's claw and skin burnt from getting slightly tanned on the outside world. Their attacker was there, he glanced at her madly but starting to ignore her next minute. He was chained, cuffs around his hands, feet and ropes tangling him to chair, there is no chance of him hurting her, so why is she so frightened?
Annie sat in front of him, table separating them by a meter or so, she tried to lock eye contact with him. What does she do now? She knew that Erwin was watching them through one-way glass, listening to everything they said, what does he expect from her now? Her teeth bit the middle of her cheek till it bleed, she played with her bottom lip, trying to find a way to start.
"Why were you outside?" She murmed, turning her gaze away from him to look at one-way glass for a second. She did so till the end of their meeting, she imagined Erwin's reactions to their every word.
Silence, what else could happen? If he could speak Paradisian, anyone could come to him, they wouldn't need Annie to do it. Her hated nationality was the only reason she made it here. She swallowed hard, hearing her every breath, heartbeat, her eyes blinking, before she spat out Marleyan words.
"Niema? (Name?)" It sounded odd against her tongue, it got used to speak Paradisian for way to long for her to put the right accent. After a while, it all came back to her, how to place her tongue, shape her mouth and put accents, it came to her suprise that Marleyan sat nicer against her tongue. Like it was in her nature to only communicate in it.
He looked at her through his blonde hair, his gaze stormy, like he was prepared for a fight, tortures, death... It was hard for him not to show how shocked he was when a girl seemed to be familiar with his national language. Weren't Paradisians supposed not to know Marleyan?
Even harder part was that every moment this girl showed him something new, that made him believe that he saw her once. There was something in her icy, blue eyes, dry smile and the way she style her hair... She was like an illusion, he knew there was something wrong in the image he was seeing, he knew that he saw that trick somewhere, but forgot how to solve it.
"Reiner." He whispered, his voice untrusty as he was still trying to figure out the stranger. He nodded at her, wanting to know her name as well.
"Annie."
Then it clicked. Reiner straighten his back and scanned the girl up and down. It can't be... Is it really Annie Leonhardt sitting in front of him? Everyone in their hometown thought she was dead. Her father told everyone she sneaked out to the outside world and never came back. As his eyes grew bigger, revealing all of his emotions, Annie smirked.
"Dhotch mi wasse onlieva... (Thought I was the only one...)" She truly did, for few hours she felt paranoid, thinking that there is no way that they might once met, that she sees things that doesn't happen. It was soothing, a realisation from both sides about their short, shared past.
"Hys asse mifage! (This is a miracle!)" Reiner gasped. "Hafe? (How?)"
"Mifage. (Miracle.)" Annie responded, not wanting to share any of her secrets. "Mi onlieva kuiken kuikanas. (I'm the one asking questions.)" She reminded both of them. "Ware wani ovania?(Why were you outside?)"
"Misdages. (Mistakes)" After all, Annie wasn't the only one who didn't want their secrets shared.
Reiner wasn't fond of an idea of her knowing about him and Berthold stealing money from a close-by store and accidently killing the cashier. Inflation in Marley is growing. Their once upper class families grew into lower-middle class, their mansions were harder to maintain, payouts of their parents was smaller every day... And to add a cherry on top, their families still wanted to keep its good name, no matter what.
"Goures. (Of course.)" Annie signed. She liked to talk to him, it was a first person she had to understand her. Similar, unexplained experience they shared was this one thing that held them together. "Wani wima?(Where are we?)"
"Nemesias laude. (Enemies' land.)" He spat out, almost disgusted and it was another way Annie saw herself in him. He was so lost, so scared, in a place he didn't belong to, will get used for someone else's dream... Will he accept his new life the same way Annie did? She guessed he won't, he had this angry spark in his eyes that always searched for a fight. Reiner would get along with Eren, she thought.
The word "nemesias" unlocked another path in her brain. She got driven back to that day when she was the tangled one, Erwin, Levi and Hange asking her things she doesn't understand... She called them enemies as well, she portrayed them as nothing else. After all those years, she noticed how unjustified it sounded. Annie was the one to kill Paradisians, they caused no harm towards her, they treated her gently before she fucked up.
Reiner looked around like he expected for them to be monsters. At first, Annie's reaction was to roll her eyes, they barely done anything towards him and he is already jumping to conclusions? It frustrated her, but didn't she act the same? Now, she was in Erwin's place, the one to ask. Did Erwin was frustrated by her behaviour the same way?
"Hafe yaw zurviva? (How did you survive?)" Reiner wondered.
"Mi atabtione. (I adapted.)" She answered simply. "Mi rekomedes samlieva. (I recommend for you to do the same.)"
"Mi neie joum nemiesas! (I won't join enemies!)"
"Yaw walle. (You will.)" Annie said, making it sound almost like a threat. "Yaw walle joum Scouts, Reiner. (You will join Scouts, Reiner.)"
"Neie! Mi hartare wasse Marleyan! (No! My heart is Marleyan!)"
"Idiot." She whispered. Older she grew, the more annoyed she was by mindless devotion to nations. But it also helped her figure out why she craved to become one of those patriotic people, their lives seemed easier. Annie wanted an easy life dictated by others than to choose herself and handle a responsibility of free will. "Yaw walle, mi walle fortessa yaw. (You will, I'll force you.)"
"Ware yaw staindate hier, itch nemiesas? (Why did you stay here, amongst enemies?)" Reiner spat out angrily. He shout at her, something about why does she wants for him to give up their nations for those monsters, why can't they just escape from here, why is he important enough to still be alive... Why does she wants for him to stay safe?
"Wami walle livtet. (We will live.)" She explained softly. They barely knew each other but Annie still felt tied to this lost boy. She was a lost girl once, there wasn't anyone to help her understand her new situation, she didn't want for Reiner to suffer the same path. Yes, when he will adapt to this new environment he will still be lost, the same way Annie is, but at those first stages of finding himself, Annie will help him as much as she can. "Hys asse impotierese padet. (This is the most important part.)"
When Annie left the room, Erwin asked her about what she found out about their new "friend". She stared blankly into the corridor.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." She responded, shrugging. It was no difficulty to notice how disappointed Erwin was, but what else she could do? Reiner is not stable enough to share any helpful informations, yet. He needs to chill down, feel safe, welcomed... The commander understood this and Annie understood how disgusted Erwin is by idea of another failure.
>---
Annie and Reiner sat the farthest they could from their teacher, Levi Ackermann. Lesson was hand-to-hand combat, which would usually bring Annie some sort of happiness, but today was different. Today, Levi was ordered to not say anything about fighting, he was ordered to make a quick summary of their first mission.
He was uncomfortable, he didn't see any point in it. They all were there, why does he needs to repeat everything they literally experienced? Erwin explained that morals can't fall even lower, Levi needs to report their mission as they achieved more than they lost. Levi was the worst person to do this, he couldn't say their mission was a success when Hange wasn't there with him to celebrate. But everyone else seemed to be too busy to take care of those children, Levi took up a position Hange once held, being their mentor in most of subjects.
"It helped our society, it is certain." Levi began dryly, his arms tangled on his chest. "Everything that happened there was a needed sacrifice." He wasn't Erwin, he didn't know how to put on convincing, motivational speech to make their day better. Words hardly pushed through his throat. "We all are grieving over what we have lost... That is a good thing, we can't forget about them. Our every next step will be dedicated for her."
He didn't notice when his tongue drove his speech towards Hange, saying what everyone was too afraid to say. Hange is dead, she won't come back. Annie wasn't afraid, quiet voice in the back of his head laughed bitterly, Annie said it proudly, staring into your eyes.
"Poets could write that she died beautifully. But I think her life was way more beautiful." Levi lowered his tone, it was a funeral of his dearest friend. His words split out from unknown place, after few sentences, he forgot about children listening to him. It was his last goodbye with Hange.
"No lessons this week. We all need to rest." He stated, reminding himself not to cry in front of them over death of the best woman that he met.
YEAR 1983 P.A.
Annie and Reiner walked around the mansion. Annie and Reiner grew into each other quickly, long time has passed before Annie had someone like him. Mutual experiences, feelings and hatred towards them from everyone else brought them even closer together. Sometimes Annie wondered, does she truly like him or she just got used to another outcast sticking around her. She didn't mind answering this, she only cared about finally having someone to spend free afternoons with.
Reiner often filled up their surroundings with his voice, his stories of how it was back in Marley seemed to never reach end. He wanted tor Annie to add something from her own memories. She never did, he never pursued more than Annie allowed him.
Annie was balancing at the curb, Reiner was getting sentimental about sweets from Marley. Sometimes she smiled at his comment, sometimes she explained to him how things work on this side of the border. It felt good. They were both unfitting, broken pieces. They couldn't find a way to fit into each other, but it was still soothing to see someone as similar as you are.
They were something remotely close to friends. Annie's favourite part about their relationship, they silently agreed to not mention Annie's past and mistakes. Reiner ignored looks full of fear and disgust shoot at Annie, her fights with Mikasa and weird connection with Erwin, Levi and the whole Ackermann clan. They brought each other some sort of peace.
Annie taught him Paradisian, he progressed quickly. The more time has passed, the more she found herself in places Levi or Erwin were. Or even Mikasa. Reiner brought her new perspective, he was her when she was younger. Annie was Levi when he raised her. It was revolutionary for Annie, her late at night reflections picked up another path to explore.
"I..." Reiner began, sometimes he tried to communicate on daily basis with her in Paradisian. Day by day, little by little, he improved. Annie always felt proud when she noticed this, she wondered if Levi felt proud of her own improvement back then. "... Am eat."
"It is : I, would, like, to, eat." She corrected him, pacing her words slowly. "Or: I, am, hungry."
The boy nodded. "Over there?" He asked, pointing at walls of the mansion. He wanted to eat outside, on she streets. At first, Annie was not sure, there was this unspoken rule of not leaving the building. Unspoken, she noticed, there isn't anything wrong inhanging out outside, right? They aren't kids anymore, they won't get lost or hurt.
"Sure." She responded, slowly heading towards the exit. Reiner followed her, almost jumping out of joy. This boy was so happy, so exited, even if it was just for small things. "What, would, you, like, to, eat?"
"Something... Zwatti. (Sweet)" He responded, Annie translating the last word to Paradisian for him to learn.
They searched for a good place to stop by for few minutes. It was helpful for mansion to be placed in the centre of the town, shops were basically everywhere. They found a bakery, air around it was filled with a scent of freshly baked pies and whatever else they did there. No words were spoken, they silently agreed to enter the place.
"Do, you, have, money?" Annie whispered to him. She was certain of two things. One: she has no money. Two: they need to stay quiet and for her to do most of the talking. Teenage boy that has difficulty communicating in Paradisian will bring some unwanted attention.
Reiner searched through his pockets before showing off banknote proudly, straight in front of Annie's face. She confiscated it, making him look a bit upset. From where did he have money? Ackermanns sometimes remembered about the Scouts. They gave them a little treat, funding their entertainment and commanding the older Scouts to share the money between soldiers. Their age group didn't gain much, but it was enough for a sweet treat at a lazy Sunday afternoon.
"What, do, you, want?" Annie asked, with her own order already picked up. It took a little longer for Reiner to decide, but he made up his mind on a donut.
Lady at the counter was nice. And really pretty, Annie admitted. Cinnamon roll and donut got quickly packed, payment was done and they left the bakery. They were wandering around the streets for few more moments, before choosing a bench to sit on. It was on a quiet alley, not the homelessness one, just a quiet alley were people enjoyed their slow days far enough from the city noise, close enough to take care of things in the city if needed.
They began to eat, in quiet. Annie didn't mind, for a moment a thought passed her mind. A thought that she would prefer to stay here with him, even in total silence, than to come back to military and suffer for any day longer. She was thankful for him, he was the only one that liked her. Purely, no resentment, no disgust, no anger at one another... It was good, it was perfect.
Annie decided to stop, this is not a real purpose in life. She has a chance to do something more... And it is not like she has any other option than to come back to Scouts, where else could she stay? Do her and Reiner have any place in this world that will want them? She glanced at her friend. No, of course there isn't. They aren't normal kids, they are Marleyan kids.
Marleyan kids aren't made for peace.
She woke herself up from those thoughts. Why does she always have to make things worse? Her focus drove on the sweet taste of the cinnamon roll. Annie completely adored sweets, the way they melted on her tongue, the way they tasted, their delicate dough mixed with godly topping or filling...
"Annie, mi wasse... (Annie, I was...)"
"Not here." She spat out, looking around the place panicked. What was he thinking? The euphoric taste of the cinnamon roll suddenly turning into poison on her tongue. "We, can't, speak, it, here."
"Sorry." Reiner apologize quietly. He swallowed hard before continuing, this time in the right language. "I, miss, Berthold." Annie nodded lightly, not expecting a therapy session all of sudden. "Do you...?" He gestures at his head, tapping his finger on his forehead.
"I do. I, do remember, him."
"What exatly?" Sometimes words slipped out from his mouth differently that they are meant to sound, but it didn't make him impossible to understand.
"Not much." Annie admitted. "All, of, us, hardly, knew, each, other."
"Yeah, but..." He groaned as be was searching for the right words to explain his grief. He couldn't find them, in both languages. "He was so... Good."
Their food was already finished. Annie had nothing to do with her hands, she began to play with them, staring at them like they are the most interesting thing ever. She truly wished for her memories to unlock, for her to find any information about what Berthold was like. She wouldn't even mind if those memories were made up by her, but her imagination froze.
The only memories she had from Marley were her father, the only ones that were clear, that she remembered word for word, hit by hit... Some kids she once, or twice, played with? Kids she was disgusted then and is friends with them now? All of their faces were mostly a blur, she didn't remember what they talked about, why was she there, she just remembered she liked to play with them. No matter how against everything she believed in was, she enjoyed their company.
"I... Regret, that, I didn't got, a chance, to... Meet him closer." She tried to put it into the simplest words. Simplest words, yet, full of emotions.
"I hate them." It was the first sentence Reiner has spoke without stuttering. He said it proudy, without even blinking. "They, took him. They, took him away, from me."
Maybe, that was the first sign. Maybe, they were there before. Maybe, she should try to argue with him, tell him that it won't help him. That it won't bring Berthold back. Last time she argued she lost Mikasa...
Annie didn't want to loose another friend, she stayed quiet. No matter, how brutal the verbal attack on Paradisians were, Annie said no word. She thought it is his way of dealing with grief, and his threats won't make it out to be truth.