“It’s not you, is it?” The words stopped Remus in his tracks. He turned to face Sirius, who had appeared in the doorway of his room. “It’s Pete.” He whispered.
Remus blinked at him, “It’s Pete?”
“I gave everyone different information about where James and Lily would be last night. I told you they’d be at Hogwarts, I told Marlene they’d be staying in Hogsmeade, I told Pete they’d be at home.” He paused, “He went there last night. Voldemort. Blew the place up.”
“No.” Remus shook his head. “Are they—”
“They’re fine. They were at The Burrow with Molly and Arthur.” Sirius looked at his friend. “Why did you let us think it was you?” Remus shook his head. “Why did you let me think it was you?”
“I thought it might be you if that’s any consolation.” Remus sounded pained. “I didn’t want to believe it, though. And, I suppose, with what Dumbledore’s had me doing, I thought you all might as well think me the traitor. It would be less painful for you all when I inevitably didn't come back.”
“Please tell me.” Sirius’ fingers gripped the edge of the doorframe. “Fuck what Dumbledore says. Tell me, Remus.”
Remus sighed, “I’ve been trying to convert werewolves to our side. Greyback and his pack, mostly.” He shrugged, “Fairly unsuccessfully.”
“You’ve been with Greyback?” Sirius’ knuckles were white. “Why would he ask you to do that? That’s fucking awful.”
“He couldn’t exactly send anyone else, could he?”
“But still!” Sirius looked devastated and Remus wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let go, but he took a step back and leant against the wall opposite Sirius’ door.
“Do James and Lily know? Dumbledore?”
“Yeah, Aurors picked up Pete and a few others this morning.” A tear escaped from the corner of Sirius’ eye. “I’m so sorry, Moons. I’m so sorry.”
“I would never,” Remus said quietly. “I owe the world to you, James, and Lily. I would never put any of you, or Harry, at risk on purpose.”
“I know.” Sirius bit the edge of his lip to stop it from trembling. “I don’t know how we got here. This fucking war is destroying everything and I’m destroying everything.”
“Sirius,” Remus looked so tired, “I’ve forgiven you for worse.” He tried to smile, “We’ll get through this.”
“Will we?” Sirius took a shaky breath. “All this time Pete has been feeding us lies about you, and we just believed them. ‘Isn’t it strange that Moony never tells us about his missions?’, ‘Remus missed another meeting? Weird.’ And…” He shook his head, “He said that he saw you kissing Barty Crouch from school.”
“I see.” Remus said slowly, “Well, for what it’s worth, I have never kissed Crouch.”
“Good, he’s a fucking state.” Sirius half laughed, half sobbed. “He made it sound so believable, Moons.”
“I’m sure he did.” Remus said, “I wish you’d all had more faith in me, but I understand what it must have looked like.”
“Can you not be so fucking understanding just this once?” Sirius shouted, “We thought you were a traitor, that you’d give up James and Lily. How can you be so calm about this?”
Remus pressed his lips together, “I’m so tired, Pads. I don’t have it in me to fight anymore. Pete was making comments to me about you, too. I started to believe them. So, I get it. He was our friend, why wouldn’t we believe him?”
“But you’re our friend. Why wouldn’t we trust you?” Sirius rubbed his eyes, “I don’t know how to make this right.”
“Pads,” Remus said softly, taking a step towards him. “Please, listen to me. I’m upset about it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you. Uh, all of you. All of you.” Sirius’ eyes flicked up to meet Remus’, who instantly looked away.
“Love you too, Moons. Oh!” Sirius pulled a chocolate frog out of his pocket, “It might be a bit melted now, but…”
“Thank you.” Remus took the frog and held it against his chest.
“For the endolphins.”
“Endorphins.” Remus corrected.
“Yeah, same thing.”
“It’s not the—” Remus smiled cautiously. “I would be so lost without you. It’s important to me that you know that, alright?”
“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” He asked quietly. They’d shared a bed fairly often at school, staying up late and talking. Even since living together, there were nights when Sirius would crawl into Remus’ bed after a bad dream. “It’s fine if you want to be alone, obviously.”
“Of course you can.” Remus looked towards his room, “I really don’t want to be alone.”
“I missed you so much, Moony.” Remus could tell that he didn’t just mean from the week he’d been away with Greyback’s pack.
“I missed you too.”