Stay
Draco’s knees went weak, eyes wide and shoulders trembling. He tried to school it, tried to show that he wasn’t affected by this. His blond hair a mess from the end of the war, breath coming out in small increments, and his world turned cold. He felt it, he really felt that pain and emptiness, but he didn’t want to believe it.
“Harry Potter is dead!”
Those words rang in his head over and over after the Dark Lord said them. He couldn’t believe it. After so long, there was some warmth blooming in his chest and he felt so happy for a moment. But this couldn’t be, because even with those words spoken, he could feel it. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he felt like falling apart, bursting into tears and not caring who saw. Screw the Malfoy name, he just heard his soulmate died!
That was all that was going through his head. Had he felt it wrong? Was he just trying to imagine that Harry survived to make himself feel better? He looked at his mother, trying to gauge her reaction, she would never lie to him. Yet, Narcissa held no emotion. Her lips were pressed in a thin line and eyes were void. She tilted her head, and something screamed at Draco that this was bad. That Harry was actually dead because his mother gave him nothing.
“Come, Draco.” Voldemort’s scratchy voice rang out, hand waving him over.
Draco stayed rooted, so many emotions swirling in his chest. Anger and hatred for Voldemort. Grief and pain from hearing Harry died. Warmth like Harry was still alive despite the words spoken. He didn’t know what to believe. His chest was tight, and his fingers twitched. He wanted to fall and to scream, he wanted to be held by Harry, to be loved by Harry. He wanted Harry.
Draco looked around, hoping someone would tell him to stay. That they wanted him on his side, but he knew that would never happen. No one wanted Draco here, not after everything. His lips trembled at the thought, and he couldn’t hide the pain and dread from his features, fear was just crawling up into his eyes as well.
“Draco, come on.” His father said, holding his arm out.
Draco didn’t want to go; he wanted to stay. He wanted someone to want him to stay. His fingers continued to twitch, sweat was building up and he felt constricted in his own body. No one said anything. Not even Hermione or Ron and they knew. He could see it when they looked at him. Hermione was looking at him with such pity and anguish.
“Draco, dear.” Narcissa’s voice rang out and Draco looked towards his mother. Draco felt like bursting into tears when she looked so sad for the words she was about to utter. “Come on.” She held both arms out, “Let’s go.” She beckoned him over.
Draco took a final glance around. There was still hope in his chest, whether it was for Harry being alive or for someone to tell him to stay, he didn’t know. All he knew was that it was lingering. He took a shaky breath and took his first step.
“Malfoy.” Ron’s voice spoke first, catching the blonde’s attention.
Draco looked at Ron, heart slowing down to something calmer. He was still nervous and hurt, but looking at Ron’s determined expression, something settled into Draco. Draco felt his arms sink lower as his shoulders sagged. He looked at Hermione and she smiled, small and tired, but she smiled. Her hand holding onto Ron’s like her life depended on it.
“Stay.” She said, “He’d want you to stay.”
“He would?” Draco couldn’t help but utter, shaky voice and disbelief.
He wanted nothing more than to believe that, but this was his fault. He fixed the cabinet, he set up his soulmate's death. Like he was destined for it, no matter how many times he tried to make it right or amend, he always made it worse. Even though his inner turmoil was making him sick, Hermione looked so sure. So did Ron.
The couple held their hands out, wanting him to grab it and stay. It was like an invisible string was drawing him closer to the ones who knew Harry. To the ones who resembled him the most. Maybe he could feel some relief if he went with them. Get to know Harry through them.
“Draco.” Narcissa said, her voice more even and commanding. “Let’s go.”
“Listen to your mother, boy.” Voldemort sneered at him.
Draco looked at his mother. Heart and mind in war. His heart saying go to Hermione and Ron and his mind saying go to his mother because she was his mother. The young man wanted to tear himself into two and go with the both of them. His mother’s arms looked so comforting because that would be the wrong choice to go to. Hermione’s and Ron’s arms were screaming at him more, telling him that they were the right choice.
Draco’s feet began to move on his own, his pace picking up and gasps rang out. He was practically running before he fell into his fellow classmates' arms. He picked Hermione and Ron. He clutched onto them like a lifeline, wanting something close to him. He never would’ve thought he’d ever touch them. First year him would think he was filthy for doing this, but it felt so right. Hermione patted between his shoulder blade and that actually relaxed Draco greatly.
“Draco.” His mother sounded betrayed, but she couldn’t blame him. Not after she could see everything going through his eyes at rapid fire.
“Draco, you're a disappointment.” Lucius said.
Draco didn’t care. “He can’t be dead.” Draco whispered to the two. “Please, I can feel it.”
“Malfoy…” Hermione whispered, trying not to sound so morbid.
Draco shook his head, denying it. Not wanting to listen to her. Or anything negative.
Right on cue, like all that was needed was for Draco to say something, movement happened. Harry rolled out of Hagrid’s arms, Draco immediately tensed up and snapped his gaze over to him. Features brightening and relief flooding him like waves in an ocean.
“Harry!” Draco said, a slip of his tongue said Harry’s first name instead of saying Potter.
Draco ran towards Harry, he could’ve tackled him into a hug, but it wasn’t right. So, he threw his wand and Harry caught it, immediately deflecting Voldemort’s attack with one of his own. Draco stumbled when his arm was grabbed, and his mother and father began to drag him away. Panic overtook his features at being separated from Harry again. He couldn’t take it.
“Wait-”
“No!” Lucius snapped, cutting his son off.
Draco flinched, sure his father could be commanding, but he’s never exactly yelled at him. Lucius held this quiet authority around him, he gave a great life for Draco, but these past few years have been getting worse. His father has changed, looking worse for wear, like Draco had for the longest time, until Harry finally spoke to him again.
“Lucius.” Narcissa said, shaking her head at her husband. “He wanted to stay for a reason.”
The gap between Draco, Harry and Hogwarts was getting further and further. He struggled to get out of their hold, wanting to run into Harry’s arms and hold him tight. To spend his life with him. He thought he could handle being on good terms, even if they never spoke again, but he couldn’t. He needed Harry more than he thought, he couldn’t breathe without him. Harry almost dying set that off in him.
“I need to get back to my soulmate! Father please!” Draco was freaking out.
He stumbled when Lucius stopped automatically, causing Draco to stumble into him. His breath was heaving out of his chest, eyebrows furrowed from confusion. He stared at his father as Lucius was studying him. The wind blowing his stringy long hair, Draco remembered a time where it was like silk and his father had let him play with it before he entered Hogwarts. Now it was just as ugly as his father’s deteriorating personality.
“You found your soulmate?” Lucius asked, his voice evenly quiet… softer.
It was never this soft, Draco was shocked. Lucius took a glance at Narcissa, his fingers loosened on Draco’s wrist and his expression softened. A vulnerability that he’s never shown before, love filled him for a moment before he let it disappear. He looked back at Draco, raising a brow at his son. Waiting for an answer.
Draco swallowed thickly, but he gave a stiff nod. He could never lie to his father or mother, either they’d see through him, or he’d feel so guilty, he’d spill the beans. Keeping secrets was not the same as lying, so he was able to keep his soulmate hidden for so long. At least away from his father.
He had a fear that Lucius would’ve told The Dark Lord and Harry would be used against him for a higher leverage. To exploit Draco’s weakness into getting him to do more for not only his life, but Harry’s, too. That kept Draco up on most nights when he wanted to tell his father, but that always held him back.
“Words, Draco.” Lucius said, finger tapping Draco’s wrist in a small rhythm.
Draco took a deep breath, eyes glancing away to the sky before back at his father. “Yes, father.” He whispered, still feeling like a child who wanted his father’s approval. Despite everything.
Lucius’ hold loosened more, but he still held a decent firm grip on him. “I see. Who?”
Draco felt sweat trailing down him, “Potter.” He whispered so quietly, Lucius almost missed it.
“I see.” Lucius said, “That explains a lot.” He tightened his hold and began to drag Draco again.
“H-huh?!” Draco stuttered, trying to still get out of his parents' hold and back to the right side of the war. At least the right side in his eyes, whichever side Harry was on, that was the right side. Draco would follow, no matter what.
“You still need to come with us. You’ll see your soulmate soon. But right now, we’re going.” Lucius said.
Draco slumped in defeat, but the thought of seeing Harry again made him relax. He hadn’t expected those words from his father, but was slightly happy that his father could understand. Draco didn’t pick his soulmate, but he was grateful that his soulmate was who he was. Harry made Draco, in an odd sort of way.
“What did you mean earlier?” Draco asked, no longer dragging his feet.
Lucius eyed him, almost offended that Draco could be so stupid. “You talked about him. Constantly. Couldn’t shut up.”
Draco’s pale cheeks burned. He swore he wasn’t that bad. He couldn’t have been that bad. At those times he thought he hated Harry, so his father should’ve felt his hatred. Or maybe his father knew before he did, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was embarrassed and his cheeks darkened when Narcissa laughed quietly.
“You weren’t subtle, but it’s still a shock.” Narcissa said, “But I’m sorry we are taking you away from your soulmate.”
Draco frowned, remembering that part of this whole interaction. He looked back, but even Hogwarts had disappeared from his line of vision. He could feel the distance between them, but at least his heart was pounding in his chest with such devotion and determination. He could feel that Harry Potter was alive, his bloody soulmate was alive. That’s all that mattered to Draco.
“I want to go back.” Draco whispered.
“You go back, you’ll get arrested and put to trail. For now, wait.” Lucius said, holding himself higher now.
Now without the suffocating feeling of Voldemort breathing down his neck, he seemed better. With the presence of Narcissa -Lucius’ obvious soulmate- there, he looked healthier. A soulmate reflects one another and the two did that perfectly. Draco couldn't wait for that to happen to him. A pleasant buzz flickered throughout him.
Soon he’d see Harry again and that’s all that mattered to him. Harry had quite easily become Draco’s source in life, but a soulmate will do that. He wondered how he'd see Harry again. He hoped it was pleasant and very reuniting. Maybe Draco will finally get what he wanted.
Draco really should learn to keep his mouth and thoughts shut, he forgot nothing really ever goes his way. He’s stuck on trial with his family.
Witnesses: Harry bloody-fucking Potter and everyone else that seemed unimportant.
This should end swimmingly, Draco thought, with a roll of his eyes. He was hated all around, he was sure to go to jail with his family, but who knows.