Chapter 2
A soft summer breeze tickled Krista’s nose, and stirred the tall grass she was lying on. She looked up at the vast expanse of stars, each one burning brighter than the next, as if in competition with one another.
She glanced to her right, eyes landing on the woman beside her. Ymir laid with her long legs stretched out and both of her hands supporting behind her head. Her brown hair was tied back in its signature ponytail, with her long bangs drooping down by the side of her face. Krista could barely make out the constellation of freckles on Ymir’s face in the moonlight, and she squinted her eyes, unconsciously leaning forward a bit while trying to make them out. She didn’t realize she was staring so hard until Ymir caught her eye.
“Looking at something?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Krista startled, “No!” She snapped her head back towards the starry sky, face burning.
Ymir lets out a soft chuckle, and Krista’s heart almost beats itself out of her chest when she hears that wonderful sound. And shes never felt the need to say something as badly as she does at that moment. She would say, anything, for the possibility of hearing that laugh again.
Words bubble up in her chest, and she feels like she’s about to burst at the seams. She squirms around, hoping that the movement will cease this incessant need to blurt out everything she’s thinking. The grass beneath her tickles the back of her neck and ears, which only makes the sensation worse.
She can’t take it anymore. “Ymir!” She blurts, coming across more like a scream than a question.
She waits for Ymir’s response, refusing to look at the woman beside her.
“Yes?” Ymir finally answers, her voice unsure.
Krista starts, her voice coming out a bit too quickly and high pitched, “Do you ever think we are going to find out where the titans come from? Or, like, do you think we’ll retake wall Maria? Because it’s been years and we’ve been on multiple expeditions, and we still haven’t made much progress. Well, Hange has made progress. I think. Well, with titan experiments I mean.” Oh god. She’s babbling like a lunatic. And yet she cannot control her tongue. “What do you think is, like, really outside the walls? Do you think that we’ll ever be able to live without any titans to worry about?” Krista snaps her mouth shut, finally.
They both lay there in silence for a minute. Ymir hasn’t said anything. Why hasn’t she said anything? Krista covers her face with her hands and lets out a little groan, embarrassment coursing through her veins.
Krista perks up as she hears Ymir’s voice, “I think that each expedition brings us closer to the goal,” Ymir starts cautiously. “But retaking the wall is going to take a while. It’s swarming with titans and with the amount of people we lose each expedition I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon.”She pauses for a moment, and then lets out a little snort. “And don’t base anything off of Hange of all people. Everyone knows she’s insane, but they go along with her crazy schemes anyway. And I wouldn’t want you turning into a madwoman like her.”
Krista pondered her words for a moment, pursing her lips slightly before sighing, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
She risked a glance at Ymir, and was suddenly face to face with the intimidatingly beautiful woman beside her. Krista realized then, just how close they were. She could feel the warmth of Ymir’s breath on her face.
They laid there, staring at each other for what seemed like hours. Ymir’s eyes had an unusual softness to them as she gazed at Krista. She didn’t think she had ever seen Ymir look at her like that before, and it both frightened and elated her.
Krista’s eyes moved down to Ymir’s lips, and for a moment she could only think about how badly she wanted to kiss them, but she internally slapped herself for just thinking it. She moved her gaze back up to meet Ymir’s again. Ymir shifted her body to where she was leaning mostly on her side, head lying on the ground, somehow bringing them even closer.
They were too close and yet not close enough to each other. She wanted to reach out and cup Ymir’s face in her hands but she resisted. And as they laid there Krista felt that being here with Ymir, under the cover of stars and darkness, was the most intimate thing she had ever experienced.
***
Historia awoke with a pounding headache. She flinched and brought a hand up to massage her temples, working in slow circles. The dream from the night before made her body feel as heavy as lead, weighing down on her heart and soul. She sat up slowly, using her other hand to support her weight behind her.
James was already awake and getting dressed. He glanced at her for a moment, and then went back to buttoning up his flannel.
Historia brought herself to the edge of the bed and flung her legs off the side, standing up slowly. She turned and found James staring at her with a sour expression, brows drawn tightly together.
“Is something the matter?” She asked pointedly.
He laughed dryly and shook his head in disbelief. “You were calling her name last night.”
Historia froze, sucking in a tight breath before responding, “Whose?”
James’ eyes immediately lit up with fury, and he slammed his hand on the top of the dresser. “Don’t act like you don’t know Historia!” He yelled, “You know damn well whose fucking name it was.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Historia said defensively.
“You don’t-“ he laughed, bringing up his hands to his head as he paced back and forth for a few steps. He stopped again, staring daggers at Historia. “Who else would it be? Huh? Who else besides that beast you called a woman?”
The world stopped spinning with those words, and Historia lit up with anger. Her previous words forgotten.
“Don’t you ever call her that again,” she seethed, balling her fists. “She was the most wonderful person I have ever met on this godforsaken planet. She was kind, and funny, and she actually cared about me.Unlike you. And I wish every single day that she was still here with me instead of you.”
“But she’s not here!” James screamed. “She’s dead! She’s been dead for years. You need to wake up Historia.”
He walked towards Historia, his tall figure looking down menacingly at her. He grabbed her wrist, throwing her off balance. “You are married to me. As much as you hate that fact it’s still true. You are my wife. And I don’t appreciate my wife to be thinking about someone else. Much less a woman like that. I have allowed you to hold onto that letter that you think you’ve hidden so well, don’t make me regret it.”
Historia stared up at him. She felt as if she was on fire. Her body was shaking from a mixture of fear and fury. His hand was still gripping her wrist hard, and she yanked with all of her strength to free it. As soon as she was free she backed away, rubbing her burning wrist.
“Don’t you ever touch me like that again James,” she spat.
James opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off by the sound of Amelia.
Amelia’s small voice sounded from outside the door, “Mommy!”
“I’ll be right there, baby,” Historia called back. She quickly gathered clothes from the dresser and rushed out the bedroom door, ignoring James’ icy stare.
In the hallway, Amelia walked in slow circles, babbling to herself. At the sight of Historia, she squealed and flung herself at her legs. Tripping over her small feet in the process.
Historia smiled warmly, and scooped her up in one arm, kissing her cheek. Amelia’s hair was wild, sticking out in every which way. Historia cocked an eyebrow in confusion as she noticed her nightgown was on backwards. Did I do that? She wondered to herself, before letting out a small sigh.
“Let’s go brush your teeth, sweet pea,” she said as she walked them over to the bathroom. Historia set down the clothes she was holding in one arm on the counter, and lowered Amelia to the floor again.
They went through their morning routine smoothly, except for when Amelia had sprayed toothpaste everywhere when she had insisted on squeezing it out herself. Historia had Amelia sit outside the bathroom while she changed out of her night clothes, even though the little girl had protested on the other side of the door the entire time.
Historia walked out of the bathroom, taking Amelia’s hand in her own, and they made their way down to the kitchen.
The kitchen consisted of a stovetop and oven, a sink, and very limited counter space. Historia deposited Amelia on one of the kitchen chairs and made quick work with breakfast.
As she cooked, she thought about her dream the night before. It had been so long since she had seen Ymir, that even seeing her in dreams felt like a gift. Historia remembered that night very clearly. Ymir had woken her up in the middle of the night and told her to get dressed. If it had been anyone else telling Historia to do something like that it would’ve been a flat out no. But something had felt different with Ymir, so she had agreed. They had snuck out of their barracks, and Ymir had brought her to a wide open field, with no trees to block their view of the sky. They had laid there for hours, watching the stars and pointing out constellations. That was the night where Historia had realized she felt more than friendship towards Ymir. And under the starry sky with her, anything had felt possible. She felt like she could’ve conquered the world.
Historia finished scrambling the eggs and deposited them onto two plates, deliberately not fixing James a plate. She spread a bit of jam on a small piece of toast and cut it diagonally, giving one side to Amelia and the other to herself. She picked them up and carried them over to the table where Amelia was. The child was in her own fantasy world at the moment, pitting the two corn husk dolls she was holding in a battle against each other.
Historia set down the plate in front of Amelia, “Alright little miss, save the battle for after breakfast.”
“Okay!” Amelia chirped, setting the dolls off to the side with upmost care.
Historia noticed the mug she had left on the table the night before, and hurried to set it in the sink before sitting down in her chair.
She picked at her food, only taking a few bites. She glanced out the window at the snow covered earth. All evidence of grass or dirt beneath had been covered, and the pine trees in the distance all glistened with the freshly fallen snow.
Historia took her time eating, nodding along to all of Amelia’s ramblings about who knows what.
After they had finished, Amelia went back to waging war with her dolls, and Historia stood to clean up.
Historia reached across the table to grab Amelia’s plate when a figure outside caught her eye. She searched the surrounding area from the window and frowned a bit. She swore someone was just there, but the snow had no footprints to prove it.
Oh well. She thought. She must still be waking up.
Historia stacked both plates on top of each other and made her way to the sink. She was almost there when she heard someone calling for her.
“Historia.”
Historias breath caught in her throat and she stopped in her tracks. That voice. She could recognize that voice anywhere.
“Historia,” it called again.
She dropped the dishes she was holding and spun around, frantically searching for the person speaking. The dishes exploded on impact on the ground, leaving glass shards everywhere. But Historia didn’t care. Nothing else mattered in that moment.
Her heart was beating frantically and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She had heard Ymir’s voice.