james was so tired.
tired of trying to be the perfect son, friend, boyfriend.
tired of being there for everyone, but never having someone for himself.
tired of pretending.
but, didn't he want this in the first place? he didn't want his friends to know, he didn't want them to worry. why would he be sad because they didn't know?
so pathetic.
his head started spinning softly, his chest felt heavy.
so pathetic.
he was hiding here, at the astronomy tower, because of what? the problems he imagined? c'mon, his friends had real issues. remus was a fucking werewolf and his parents left him. sirius had an awful family. and james? james was the golden boy, the boy with loving parents, the talented, handsome one. what problems could he have?
so pathetic.
he felt warm tears spilling down his face. his hands trembled as he fastly started wiping the tears away. like he could make them disappear if he was fast enough. his chest was feeling very heavy now, he felt like he couldn't breathe.
"no, no, no..." he heard himself muttering.
oh, so pathetic.
he heard footsteps and he tried to compose himself. but well, that was no use because the person was already sliding his arm around him and holding him tight.
"hey... it's gonna be alright..." james heard regulus' whispers. he really, really wanted to believe that it would be alright. but he knew he was too broken to be fixed.