I'm trying to stifle my sings
Regulus is at the station, King's Cross, waiting for Barty and Evan to board the train. He just had a quick encounter with his brother, Sirius, who only gave him a quick wave before spotting Remus and Peter and going after them. Deep down, he is glad that Sirius saw the boys, and he just goes after them, 'cuz it is enough to have to tolerate the annoying noise of the other people there; having an awkward conversation with his brother would make it worse.
So, there he is now, starting a new year in Hogwarts, Regulus is not very excited about that, honestly. ¿What would be new? ¿What would be different? Everything's going to be the same, like the other years.
His brother being problematic.
His brother being deep and stupidly in love with Remus (but never telling him, even if everyone knows at this point)
And the idiot (the love of this life) of James Potter being annoying pain in the ass and just following the girl who never gives a shit about him (Reg actually understands Lily in that, James is so annoying... isn't he?)
OH! Of course there is something new; ¿how can he forget about that? His best friends finally started dating. (He is really happy for those dumb guys being in love... but he just wants to die right now and not be the third wheel.)
And Dorcas is with Marlene...
He even heard rumors about Peter and some Hufflepuff girl or something like that.
So, everyone is in a situationship, a relationship, whatever you want to call it...
Everyone but him.
And that's okay.
Really.
He is fine.
He is on his own.
Who wants that actually? Love???? That doesn't even exist. The stupidest idea ever.
Being in love should be so annoying, boring, and stressful. Why would he want someone with him every day, all day... following him? Asking stupid questions like if he is okay or if he needs something and kissing him, and making little love tokens when they are in public or BIG love tokens because their love for him is too much and it just needs to be screamed from the Astronomy Tower, holding his hands...
No.
He definitely doesn't need that.
He doesn't need anyone.
He feels sick just thinking about it.
And no one (not even himself) believes that
shit.
No when that stupid boy and his stupid circular glasses and his messy wavy hair and that dumb silly (beautiful) smile, and even worse when his laught comes to his ears, ''cuz when that happens... his damn stomach feels those ugly butterflies, and his heartbeats are too fast, and he thinks the other person can hear them, and he just wants to disappear.
Just like right now.
"Reggie! How are you?" James approaches him with a friendly smile, calling him by that silly nickname that James started to give him in the middle of last year (Regulus doesn't even know where that came from), and suddenly the platform seems so small, as if he had nowhere to run. But at the same time, it is as if only they were there.
"Don't call me like that, Potter. What do you want?" He asks in a cutting tone, almost mad, contrary to how it really feels.
"I j- I just want to know if you have seen Sirius." James looks a little ashamed, and Reg doesn't understand why, because James never looks ashamed.
"Uhm, yeah, he stopped me for a second, then saw Remus and Pettigrew and went after them... you know... Sirius sees Remus and everything disappears." Was he projecting himself? Probably.
"You're right, I'll look for him on the train... Thanks and see you, Reggie" James said with a smile and quickly boarded the train..
Reg didn't even get to complain about that nickname again, he is in trouble, he knows, 'cuz usually when Sirius and all the pack are around, Regulus doesn't hesitate to act cold as if his very existence disturbs his peace (well, the existence of James sure was disturbing), but since his subconscious accepts the fact that he IS in love with James Potter (like... deep in love), he can't help but get nervous almost flushed, when James is around him. It's embarrassing.
His mouth and brain can't work together; he really struggled to answer a simple question (poor Reg doesn't recognize himself).
And he hates that feeling.
He hates it because he knows James will never feel the same.
And he hates it because James probably feels exactly the same about Evans.
A hand shakes him a little bit, bringing him out of his trance.
"It looks like you saw a ghost, Reg" Evan says
"Worse... I talked with Potter."
And almost anyone could believe he was mad about it, for the way he says it, but no Evan, and much less Barty.
"Let the kid breathe, Evan; he probably held his breath the whole time he was together with Potter." If Barty knows one thing, it is how to annoy him, sometimes unconsciously, but also that Barty is tired of listening to Reg's complaints about Potter for hours instead of accepting that he is in love with him and doing something about it.
It's a Black's thing, isn't it?
"Shut up, Barty."
Is the only thing that the youngest Black says before boarding the train, looking for a single cabin, and for his good luck... there was none left.
"Reg!" Rosier spoke from the other side of the wagon: "Pandora, Dorcas, McKinnon, and Cissa are here; Barty and I will go with them, your brother is further back; I think there is still space with them."
Evan tries not to smirk while he raises his eyebrows suggestively, just to go into the cabin, and he disappears from Regulus' sight.
He thinks about it for a moment. There are two options: go with annoying stangers in the tables, or go with his brother and with James, Pettigrew doesn't talk with him (probably he is scared of Regulus), and Remus is good; Reg likes him.
Before he could notice, he was heading in the direction of his brother. When he finally found the cabin where he was, he had to take a deep breath before going in.
He opens the door slowly, finding four confused boys.
"¿Can I? The train is full." Regulus explained before they even questioned him.
"Sure" James answered quickly. He moved, putting his feet down from the seat in front of him, so Regulus could take the seat.
The way he answered was strange for Sirius, but he quickly forgot about that, Prongs is... well, Prongs. He is nice to everyone (almost everyone).
The train started to move. James was next to Peter, who was just staring at the window. In front of them, Sirius leaned against Remus, who was between both Blacks'.
Regulus wondered if he would ever be able to go with James like that.
This would be a long (LONG) way to Hogwarts.