Chapter 2
Sirius had a sensational night. He spent his night with his best friend, his brother, and his brother’s new friend and they all got thoroughly drunk together. What could possibly be better? That question stayed in Sirius’ mind the entire night until the haze of alcohol silenced his thoughts because despite the fun atmosphere, something felt off to Sirius. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was and it was maddening. Something, some voice in the back of his mind, told him it was something about the friend his brother brought. But what? Sirius couldn’t tell you.
Remus is truly an amazing person. Once he got comfortable, he turned out to be one of the best people Sirius has ever met. Maybe it was the fact Remus had gotten so close so fast to Regulus; maybe it was the visible unease Remus felt until the alcohol relaxed him; maybe it was how Remus looked at Sirius through glazed eyes.
Whatever it was, it felt like something was missing when he looked back at Remus. As though there was something… more. More of what? Sirius has no clue.
These constant questions and thoughts about Remus are what Sirius is blaming the dream on.
A dream of heat. Hands in his hair, on his body. Lips on his own. Hooded, brown eyes looking down on him.
Sirius shoots up in his bed, panting and trembling. How could he dream about a man he just met? How could a dream scenario feel so.. familiar?
Despite his thoughts surrounding Remus being curious, that’s what Sirius blames for the dream. Though he can’t fall asleep again, worried the same dream will play behind his eyes now that it’s in his mind.
~0~
Sirius manages to gain some more sleep, but is woken up by incessant knocks on his door and his brother's voice repeating his name.
Sirius climbs out of bed to open the bedroom door and ask, “What do you want?”
“Good morning to you too,” Regulus remarks as he slides past Sirius to sit on his bed, “Are you coming with me to the cafe?”
Sirius internally panics at the thought of facing Remus after the dreams (yes, there was another) he had last night.
“No, I’m going to stay. Hangover,” Sirius explains, rubbing at the back of his neck and not meeting Regulus’ eyes. It’s not necessarily a lie; he does feel the beginnings of a headache and still has some lingering nausea.
“Alright,” Regulus replies slowly, “Should I get you anything there?”
“Yeah, sure. I don’t care what,” Sirius says while climbing back into bed and getting under the covers. He listens to the sounds of Regulus leaving his room, rummaging around the house and then walking out the door, closing it behind him.
Regulus arrives about an hour later with a coffee for Sirius.
“Remus is coming over after his shift,” Regulus announces after he hands Sirius his coffee. He nearly chokes on the first sip and Regulus gives him a funny look.
“Is that okay?” Regulus asks with an arched eyebrow.
“Yeah. Yeah, no it’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be? He’s your friend,” Sirius says too fast to be normal. Regulus doesn’t question him though, not verbally at least. Regulus leaves Sirius’ room, leaving Sirius to silently panic.
How is he supposed to look Remus in the eye now?
~0~
Sirius spends his time fretting while the day carries on in a turtle-slow crawl. Suddenly Remus is at the flat Sirius and Regulus share and the day seems to have passed at lightning speed to Sirius.
Sirius is making food in the kitchen when the doorbell sounds, making him go still. Regulus comes by, going to open the door while muttering, “That should be Remus.”
Sure enough, it is, in fact, Remus. Sirius wishes he had a good excuse to hide out in his bedroom.
Regulus’ and Remus’ voices carry into the kitchen from the entryway and then they’re moving towards the kitchen; Sirius’ stomach ties itself into nervous knots.
“Oh. Hi, Sirius,” Remus greets when he sees Sirius in the kitchen, “Regulus didn’t mention you two live together.”
Sirius turns to look at Remus, regretting it immediately as flashes of his dreams play in his mind, but Remus is glaring slightly at Regulus for some reason unknown to Sirius.
“Did I forget to mention that?” Regulus asks with a sly voice, tilting his head slightly and sounding like he meant to leave that detail out. Sirius’ confusion continues to grow.
“Can’t imagine why he wouldn’t mention that, but hi, Remus,” Sirius resists the urge to cringe at how clumsy the words sound spilling out of his mouth. He can’t meet Remus’ gaze without his dreams replaying in his mind so he focuses on the food he’s making.
“Right, well we’re going to watch a movie,” Regulus announces after a small stretch of silence, “Feel like joining?”
No. “Sure,” Sirius replies, “I’ll come to the living room once I finish with this.”
Regulus and Remus go to the living room while bickering over what movie to watch. Sirius finds himself feeling jealous of their closeness. He shakes his head, deciding to think about that in depth never, and finishes making his food.
By the time he’s done and joined the other two on the sofa, they’ve seem to come to an agreement on a movie. Sirius isn’t giving the movie any attention because he ended up having to sit next to Remus. Whether Regulus made sure of this outcome or not, Sirius doesn’t know but he wouldn’t put that past his brother.
Sirius glances at Regulus, who has a small smirk on his face; that’s all Sirius needs to know that he planned this seating arrangement. Sirius quietly curses him.
The moving screen suddenly freezes in place and Regulus stands up saying, “We need more popcorn, I’ll be right back.”
Both Sirius and Remus glare daggers at Regulus as he makes his way to the kitchen. They sit in suffocating silence; Sirius picks at the armrest of the sofa because he can feel Remus’ eyes on him.
Don't speak. Don’t speak. Don’t speak. Don’t-
“Is everything okay?” Remus asks, sounding cautious.
Sirius doesn’t dare look at him as he rushes out, “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Are you sure? You seem… I don’t know, anxious?” Remus sounds genuinely worried so Sirius turns to look at him.
The moment their eyes meet, the world melts away. To Sirius, he and Remus are the only people who exist in the entire universe. It’s a simple thing, eye contact, but it feels world changing. Sirius desperately hopes Remus feels it too.
Sirius tries to reply to Remus’ question, but the words die on his tongue. All he can do is stare back at Remus. Hazel eyes on silver ones. Even in the dim light, Sirius can almost make out specks of green in Remus’ eyes.
Beautiful.
Regulus returns and the moment shatters, the broken pieces scattering around them as they spring apart. Sirius doesn’t remember ever moving closer to Remus, but he realizes now how close they got.
Sirius’ heart is racing in his chest. He worries his heartbeat can be heard over the movie. He worries Regulus saw him and Remus as close as they were. He worries about the way his body is set ablaze by his leg pressed against Remus’.
Suddenly, the end credits are playing and Sirius realizes he has no clue what movie was playing in the first place.
“Should we-”
Regulus is interrupted by the door swinging open to reveal James who immediately announces himself by loudly saying, “I have arrived!”
“Giving him a key was the worst idea ever Sirius,” Regulus completely ignores James, talking to his brother instead.
“No, it wasn’t,” James denies, closing the door, “Ohh, what are we watching?” he asks as he makes his way to the sofa.
“Nope, you’re sitting on the floor,” Regulus declares when James tries to sit on the side not occupied by Remus. James fakes a pout.
“Don’t be so mean, Reg,” Sirius snorts. Regulus rolls his eyes, but nonetheless allows James to sit next to him.
James settles in; they put on another movie and talk over it; they laugh and enjoy themselves. Sirius feels incredibly at peace and would be content to live in this moment forever; surrounded by warmth and joy, what more could he need?
He drifts off to the voices of his friends and brother, hardly aware of the fact his head is laying on Remus’ shoulder. In his dreams, he and Remus live a perfect life, side by side and never needing anything more.
~0~
Sirius awakes alone on the sofa. He has no clue when the others left or what time it is.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Regulus’ voice startles Sirius; he turns and sees his brother leaning on the wall the sofa is placed against.
“Feel like coming with me to Remus’ cafe today?”
“Yeah, sure,” Sirius replies, rubbing at his eyes and stretching. Despite being ashamed of the dreams he’s been having, they’ve planted in him a need to see Remus, to be around him.
So about half an hour later, the brothers make their way to the cafe and are greeted by Remus’ small smile. Sirius’ stomach flips at the sight of him.
Something inside him tells him he’s supposed to feel this way about Remus and Remus only, that it’s right and how things should be. Sirius shoves those thoughts away. He just met this man a few days ago; he shouldn’t be feeling all that he does for Remus. At least not so soon.
“Sirius,” Regulus’ voice startles him from his thoughts.
Sirius looks at his brother, then at Remus. He’s realized they’ve been talking to him while he was lost in his head.
“Sorry, what?” Sirius asks dumbly, blinking at his brother who rolls his eyes at him.
“Do you feel like going out with us tonight?” Regulus asks, sounding like he’s asked about five times before.
“Oh, of course! We’ll have a splendid time,” Sirius announces with a wink.
“Are you going to bring James?” Remus asks, grabbing Sirius’ attention. Sirius turns to meet his gaze and his mind goes blank for a second when he sees Remus looking back at him.
“Of course I will,” Sirius answers at the same time Regulus mutters, “He will never not bring James”.
A few hours later finds Sirius, Regulus, Remus, and James walking into a pub; James relentlessly flirting with Regulus and Regulus relentlessly teasing James; Remus and Sirius laughing at James’ failed flirting attempts.
As the drinks pile up, Regulus returns James’ flirting in an odd way that seems to be working on James, and Sirius… Well the drinks have made him bold.
“You’re really quite” —hiccup— “handsome, Remus. Did you know?” Sirius slurs out, leaning forward and moving closer to Remus.
Remus looks at Regulus with a panicked look, but Regulus is too busy with James to notice.
“Don’t look at my brother,” Sirius says a bit petulantly.
“Sirius, you’re drunk.”
“I don’t have to be drunk to see how handsome you are, Remus.”
“Just drunk to actually say it?” Remus asks with an unreadable expression and an indecipherable tone.
“N-no, but the drinks do make me bold,” Sirius replies with a slight smirk.
Remus shakes his head and downs his drink. The rest of the night passes in a blur and Sirius doesn’t remember much past that moment.
~0~
Sirius wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. At least he’s in his bed and not on the sofa this time; he doesn’t even remember getting home.
He slowly climbs out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen, jumping in surprise when he walks in.
“Holy fuck, you scared me,” Sirius announces, a little breathless.
Remus turns to look at Sirius as he says, “Sorry, Regulus called a cab last night and decided James and I were staying the night”.
“Ah, well I was just coming to get-”
“This?” Remus interrupts, holding up a bottle of aspirin with a small smile. He tosses it to Sirius, who catches it and immediately takes out two of the pills.
A tense silence fills the kitchen after Sirius takes his pills; Remus shifts awkwardly on his feet, avoiding eye contact while Sirius’ mind flashes memories of a conversation.
A conversation with Remus. Last night. While he was drunk. Cold dread fills his stomach as he remembers how he flirted with Remus and he freezes in place in the kitchen.
“Um.. I should probably leave. Let Reg know I left when he gets up, yeah?” Remus says, already making his way to the front door.
Sirius instantly wants to make him stay, but what reason does he have? He can’t think of an excuse so all he does is mutter a reply and watch Remus leave.
He decides right then that he will never get drunk around Remus again.