Chapter 5
“I’ll show you to your room, love.” Euphemia says gently after a few hours of lounging in the living room. Regulus tossed and turned but refused to go to his bedroom. Until now. It is only past four but exhaustion weighs down Regulus’ eyelids. While the couch he has been sleeping on is comfier than most, it is still not as ideal as a proper bed. Something the Potters have already made up apparently. “We even have your room ready.”
Past all of Regulus’ panic and fear about what that means, is curiosity. He is slightly eager to see how a pride of lions decorate a snakes’ den. Euphemia leads Regulus out of the living room, through the kitchen, past dozens of painted hallways, to the main staircase. The staircase leads up four floors. Euphemia stops them on the second floor and trails down the corridor with three doors on the left wall and two on the right. There is one big door at the end of the hall. Regulus follows Euphemia down the hall. The doors on the right both have different posters on them. As well as red and yellow ties on the door handles. The first door on the left side is busted up at the bottom. Paint is peeling off and the door handle is dented in two different places. Regulus assumes that room is his until Euphemia moves further down the hall to the next door.
“Mr. Potter and I weren’t sure what you’d like in your room so James and Sirius decorated most of it. We can change anything you don’t like.” Euphemia gestures to the plain white door. Regulus just stares for a minute. His room? He knew he had a room here but seeing the doorknob makes it almost too real. He reaches out numbly. His fingers wrap around cold metal. The gold hinges creek with effort as Regulus pushes open the door. Regulus sharply inhales when he surveys the room. Where his room at Grimmauld is primarily black, everything in the Potter home is dark brown. From the floors to the furniture. Regulus bets all of the wood is from an authentic maple.
The room itself is quite plain. You could tell James and his brother were hesitant when they decorated it. As if they didn’t want to get their hopes up in case Regulus didn’t run away. There is a small collection of books occupying a shelf above a small desk illuminated by a lap. The bed is a large double with a dark green duvet and silver sheets and pillows. The walls are pretty barren. There is a picture frame of a white lily flower in the water hanging above a solid wood dresser. The small picture makes Regulus long for his friend and technical fiance Pandora Rosier.
Regulus runs his palm across the piece. He pulls out empty drawers of the dresser. The furniture is sturdy. Next, he trails his finger along the footboard of his bed. The desk is in the left corner of the room, next to a small alcove with a bench and several, surrounding windows. A smile threatens. Regulus clears his throat and turns to Mrs. Potter. Euphemia is observing him with baited breath. “It’s beautiful, Mrs. Potter.” He observes. Euphemia blows out a breath. “I know it’s not much right now but we can get more-”
“It’s already more than I had before.” Regulus grins. Euphemia tears up. Regulus’ face drops. “I-I don’t know how someone could be so cruel to their own blood.” She cries softly. Regulus wants to comfort her but the mere thought of physical touch right now makes him itch. Fear cements him to the ground.
Fleamont comes into the room not five minutes later. He looks between Regulus and his crying wife. Regulus sheepishly rubs his right arm with his left hand. What must Mr. Potter be thinking? Fleamont frowns. He opens his mouth, confused. “¡Son tan malas con sus hijas!” Euphemia sobs. She immediately relaxes into her husband when Fleamont hugs her from behind. “I p-promise I didn’t do anything!” Regulus backs towards the glass window behind him. It would be quite a fall but he has better odds of surviving a fall from a second story window than defending himself against a raging husband. Euphemia’s cries quiet and she sniffles. “Here’s your wand, love. I’ll send Gully up when it's time for dinner.” The woman shakily holds out Regulus’ wand. Regulus hastily snatches it up. He doesn’t mean too. He just feels so helpless without his wand. Wandless magic can only get an underaged wizard so far in the world.
When Fleamont and Euphemia leave him to his room, Regulus flops back on his new bed. A sense of ‘what now?’ threatens to take hold. At the end of the day, Regulus has nothing. He has been kicked out and is hiding out at the Potters. ‘Of all places!’ Regulus could’ve gone to Pandora’s house but the girl is always travelling on break. Barty and Evan were obvious non-choices. Everyone else was at Grimmauld that night. They’d likely turn him over to his parents before hearing him out first. Regulus sighs. So what does he have? One; a place to live, food on the table, clean water. Everything humans need to survive. The issue is not getting killed. Regulus makes an effort to focus on the former.
There are stars on his ceiling. Honest to Godric stars. The glow in the dark kind that Sirius got him for his birthday. Their mother found them not a week later and went ballistic. Sirius took the blame for them. As he always did. Regulus used to wish his brother wouldn’t do that. Anytime Regulus messed up when they were younger, Sirius would take the fall. “Look what I did mum! I cut Regulus’ hair!” Regulus hadn’t gotten a haircut in months. A cure and unusual punishment. Still, Regulus hated his long hair. “Look mum! I tore this painting!” Regulus had fallen through an old portrait. “Look mum! Look-” Regulus rolls over. He muffles a groan into one of the silver pillows. He chucks the pillow across the room. He only feels a little bad when the pillow audibly hits the ground.
Regulus stares at the star-covered ceiling. He picks one star to focus on but his eyes automatically connect it to the next one. Then the one diagonally from it. Cancer. The Cancer constellation. Regulus smiles stupidly. He can feel that his brother did this. Only he knows about Regulus' fascination with space. Even since he was young, Regulus started reading every astronomy book in Grimmauld Library. Sirius even stole one for Regulus. Remus had found it First Year in the Hogwarts library. Regulus was secretly jealous of his brother. Sirius had access to over a thousand space books at Hogwarts but he still refused to step foot in any book-dominant space.
He falls asleep under the celestial ceiling. The Sirius and Regulus stars glow above him.
Regulus wakes half on and half off of the huge bed. There are also three pills, a glass of water, and a note on his bedside. Regulus sits up and reaches for the note.
Regulus,
You missed Dinner. Don’t worry, no one’s mad at you! You’ll be tired the next few days as your body recovers from the curse. James, Sirius, and Remus arrive this afternoon. I’ll tell them not to disturb you.
Lots of Love! - Effie
P.S: The pills are for healing, strength, and alertness. Red, blue, and green respectively!
Shameful panic rises in Regulus. He downs each pill, one by one. Then, he gets up off his bed and immediately locks his door. He will never get tired of being able to do that. The alarm clock on his bedside table shows it’s quarter past six am. It is still dark outside. The sun hasn’t even begun to rise yet. Euphemia said the boys would be back in the afternoon. His fear is irrational really. He slides down the locked bedroom door. The floor is arguably more familiar to him than the bed. All floors are the same. Whether they’re carpeted or hardwood. A cold floor has kept Regulus company more nights than he cares to count. When his parents beat him bloody and Regulus decides to spare the House Elves the extra laundry, he sleeps on the floor. Other times, he is simply too weak to drag himself onto his bed.
Regulus feels his bones to be stronger than they were even a few hours ago. He has the full capabilities to drag himself to his bed. He chooses to remain on the floor. Regulus thinks of his brother's reaction to seeing him again. Sirius will definitely be mad. Regulus has been awful to him and his friends since he met them his First Year. Not to mention, he’s a Slytherin. Severus Snape, the Marauders main target. Regulus is affiliated with the boy by association. He doesn’t blame the Marauders for bullying Snape though. He bloody well deserves it. It’s commonly assumed that all of Slytherin House is full of blood purist assholes like Snape. If that was the case, Regulus would go on a killing spree. Instead, Regulus knows the truth. Most Slytherins only care about blood quantums when their family is around. Or it suits them. Severus is often picked on by his own house mates for his own bigoted views. Same with Mulciber and that Avery girl.
James' reaction shouldn’t be much different. Sirius would have told him all the awful stories of his little brother. The two boys are as thick as thieves. Everyone in Hogwarts knows it. Even Remus Lupin. Remus is another Marauder. He actually seems to take his studies seriously. He visits the library at the same time as Regulus. Mostly, they just read in silence. They have hung out a few times though. Especially at the end of Regulus’ fourth year. Regulus gut churns at the thought of Remus seeing him like this. James would treat him like he treated Sirius when he was kicked out, Sirius would be sympathetic because he knows the type of abuse Regulus went through, but Remus is a wild card. The older boy knows Regulus as the smartest, most powerful wizard in Hogwarts. Not the weak, timid, and afraid boy the Cruciatus made him into.
“Regulus, dear. Are you awake?” Euphemia knocks gently on the door. Regulus gasps and immediately stands. He fumbles to unlock the door and throws it open. “Good morning, Mrs. Potter.” Regulus downcasted his gaze. He slightly bows his head. Just as he was taught to do when greeting superior wizards. Euphemia swats her hand in the air. Regulus is sure he’s about to get hit. For what, he’s not sure. Instead, Euphemia just sighs. “Please hun, call me Effie. No need for this stance either. I just wanted to tell you to help yourself to some fresh clothes. James’ old clothes should fit you.” She looks Regulus up and down. Regulus nods and opens his mouth. “Oh! James’ room is that one-” she points to the first door on the right, “your brothers’ is the door next to Jamie’s, and Remus is your neighbour!” Euphemia gestures to each door. Regulus gets stuck on the door Euphemia named Sirius’. The door has several posters of different bands/singers. David Bowie, The Beatles, and Queen. There are also a dozen stickers. Regulus doesn’t recognise most of them but he names a few. The red tongue sticker, Regulus recalls from when Andromeda sent Sirius The Rolling Stones new album. Sirius played that record at every opportunity.
There are also five polaroids stuck on the door. Regulus has the urge to get closer and look at what’s on the photos but carries on to look at James Potter's door. The Wimborne Wasp poster is the largest. There is another poster of one of the Wimborne Chasers. Regulus tsks under his breath. Euphemia catches the noise. Her eyes brighten. “What Quidditch Team do you support hun?” She inquires. Regulus’ throat is dry. He’s only answered this question when his dorm mates have asked. None of the other Slytherins took an interest. He swallowed. “Tutshill Tornados.” Regulus says quietly.
Euphemia smiles. “I personally go for Holyhead Harpies. Those girls have stamina! Anyways, I’ll let you change. Breakfast is ready whenever.” Euphemia leaves Regulus and heads downstairs. Regulus peeks into the hallway. There are two doors Euphemia did not talk about. The room to his left and the room at the end of the hall. Deep down, Regulus has the strong urge to open both doors and inspect the rooms beyond. He chastises himself for the thought and proceeds to James’ room. The older boys’ room is as much an eyesore as Regulus predicted. There are Quidditch posters everywhere. Every piece of furniture, even the pillow cases, are red and yellow. Regulus speed walks to the closet.
The closet is predictably no better. Most of James’ clothes must be with him on his camping trip. Regulus passes on all the Quidditch memorabilia and grabs a plain black V-neck T-shirt and ripped, charcoal grey jeans. They aren’t the most wizard-like attire but Regulus doesn’t care. Anything is better than the mustard yellow, Gryffindor, crop top/sweater situation Regulus spotted. He goes back to his room to change. The clothes are a size too big for Regulus but fit. He crosses his arms over his stomach self-consciously. That doesn’t hide anything at all. His eyes are drawn to the scars covering his arms. They are like starbursts of destruction. There isn’t one clear section of skin for miles. Regulus peels off James’ shirt and stares. He’s suddenly glad there isn’t a mirror in his room. He would probably put his fist through it right now. Regulus’ whole upper body is marred with starburst-like marks. Some are still scabbing. Euphemia must’ve sped up the healing process.
Regulus could scream. Pure rage fills him. For the first time in two days, Regulus gets angry at his parents. How dare they. The audacity. His looks were always of the utmost importance in the eyes of his parents. Seeing the marks they tarnished his flesh with is hypocrisy at its finest. Regulus is livid. He yanks the shirt back on and storms out of his room. ‘Now it's official’ Regulus thinks. This is his parents' nail in his coffin.
He doesn’t know where he’s going now. Potter Manor is almost as big as Grimmauld Place. Regulus finds himself in an unused room with sheets over all of the furniture. Regulus wishes he could smash it all. Magic is crackling violently in the air around Regulus. His magic is responding to his emotions. Regulus needs to shut this shit down. ASAP. He casts wandless magic as easy as breath. “Accio violin!” He holds out his hand expectantly. He knows the Potter’s have one. Even if they miraculously don’t, Regulus plays five other musical instruments. He’s betting the Potter’s have at least one of them. A decent sized, old, dusty violin materialises in Regulus’ hands. He smiles. He loves purebloods. The violins’ bow is pinned under the strings of the violin. Regulus cringes as he frees the bow and tunes the instrument. The violin is wildly out of tune but Regulus feels his rage drain from him as he turns the tuning pegs.
His magic still works well enough to knock loose the sheet on the farest wall. Regulus gasps in horror first before he realises what he just revealed. He should definitely replace the sheet. He just uncovered a miniature greenhouse. Or a failed one, more like it. There are floor to ceiling windows walling out a built out space of the room. There are also empty dirt-filled planter pots. They are various colours. Regulus doesn’t care much about planting but he is a sucker for a view. The windows provide a beautiful one. Regulus steps into the built out space and takes a breath. Then, he places the violin under his chin and recalls one of the first songs he perfected.
The music of the violin doesn’t drown out the new voices downstairs. Regulus doubts any noise could drown out Sirius Black.