James POV
It’s almost the first day of his seventh year at Hogwarts, and James is practically vibrating out of his skin. He’s so incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to go to such a prestigious school and play the sport that he loves so much. Hockey has been a part of James’ life since he was born. His parents like to joke that his first word was hockey, and that he came out ice skating. James has had a pretty good life so far. He’s the captain of the best hockey team in the nation, and he’s practically guaranteed a spot on any NHL team he wants. He gets to play with his brother, his best friend, his Sirius. He has the best manager ever because Peter would never let them slack off. He gets to watch Remus swim like he was made for it, gets to see how happy he gets when he wins. And sure, he’s faced some criticism because he’s Hispanic and from the fact that he was born in Mexico and not America, but James tries not to let it bother him. After all, no one can tell what you look like when you put on the helmet, and no one cares who you are as long as you can win. James loves the game too much to give it up, especially from a few comments from people who don't matter.
“James? James!”
James snaps out of his thoughts to find Sirius shaking him, a worried look etched onto his face. Sirius Black is his best friend. They’ve lived together all their years at school and have lived together at home for two years. He still remembers Sirius showing up on his doorstep, bloodied and bruised and having run away from home. But none of that matters any more. He’s here, he’s safe, and he’s one hell of a hockey player. He skates like he was born for it and is ruthless on the ice. Sirius Black, his co-captain, his best friend, his brother.
“Yeah man. Sorry, padfoot, zoned out there for a bit I guess,” James says sheepishly, smiling brightly at Sirius.
“You’re all good prongs,” Sirius says, smiling back at him.
A lot of the time, James will zone off, lost in thought. Oftentimes, it'll take four or five times to get his attention, sometimes even having to be physically shaken. The doctors have told him it's because of his ADHD and his anxiety, but James doesn't really care. It's not even like he thinks bad thoughts. At least, most of the time anyways. He mostly just gets lost, thinking about an assignment or what snack to have before practice, or thinking of a way to tell Sirius about a move he wants to practice with him. Sirius is a saint when it comes to this. He's so understanding, and he never asks any questions, never forces James to talk to him. Most of the time James will tell Sirius what he was thinking about anyways. It's practically impossible for him to keep secrets, especially from his best friends. His brother, Sirius, and his best friends, Remus and Peter.
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are best friends. Always have been, always will be. They have been since the beginning of school all the way back when they were eleven. It started off with James and Peter, who have been neighbors their whole lives (though his family had moved during their second year) and have been best friends since they were two years old. Sirius came along next, the three of them growing close with each other during hockey tryouts and then the practice that started a month before school. Remus was the last to join, having been the boy in the dorm next to them. They met when James accidently walked into Remus' dorm, and they all quickly grew close, often spending the night in each other’s dorms despite it only being made for two and their different schedules. Remus got up an hour later due to him being there for swimming, but no one minded it one bit. The boys had a bond so strong, nothing would ever come between them. They were like brothers, the four of them. Remus would cheer for them at hockey, and Sirius, James, and Peter would cheer while Remus swam.
During their first year, they decided that they needed nicknames. But not just regular nicknames, oh no. The best, most important nicknames ever. James was the first to get a nickname. It was during their first official month of school that he was dubbed ‘Prongs’ because his hair looked like antlers in the morning and after practice, and because during one practice, a hockey puck broke off a piece of his face guard in the shape of an antler. Two weeks later, Sirius was donned ‘Padfoot’ after Peter and James noticed how much padding his skates had. It was after their first game, and Sirius, (for the first time ever) took his skates off while everyone was still facing him. He had not only two pairs of socks on, but what looked like the kind of padding that a ballerina would use for pointe. Remus was bestowed the name of ‘Moony’ because he knew hundreds of thousands of facts about the moon, and because of his name. It was during Greek literature class (an elective they decided to take during the fall semester), that Remus was mentioned. A name meaning wolf in Latin, and what else relates more than the moon? It was much harder for them to find a suitable nickname for Peter, and it wasn't until a week before winter break in December that he was crowned ‘Wormy’ after he ‘wormed’ himself out of detention for being out past curfew. Peter, James, and Sirius had stayed at the rink for a few more hours, wanting to get some more practice in and wanting to goof around on the ice a little bit. Professor McGonagall had caught them, and it was Peter, who explained through tears, that he had lost something important in the locker room and Sirius and James had gone with him to look for it, and boom. No detention. It was like magic.
Their first two years were comfortable, peaceful, and generally uneventful. But it was during their third year that everything got crazy. It was during one of the first games of the season, and Peter, who everyone thought just had the flu, had passed out on the ice. He wouldn't wake up and was rushed to the hospital. It turned out that he had contracted tuberculosis of the spine, and it damaged the nerves in his spine and his legs, leaving him almost completely immobile in his lower half. When he finally woke up, Peter was devastated that he couldn’t play anymore. He cried for hours and was in a deep depression for months. He was going to leave Hogwarts completely when he was offered the manager position by Coach Moody (and no, the name wasn’t a joke). That, combined with the fact that Sirius, James, and Remus begged him that Peter decided to stay and pursue academics, focusing on becoming an atheltic trainer and botany. The other tragedy of third year was when Remus didn't return after winter break. He wasn't there on the first day, and he wasn't there that first week. Then the second week. And then the third week after break. Remus returned on a Saturday after the third week back from break. Remus wouldn't tell them anything until nearly four hours later, alone in their dorms, when he broke down crying. Apparently during the break, he had a seizure and was rushed to the emergency room, where he was diagnosed with Lupus, an uncurable disease that would make him have seizures, migraines, and even caused him to get glasses during their fourth year. It took him a while, but he was eventually allowed to swim again, but he had to use crutches when he was out of the water. The disease had caused some damage in his ankles and feet, and he couldn't stand for more than thirty minutes on his own. Still, despite it all, their friendship remained strong, and possibly got even stronger. They were closer than ever, and they opened up more, shared the deepest parts of themselves with each other. That was when James confessed that he had ADHD and anxiety, and Sirius, through quiet sobs, explained that he liked both men and women. Third year was awful, but it was also the best year for them and their friendship. The boys had become more than best friends. They had become brothers.
James snaps out of his thoughts at the sound of his mom yelling for him to hurry up and get downstairs. Laughing and joking, Sirius and James grab their luggage and scurry downstairs. It takes a while to get everything packed up, and then they’re in the car. His mom is driving, and his dad is in the passenger seat. Sirius and James are in the back row, playing games like eye spy to pass the thirty-minute drive to Peter’s house. When they finally arrive, it takes them about twenty minutes to pack Peter’s things into the car, and then they’re beginning the four-hour journey to Hogwarts. Along the way, Peter tells them about some plans he has for the season and compares training drills with James, much to Sirius' dismay.
When they finally get there, it’s utter chaos. Everyone gets a new dorm every year, and to help make the process a little smoother, you have to stay in your car and drive up to the entrance booth to receive your lanyard that has your digital room key and identification, and a map. All of the sports kids are there, required to be at school a month earlier than the academic kids to start conditioning. And there are a ton of sports kids.
Hogwarts has some of the best sports teams in the world, and offers twenty-six sports in total: Hockey, Figure Skating, Volleyball, Basketball, Gymnastics, Swimming, Water Polo, Rugby, Football, Track and Field, Cross Country, Tennis, Golf, Baseball, Softball, Archery, Fencing, Boxing, Cycling, Rowing, Diving, Equestrian, Judo, Karate, Lacrosse, Wrestling, and Climbing. That’s why they have two whole buildings dedicated to housing the sport’s kids: Godric Gryffindor building and Salazar Slytherin building. The other two houses, Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw, are reserved for the academic's students.
Gryffindor house’s thirteen sports: Hockey, figure skating, volleyball, basketball, gymnastics, swimming, diving, track and field, cross country, archery, fencing, rowing, and equestrian. Slytherin houses the other thirteen sports: Water polo, rugby, football, tennis, golf, baseball, softball, cycling, judo, karate, lacrosse, wrestling, and climbing. A grand total of 570 players and twenty-six managers. 285 kids to a dorm, and each manager is with their team, which is how they've been able to stay in the same dorm with Peter.
Gryffindor House has three floors. The first floor is the common room where kids can hang out, play games, watch tv, or study. The second floor houses the boys, and the third floor houses the girls. Their head of house is Coach McGonagall, who coaches the equestrian team. James loves it. Loves the chaos of breaking curfew, loves hanging out with his best friends every day, loves living with all these talented, exceptional people. He loves being the captain of his hockey team, and the thrill of winning, the chill of the ice.
When they (finally) reach the front of the line after about forty-five minutes of waiting, his mom grabs their keys and drives up to Gryffindor house. Sirius ends up getting room 205, and Peter (once again) gets room 300. Peter always gets room 300 because it’s the only wheelchair accessible room, and he shares it with the manager of the archery team. He’s a kind boy named Colin who was born with extremely weak legs that he can only use for about thirty minutes, a fact that he and Remus have bonded over. James gets room 200, which is right across the hall from Sirius’ room.
They spend about three hours getting unpacked and setting up their dorms. Sirius’ roommate ends up being Remus (Sirius is absolutely delighted about sharing a room with his best friend for the second year in a row), but James has still yet to meet his roommate, who hasn’t yet arrived. James wonders who it'll be. Last year his roommate was a guy named Harry who did archery, and he was hardlt ever there because of everything he did on campus. His mom and dad help Peter set his room up. Around one in the afternoon James and Sirius hug their parents' goodbye (through more tears than either boy would ever admit to) before everyone piles into Sirius and Remus’ room.
Sirius sits on his bed, back against the wall. Remus sits on the desk next to it, leaning onto Sirius for support, while James sits on the floor with his back to the wall next to Peter’s wheelchair, which is next to the window, because Peter has always run cold and likes the feeling of the warmth of the sun on his skin.
“I can’t believe we’re seniors. It feels like just yesterday we were coming here for the first time,” Peter sighs, dramatically laying his hand across his forehead. During his time away from hockey, Peter has tried out many things, including art, band, and orchestra, but he really took a shine to theater, and is the head of the costuming department, as well as the sound booth. He's always going on about his production and that rehearsal, and James loves it. Loves the fact that Peter has found something that makes him this happy, loves the fact that he's so passionate about it when just a few years ago Peter thought his whole life was over. They've gone to every single show, even though Peter insists that they don't have to. Last year, they had done Hadestown and Mamma Mia, and James was in awe. It was truly amazing seeing how talented people were. James loved seeing how everyone was dressed, knowing Peter had such an important role with that.
Remus nods in agreement. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right, Wormy. I can’t believe how quickly this has all gone. It feels like just yesterday I was meeting y’all for the first time. I was so nervous y’all wouldn’t like me because I was the only one who didn’t play hockey.” At that, everyone laughs. How could anyone hate Moony? He’s so genuine and smart and is one of the kindest people James knows. Even if he is incredibly sarcastic and curses like a sailor, and has the thickest southern accent that Remus insists everyone in Alabama has.
They sit there, reminiscing on their earlier memories until the sun starts to dip and they have to leave for dinner. James' bones are achy and sore from sitting on the floor for so long, and he's glad for the excuse to get up and stretch his legs. It ends up being lasagna with a side of salad and garlic bread. It’s one of James’ favorite meals here at Hogwarts, because it’s like the staff made it with magic. He makes a mental note to thank them at some point during the year again. Because honestly, it’s the best lasagna he’s ever had. He wishes that his mom could cook for them. Afterwards, they go back to Remus and Sirius’ dorm, and they talk and laugh until around ten, when the moon is high in the sky and shining into their room.
“Alright, alright. We should probably get to bed. Especially you, James and Sirius. You have practice, and you know I won’t go easy on you during conditioning.” Peter says. James groans. He knows that as captain, a lot of the drills are his ideas, but still. Who in their right mind likes conditioning?
“How could you betray me like this Wormy? Reminding me of conditioning when I’m having fun,” James says dramatically. He’s smiling though, and he honestly can’t fucking wait for practice. Peter, being the amazing person he is, brushes off James’ dramatics by loudly proclaiming that James will have to suffer like a peasant. He then gives everyone a hug before wheeling himself out the door and down the hall to his dorm.
James sits there for a moment longer before getting up, bones once again sore from sitting in the same place for so damn long. He was going to grab a pillow, but they were being used to prop Remus' legs up. “Peter’s right. We should get some sleep. Good night, guys.” Sirius and Remus echo it and walk James to the door. They hug, and James slips into his dorm.
He notices that his roommate got here, since his side of the room is decorated. A figure skater, by the looks of it. He has some posters for some classical musicians and medals hung up on the wall, along with a few sparkly costumes. His roommate isn’t here, but James shrugs it off. It’s not that odd. After all, he could be with friends, and James busies himself with packing his hockey bag, so he doesn’t forget anything in the morning. He gets so caught up in it that he doesn’t even realize his roommate is back until the door slams shut.
He looks up, and his breath is stolen. There, standing in the door, is Regulus Black. His black curls are shining, and honestly look so soft that James wishes he could just run his hands through them. His blue eyes, so pale they look gray, are pinched up due to the scowl on his face. He’s shorter than James, but probably only by around four or five inches, and he’s thin, like a dancer because of all his years of skating. And dancing, too, James thinks. He looks like a fucking dream. James wants to hold him, to kiss him.
James straightens up, a smile on his face. Regulus’ scowl fades as he realizes that his roommate is James and he crosses the room to meet James, who pulls the younger boy into a hug. James runs a hand through Regulus’ curls, which are as soft as they look. He puts his chin on top of Regulus' head, and they stay like that for a moment, a comfortable silence falling between them.
“How was your summer, Reggie?” James asks, breaking the silence. He feels Reg tense and immediately knows how it went. Regulus’ parents made him practice harder and harder, with only a single week to himself. Overworking, underfeeding, being shitty parents in general. But still, it’s nice to ask.
“It was alright. You probably already know how it went," he pauses and laughs bitterly before squeezing James a little more. "I missed you though.” He mumbles into James' chest. They stay like that for a minute before Regulus looks up, and they kiss. A slow, languid thing, like a greeting. No heat, no rush. They have time. This is the only thing that exists. The soft ebb of this kiss. The smoothness of Regulus’ skin, the curve of his jaw. James could kiss Regulus forever, he thinks. He loves when they're alone, because Regulus lets his guard down and they can just exist. The two of them, together. They kiss for a while, until eventually, they break apart, and Regulus crosses the room to change into his pajamas.
James takes the opportunity to finish packing up his hockey bag, which he was almost finished with before Regulus arrived. He runs down his checklist as he packs his things. Socks? Check. Skates? Check. Helmet? Check. Stick? Check. Padding? Check. Gloves? James frowns. He has everything else, all of the big items and the small things, such as tape and wrap, but he’s missing his gloves, which is weird, because he could’ve sworn, he just saw them. In fact, James thought he'd already packed them, but apparently not. He looks around the floor for about five minutes, trying to find the gloves. He really needs them. He can’t play without them, and they’re expensive to replace. Plus, those are his lucky gloves. They were the gloves James had been wearing when they won the national champions and he'd been made captain. It had also been the same night him and Reg had gotten together, but that's beside the point. He needs his gloves. They're his good luck charm. If he doesn't wear them, he'll be awful.
James stands, and places his hands on his hips, trying to think of where he put his gloves. He doesn’t know how long he stands there for, but it must've been a while, because Regulus’ voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Love, what on Earth are you doing?” He asks, perched on his bed, back impeccably straight as he sits up, pajamas already on and a good way through a book that is currently being bookmarked and placed on the covers.
“I’m looking for my hockey gloves. Have you seen them?” James asks, turning to face Regulus.
“They’re on your desk, James.” Regulus deadpans. Oh. Right. He should’ve looked there instead of crawling on the floor like an idiot for five minutes and then standing around like a crazy person.
James swipes them off the desk, chuckling slightly. “Right, of course. Thanks Reg.” He shoves them in the bag and zips it, even making sure to put it next to his stick so he wouldn't forget it. Because believe it or not, James was horrible at misplacing and forgetting things. James cringes as he remembers the time he forgot his skates and had to borrow a pair of figure skates from Sirius. He honestly doesn't know how the toe pick doesn't get in the way when Regulus skates. James then changes and flops down on top of his covers.
“Sirius and Remus are right across the hall. They’re going to have to find out we’re roommates. What do you want to do, Reg?” James asks after a few minutes of lying there. When they first started dating, Regulus made it absolutely clear they couldn’t tell anyone. Not James’ parents, certainly not Regulus’, and definitely not Sirius. James agreed, but it’s a bit exhausting, not being able to tell your friends who the love of your life is.
They had started hanging out in the beginning of his sixth year. James had been up early practicing in a rink that was hardly used anymore. The figure skaters had been using it the year before, but they had gotten a new rink built over the summertime, so even they didn't use it anymore. At least, that's what James had thought, until he walked in on Regulus practicing a routine, completely oblivious to James' gawking. Over the next four months, they started to talk and hang out more on the rink. Regulus taught him something called a toe loop, and James taught him how to shoot and hit. It wasn't until he saw Regulus during one of his competitions that he realized he had a crush on Regulus. It had thrown him for a loop (no pun intended), and he spent a good, solid month freaking out over it. It wasn't the fact that it was a boy. No, James had already known that he liked boys. He had known ever since first year when he saw Remus, and he nurtured a small crush on him for a solid two months before forgetting about it. He put it all behind him when he met Lily Evans, the pretty ginger volleyball player that he crushed on until the end of their second year. James had honestly loved her so much. He didn't know when or what caused the crush to fade, but it just did, which was good because Lily definitely did not like him back.
So no, the fact that Regulus was a boy didn't bother him. It was the fact that it was Sirius' brother, the 'perfect' child in a home that valued all the wrong things. The brother who was favored because he did everything his mother wanted of him. That was the part that bothered him the most. He wanted to tell Sirius, but he got scared. What if Sirius started to hate him? What if he thought James was evil too? Would Remus and Peter start hating him? James wouldn't be able to live with himself. So, he locked it up, pretended he didn't notice the angle of his jaw, the bow of his lips, his silky, curly hair, the curve of his waist. Pretended he didn't love how Regulus was mean and had a dark sense of humor, or how he loved to listen to him prattle on about some move he just learned or a symphony he listened too. James pretended he didn't care.
It wasn't until the last two months of school that anything even happened. It started when the hockey team won the title of national champions. He met up with Regulus in an abandoned classroom that they'd been using for months. He was still high on adrenaline and not thinking clearly, and Regulus was just so damn pretty. Regulus had just been sitting there, talking excitedly about how he learned a new song on the bass that James had grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. Regulus, stiff from shock, quickly reciprocated the kiss, and if they left with flushed faces and kiss bitten lips, no one needed to know but them. And if he just so happened to end up dating Regulus, well, what Sirius didn't know wouldn't kill him...right?
“I’ll pretend to be outraged about it. I’ll throw a fit to Evan and Barty about it. James… I know this is hard for you, but if my parents find out, they’ll kick me out, disown me. I know that doesn't seem bad, considering who my parents are, but it is. It's horrible. I can't be disowned, James, I just can't. And people… what would people think about us? I know it sounds shallow, but I don’t want you to be hurt, James. I can't stand the thought of you being upset, especially over me. Because I know you would defend me with your every breath but I can't put that burden on you, and there are already disgusting people out there who don’t like you just because of who you are. I don’t want them to hate you because of me, too. Plus, if the press catches news that I might be gay… Well, let’s just say that when people thought there was a gay figure skater, he didn’t last too long after that. Kept losing more and more points from homophobic judges on such small things, being harassed on and off the ice...I can't do it, James. Figure skating is everything to me and I can't lose it. But I don't want to lose you, either.” Regulus sighs after a long moment of silence.
James sighs heavily and turns the words over. He hates this. He really does. But he won’t go against what Regulus wants. He has more to lose, almost nothing to gain. He’s right, it is dangerous. People already hate him just because of his Spanish accent, his tan skin. He doesn’t want to know what would happen if they found out he was bisexual, too. He hates how he can't tell Sirius or Remus or Peter, but James loves Regulus more than that. Loves him enough to respect his boundaries and to respect that he isn't comfortable being out yet. James understands, no matter how much it pains him.
“Okay. I understand. No matter what happens... even if I couldn't tell a single soul about us for the rest of our lives just know... just know that I love you so much, Reg. I would take every beating, every harsh word for you. I would endure it all, because you're the only thing that matters. I hate how I can't tell anyone I won't lie to you about that. But just know that I won’t ever pressure you into something you’re not ready for. Never ever. I love you, Regulus,” James says.
Regulus is quiet before he lets out a shaky breath that causes James to bolt up.
"Reggie, why are you crying?" James asks, concerned. Did he say something wrong?
"God, James. I love you so damn much it hurts. You're so kind and accepting, what did I ever do to deserve you?" Regulus breathes, full on sobbing now.
James gets up from his bed and sits down next to his boyfriend and wraps his arms around him, rubbing his arms and running his fingers through his curls. He doesn't say anything, just hold Regulus. He holds him until his sobs turn to hiccups and the hiccups turn to a yawn.
Regulus looks up at him, eyes red and puffy from crying and asks, "Will you stay?"
James smiles and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. "Of course, love. I'll stay forever."
They curl up under the covers, Regulus pressed against James, and they fall asleep, content and in love.