Chapter 8
Sirius got back to the dormitory before the others. Evan, Barty and Regulus had given him a pep talk and told him that he really needed to talk to his friends.
"Oh thank Merlin!" James yelled as the door opened and the full force of James Potter descended on Sirius, pulling him into a hug. "We were so worried."
"Can we talk?" Remus asked, Sirius nodded, hoping James would let go of him at some point. The way he had grabbed onto him was not particularly comfortable.
"You don't look well, are you okay?" Peter asked.
Sirius nodded. "Yeah."
James finally let him go and sat down beside him. "You really went home over Christmas?"
"Where did you expect me to go James? You all hated me, I couldn't stay here." Sirius said. James frowned. Sirius barely called him by name.
"We never hated you." James began. "We were angry, but we never hated you."
"Maybe we should have let you explain, but it was a bad full moon and what Snape said made sense." Remus said.
"You think I would do that to you? Even to him, I wouldn't try to kill anyone, even Snape!" Sirius fought the tears that threatened to spill. If that's what they all thought of him, maybe they were better off without him.
"No, of course not, I just... You joke around so much I... I was scared and angry and... Look it's the past. I'm not angry at you, none of us are angry at you. Let's just move forward."
"How do we move past this?" Sirius asked.
"Okay, let's all take a deep breath." Peter chimed in. "We'll just take it slow. See how we go."
Sirius nodded. "Thanks Pete." He was lucky that Peter existed, he was the emotional voice of reason..
"So, do you want to tell us what happened last night?" James asked, he was examining Sirius' hair, lamenting on how short it was.
"I got drunk by the lake." Sirius replied.
"That's it?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded. He didn't want to tell them about his other friends. They'd only just forgiven him, what if they decided to cast him out again?
"And what happened when you went home?"
"The usual." Sirius shrugged. He hadn't wanted to tell his brother what happened and he certainly didn't want to tell his friends. "How was your Christmas?"
"Oh, good, yeah. We just stayed here." James said, he was obviously trying to avoid saying too many good things incase he hurt Sirius' feelings. But Sirius' feelings were already hurt and he didn't think it could get worse.
"I was worried about you all... On the last few full moons." Sirius said. "I wasn't there to help and if something hsppened-"
"If something happened it wouldnt be your fault." Peter said firmly. "You don't have to blame everything on yourself. We all chose to become animagus to help Moony, we do this together."
"I still worried." Sirius said, but he gave Peter a smile. His friend always knew what to say. He was intuitive that way.
"Well, you'll have to come with us next time." James said. "Make it up to us."
Sirius nodded, but then he looked over at Remus, meeting his eyes. "I'm really sorry Moony."
"I know you are." Remus said after a moment. "I know you are."
"How about we celebrate this moment." James grabbed the fire whiskey from under his bed and uncorked it.
Sirius gagged and covered his mouth and nose with one hand. "Please put that away Prongs."
James closed the bottle and stared at him. "How much did you drink last night?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Peter got up and grabbed him a glass of water. "Here."
"Thanks Pete."
"I'm glad we talked." Remus said after deafening silence covered them once again. "It's nice to have you back Sirius."