This Love
Hermione-This Love
Tossing, turning
Struggled through the night with someone new
And I could go on and on, on and on
Lantern, burning
Flickered in the night, only you
But you were still gone, gone, gone
In losing grip
On sinking ships
You showed up just in time
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead,
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me,
This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark,
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me,
Your kiss, my cheek
I watched you leave
Your smile, my ghost
I fell to my knees
When you're young, you just run
But you come back to what you need
There were many days in the year that held significance for Hermione. September 1st was always a big one, her birthday, Christmas, the Battle of Hogwarts, her parents death day, Harry’s birthday. There were so many important days of the year, some she shared the importance with hundreds of other people, others were only important to her or a handful of people. Today, November 18th, was a new day of importance for her.
It was the twins' birthday and she wasn’t sure she had ever been more excited to celebrate someone's birthday. The Malfoy Party Planning Committee had been crashed by one Narcissa Malfoy during one of their meetings while the twins were still sick and while things had certainly gotten a little out of hand, she had to admit that the room looked amazing.
Hermione had to smother down some of her smugness at the decor. When they had asked the twins what party they wanted, both boys had proudly exclaimed “Babbit!”. Apparently the Grangers were not the only family to be obsessed with the story and it was a tradition she’d happily pass on to the little boys.
They had charmed one of the empty walls of the venue to be a giant moving mural of the forest with plenty of bunnies hopping around. Little bunny figurines decorated the table along with matching bunny printed cups, plates, and napkins. Narcissa had even gone and hired a magizoologist to stop by and show the children some harmless animals. Also a touch of Narcissa’s was a bunny ice sculpture taking up court at the punch bowl, both she and Draco had shared a look at that one.
All in all though, her favorite touch had been making everyone wear bunny ears and painted on whiskers. It had involved getting everyone on the committee properly drunk (sans Narcissa) and convincing them that the only way the boys would enjoy their party was if everyone dressed up. Three unbreakable vows later and Hermione was grinning all the way to the party store. She had also convinced them to play pin the tail on the bunny (she didn’t clarify who was the bunny).
Draco, Harry, and Theo walked into the room all donning bunny ears and she had to hold back a laugh. Draco walked up to her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, careful not to mess up her whiskers.
“Hi pretty girl”
“Hello to you too, Mr.Rabbit” Hermione teased, tugging on one of his blonde waves. He would’ve made the perfect white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, it was a shame Halloween had already passed.
Draco’s lips immediately turned down into a frown, “I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this” he huffed, crossing his arms over his dark green henley. With all of Narcissa’s party planning the one thing they had to dig their heels in was convincing her a three year old’s birthday did not require formal clothing. Hermione was the most appreciative of it now as she stared at Draco in muggle jeans, god bless Theo and his muggle fashion interests.
“I absolutely can” Harry said, one of his bunny ears straight up while the other was flopping down.
“Harry, how did you get your ears to match your mess you call hair?” Hermione questioned, finally letting out a laugh.
“Oh he didn’t, they broke and he can’t figure out how to fix them” Theo chuckled, dropping a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek while he grumbled.
Hermione put a hand to her hip and sighed, “You’re a wizard Harry, use your wand”
“Oi, don’t talk about Potter and his wand” Draco called as he spread cauldron cakes on the refreshment table.
“Stop being a jealous pri-” Hermione started to call back, only to be cut off by Theo excitedly calling, “I’ll tell you all about Harry’s magic wand!”
“Oh my gods! NO!” Hermione yelled, mortified that she hadn’t heeded Draco’s warning because she knew Theo wouldn’t hold back.
Draco stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a raised brow before turning back to Theo, “Two words Theodore: kids party”
Looking properly chastised, Theo dropped his excitement over wand talk and started to help put more food out. “I still think we should’ve done it at the house, otherwise we wouldn’t have to be here at the arse crack of dawn” Theo complained, his mood from earlier in the week returning.
“Theo love, we’ve already been through this. Plus it’s ten in the morning, I think it’s closer to midday than the arse crack of dawn” Harry said, putting a supporting hand on his partner’s arm. Hermione understood his brief frustrations, but Harry was right. Neither house was better than the small venue they’d decided to rent out.
“Both of the houses’ wards are too much to let so many people through and they both are homes to high up aurors. I also think having a bunch of children in an almost all white house is something that not even magic can protect” Hermione argued. Draco’s house, while beautiful, was not a place you’d want a bunch of toddlers wreaking havoc in. Plus she liked the countryside french home being a place not many knew about. Theo’s townhouse wasn’t much better when it came to kid friendly decor, and so a small, open venue it was.
“Well then why can’t you do it by yourself then? The party isn’t for another hour, I could’ve just shown up with everyone else” Theo snapped, his tone waspish.
Draco wasted no time defending her with an “Easy there” in a warning tone that could only be used by a father.
“Don’t direct me like I’m some child” Theo sneered. Everyone finally stopped what they were doing to watch the two men.
“Theo, maybe we need to take some time outside” Harry said in a gentle yet demanding tone, similar to Draco’s.
Theo turned to his boyfriend, his features not softening like they usually did. “Stop treating me like I’m some fragile thing! I just think there could be a better use of time than sitting here staring at a fucking ice sculpture. Maybe like visiting my best friend's grave!”
Draco’s shoulders slumped forward and he pinched his nose, “we’re visiting her tonight, you know that. Please Theo, it’s still your godsons’ birthday”
“Just because you’ve moved on from her and stopped caring doesn’t mean I have” Theo spat before marching out the door, hitting the door frame with an angry slap. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as everyone processed his words.
Harry was the first to speak, “Fuck Draco, I’m sorry. I thought he was handling it better than usual”
Draco shook his head, blowing out an unsteady breath, “We both know he’s been shutting himself up in his lab like a damn hobbit. I should’ve been prepared for this” he turned back to look at Hermione and she nodded, to what she agreed to, she wasn’t sure but it seemed to be the right move. “Go on, we’ll see you guys later” Draco said, turning back to puttering with things on the table.
Harry stood still for a second before looking at Hermione, to which she nodded again. Her best friend then quietly walked out of the room in search of his grieving boyfriend. Hermione waited another beat before saddling up beside Draco. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, no” he stopped his arranging and looked at her, “I-” but he cut himself off with a burst of laughter that seemed to shock the both of them before he started up again. “I-” but he couldn’t finish because he started giggling like a deranged person.
“Uhh Draco?” she asked, tempted to cast a finite in case he’d been hit with a confundus.
“I-just-realized-we-fought-with-bunny-ears-on” He said, clutching his ribs through his laughter. It was then that she looked up and sure enough, white bunny ears still adorned Draco’s locks. Hermione felt her own laughter bubbling up as she felt her own ears again. They looked fucking ridiculous.
“I do hope this isn’t how you plan on greeting your guests” an aristocratic voice called from the entryway. Hermione immediately straightened up at the unfamiliar voice.
“Blaise, Pansy!” Draco pulled his bunny ears off and so did she as the two former Slytherins seemed to sashay into the room. Her boy-well whatever he was- pulled Pansy Parkinson into what could only be described as a bear hug, one that would make Narcissa’s pureblood etiquette weep. Blaise wasn’t much better as both men patted each other on the back.
Hermione had known they were coming. However, she felt like a dolt not expecting them to come early. “Drake, long time no see. Where are my nephews?” Blaise looked around, as if expecting Scorp and Sterling to pop up from under the table. His eye’s didn’t find any blondes, but they did find a brunette.
“They’ll be here soon with my mum, we were doing some finishing touches” Draco explained, as if they hadn’t just had a small blowout with Theo.
Blaise nodded but side stepped his two friends and waltzed over to Hermione, bending at the waist dramatically. “Hermione Granger as I live and breathe”
“Zabini” Hermione said, pursing her lips. While she’d had trouble placing Theo when she arrived in Paris, it was hard not to remember the handsome, dark-skinned Italian wizard. Especially when he had been Draco’s best mate when Crabbe and Goyle weren’t around, meaning she’d traded barbs with Zabini a few times.
“And just what are you doing here on our favorite twins special day?” Zabini questioned, looking between Hermione and Draco. Draco once again reading how uncomfortable she must’ve been, stepped forward.
“Pansy, Blaise, Hermione and I are dating” he put his hand on her waist, a movement that would stop any argument that what he’d just claimed was a lie.
“Ohh your father must be having a damn heart attack!” Pansy called, malicious glee on her face. “I love it!” her garnet colored lips pulled up. The three other occupants turned to her, various looks of surprise on their faces at her outburst. The pureblood heiress straightened, looking bolstered by their reactions.
“Hello Granger, I’d ask how Draco managed to get you to date him but really you’re both right hot so it makes sense” she shrugged.
Draco’s brow wrinkled, “That’s your deduction as to how we started dating?”
Pansy patted his cheek condescendingly, “Yes dear, really it’s the laws of nature”
Hermione started saying “I’m not sure-” but Pansy held a hand up a slender, red manicured hand. “Granger, we’re starting this off with me liking you because you’re putting up with Draco’s arse, let’s not ruin that now”
“Daddy! Mini!” two voices rang out and Hermione was grateful that the conversation was interrupted by her mini saviors once again.
“Who are you?” Hermione questioned as Sterling and Scorpius both bounded up to her and their father. “I Scowpius and that Sting” Hermione tried to hold back her little awe she felt every time she heard the boys say their names. She tapped her finger against her lip as if she was thinking.
“Well I know two very cute boys by those names, but I don’t think I know any bunnies” Hermione turned to Draco who was hiding a smile behind his hand. “Draco, do we know two adorable bunnies?”
Draco raised his brows and took both his sons in, “Mmm Hermione, I don’t believe we do” he said skeptically, playing along with her. “Daddy! Is me!” Scorpius stomped his foot while Sterling came to stand before Hermione’s feet. “Mini, I not babbit!” At their righteous looks of anger, both adults seemed to cave.
Hermione bent down and poked Sterling in his pudgy toddler tummy, “Draco, I think they might be telling the truth! Is that you, my handsome boy?” she gave Sterling a little tickle and laughed, nodding his head.
“Well now I have two rabbits instead of two little boys. Whatever will we do now?” Draco said as he hiked Scorpius up on his hip. Hermione caught Draco’s eye looking at where the rest of the bunny ears were piled up. Walking over, Hermione grabbed a handful and then made her way back over to her-fuck it she was saying boyfriend for her own sake of mind- boyfriend.
Slipping another pair of white ears onto his head, she said, “I suppose we’ll all have to be bunnies now, so we match” Hermione bent down and let Sterling put a pair of crooked ears on her before standing back up and looking at the other three adults in the room.
“Nope, not happening Granger and mini Malfoy’s” Pansy said, crossing her arms hotly. “I just got my hair blown out”
“Who you?” Sterling said from behind Hermione’s legs, his eyes wide. Being around snakes, and dating one for that matter, had made Hermione a tad more manipulative when it came to getting what she wanted and she was not above being manipulative to get Pansy Parkinson in a pair of bunny ears.
Picking up Sterling and settling him on her hip like she usually did, she looked down at him as he continued to look at Pansy. She and Blaise had asked where their nephews were when they first got here so she went along with the title. “That’s Auntie Pansy, love. Would you like to give her a pair of ears?”
Hermione handed Sterling a black pair of ears and marched the two of them up to the witch. “Auntie P” Sterling loosely handed Parkinson the ears, waiting for her to deny the small child. “Well go on, Parks” Blaise chuckled beside her.
“Well played you bloody lion” Pansy narrowed her eyes but she slipped the ears on anyways, then turned to smile at both birthday boys.
“I’m not a lion, Parkinson, I’m a bunny” Hermione intoned, giving an impish smile.
Narcissa gave a tinkling laugh, “I’m starting to think you’re a snake”
“That she is” Draco said, plucking another pair of ears from her hands and handing them over to Scorpius. “Go on mate, give Uncle B some ears so we can all match” Shyly, Scorp slid the ears onto his uncle's head, Blaise being a much better sport than his partner.
“Well, well, if it isn’t my no good house mates” Theo strutted into the room, kissing Hermione on the cheek and whispering a quick apology before pulling Pansy and Blaise into similar hugs Draco had. Harry came to stand beside her and Sterling started squirming, wanting to go to his godfather.
“Is he okay?” Hermione leaned in and whispered as they watched the four friends lightly jest with each other.
“No, but he will be”
xXx
For a three year olds birthday party, Hermione had to admit she wasn’t expecting many guests. Apparently Narcissa had gone out of her way to send out more invitations, including some of her society friends (she swore they would keep quiet about her and Draco’s relationship but let’s be real). Personally Hermione had thought the twins' own daycare class of two through four year olds was enough, but she supposed nothing was enough for Narcissa Black.
Hermione was watching at least fifteen kids running around in a circle, what they were playing she had no clue, but it gave the adults a break so they kept to the outer edges of the room and let it play out. Andromeda glided up next to Hermione, a cup of punch in her hands. “Nice alliteration, dear” Andromeda pointed up at the big banner that said “Thumping Three’s”
“And just how do you know that was me?” Hermione smirked, truly it could’ve been any five of the Malfoy Party Planning Committee.
Andromeda leaned in and whispered like they were conspiring, “I overheard Theo complaining that he didn’t come up with it first” Hermione laughed, glad Theo was slightly returning to his former self.
“Of course he’s being a baby at another baby's birthday party” Hermione joked, looking at the children and finding the blue hair of Teddy Lupin. “He’s grown up so much” She said, almost solemnly.
Andromeda stared at her grandson and great nephews, “You all have” she returned the sentiment. “I have to say, finding out you and Draco were courting was not on my bingo card this year”
“Courting? Just how old are you getting ‘Meda?” Hermione snorted, taking another sip of her punch. That ice sculpture was ridiculous, but she’d give props to Narcissa for charming it to keep the punch constantly cold.
“Ok Dora Jr. calm it down” Andy laughed before getting serious again, “I read that article in the Prophet, I have to say I’m quite ashamed of Ronald”
“Yes well, I can’t say I was surprised” Hermione said, still not happy with her ex partner. “You should have seen Draco and Harry. Draco referred to him as an ogre’s ginger arse hair” she laughed and Andromeda joined her, truly she didn’t give Draco enough credit for his creative insults.
“That glib tongue of his is going to land him in some trouble one day” Andromeda sighed, though there wasn’t any heat to her statement.
“Why Andy, my tongue has already landed me in plenty of trouble” Draco called, causing Hermione to gasp.
“God damn it, Draco! I told you and Harry to stop sneaking up on me like that. Keep it up and I’m getting you a collar with a bell on it for Christmas” Hermione threatened, but Draco just gave her his best little evil smirk.
“So what you’re saying is you’re getting me jewelry this year”
Hermione glared at her currently no longer boyfriend, “Keep it up and there won’t be a next year!”
“You know I think it’s time for cake and presents, you two” Andy said, looking like she was itching to smack both of them upside the head. Hermione perked up at the suggestion. She and Draco had been working together for the past week on a joint gift.
“Okay!” Hermione said cheerfully, Draco jerking his chin, silently telling her she could take the lead. “Alright kiddos, cake time!” Hermione yelled, catching every child's attention at the word cake.
Draco gathered both Scorpius and Sterling, placing them at the end of the table, Teddy happily taking his place beside his cousin. Hermione waved her wand and the two three candles lit up. As the crowd sang the traditional birthday song (despite pureblood beliefs, one couldn’t get away from the birthday song), Hermione wondered what all their lives would be like if Astoria was here celebrating her son's birthday instead of Hermione.
Harry had told her about the train station he had seen when Voldemort had killed him. How Dumbledore claimed he could leave on the train or come back. Had Astoria gotten on that train, was she with Harry’s parents, both of them looking down on their children? Was she upset at Hermione taking her place, or was she simply waiting to meet her boys after they lived a long life?
She felt a small nudge to her arm, snapping her out of her morose thoughts. “They’re about to start passing out the presents. Do you want to go grab ours?” Taking the chance at a second of alone time, Hermione nodded and headed to the apparition exit. Popping quickly into Theo’s house, she grabbed two boxes, one wrapped in a dark green and the other in a dark blue.
Crooks looked up from his spot on her bed and began his attack of purrs, rubbing against her legs like there was no tomorrow. Inhaling a deep breath, Hermione steadied herself. Today was a celebration, not a day of questioning her spot in the Malfoys’ lives. With a quick scratch on Crookshanks head, Hermione apparated back to the party.
Luckily, Narcissa had saved her dozens of presents for later in the night when she’d be watching them so presents were going fairly quickly. They waited until the last scraps of tissue paper were cleared before Hermione and Draco each sat a box in front of the boys. “These are from your father and I” Hermione said gently as she watched the twins unwrap possibly the most sentimental gift she’d ever given.
Shrieks of joy brought slight tears to her eyes as she heard the word “BABBIT!!!” yelled over and over again. “That’s not the best part” Draco said, wrapping an arm around Hermione’s waist. “Why don’t you give your rabbit a kiss on the nose”
Just like in the book, as the boys gave their little stuffies a kiss on its velveteen nose, the animal began to shape shift. Though they were not real (neither of them wanted the responsibility of pet rabbits), they certainly shape shifted into real looking rabbits. As the stuffies pranced around the room, there were a litany of responses. The children were beyond excited at the prospect of chasing the toys, the adults were amazed at the charm work.
It took several more minutes to get everyone to calm down, but once they did, Hermione presented the twins with one more present. “This was you can always have your own copy, you even have a note from all of us” in each book she, Draco, Harry, Theo, and Narcissa had written small notes. Hermione also made a note to ask Blaise and Pansy if they’d like to sign it later.
Hermione cracked the book open to see the notes once more. Her eyes looking at her own chicken scratch handwriting next to Draco’s perfect scrawl. The words blurred, but she knew them fairly well by now. They read:
Dear Scorpius and Sterling,
My parents and I always treasured my copy of this story. It had brought me a great many memories growing up, and now as an adult I get to make more with the two of you. Always know you’ll be loved as much as your rabbits and that the magic of love is powerful. It’s been an honor to see you grow in the short amount of time I’ve known you and I can only hope to see all the great you’ll do in the world.
With all my love, your Mini
Draco’s was a bit shorter, but no less sentimental and it made her laugh after she had cried while writing hers.
Dear sons,
I love you more than I could any rabbit, but that didn’t stop Hermione from convincing me you two needed faux pets(you’ll learn what that word means later don’t worry). Know I love you more fiercely than the stars burn in the sky. She might not be here to celebrate with us, but your mother loved you both just the same. Happy birthday my boys.
With all my devotion, your father.
xXx
“To another year!” Theo toasted, his firewhiskey sloshing over the rim of his glass and onto the ground.
“Alright, Nott is cut off” Draco said, grabbing the bottle from Theo’s loose grip.
“You can’t cut off a grieving man” Theo pouted before turning to the headstone, “Well back me up on this Tori!” he shook his head in fake disappointment, “Always a quiet one in public”
“Alright, it’s time to get you home” Harry said, downing the rest of his glass. He stood and patted the headstone, “miss you lots my friend. The boys are doing great” Hermione discreetly wiped her tears in the dark of the night. Firewhiskey always made her extra emotional.
Theo must’ve recognized his limit too because he put up no fight when Harry directed him to stand. “I wish you were here, you would’ve loved Hermione as much as the boys do. Do me a favor and make sure you’re giving Snape hell for me, I could really use his help on a certain potion right now so he deserves an earful” Well shit, she thought as she sniffled.
Hermione watched as her two friends apparated back to the warmth of their home. “Are you about ready to go, my girl” Draco asked, waving his wand to pack their small picnic basket and discarded glasses.
“I just-” Hermione chewed her lip, “Can I talk to her alone?” While usually Draco made up a part of the Three Nosy-est Men Alive trio, he didn’t ask her why she wanted the privacy. He just simply nodded and stepped away, his back turned away from her.
Hermione gingerly sat on the cold grass in front of the headstone of Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy. “I know you don’t probably know me, or at least not well. We seem to share quite the friend group” Hermione chuckled but it was extremely watery. “I might not be your favorite visiter tonight, but I just wanted to say thank you. I know they all wished you were here with them, and I wish you were too, but I can’t help but say thank you for being there for my friends when I couldn’t”
Hermione took a shuddering breath and ran her fingers through the dying grass. “I know it’s soon, too soon probably, but I think I might’ve found the love of my life a few years ago. You see, it was based off of infinitely small actions, but they spoke when he couldn’t” Hermione couldn’t push the thought away that she probably looked mental but she continued to solider on.
“He left and I let him stay gone. I tried to move on, struggling through the night with someone new but it was never the same. You know the saying ‘if you love something, let it go’, do you think that still applies if you didn’t know you loved it at the time? Merlin, I’m bungling this up”
“What I’m trying to say is that sometimes I feel like I’m stealing your place and I want you to know that I vowed I never would. I wanted you to know that if Draco and I ever work out like I hope to Godric we do, I won’t let the twins forget you” Hermione put a hand to the harsh, unforgiving stone. “If they ever think I’m worthy of the title of mother, I want you to know that I’ll think of you being right beside me”
“Anyways, it’s getting late and I don’t want you thinking I’m mad just yet. If you see my parents tell them I love them and I met two little boys who love the rabbit story just as much as me” Hermione gathered herself up off the ground, her legs now stiff, and made her way back to Draco.
“Good conversation?” Draco asked, his face finally looking like the day had worn on him. “Yes, I think we did” Hermione answered, taking his outstretched hand. “Did you want to say anything else?” she asked, looking back at the headstone one final time.
“No, I saw her this morning. I keep her updated regularly”
“Okay, let’s go home” She said, letting the small glow of their ever-burning love guide them home like a lantern in the dark.