Forgiven
It took two weeks for Remus to even look at Sirius after the prank.
He was so filled with rage and disgust he couldn't bare to look at him.
Sirius was mostly alone. He knew Remus didn't like him in the dorm room, so he slept in the common room on an armchair in the corner.
He had tried so hard to get Remus to forgive him, slipping him notes asking if they could talk. But Remus threw them out without reading them.
After a few days of the silence Sirius started to believe that maybe he didn't deserve anything.
His mother was right when she said he couldn't be loved. Not after James and Peter ignored him as well.
Sirius started eating less and less, sleeping less and less. He ate meals after the three were done, and stayed in the library when the others were in the common room.
He hated himself more than Remus hated him.
——
Remus
I'll be in our spot north of hogwarts after dinner, please be there.
You don't have to say a word, or you can scream and hurt me all you want. Just please be there.
Sirius
Sirius left the note on Remus' bed face up, so he'd have to read a bit. He also left Remus' favorite chocolates hoping to change his mind.
Dinner rolled around and Sirius didn't eat, he just waited in their spot for Remus to come.
"Wait Remus where are you going?" James asks, when Remus was heading up to the dorms and not to where Sirius was.
"I'm not going to him Prongs, he doesn't deserve shit."
James looks disappointed. Though Sirius did something extremely wrong, he should still be treated like a human.
James pulls Remus' wrist and gives him a look of pity. "He's not eating, if you'd dare to cast a look you'd see how fucking skinny he was."
"I talked to him in class, he looks like he does after the holidays at home." He adds.
Remus blocks it all out and walks up to their dorm. But he doesn't ignore it completely.
He grabs the map to see if Sirius was waiting at their spot and sure enough he was. But surely he wouldn't wait all evening.
Remus had the map in the corner of his eye the rest of the evening. Sirius never moved.
He checked the last time before he went to bed at 11pm, and he was still waiting.
Remus sat up in bed and looked at the others boys sleeping. Then he crept out to find Sirius.
——
He finds Sirius sleeping in the corner, lay on cold stone.
He was skinny, way more than he should be after two weeks. Remus almost feels sad, except he doesn't yet.
He sits down next to him, but doesn't wake him up yet. Remus leans towards him and gently brushes his hair out of his face like he used to.
Sirius' eyes flutter open, and when he sees someone sat there he sits up frightened and pushes himself into the wall.
"Remus, you came."
Remus nods slowly, seeing how tired Sirius was.
"How long have you been waiting?" Remus asks, knowing it was awhile.
Sirius looks at the clock in the hallway, "6 hours."
He nods and they sit in silence together. Thinking about how their lives have changed since the prank.
"I'm so sorry Remus." Sirius whispers tears filling his eyes. "And I know nothing can change it, and that you'll never forgive me. But can you try and forgive me, because I don't think I'll forgive myself."
Sirius takes a shaky breath, and Remus looks away to hide his own tears forming.
"I'm so sorry Remus, and I can ask to change dorm rooms if that will help, Merlin I'll even change schools if that can help fix what I've done."
Remus shakes his head, knees curled up under his head. Tears falling down.
"It's okay Sirius, I forgive you."
Sirius looks shocked when Remus says that, but not in a good way. "Remus you can't forgive me yet, I could have killed you both, I ruined this part if your life."
Remus stays quiet but looks sadly at Sirius. "I forgive you Sirius, it wasn't done with evilness in mind, you didn't mean for it to turn out the way it did."
"But just because I forgive you doesn't mean I don't need more time to heal, and trust you again."
Sirius just nods, letting the tears fall, "Thank you." He mumbles wiping his tears.
Remus doesn't say anything but leans over and takes Sirius into his arms for a hug. He could tell he desperately needed it.
"I'm so sorry." Sirius whispers again breaking down in the hug.
Remus hugs him tighter and rubs his back. "I know, I know you are, and I forgive you."
Sirius pulls away and looks to see if there's anyone in the hallway. Prefects might be checking the halls.
"Can I go to the dormroom?"
Remus nods and they start walking together, but with more space than they used to. "You were always allowed to stay in the dorm room Sirius."
Sirius just nods and they walk up in silence.
——
That morning Remus woke up to see James and Peter, but no Sirius.
"Heard you left the room last night." Peter says pulling his pants up to get dressed.
Remus nods looking over to Sirius' bed. "Talked to Sirus." James turns around in shock.
"You did? Did you guys make up?"
Remus nods and starts getting dressed. Maybe Sirius wanted to avoid the others, not knowing where they stood on the situation.
"I forgive him, but I still need time." The others nod, understanding. "He came back to the dorms, not sure where he is now."
James shrugs putting on his glasses and fluffs up his hair. "Let's go find him."
The three look in the dining hall first, where they see a black headed boy eating alone.
"Can I speak with him first for a moment?" Remus asks looking at them, they nod and wait by the entrance.
Remus walks over and sits opposite him. "You don't have to starve yourself you know."
Sirius looks up, and looks down at his place with a strip of bacon and an uneaten piece of toast.
"Not hungry."
Remus nods, he won't force him. "Others aren't mad, you don't need to hide, oh here they come now."
James and Peter sit next to them, James immediately gets himself lots of food, simultaneously placing more warm food on Sirius' place.
"Is it hogsmeade weekend?" Peter asks as he grabs himself beans and eggs.
James nods, "Sure is Wormy, you joining Sirius?"
Sirius felt a warmth in his heart, it almost felt like their group was back to normal. He doubted him and Remus could ever go back to what they were though.
"Don't think my parents signed it this year." Sirius says slightly embarrassed.
Peter shrugs, "We'll sneak you in don't worry."
And that's how it started going back to normal with the marauders. Though the group forgave him, Sirius would always hold himself accountable for what he did.
4 months after the prank was when Remus and Sirius kissed for the first time again, and only then did Sirius felt like he was truly forgiven.