Whatever Lies Ahead

“This day marks the end of our 7th year!” Dazai announces to the Hells hounds, who all cheered with much less enthusiasm than at the start of the year. The air was glum, it had barely been 2 weeks since Dazai had defeated Voldemort, under Mori's orders of course. Dazai, being the genius he is, helped aid the battle (R.I.P Fred ;( and Snape) against the Death Eaters, much to the teachers disapproval. (Of course Mori wanted him to suddenly claim the glory over the death of Voldemort, who along with the death eaters, was an “annoyance to the Port Mafia”)

As usual, Dazai's involvement in any Hogwarts situation was very obvious. After all, he outsmarted Voldemort faster than Dumbledore had in years, killed Voldemort like 6 times, and turned his followers against him. He was called many things. A hero, a demon, a genius, and an idiot (courtesy of Draco, Pansy, and Ron, who had gotten along a lot easier when it was to bully Dazai). The one thing he was never called was human, which didn't bother him since he already knew he wasn't human. If there was anything he understood, it was that. However, dwelling on that didn't matter when he and Blaise, his subordinate, his second in command, his… best friend, were in the office by themselves after the rest of the gang left.

One of the few things to stay with Dazai was Blaise.

Blaise was a constant presence.

A presence that Dazai could find comfort and even trust in. And of course, Blaise had grown up with Dazai, becoming much more handsome.

Dazai wasn't one to care much about appearance other than his own, well…until Blaise got older.

Blaise was taller than him by at least 3 inches, with high cheekbones, beautifully dark skin, brown slanting eyes, and prominent muscles ever since he joined Quidditch. All this to say, Blaise was a fine specimen.

Dazai, on the other hand, was worse for wear (in his opinion), which needless to say was completely incorrect in Blaise's eyes.

Blaise had never really told Dazai, but Dazai had to be the prettiest human in existence. He had gotten taller and gained some muscle ever since he went on more missions during summer time. His wavy hair was cut shorter, framing his face perfectly. His brown eyes that previously held no emotion, stared at him with emotions that he could probably never understand. Dazai's face was always very pretty, even when he looked sickly.

Heck, he looked gorgeous whether he was healthier or not, much to Blaise's dismay. So that made him push harder, gradually making Dazai eat more, and eventually Dazai wasn't so unhealthily skinny.

Dazai wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Blaise's pestering had grown to be something he loved about Blaise.

Love. That word came to mind very often with Blaise more recently.

He loved when Blaise fed him apple slices.

He loved when Blaise smiled or even when he just raised an eyebrow.

He loved when Blaise spoke.

Most of all, he loved how Blaise made him feel. Not just silly little heartbeats speeding up, but more.

Blaise made him feel when nothing else could.

He made him feel more than he felt imagining suicide.

And for even just a second of Blaise making him feel, Dazai could be human.

He could feel. Like a human.

He could love like a human.

Mori would call him soft, punish him, remind him that he could never be loved, remind him that he could never be human.

“Dazai.” Blaise called. Apparently they had sat in silence for too long or Blaise had noticed his darkening expression because he always noticed those things. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh nothing! Just about how handsome Blaise is.” Dazai giggled, screaming inside at the fact he admitted that out loud.

Blaise was unconvinced, even though his heart fluttered at the comment. “What were you actually thinking about? Don't tell me we're back to the you not telling me anything phase.”

Dazai gasped in faux offense. “Blaise is so mean! He doesn't believe me, his boss!” He probably would've been more offended if he didn't actually withhold some truth. Blaise just looked at him. “Ugh! Fine! I was just thinking about how Mori would punish me if he found out how soft I was getting.”

Blaise hummed. He knew enough about Mori's punishments to know he didn't want Dazai to have to go through that again. Unfortunately, Mori found any reason he could to punish and “retrain” (in Dazai's words) Dazai.

“I was telling the truth though!” Dazai's words broke him out of his thoughts. “Blaise is very handsome!”

Now this. This surprised Blaise. Unlike Blaise, Dazai was never outward with his thoughts and how he felt. And he most certainly didn't just randomly compliment someone without ulterior motives. So why did he say that with such honesty that even he, Blaise Zabini, the resident apathetic Hogwarts student, was flustered?

Dazai was just as flustered. He didn't know why he kept going when he could've left it at that. Now he was regretting every decision he made in the past, present, and future. He needed to do something, busy his hands, anything but sit there in silence. It wasn't like Blaise to stay silent for so long when he said something like that. Was he mad? Disgusted? Feeling pity?

Apparently he was none of those because Blaise just chuckled when he saw Dazai's flushed face. “Thank you. I know I never told you this, but you're really pretty.”

“P-pretty!?” Dazai squeaked and went to cover his face before Blaise stopped his hands.

“Especially when you're blushing.” He smiled. “I love when you blush.” It makes you look more beautiful. “I… love when you do anything.” I love you. Blaise was just letting everything out now. He was a bit shocked at himself for saying it so suddenly, but he couldn't not. Not when he didn't have much longer until he'd never see Dazai again.

Dazai stared at Blaise in horror. He'd come to terms with the fact that Blaise somehow cared about him and enjoyed his presence, but love?! He didn't understand. “I- Why!?”

“Why what?” Blaise was confused. He figured Dazai would push him away, laugh it all off, pretend he didn't confess his love to him, reject him, anything but question him.

“Why do you love me? I'm not human, I've killed people, you killed people because of me, I don't do any good for anyone, I-”

“Dazai. I've said this so many times. Is your perfect memory not working? I. Don't. Care. About. What. You. Do.” Blaise insisted. “You made me care when nothing else could. No matter what you do, what side you are on, you will always be a good human to me. And that is why I love you.”

Dazai was speechless.

“There's so much more. You're ethereal, you're genius, you've always got plan to get out of trouble, you're considerate whether you believe it or not, you're funny, you bring a smile-”

“Show me.” Dazai interrupted. He didn't believe him. How could Blaise, this perfect human, love him? Blaise only nodded, he wasn't sure how to show him other than through affection.

“Is this okay?” He asked, bringing Dazai's hand to his lips.

“Yes.” Dazai whispered.

“What about here?” He questioned, hovering over Dazai's forehead.

Dazai nodded and Blaise kissed his forehead before pulling back.

“And here?” He brought his hand to Dazai's cheek.

Dazai leaned into the touch. Blaise's hands are warm. “Yes.” He let out, breathlessly. And so Blaise did.

“Can I kiss you?” Blaise asked, his thumb lightly caressing Dazai's soft lips(Hermione gave him lip balm since he kept picking the cracked skin at his lips and making it bleed).

“Blaise already did.” Dazai said. Trying to regain his composure, or to aggravate Blaise enough to give up on him. He didn't deserve his affection. But Blaise just chuckled and lifted his chin. Dazai expected Blaise to kiss him, or to slap him. He wasn't picky, he was used to being slapped, but Blaise wasn't Mori. Surprisingly to Dazai, Blaise just stared at him. One hand holding his while the other was still on his cheek.

Dazai wasn't one to beg, but he would beg Blaise to kiss him if he told him to. And it seemed like he was going to need to if he ever planned getting kissed, since all Blaise seemed to be doing was waiting.

“Aren't you going to kiss me?” Blaise just smiled at his question.

“Do you want me to?” He replied. Dazai froze, he was aware Blaise had asked for consent 4 times before this, but this time finally registered. He wasn't used to consent, it was always take what you want whenever you want, especially with Mori. It made him think about how he definitely didn't want to be touched by the people in Yokohama. If he'd been asked beforehand, would he want them to touch him? No. Would he let them? Probably.

Blaise was different. He always was. Did he want Blaise to kiss him? Yes. Would he let him? 100%.

“Definitely.” He grinned. Blaise's smile softened before he finally let their lips connect.