Chapter 1
He breathes and lives the smell of old books. Maybe that's why he stays at the old school library so often, or maybe it was to avoid as much interaction as possible with other people. Maybe it was also a mix of both
The library's heavy wooden shelves, filled with ancient tomes, always seemed to hum with a comforting, quiet presence. Today, the light filtering through the tall, stained-glass windows bathed everything in a warm, golden hue, casting intricate patterns on the old oak tables and dusty floor.
Regulus annotates something in his book, the scratch of his pen creating a scratching sound that mingled with the distant rustle of pages being turned. He looks up, absorbing the serene environment—the crisp, fresh air from the open window, the distant chatter of students outside, and the deep tranquility of the library.
This was the perfect way to spend his first lunch back at school. He pinches himself to make sure this isn’t one of his elaborate dreams, once he feels a twinge of pain he lets out a sigh of relief.
Then he gets a face full of a sandwich wrapped in a plastic bag.
In this world, there are only four people who could do that without dying the next second. One was at an all-girls school halfway across the country, and two were banned from entering the library for reasons Regulus doesn’t want to think about, so go figure.
"I got you your sandwich," a familiar voice said as he sat down across from Regulus. The voice was warm and slightly teasing, contrasting sharply with the coldness of Regulus's usual library solitude.
Regulus picked up the sandwich, now resting on top of the book he was reading before the very rude interruption. He looked at it, the plastic crinkling softly in his hand. The sandwich was wrapped in a slightly greasy paper, a stark contrast to the pristine environment of the library.
"You could have handed it to me" Regulus murmurs trying to keep his voice down because of their surroundings
"And miss the look on your face? No thank you" the person said matching the volume of Regulus's voice
Regulus murmured something under his breath.
"What? Couldn't hear you."
"Kill yourself, Lupin."
Remus chuckled, a low, almost musical sound that broke through the library’s oppressive silence. "Will do," he said, feigning a dramatic bow. "I had to fight for my life to get that sandwich, just so you know."
"Gee, thanks." Regulus rolled his eyes the sarcasm thick in his voice "hero of the hour"
Remus scoffed at the comment. He leaned back in his chair, making the old wooden legs scrape against the floor. "You're such a brat."
Regulus raised an eyebrow and glanced at the sandwich with mock disdain. "How hard was it to get a sandwich and a bag of chips?"
"You do it, then, if it's so easy."
Regulus shot a glare at Remus, his eyes narrowing with irritation. "Right, of course, the great Regulus Black can't handle being in a room with more than thirty people. Apologies," Remus teased, making an exaggerated voice as he popped a chip into his mouth.
Regulus rolled his eyes and flipped him off before returning to his book. The intricate illustrations in the margins seemed to mock him as he tried to focus.
"How was your break?" Remus finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had settled between them.
"Abysmal," Regulus replied curtly, his tone devoid of its usual biting sarcasm.
Remus offered a sympathetic smile. "You and me both."
Regulus looked up from his book and made a feigned shocked expression. "Really? I would have never figured that Lyall Lupin didn’t spend his precious time with his son," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Remus laughed, but his smile faltered as he continued, his eyes taking on a more serious tone. "I heard that you and Sirius are getting closer again. Reg, look, I'm sorry—"
Regulus's entire demeanor stiffened. He clenched his jaw, and his breathing became shallow at the mention of his brother.
Damn it, Regulus thought, his anger rising.
Regulus couldn't with the topic, and it was painfully obvious. His fingers tightened around the edges of his book, knuckles turning white. He didn't want to talk about this right now, especially not with Remus.
Remus noticed the shift instantly. He leaned forward, his gaze softening with concern. "Reg, it was a one-time thing. It was a drunken mistake," he pleaded, his voice earnest and tinged with regret.
Regulus's mind flashed back to that night—seeing Remus, someone he had considered a friend, tangled with Sirius, his estranged brother until recently. The image was seared into his memory, and the hurt it caused was still fresh. "I saw you both," Regulus said in a monotone voice like he had no care for it but he did he really did. "You were-"
"Drunk, yes," Remus interrupted quickly, a pained expression crossing his face. "It meant nothing. We were both out of our minds. I thought you knew that."
Regulus hated how much he wanted to believe that. It was easier to be angry than to face the complicated feelings of betrayal. "So, you’re telling me it was just a mistake. That’s supposed to make everything better?" Regulus’s voice was sharp, his emotions barely contained.
Remus’s shoulders sagged, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I didn’t want to hurt you, Reg. I really didn’t."
Regulus sighed deeply, a heavy breath that seemed to carry the weight of his frustration.
He collected his things and slipped them into his bag, including the sandwich Remus had given him. The quiet click of the bag being zipped seemed to echo in the silent library.
He turned to leave, and Remus’s face reflected a mixture of sadness and resignation. "Reg, wait," he called out, Regulus already halfway to the door.
Regulus paused at the threshold, then turned slightly. "why are you just sitting there? Follow me."
Remus’s eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope. He quickly gathered his art supplies, his movements hurried but precise. "Sure thing," he said, his voice brightening as he followed Regulus out.
Madam Pince stared daggers at them as they left.
He knew that being associated with Barty and Evan was going to bite him in the ass one day, it wasn't his fault the two blumming idiots tried to shag in the library, wasn't it?
The two walked side by side through the halls, moving past groups of students who parted like waves for them. The air was thick with whispers and sidelong glances, a testament to the uneasy aura that surrounded them.
Remus, with his unruly hair and slightly disheveled appearance, contrasted sharply with Regulus’s more refined and scary demeanor.
Both chose to ignore the judgy glances at Regulus and the girls and a few of the boys making heart eyes at Remus
They soon reached the outer areas of the school, just beyond the grassy fields of Hogwarts, where a small hill and a tree provided a perfect vantage point. From there, they could see everything happening below—the students playing, laughing, and the distant outline of the castle.
One of Remus and Regulus's favorite activities was people-watching. Regulus enjoyed observing and writing intricate stories about the people they saw in a notebook that would never see the light of day.
Remus, on the other hand, sketched scenes and figures in a dark green sketchpad, capturing the fleeting moments with deft strokes.
They settled on the hill, the grass beneath them slightly damp from the morning dew. Remus pulled out his tin of colored pencils, his hands working methodically as he selected the perfect shades. Regulus clutched his notebook, the pages filled with tightly packed scribbles and sketches.
The two worked in comfortable silence for a while. The only sounds were the occasional chirping of birds and the distant hum of students. Regulus then made an annoyed noise before closing his notebook with a soft thud.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked, looking up from his sketchpad, concern etched on his face.
Regulus sighed deeply, the frustration evident in his voice. "I don’t know how to end this."
Remus tilted his head teasingly, considering the words. "Maybe let them have a happy ending this time?"
Regulus scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "I don’t do happy endings, Lupin," he said, making exaggerated air quotes with his fingers.
Remus rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling. "Yes, another thing I forgot about my friend was that he is emotionally unable to let fictional characters have a happy ending because he is bad at emotions."
"We're not friends."
"What are we, then?"
"People who just happen to hang around each other a lot."
Remus laughed softly, the sound mingling with the rustling leaves. "Sure, if you want to keep it that way."
Regulus’s eyes flickered with annoyance with his supposed 'friend'.
Remus just shook his head and returned to his sketchpad. Regulus could barely see the drawing from his angle, the paper obstructed by Remus’s focused posture.
"Let me see," Regulus said, curiosity in his voice.
Remus held the page up for him, revealing a lively scene of students passing a ball around. The image was dynamic and full of movement, contrasting with Regulus’s static, tightly controlled writing.
Regulus took a pen that was lying on top of his notebook, uncapping it with his teeth. He made a few quick, precise strokes on the page, adding in the silhouette of something in the background. The addition was rough but evocative, a stark contrast to the meticulous details of Remus’s drawing.
Once finished, Regulus put the pen back with a satisfied nod.
Remus studied the castle Regulus had hastily drawn, his eyes widening. "Is there anything you aren’t good at, Regulus Black"
"Emotions, apparently,"
Remus laughed softly. "Mm, yeah, you’re really bad at that."
The soft steps from the distance made Regulus turn his attention to the figure that was walking towards them
Regulus then tapped Remus on the shoulder, signaling to a person walking towards them. "Incoming."
The person who had gone out of their way to find them was practically dragging their feet across the grass, clearly out of breath.
"Why do you two always pick the furthest place away from civilization?" Barty huffed, finally catching up.
"Where’s the other one?" Regulus asked, his gaze sweeping around.
"Did you just refer to me as the other one?" Evan said, sounding mock-offended as he emerged from behind Barty.
Remus stared at the three for a moment before he got up, collecting his tin and the rest of his art supplies with practiced efficiency. "I’ll leave you three to it."
"Bye, Remus!" Barty called cheerfully.
"See you," Evan added.
Remus wasn’t expecting a goodbye from Regulus, so he gave a small, hopeful wave before walking off.
Regulus sighed, feeling the weight of the day’s conversations pressing down on him. "Now, is there a reason why you two went to find me?"
"Can’t we just spend time with our friend?" Barty asked, feigning innocence with a grin.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "I suppose."
Evan picked up Regulus's notebook from the ground, flipping through the pages with a careful touch if it wasn't Evan doing that right now the person's fingers would have been incomplete.
Evan found the end of the notebook with a satisfied sound. "Still no ending?" he asked, sounding both amused and concerned.
"I can’t figure out what I want to do with it," Regulus said quietly, the frustration clear in his voice.
"Hm, who knew Regulus doesn’t know how to end a story without it ending in tragedy," Barty teased.
Regulus's jaw tightened. "It’s not that I want tragedy. I just… I can’t figure out how to make it work."
Evan and Barty exchanged glances, their expressions softening with empathy.
"Is there something wrong with me?" Regulus asked outright
The two looked at each other, their faces reflecting the complexity of their thoughts.
"Why can’t I just let them be happy?" Regulus said, now in a much angrier voice. His eyes were intense, a mixture of confusion and frustration burning in them.
"To let your characters be happy, you need to be happy first, Reg," Evan remarked, his voice gentle but firm. He emphasized the you, making it clear he was talking about Regulus’s happiness.
Those words struck a painful chord because he knew it would never happen
---
Remus walked back to campus, his mind swirling with thoughts and regrets. He entered the canteen, scanning the room until he found the table he was looking for.
“Remus!” Peter’s voice cut through the lunchroom buzz, making several heads turn. “Tell Padfoot to stop being a baby and eat his bloody carrots!”
Remus managed a faint smile, though his mind was elsewhere. He had been less than truthful to Regulus about a few things. One, he was now friends with Sirius. And two, he wished he could spend more time with them. They were chaos incarnate, everything he had missed in his previous solitude.
It all began when Regulus had stopped speaking to him at summer’s end. Remus had rejected Sirius’s advances, a painful decision that ultimately led him to the Potters’ home during a storm. James and Peter’s laughter and warmth had created a sense of belonging Remus had never known before. In those two and a half hours, he had laughed more than he ever had in his life.
So, yes, he may have lied to Regulus about how miserable his summer had been. The truth was far from that. He knew if Regulus discovered his new friendship with Sirius, it could end their fragile bond. So for now, he kept his arrangements hidden.
“I’m not here for long. I have to catch a debate in a few minutes,” Remus said with a sigh.
“Where’s James? I need to tell him something ” he added.
“Ms. Hooch stole him a while ago,” Peter responded, shaking his head with a hint of amusement.
Sirius, who had been quietly observing, flashed a grin. “We can tell him for you.”
“No, thanks. I’ll just text him,” Remus replied, a mischievous glint in his eye.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Hiding secrets from us now, Lupin?”
Remus smiled and winked at Sirius. “Gotta keep it interesting somehow.”
Sirius grinned, clearly enjoying the banter. Peter groaned, clearly annoyed by their constant flirting.
“I’ll get going. Tell James hi for me,” Remus said, pushing his chair back.
“Sure thing,” Peter called after him.
As Remus headed for the door, Lily appeared, her expression determined.
“Come with me. I’ve been looking all over for you,” she said in a monotone, grabbing Remus’s arm with surprising strength.
Remus tried to protest, but Lily’s grip was firm, and she dragged him away. He gave a resigned look back at Peter and Sirius.
Peter and Sirius exchanged glances.
“She scares me,” Peter said quietly.
“Same,” Sirius agreed, nodding emphatically.
Just then, someone slammed their food down on the table with a dramatic flair.
“I GOT A BLOODY DETENTION,” she announced, clearly irate. Peter jumped slightly at her outburst. Marlene sat down and snatched an apple from Sirius’s tray.
“Hey!” Sirius protested, though his tone was more amused than angry. Marlene could have taken the entire tray, and he wouldn't have minded.
“How do you even get a detention? It hasn’t even been five hours since we came back from break,” Sirius remarked, raising an eyebrow.
Marlene sighed dramatically. “We aren’t allowed to express ourselves freely around here.”
Sirius chuckled, clearly entertained. “You understand me.”
Marlene’s expression softened momentarily but then hardened again as an idea seemed to form in her mind.
“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t,” Peter warned.
Marlene grabbed a bag of crisps from her tray, abandoning the rest, and dashed off towards Headmistress McGonagall’s office.
“Well, at least I tried,” Peter said as Sirius grabbed the remaining food from Marlene’s tray with a grin.
“You coming to movie night?” Sirius asked, taking a big bite of his sandwich.
“Duh,” Peter said, sounding as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Sirius nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I’ll be there too.”
“Sirius. You fucking live there. I’d be more surprised if you didn’t,” Peter said, with a confused expression on why Sirius needed to mention this very obvious fact.
Sirius laughed, a genuine, carefree sound that seemed to brighten the room. He did live there, after all. He didn’t have to sneak out to enjoy these things; he could do whatever he wanted, away from the prying, disappointing eyes of his mother.
“Earth to Sirius!” Peter said, throwing a chip at him, breaking his reverie.
“What were you saying?” Sirius asked, snapping back to attention.
“I was saying that we could plan our first prank while watching the movie,” Peter suggested, eyes gleaming with mischief.
Sirius’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Perfect”
---
James entered the queue for food, a bit late because Hooch had told him the most groundbreaking news, well not really but he couldn't help but be shocked he was going to be captain this year, for some reason, there were so many other candidates better than him, why him? He wasn't good enough for that he would just mess it up.
His stomach had been in a knot since hooch delivered it to him a feeling he couldn't describe was bubbling in him but he still managed to charm his way into getting a bag of chips from the lunch lady. Just as he was about to move on, a loud voice cut through the crowd.
"Prongs!" Sirius’s voice rang out, causing a few groans from the students around.
James turned to see Sirius dramatically clinging to him. “Peter left ME to handle stuff for the drama club,” Sirius complained, making sure everyone within earshot knew. “I was left for the fucking drama club!”
“Well they have that production and all”
Sirius hummed in agreement Peter had been stressing over that production since the last writer quit before the start of the school year and they still hadn't found a replacement
“It's really important to Peter”
“Yeah but THE DRAMA CLUB over me!? His best friend of over 7 years”
James smiled knowing Sirius was being sarcastic he even let out a huffed laugh.
A few people glanced over, and the lunch lady shot them a disapproving look. Sirius noticed the attention and responded with a dirty look of his own. Before things could escalate further, James gently but firmly pulled Sirius away.
“Why does the lunch lady hate me so much?” Sirius asked, genuinely puzzled.
James grinned as they walked towards their classrooms, deliberately taking the longer route to extend their conversation. “She thinks you’re a bad influence.”
Sirius stopped in his tracks, staring at James with a look of exaggerated shock. “Me? A bad influence? That’s outrageous!”
“Tell me one good thing you’ve done lately,” James challenged his tone light.
“I cleaned the whole school during summer!” Sirius declared triumphantly.
“That was because you got community service after starting a fight,” James pointed out, smirking.
“That was—uh, that was an accident!” Sirius stammered before pouting. “You know what, I’m not talking to you anymore.”
James laughed, patting Sirius on the back. “Sure, Pads. See you at home! Love you!”
Sirius, with considerably less enthusiasm, echoed back, “Love you too, Prongs.”
The two split up Sirius heading to his class and James heading to his.
James entered his classroom and spotted Dorcas sitting at her desk she gave him a slight wave before ushering him to sit next to her.
Their teacher began with very little enthusiasm clearly not wanting to their right now and instead gave them packets to finish before the end of class since he couldn't be bothered with teaching on the first day of school.
James furrowed his eyebrows at a question not being able to figure it out, math was one of his many weaknesses along with the rest of the subjects well except for physical education.
He tapped Dorcas on the shoulder and held up a sheet of paper. “What does this mean?” he asked, looking genuinely confused.
Dorcas raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Are you telling me you don’t get this?”
James shrugged, looking sheepish. “Er, yeah?”
Dorcas sighed, exasperated but determined to help. “Is there anything in that pretty little head of yours besides sports?”
James let out an apologetic smile as Dorcas sighed loudly trying her best to explain it to James.
James’s phone buzzed, and he quickly glanced at the notification, trying to hide it under the desk
As Dorcas continued explaining, James’s mind wandered to the message on his phone, wondering what it could be about.
He cast a furtive glance at his screen, fingers hovering over the reply button, trying to balance his attention between Dorcas’s explanations and whatever awaited him on his phone.
SOULMATE (real)
04: 21
Stuff it my teacher said I did an okay job on my media exam ;)
04:23
Thats great pads!!
04:25
I KNOW
04: 25
I can't figure this out for the life of me
04: 27
Rnt you with dorcas in that class y dont you ask her?
04: 31
I did and i still dont get it
04: 32
LOL shes sp fed up with you
so*
04: 35
i figured it out :)
04: 41
did pete say he was coming to movie night
04: 47
??pads???
05: 32
IGOT A BLOODY DETENTION
05: 38
no need to wait for me though ill hitch a ride with marls she has one too
05: 34 so much for a good influene
05: 16 🖕
05: 17 xxx bye now ive got tp rearange this whole shelf :,(
05 :1 : BYE BYE LOVE YOU PADS!!
The voice almost made Sirius fall off the ladder leaning haphazardly on the shelf.
"Less texting, more organizing!" Ms. Norris screeched. Sirius shuddered at the sound of her voice.
Her eyes zeroed in on his figure, and Sirius could feel her staring into his soul. "When I come back here in an hour, this place better sparkle!" Her voice was ragged, and she coughed a few times in that short sentence.
She pointed her bony finger at him. "And don’t you think about leaving early!" Her voice was eerie, and the scruffiness was replaced with a deafening screech.
Sirius tried to stammer out a reply. "But, Ms. Norris, I—"
"No buts!" she interrupted, her eyes narrowing.
She turned around, and Sirius looked back at the shelf he was organizing. After a bit, he heard her heels click on the wooden floors of the audio room.
"Ugh, why is everything so bloody dusty?" Sirius muttered under his breath, picking up another dusty book.
Sirius hated these types of detention. He would much rather be in a room with a teacher watching them as they did homework, though that was mostly a pipe dream.
He worked silently for a good half-hour before sighing loudly. His hair, which was originally down, was now in a very untidy bun. His eyeliner that he had hurriedly put on that morning became a bit smudged, and he was so very tired.
"Sirius?"
Sirius jumped at the voice because he knew exactly who it belonged to, and his hair was way too frizzy to have a conversation with this person.
He pretended he didn’t hear the voice, hoping he would just go away or, better yet, that this was an illusion.
But the person didn’t get the memo at all. He heard the clicking of their shoes approaching him and felt a tap.
Sirius grimaced as he turned around, backing into the table.
Shit.
Remus was way too close.
And Sirius could swear he stopped breathing.
"Er, hi," Sirius said, cringing at his own words. "Might there be a reason why you're here?"
His ash brown hair was unkempt like he had run here. "I thought I was late; turns out I’m still a bit early," Remus groaned.
"Oh—is the debate club going to meet here?" Remus nodded at him.
Sirius grinned. "That's excuse enough to get me out of here, right?"
"Hm, maybe. Who are you doing detention for?"
Sirius groaned. "Ms. Norris."
The man in front of him laughed. "Good luck with that," he muttered between breaths.
Once Remus finished his fit of laughter and straightened his posture, and when he finally realized the distance between them a crimson blush ran through his face as he backed away. "Sorry—"
God, this was awkward.
Remus scratched the back of his neck, clearly searching for something to say. "How long have you been in here?"
"Feels like forever," Sirius replied, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "Probably just an hour, though."
Remus nodded, glancing around the room. "Need any help? I’ve got some time before the club starts."
Sirius hesitated. "I don’t want to drag you into my mess."
"It's fine," Remus said with a small smile. "I don't mind."
There was a tense silence as Remus started helping Sirius arrange the shelves. Their hands brushed a few times, each contact sending a jolt through Sirius. He tried to focus on the task, but Remus's proximity was making it difficult.
Their hands touched a few times and it was always met with a deafening silence
"So, any plans for the weekend?" Remus asked, trying to break the tension.
"Not really," Sirius replied. "Probably just sleeping . You?"
Remus said, his tone casual. "Maybe we could... study together?"
Sirius's heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, that sounds good."
Another silence fell between them, thicker this time. The tension was almost unbearable. Sirius could feel his cheeks heating up and hoped Remus didn't notice.
"Listen, Sirius, I—"
But Sirius couldn't handle the intensity of the moment. The room felt too small, the air too thick. He took a step back, his mind racing.
"I—uh, I need to go," Sirius stammered, his eyes darting to the door.
"Sirius, wait," Remus called, stepping forward, but it was too late.
Without another word, Sirius bolted for the door, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste.
"Sirius!" Remus shouted after him, but Sirius didn't stop. He needed to get out, needed to breathe. The tension, the closeness, it was all too much.
Once outside, he leaned against the wall, heart pounding. Why did Remus have to make everything so complicated?
Inside the room, Remus stood staring at the door, a mixture of confusion and sadness in his eyes. He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair.
"Sirius," he murmured to himself, "what are we going to do?"
Sirius whipped out his phone, his hands trembling slightly, and opened the messaging app.
Soulmate (real)
06:03
Prongs plan my funeral and make sure I look pretty in the fucking casket