On Trial.
REMUS
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Remus is escorted off the Hogwarts grounds in handcuffs. They’re made of silver, and they leave raw blisters welting around Remus wrists. He focuses solely on that pain. Minister Barnow takes him to a portkey in the shape of an old bike tyre, and then they are being whisked away with the familiar jolt accompanying all transportational magic. Their destination is a tiny cement room with no windows. There is a small, worn-looking bed pressed into a corner. It is distinctly reminiscent of the Shrieking Shack.
“An emergency assembly of the Wizengamot has been called for your trial tomorrow morning.” Barnow informs him, his voice completely void of any emotion other than disdain. He removes Remus’ handcuffs, leaves him alone in the room and locks the door with a harsh and final click.
***
The following morning, Remus is brought before the intimidating crowd of witches and wizards that comprise the Wizengamot. He’s placed in a heavy metal cage in the centre of the room. It is humiliating. Everyone is whispering about him, and the palpable tension is suffocating. A middle aged wizard in deep purple robes calls them all to attention, and Minister Barnow stands up to read the charges against Remus.
“This boy is an unregistered werewolf attending the institution of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is alleged that on the full moon two days ago, Mr Lupin fatally attacked another student. We will now hear a witness testimony.”
Testimony? Someone had actually seen him kill Severus? The thought made him want to throw up. Remus had assumed that someone had found Severus’ body next to his own unconscious form and made the reasonable connection. He felt immense pity for the person who had to see that. Remus would always carry the guilt of Severus’ death, but at least he had no recollection of it actually occurring. The witness, whoever they were, would probably see that horror every time they closed their eyes. The witness steps forward, and- oh. Oh. Remus eyes’ make direct contact with someone else’s, gazing out from behind round rimmed glasses. James Potter has deep shadows under his eyes, and his wild hair is even more unruly than usual. Remus searches James’ eyes for any sign of hatred or anger, because surely James despises Remus, after the unimaginable horrors he saw. But this is James Potter. He is forgiving and infinitely loyal and he is incapable of hating his friends, even for their worst crimes.
“James Fleamont Potter, are you prepared to give testimony?” Minister Barnow demands.
James gulps down a shaky breath, looking to Professor Dumbledore for guidance. Dumbledore gives a brief, subtle nod, which James copies. “Yes sir, I can testify.” His voice is low and shaky, but it seems to echo throughout the silent room.
“James, when did you first become aware that your roommate, Mr Lupin, was a werewolf?” Mr Barnow begins.
“In our second year, Sir.” James mumbles, meekly. Remus clearly remembers his mates finding out his secret. It’s one of his best memories at Hogwarts. They’d confronted him the day before a full moon, reassured him that it hadn’t changed anything between them, and had snuck into the hospital wing with three bags full of chocolate and all his favourite books to keep him company. From then, it became a monthly tradition which Remus could always look forward to after a full. His friends had been there for him every time he woke up in Madam Pomfrey’s wards, without fail. They had never missed one. Well, never before yesterday.
“James, since you were aware of Mr Lupin’s lycanthropy, what exactly compelled you to seek out Mr Lupin on the night of the full moon?” Minister Barnow questioned, an edge to his tone that Remus couldn’t quite identify.
“Remus spends every full moon in a shack which connects to the Hogwarts grounds through an underground passageway. The entrance is guarded by the Whomping Willow. Sirius told Snape to go there on the full moon.” James begins slowly, his eyes flickering desperately between Dumbledore, Barnow and Remus. “I found out what Sirius had said to Snape, and I ran to the Willow to try and stop Snape from going in there.”
Minister Barnow peers hungrily at James.
“And tells us, James, what did you see when you arrived at the shrieking shack?”
James took a deep, shuddering breath. Remus doesn’t know if he can stomach hearing this.
“When I got there, Remus had already transformed. He was backing Severus into a corner. And then I transformed-”
“Transformed? Please clarify what you mean by that, Mr Potter.” Mr Barnow interrupted abruptly.
“Oh, um, I…” James faltered for a moment, “I’m an animagus.”
Remus looked to Dumbledore. The elderly wizard’s expression didn’t even flicker. He already knew that part, then.
“Hm. Unregistered, underage animagus. We’ll come back to that at a later date, Mr Potter. Now please go on.” Barnow pressed his lips together in a thin line.
“Right, yes Sir. I distracted Remus in my animagus form, and Severus ran out back down the passageway. But I couldn’t hold Remus off, and he broke out and started chasing Snape all the way out of the willow and into the forbidden forest. I chased after them, too.”
James scrunches his face. Remus can tell he’s trying to distance himself from that memory. It’s one of James’ habits. Whenever he doesn’t want to think about something, he screws his face up really tight, like he’s trying to force it out of his skin.
“And then what?” Barnow presses, impatient now.
James looks straight at Remus, and his eyes are full of tears and sorrow and apologies.
“Remus caught up to Severus and…and he bit him on the neck.” James’ voice was a tiny whimper, like he didn't want anyone, least of all Remus, to have to hear this.
“And then?”
“Severus was wearing a silver necklace. Werewolves hate silver, and Remus started clawing at it really aggressively. Like he couldn't stand the thing. He left these really massive, deep scratches right across Snape’s chest. It-It was…brutal.” James gripped the side of the witness stand so hard, his knuckles started turning white. He looked like he was going to be sick any second now.
“Remus got distracted and went back down to the willow. I tried to carry Severus back to the hospital wing, but we were really deep into the forest and it just wasn't working. He lost too much blood. He died about 15 minutes after the…attack.” Now, James’ voice is clinical and devoid of emotion. He is detached and distant, existing in that funny liminal space in his mind where no one else can ever reach him. Sometimes, Remus envies him for that ability.
“Thank you, James, you are dismissed from this testimony.” The purple robe wizard declares, and James sags in visible relief. He takes his original seat. The jury of witches and wizards discuss Remus’ case in soft, mumbled voices for what seems like at least a few hours, but is likely about 40 minutes.
The purple robe wizard is the one to break this routine. He stands solemnly, unfolds a parchment scroll and reads: “Remus John Lupin, you have been found guilty of the charge of murder whilst under the unconscious influence of a lycanthropic episode. But regardless of the circumstances, the punishment for murder is the same. You have been sentenced to life in Azkaban.”
Before Remus can even process this condemnation, a shriek cuts through the building tension in the room. “No! No, no!” James cries out, standing up and gesturing frantically about the room. “No! You can’t send him to Azkaban! It wasn’t his fault. He couldn't stop anything that happened. He wasn’t himself! He was a werewolf who had no control over his thoughts or actions or anything. You can’t just-”
“That’s enough, Mr Potter. The court’s decision is final, and-” Dumbledore says calmly.
“You! Professor Dumbledore, you can’t let this happen. You told me testifying would help prove his innocence! You told me that he would be pardoned! You said-” James jabs an accusatory finger at Dumbledore, his face completely red from yelling.
“Enough! Get him out of here!” Barnow orders, and two wizards step out to grab James by the shoulders and start firmly pulling him towards the nearest door. “No! No, don’t do this! It’s not his fault.” James pleads desperately, but Remus is the only one paying him any attention. The wizards are still pulling James towards the door, and he’s still screaming in protest. “No! Remus! Remus, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it, Remus, I swear I will!” and then James Potter is forcibly removed from the room, and his protests echo down the hallway until they fade out completely.
Remus knows that will be the last time he ever sees James Potter. There are no visitors in Azkaban, and he has a life sentence. He will never see his mother or father or Pete or Lily or…or Sirius, ever again. The reality of Remus’ situation truly sinks in for the first time. His past is slipping through his fingers, and his future is swirling down the drain. From now, there is only now. Remus can no longer afford to remember his life before two days ago, and it will do him no good to hope for a different future.
Remus completely dissociates from the world around him. He refuses to think, to feel anything. He blinks, and when he finally opens his eyes again, he finds himself in yet another tiny, dingy, cold room, designed to keep him securely locked inside. Forever.