Don’t Paint me Black

“I’ll miss you this school year”. Cassey looked up to Penny hand in hand, shoulders touching, whilst sitting together under a large tree. Silently Cassey agreed. She thought she’d miss Penny more this school year than she’d ever done before. Something had changed for her this summer. Perhaps it had always been there, and this was the first time she’d been brave enough to acknowledge it.

“You don’t miss me every year?” Cassey said, raising an eyebrow impishly.

She smiled softly before rolling her eyes, “You know what I mean”.

And she did. They’d known each other for six years now, first meeting when they were ten. Cassey had stumbled upon Penny in the woods at the back of Grimmauld Place, painting under a tree like she’d always been there. Cassey had been shocked and non-too pleased to see another person in the woods. It was her woods after all. She’s spent as much time as she could there, doing work set by tutors or just reading. The woods were perfect to get away from Grimmauld Place. Close enough to the house to not be scolded but far enough that she could be truly alone. Her mother wouldn’t be caught somewhere that would mean risking mud at the hems of her dresses while her father never cared enough to know where she was to even consider going to see her. But seeing someone else there had been off putting.

Cassey had asked why she was there and demanded that she’d leave but Penny ignored her glaring eyes and smiled that big smile that now made Cassey's heart melt. Her excitement at seeing someone her age for the first time since she had just moved here seemed to nullify any sense of self-preservation the girl had.

The more Penny had spoken at her, the more terror clawed at her throat. She obviously wasn’t a pure blood. She wore a flowing yellow dress with lead smudges on her fingers and bits of leaves and dirt sticking to her skin and dress. No pureblood would be caught dead in such a state.

Cassey was almost positive she’d never met anyone who wasn’t a pureblood before Penny. She’d rarely left the house, only going to and from her cousin’s home or a select few pureblood houses. Her identity had been something of a secret despite no one directly acknowledging it as such. Her group of friends had consisted of those of the most pure-blooded families with the highest of status. Though “friends” was a generous word when she liked few and tolerated the rest, her favourite being Darius Rosier. He was quiet as she was but, when alone he’d understood her enough to know that she’d rather someone else do the talking, which allowed him to ramble on about quidditch without expecting an answer from her.

The more Penny spoke and questioned the more captivated Cassey was. She spoke differently to those around her, her words freer, never with an ulterior motive or the knowledge that you were always being judged. Cassey knew even at nine, as did the rest of her friends, that they had a legacy to protect and a status that was sacred. Every word spoken, every movement made was always being watched and critiqued. Penny was the opposite, her hands flailed while she talked, always moving in her seat as if she couldn’t sit still. Her words held no hesitations, she seemed to say anything that came to mind.

Most interestingly she was nice. She wasn’t arrogant as were many of the pure-blooded children she’d spent her time with. She was funny and smiled more than she’d seen anyone ever do before.

Eventually her woods turned in theirs, and Cassy soon realised that she could not imagine the vibrant greens of their woods without Penny in them.

With the new anxiety that came with going into her woods also came excitement. As they continued to meet, Cassey concluded that Penny had no idea of the magical world, though she wasn’t sure if that was much better as a half-blood or a mud blood. Her parents had warned her endlessly of how vile and unworthy mud bloods were. Muggles were treated as something so insignificant and unworthy of their time that Cassey rarely heard rants about them.

What started as plain curiosity soon grew into Cassey liking Penny and enjoying her company. Penny was kind, funny and smart. So many times, throughout the years during her mother’s rantings about muggle-born and half-bloods Cassey wanted to say that she was wrong. That maybe there was at least one muggle that was worthy of their company.

The nagging suspicion that her parents may be wrong only grew with Cassey and Penny's relationship. Cassey still held prejudices herself, being more comfortable with her pure-blooded peers and avoiding the rest when she’d started school. She could appreciate that they were just as smart and maybe as powerful, but her mother’s ranting and warnings always told her to not get too close, Penny being the exception. Of course, but the time Cassey and decided Penny wasn’t anything close to a pureblood the roots of their friendship had already taken hold and Cassey would’ve been remiss to pull them out now.

However, when they were 12 their regular meetings would stop. Penny had told Cassey that she would be going to a boarding school. Cassey had wondered for a while if Penny held some magic. A few times objects would move, winds would change, though both had a silent agreement to not acknowledge it.

Cassey had asked offhandedly if the school was called Hogwarts, seeing no harm as if Penny wasn’t a witch she wouldn’t know the school anyway. However, when Penny's eyes widened in shock, Cassey knew the answer. Cassey had been right; Penny and her family knew nothing about magic prior to her letter coming and a conversation with the deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts.

Penny was ecstatic to know someone else was magical. The weeks before they started school were filled with questions about the magical world. Cassey evaded personal ones such as her status and her family. She opted to avoid subjects of what being a muggle born would mean for her and those she should avoid. No matter how cruel, Cassey didn’t want her to question her about her family, thus far she had avoided mention of her own last name, though she had an inkling that Penny understood that they weren’t the kindest therefore avoided any further questioning.

Their friendship had grown after that, Cassey felt she could fully be herself whilst Penny felt as if a part of her had finally been revealed. They exchanged letters whilst away at school, Cassey going to Beauxbatons rather than Hogwarts but they still met during the summer and winter breaks.

They sat in silence soaking up the last of each other’s company before the long months of separation.

“You’ll send letters, won’t you?” Penny asked.

“You need to ask?”

“No, I know.” Penny grinned her dark brown eyes twinkling at her.

“Just remember to- “

“I know, get rid of the letters,” she said resignedly. It was a precaution Cassey had made them both take ever since they had started sending letters in their first years. She couldn’t risk anyone at Hogwarts seeing the letters and knowing they were from her, though she knew the purebloods had nothing to do with Penny, it was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. As for herself, it was easy to say they were from one of her friends back in Britain, but she had nowhere safe to keep the letters at home. It was a constant fear Cassey held that one day her parents would find out, she didn’t even like to imagine what would happen if they did.

Penny had understood as much as she could. One time Penny had brought her younger brother Gabriel to meet her, as soon as she’d seen him, she turned around and went straight back home without a second thought. The next time they had met each other she had apologised for not turning up and explained that her parents weren’t particularly supportive of muggle borns and she’d rather not risk it. Penny had been surprisingly understanding, much to Cassey's relief. It had been bad enough that her closest friend was a muggle born, she didn’t want to add more to the mix.

“I’m sorry,” Cassey said softly looking down, entwining their hands together, Penny's dark one in Cassey’s pale.

“It’s ok, I know it probably with good reason.”

Cassey wasn’t sure there was, but she was far too scared of her parents and what they may do to her that she didn’t dispute.

Cassey looked at back to Penny, compassionate smile gracing her face. Penny's dark eyes reflected Cassey owns stormy grey. Their faces were closer now, Cassey could see each eyelash and where the outer circles of her irises were almost black.

Penny had always been beautiful in Cassey’s opinion. Penny’s skin was dark and warm compared to Cassey’s paper white. She had shoulder length dark brown hair that surround her face with fluffy curls. Her own was pin straight, black and went down the length of her back. Penny's round face and soft features a stark contrast with Cassey sharp and severe ones.

As they continued to stare at one another the air shifted. Penny’s hand raised to her cheek, thumb gently rubbing her cheek. Cassey’s heart raced, caught in her throat, but she didn’t pull back. Their mouths met, soft and tentative. The feeling was alien, she had never done this before and was sure Penny hadn’t either.

It felt right though. It was almost freeing. She’s avoided thinking about Penny as more then a friend for a long time now, it was a relief to finally give in, and to know that Penny had felt a similar way made a warmth spread through her heart.

The kiss was short but gentle. They pulled back, Penny released a soft laugh, cheeks reddening. Cassey knew this would have greater implications but the warm feeling bubbling in her stomach distracted her.

“Was that, ok?” Penny asked sheepishly.

“Yes,” she replied somewhat dazed.

Blood pounded in her ears. She didn’t want to panic but she knew that she couldn’t hide her feelings for Penny after this and the feeling weighed heavily on her heart. It couldn’t work. It couldn’t. It was bad enough that they were friends, anything more would be a disaster.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

Cassey almost didn’t catch what she said, mind still reeling. Because yes, she had thought about it before, before pushing the urge down so desperately it made her head spin.

“Oh,” Cassey replied absently, heart still racing and cheeks warm. Her head was spinning, it wasn’t a good idea. They weren’t a good idea. If her mother had any clue of this at all, she’d lock her in her room, until she was to be married off. Even then she wasn’t sure her mother would let her go.

“You’re panicking,” Penny said. Cassey looked up at that. She saw Penny eyeing her, face laced with concern.

She swallowed “I’m not,” voice hoarse.

“You don’t like me?” Penny sounded so unsure of herself, and Cassey hated that she was the reason for it. For as outgoing as Penny was she’d always been insecure when making friends. She’d never really had friends at her muggle school, the other children claiming her as strange when Penny would make strange and unexplainable things happen. This anxiety had lessened when she’d started Hogwarts and made more friends, however Cassey knew the worry crept up on her sometimes.

“Of course I do,” Cassey said emphatically. “It’s just complicated.”

“You can tell me anything, Cassey. I hope you know that.”

Cassey nodded, looking down. She knew she could tell her anything and Penny would likely understand, at least try to. It was in her nature. She’d always been too kind and forgiving when it came to her. Cassey thought that eventually Penny would get sick of the secrets. Especially when she started at Hogwarts and had made friends. But no, the fact that they were both magic only seemed to strengthen their friendship.

Cassey wondered though, how Penny would react if she told her. Penny had complained numerous times of the pure-blooded Slytherins, and how they would taunt her as well as other muggle-born. Letters often going long on how they were the same and could match, if not exceed what the purebloods were capable of, this would always be backed up with the mentions of how Hermoine Granger, a muggle born, was the top of all their classes.

“Maybe you could write me a letter, I know I’ve never really asked before. I’ve never wanted to pressure you.” Even with all the confusion Cassey placed on her, she was still always so kind.

Cassey thought it would be a good idea, if not depressing. She could write it out plain and simple. That her parents would more likely kill her than have another blood traitor as a child. Could tell her they’d never work because she had a duty to her family, the last Black to carry on the pureblood line. Tell her that she’d be more or less destined to marry Darius since birth once they’d both reached 18. She was sure this would all dissuade Penny from any further relationship. Though the thought of it, of losing Penny, the dark hole it would create in her heart, never to be filled again. The loss would be too much, and she was selfish enough not to think on it too often.

Penny sighed when looking at the digital watch on her arm. A gift from her brother a few years ago. One of the first muggle technologies Penny and shown her.

“I have to get back, Mum wants to get everything ready today, so we know what we need at Diagon alley tomorrow.” She looked desperately at Cassey “I don’t want to go.”

Cassey was reluctant too, though a small part of her was relieved. She needed time to think. It had almost been too much. It had taken everything in Cassey to stay and not run from Penny the moment it happened. She needed time away to stew in the guilt of knowingly betraying her family and to sit in the elatedness that she’d done something so brave with someone that made her truly happy.

Cassey stood, pulling Penny up with her. She was probably late already and knew her mother wouldn’t be pleased.

“I’ll write you. About everything too”.

“Thank you.” She drew closer to Cassey, “I’ll miss you”.

She could feel her breath on her face; Cassey tangled their fingers together.

“I’ll miss you too”.

Penny placed her lips lightly against hers once again before turning and leaving.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
Her feet dragged on the way home. Her mind stayed in the same cycle of thoughts on the way home. Feeling absolute giddiness that Penny had kissed her, along with the overwhelming sadness that it would be months until they saw each other again.

Entering the door of her home, she heard her mother’s shrill voice shouting her name.

“Cassiopeia! Cassiopeia!”

Dread filled her instantly. Her mind running through all the possibilities as to what she may have done to elicit this reaction. Usually when her mother wanted to speak with her, she’d get Kreacher let her know.

Rushing quickly, she followed her mother’s voice to the sitting room, heart hammering in her chest. Her mother stood in the centre of the room; skinny arms folded with a displeased expression.

“Where have you been,” her mother said sternly.

“The woods.”

“Always those woods,” she sneered, “sit, we have something to discuss.”

Her mother took a seat next to her father, her posture impeccable, not a hair out of place, whilst her father looked on disinterestedly.

Cassey followed suit, sitting across from them.

“You’ll be going to Hogwarts this school year, and you will not be returning to Beauxbatons.” Her mother said with finality.

Cassey was more then shocked, her mouth hanging slightly agape. “I-I why?” She stuttered.

The words tumbled out of her mouth without releasing. She cringed internally; it was the wrong thing to say. The right thing would’ve been a ‘yes mother’ before asking to go to her room.

“Excuse me?” Her mothers’ eyes narrowed, voiced filled with venom. Cassey’s breath hitched.

“Pardon, I’m just surprised is all.” She rushed out, hoping to fix the situation before it escalated further.

“You will not question me, understood.”

“Yes mother”

She stared at her; the same silver eyes boring into her. “Uniform and supplies have already been purchased. Your father and I will escort you to platform 9 ¾. Understood

She bit her lip and nodded.

“People will be watching you, remember that Cassiopeia”

“Yes mother” she replied once again. Her mother nodded at her once, a way of dismissal.

On the way out her mother called her name once more.

“You will in Slytherin” her mother stated austerely .

“Yes mother”, she replied quietly, before racing off to her room to think for the rest of the day.