Chapter 2
Jamie pov:
Jamie felt so much better having told someone. He wandered back to Griffindor tower. He was wondering about telling people and decided he would just start by telling one person, but who?
He had decided to tell the girls first, starting with Marlene, she was his oldest friend. "Jamie! Hi where have you been?"
"Hi Marls, I was just out talking with Pandora"
"Ooh was she telling you about those new things she found in the garden? She was very exited about them when we last spoke"
"Actually Marls we need to talk"
"Okay" Marlene replied looking unsure, "Is everything alright?" She said with a concerned tone.
"I've just been feeling a bit off recently" Jamie started.
"Like ill or something?" Marlene interrupted the concern on her face growing.
"No, nothing like that" Jamie paused looking down at his hands, "I've not really felt comfortable with myself for a while, like when I look at myself in the mirror it reflects someone different." Marlene looked at him for a while before she spoke. "I'm glad you felt you could speak to me. Do you want to tell me a bit more about what you have been feeling?" Jamie nodded and they talked for hours about how he was feeling. Jamie told Marlene the same thing he told Pandora about not telling any of the others, but using he/him pronouns with just Pandora and him. It felt so good to get it off his chest, but it had been a lot so he decided to just get some rest and think about everything tomorrow, but just as he was about to go to bed he heard a tap on the window. He turned to see Regulus' owl staring back at him with wide eyes, carrying a note that he soon realised was addressed to him. He quickly took it and opened it.
Meet at the astronomy tower at 10:00
Leo
'Leo' was the code name they made up for Regulus at the start of the year, so nobody would find out about them. They both had one, Jamie's being soleil, Regulus said this represented his personality perfectly.
He decided he would have to go, not only to stop being accused of avoiding Regulus, but also because he missed him. Merlin, he missed him so much his chest ached. But he could still hear a voice in the back of his head telling him that his boyfriend wouldn't understand. Of course he knew this wasn't rational and that Regulus loved him but it didn't stop the rising feeling of panic at the fact he was going to see him. It was still only 6 o'clock in the evening, so he still had a few hours to figure out what he was going to do. He decided to go speak to Pandora.
As he walked up to Ravenclaw tower the tight feeling in his chest worsened and his heart felt like it might explode. By the time he had reached the entrance to Ravenclaw common room he felt like he might collapse, there was someone thankfully walking out of the door and he managed to catch it before it fully closed and he quickly rushed in. He knew where Pandora's dorm was having been there before for projects or to talk about and interesting new species of creature Pandora had found. He rushed up the steps ignoring the questioning glances he received from people gathered in the common room, he reached the top and opened the door. To his shock, as the door swung in he saw two people jump apart. Pandora and Lily Evans. Jamie was too busy dealing with the Regulus problem to care much about what they were doing then, he looked at Pandora "Panda, I need your help" he spoke breathlessly. Her face filled with worry at the state of him. "Jamie? What happened? Are you ok?" She questioned. He glanced over to Lily, her face was still flushed presumably because he had unexpectedly walked in on them. Pandora turned to Lily and whispered something rushed into her ear. Lily then looked towards Jamie, smiled meekly and rushed out. "Panda I'm so sorry I didn't mean to interrupt"
"Don't apologize Jamie it's ok, I promise. What's up?"
"Regulus asked me to meet him later and I don't know what to do" He rushed out "I don't want to keep avoiding him, but I don't know if I can lie to him about being ok either" As he finished he felt all the held back emotion seep through the cracks of the mask he had made himself. There was no pretending infront of Pandora, she knew the real him. Tear started to form in the corners of his eyes, making his vision go blurry.
"Oh, Jamie" She said, watching him hold back tears. "Do you want me to come with you to meet him?" Jamie considered this for a moment, not wanting to further disrupt Pandora's evening, but deciding he couldn't do it on his own nodded gently. Pandora smiled softly at this and took his hands with hers. "When are you meant to be meeting him?" She said quietly.
"10:00" Jamie whispered, not thinking he could manage anything more.
"Ok then" she said confidently "Let's do this!"