Sirius is sitting cross-legged on the balcony staring at the clear summer night sky, his face stained from tears as he picks at the threads of his sleeve at two in the morning, He is listening to the quiet sounds outside just taking some time to feel and admire the stars above him.
Remus realises Sirius isn't in bed and gets up to find him, he spots him sitting outside on the balcony staring at the sky.
"Hey, love..."
He says softly walking out and sitting next to him his face turning worried as he sees Sirius’ tear-stained face glistening in the moonlight. Sirius glances at him giving a small heartbroken wave before staring back up at the stars. Remus’ head tilts a little in worry.
“You okay baby?”
He asks praying Sirius will open up to him but Sirius just nods gently. Remus swallows nodding, He raises a hand and gently brushes away Sirius's tears.
"My love, you're crying, are you sure you're okay?”
Sirius nods again chewing his bottom lip gently. Remus lets out a small sigh, he looks at Sirius for a bit before looking out at the sky.
“You're not making this easy for me…”
Remus sighs his expression mildly frustrated but mostly worried as he looks at Sirius.
“I just need peace and quiet, and time to breathe and hurt.”
Sirius says still not breaking eye contact with the stars, Remus nods understanding just a little bit better now.
“Okay…. I understand..”
He whispers before looking back at the sky, the moon is hardly there; just a slither but the stars are bright and the sky is clear it's honestly beautiful. They sit in complete silence for a few minutes before Sirius points to the sky and speaks up his voice a little strained.
“That's… that's his star; Regulus’... it's his birthday today, he would've been 25…”
Remus’ heart breaks a little as he hears the pain in his boyfriend’s voice. He desperately wanted to pull him closer and say something to comfort him, but he could tell this wasn't the time so he linked his fingers with Sirius’ and stayed quiet.
“He didn't deserve to die so young… he was barely even an adult…”
Sirius’ eyes well up with tears and they fall gracefully from his eyes rolling down his pale cheeks and dripping into his lap.
“I wish I could’ve loved him a little longer just so I could prove to him that I really did care.”
Remus’ own eyes sting a little, and his heart hurts for him. He wants nothing more than to take away this pain bring Regulus back and make it all better. But he can’t. So he squeezes Sirius’ hand and listens to him. Sirius sobs swallowing thickly.
“I never even got to say goodbye..”
Sirius chokes out his face wet with tears, Remus’ tears fall from his eyes as he whispers to him.
“I know baby… I know.”
Sirius ignores his attempt to comfort and chew his lip gently.
"I wish I’d died instead of him or at least died with him so I could’ve held him and comforted him as his lungs filled with water and he was pulled down, He always loved the water you know? Was never taught to swim but Merlin did he love the water, he always was writing poetry and music about it, he used to make me listen to him playing the piano and reading his poetry as if I had a clue about either but I listened regardless."
Sirius chuckles sadly through tears. Remus listens to him, focusing hard as he talks about his brother, his heart breaking over and over again. He squeezes Sirius's hand a little tighter, not trusting himself to speak. He didn't know what to say, to make any of this okay. So he stayed quiet, and held his hand tight, trying to comfort him silently.
"I just want one more day, one more moment with him and I would spend every second of it telling him over and over how much I love him; Over and over and over until my throat is red raw."
Tears fall from both of their faces as Sirius speaks. Remus rubs soft circles on his hand with his thumb trying to soothe his desperate sobs.
"Je suis désolé mon étoile, peut-être que dans une autre vie j'aurais pu être un meilleur frère." (I'm sorry my star, maybe in another life I could have been a better brother)
Sirius sobs whilst looking up at the sky. Remus looks over in surprise and catches on quickly that he's speaking to Regulus, despite not knowing any French, the sadness in his voice still hurts and he knows not to interrupt or respond to words that aren't for him.
"Je vivrai dans la douleur pour le reste de ma vie en sachant que la moitié de mon âme est noyée, mais toi-" (I will live in pain for the rest of my life knowing that half of my soul is drowned, but you-)
He chuckles a painful, heartbroken laugh, that sounds more like a sigh of sorrow and relief.
"-Tu reposeras en paix, à l'abri du mal, plus de douleur, plus de souffrance, juste la paix." (-You will rest in peace, safe from harm, no more pain, no more suffering, just peace.)
Remus just sits and listens as Sirius talks delicately but with so much meaning, He begins wishing he understood French as his heart throbs with how pained Sirius sounds, the tone of his voice alone is making him cry again.
"Tu fais une belle étoile Reggie. Joyeux anniversaire, je t'aime." (You make a beautiful star Reggie. Happy birthday, I love you.)
Sirius whispers to the sky with a small smile as tears fall down his face and drip onto his scarred thighs. Remus wipes them away letting his own tears fall as his thumb caresses Sirius’ cheek.
"What did you say?"
He whispers softly; curious. Sirius still can’t tear his eyes from the stars as he speaks.
"What I’ve needed to say for years"
He sighs shakily. Remus nods understandingly, his heart throbbing as he watches his boyfriend suffering from the loss of his brother
"I think... I think those words need to be ours, just for me and him"
Sirius whispers calmly, feeling the need to clarify. Remus smiles painfully and pulls Sirius into a small hug.
“It's okay, I understand my love. For you and Reggie…”
Sirius lets out a choked sob and nods clinging to Remus.
"For me and Reggie... l'étoile la plus brillante du ciel, the brightest star in the sky"