Only a fool for you

Evan kissed him

Evan kissed him

Evan kissed him 

Evan kissed him 

Evan freaking Rosier just kissed him square on the mouth and Peter just can't get his head around it. Why would the bloke that he's spent the better part of a year being obsessed with kiss him? Especially when said bloke already had the hottest boyfriend in all of hogwarts. There is just absolutely no way that Evan Rosier would throw it away for Peter.

There really was only one explanation. 

They're messing with him.

It made Peter want to roll up in a ball and cry, It made Peter want to fall into the black lake and never be seen again just to escape the embarrassment. Because that's what it was. Embarrassing. It's embarrassing that Peter thought that either of them could be even the slightest bit interested in him. Embarrassing that Peter let his feelings for those two get so out of hand and it's embarrassing that he let this happen two years in a row.

It was even worse this year because this was all completely his fault. Last year it was a little on Barty, for stringing him along when Peter didn't know any better but this time he should've known better. He should have smelt it from a mile away and shut it down before it could get too far. But Peter did not because he's a sucker for the smallest amount of attention and that's what they gave him attention.. They played him like a fool.

This must've been the plan all along, they must have been bored and in need of something to entertain them and there Peter was just served to them on a silver platter. So they played with him and Peter let them and for a second he thought that maybe they wanted to be with him. Stupid.

Peter didn't want to be alone because he was a little scared of what he might do to himself but he couldn't go back to the dorm because all he would hear from the guys are “i told you so” and “poor Peter”. Theyd suffocate him and he just couldn't deal with that tonight, not after that. So he wandered the halls and turned into Wormtail whenever he heard a prefect. He didn't know how long he'd been walking but it really could not have been that long, maybe an hour tops before a blob of blonde hair popped in front of him.

“Hello Peter” When the hell did she get there? And Peter thought he was quiet.

“H-hello Pandora.” Peter was immensely relieved that it wasnt the other Rosier twin. Pandora searched his face and he became very uncomfortable, her stare was more intimidating that Remus’ and Peter didn't think that was possible. Remus stares at you like he has all the pieces of your personal puzzle and it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. Pandora stares at you as if she designed the whole thing and is waiting for you to catch up. Which is not good for someone who had just kissed a man with a boyfriend. 

Oh Merlin.

Peter hadn't even thought of it like that. He just kissed someone elses boyfriend. Whether it was a game to them or not. Peters is gonna be sick. He's one of those people, gods he knew Evan has a boyfriend and kissed him anyway. He hates those kinds of people and now he is one. He is disgusting! Honestly, how can he live like this? Gods what he would give to be anyone else, just anyone. Anyone who is not him. Or maybe just get rid of the things he doesn't like. Like his height, or his extra pounds, then his excessive need to be noticed. Maybe if they took those things away he'd feel a little more comfortable in his skin and not like he's trying to scratch it off himself. Or maybe he-

“Oh that idiot.” Pandora whispered it mostly to herself while looking back and forth between his eyes. Peter tried to lower his head to avoid her eyes but she followed him, still intently watching him as if trying to look into his very soul. “I specifically told him. Ugh. he can't do anything right” More whispering followed by some breathy huffs before she suddenly stood up straight. Startling Peter a bit. 

“Alright listen to me Peter. I need you to really listen to me okay?” Peter nodded weakly before letting her continue. “You deserve to be loved, and there are people who are willing to give you that love. Now they may be complete idiots but you'll be really good for each other. But Peter you can't keep running from them, you need to go and take what you want. Even if it's scary because you might be surprised by what they say.” Pandora looked at him with such fire in her eyes that for a moment they looked just like Evans. That was enough to snap Peter back to the present. The present where Peter had just kissed a guy who has a boyfriend. Where Barty and Evan didn't want him.

You deserve to be loved

And you know what? He did. Well maybe not loved but he deserved to be wanted. There were plenty of blokes that wanted him… well there were at least a few. It ain't like Peters a virgin. So there are guys he could get, maybe not forever but at least a night and Peter deserved a good night. He has spent weeks obsessed with Barty and Evan and he deserved to have someone obsess over him tonight. So he may not be as handsome as Sirius, or as toned as Remus, or even as charming as James but Peter Pettigrew could get at the very least a one night stand. It might take a few times and Peter might have to pull out a couple tricks that he swore he'd never use again but he could do it. He needed to do it. He needs to feel wanted and if it can't be by the two blokes he lo- likes… then it might as well be some random bloke.

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Peter shouldn't be here. 

He's had too much to drink and the lights are causing a massive headache and he just wants to go back to his dorm and let Sirius fuss over where he's been.

Oh god, Sirius 

He’s gonna kill Peter, all of them are gonna kill him. He didn't tell them he was coming to this party because then they would have wanted to come and they would have stopped what he's trying to do now. Which brought him back to where he was now. Slumped under some Ravenclaws arm sipping a drink of who knows what while listening to them drown on and on about some magical nerd nonsense. 

Peter had heard some Ravenclaw girls talking about a party they were having tonight. Something about the stars or the moon. It didn't matter, all that mattered was there was gonna be booze and hot guys (Ravenclaws are the furthest thing from Slytherins in Peter's mind). So Peter had his mind made up, he was going to that party, he was going to find a hot guy, and he was going to get some. He didn't sleep at all last night after he finally stumbled into the dorms, ignoring his mates and going to sleep in his bed. Then he ignored them again while going to his classes. He definitely avoided Barty and Evan like the plague. So he deserved to get some of his stress relieved. So he's lied to his friends saying something about the astronomy tower or the green house, he couldn't quite remember. He did remember them not believing him because he was wearing what Sirius would call his “slut” clothes. But he had slammed the door before they could say anything. It's probably not a great idea if you can't tell your mates. Which brings him back to his first point.

Peter shouldn't do this.

But then he was kissing the guy's neck, effectively grabbing his attention. The guy looked down with a smug look, it looked nothing like how Barty looked at him, but Peter isnt thinking about that. The guy smiled and it was nothing close to Evans but Peter isnt thinking about that either. He really shouldn't do this. He doesn't feel anything for this guy. He was just the first guy that really caught Peter’s attention when he walked in and if he wasn't on a mission there would be no way that he'd ever go for this guy. He's too scrawny, Peter feels like he's gonna break his arm every time he grabs it and he's too pretentious, he won't stop mansplaining things to Peter. At least he's pretty… not as pretty as them.

Peter should not be doing this but he is so the least he could do was get on with it.

Peter batted his eyelashes and went to his tiptoes to whisper in the guy's ear, “let's get out of here”. The guy smiled (Peter should learn his name) before dipping down and giving Peter a kiss square on the mouth. It made Peter feel nothing. It wasn't like Evans at all, when Evan kissed him there were sparks and fireworks the whole hallmark shabang but with this guy there was just nothing. Maybe that's what Peter needs, maybe he needs a break from feeling things and nothing might be nice for a while. So Peter kissed back, then they pulled away, the guy took Peter by his waist (okay maybe his name was like Mike or something?). The guy waved to his friends which earned a few “bye Matt”s (Aha! Matt.)

After that it happened in a blur. Peter definitely had too much to drink because it felt like he was blacking out half the time. Peter blinked and they were making out, blinked and then they were on the stairs, blinked and he was on a bed. It was nice, Peter felt wanted and he felt seen and that was all he wanted so it doesn't matter that he doesn't feel anything else. 

When it's over Peter mumbles a thank you which is returned with a “anytime baby” and Peter has to fight back the urge to cringe at the words. He dressed in silence and fled as fast as he could. His legs hurt from the strain of the awkward position Matt made him stay in and he couldn't stop itching his neck, he knew it was littered with bite marks from the guy and  Peter couldn't help the need to get it off him. So he was tired, sore, and itchy, oh and also still very much drunk and he stumbled the halls to his dorm. You can see how this did not go over well with his mates.

“Peter Pettigrew it is almost 4 in the morning.” Sirius’ mom voice sent a sharp pang through his head and his gutt.

“Glad you-u know h-how to te-ll time pads.” Peter inwardly cringed at how slurred his voice sounded to his own ears.

“Oh he's got jokes, he thinks he's funny moony! You think he's funny prongs?” Peter moved his eyes from where Sirius was dramatically sitting on a chair in front of the door to where Remus is calmly sitting on his bed. Well at least one of them isn't mad at him, he doesn't dare look at James because he knows it is a mirrored version of Sirius's face right now.

“C’mon Pete where were you? You lie to us about where you went and then you turn off your location on the map. We were worried sick.” 

“You've got to be bloody kidding me. Are those hickeys?” James suddenly stood up and walked up to Peter, grabbing his face and turning it to the side to examine his neck.

“What! From who?” Sirius was up and in his space now also looking at Peter's neck as if he was some sort of circus freak. “From who, Peter.” 

Peter knocked they're hands away and took a step back. “Nobody, gods just leave it.” Peter tried to make it to his bed but suddenly Moony stepped into his way.

“You did want it didn't you?” Remus looked at him with a terrified expression and Peter might just throw up. Technically speaking, no. He did not want that jerk to leave marks, he vaguely remembers asking him not to actually but he's not quite sure. That's not what Remus is asking though so, yes he did want to have sex with the bloke, at least drunk Peter did so that had to count. He's not even sure why this is such a big bloody deal! It's not like they really care about him anyway.

“What?” He turned around to see Sirius standing closer to him now but his eyes were filled with such sadness and confusion, like something just broke of a piece of his heart but he didn't know why. Crap did Peter say that out loud.

“Pete is that what you really think?” No no no this can not be happening, he can not do this right now.

“I- I don't know what I thi-nk. I'm drunk and tired and I just need to go to sleep.” He pushed past Moony and charmed his curtains to stay shut efficiently keeping all of them from getting into his bed. Peter is the best and locking charms… it's why they keep him around.