I act like I don't f**** care, cause I'm so f**** scared
Evan Rosier does not get the things that he wants.
It is a fact because growing up in a family like his he learned from a very young age that just because he wanted something doesn't mean he could have it. In fact it probably meant that he had less of a chance to have it if he really wanted it. Evan knew this and he came to terms with it because there was never anything that he truly wanted so badly that he had to have it. So he went along with his parents plans and he never said anything about what he wanted and his life was fine. Then he met Barty Crouch.
Barty didn't know what he was doing to Evan. He didn't know that he was slowly but surely ruining Evan from the first day that he stepped into their room because Barty always gave Evan what he wanted. If Evan wanted the last croissant at the breakfast table? Barty would fight to the death to give it to him. If Evan wanted to skip class for the day because he just didn't feel like it? Barty would cover for him. If Evan wanted to mess with Snape by charming his door to lock him out? Barty was the one to do the spell.
Evan Rosier quite literally never stood a chance against Barty Crouch and he was okay with that because he was used to wanting things that he couldn't get.
So yes Evan was undoubtedly, quite embarrassingly, in love with his best mate. He would never do anything about it though because he valued Barty too much to get it wrong. So he loved him in secret and he watched as he went to everyone else but him and it hurt. The idiot even went to Regulus for his first kiss and not Evan, why not Evan? It really freaking hurt but at the end of the day it was Evan’s bed that he snuck into when he had a nightmare. Evan endured and he wanted in silence because that's what he knew how to do. It wasn't until close to the end of their 4th year that Barty told Evan that he felt the same and all Evan could think was finally! He's mine!
Mine
Mine
Mine
Well he was sorta his because when they were together he would feel magical, like Evan was the only bloke on the bloody planet and maybe he was. Until stupid Pettigrew walked in and suddenly there were two blokes on the planet. It had made Evan angry at first because while yes he's gotten used to not getting what he wanted, he was also never good at sharing the few things that are his. Especially not Barty, he’s even picked a few rows with Regulus over them getting too close and leaving Evan behind. So yes at first Evan wanted to strangle me Pettigrew til his lights went out but then something shifted, it had changed so drastically one day that Evan could swear to this day that he got whiplash.
He watched Barty one day out by the black lake. He watched as Pettigrew caught Bartys attention and he watched as Barty looked at that bloke the same way that he looked at Evan. Then Pettigrew had looked back and made eye contact with Barty before hiding behind the older Black brother and becoming out of view from them. Evan remembered clear as day, the look on Barty’s face, the clear longing and hurt. Evan had decided right then that he never wanted to see that look on his boyfriend's face again. Right then Evan Rosier decided that he could learn to share if it meant that his Barty could be happy.
That is what he had decided but well Evan still was a little shit, so before he went and did the noble thing he tried to do it his way first. Evan made sure that Pettigrew wasn't in a room before they entered it and if the little rat happened to appear after they were already there, well Evan would make sure that Barty was more than a little preoccupied. It worked for a little and Barty seemed to be just fine with Evan and only Evan but then the boy would get a glimpse of stupid Pettigrew and that stupid look would reappear on his face. It was frustrating to no end and so Evan snapped and he knew it wasn't right of him but he gave Barty an ultimatum and he chose Evan. It was pointless though because it didn't tell Evan anything that he didn't already know. He knew that Barty loved him, no matter what Evan thought that never wavered. So Barty picked Evan and Evan knew that it was time to do the right thing so he threw Barty a rope, but Barty didn't take it. He didn't take it and for some reason it made Evan uncomfortably sad and not just for Barty. It felt a little like something was missing and by giving Barty this opportunity he could get it back. Barty didn't take it though and it seemed like the boy was distancing himself from Pettigrew all on his own. Which again made Evan sad, maybe it was because Evan no longer had the excuse to watch Peter while he was in the courtyard or eating in the great hall. The thought that, that's how they're going to spend the rest of the year with them on their side and Peter on his, didn't sit right with Evan.
So maybe that's why Evan decided that tonight he would take matters into his own hands because if Barty couldn't get Peter back, then he would have to do it for him. In all honesty he did it a little selfishly too, he wanted to sit next to Peter so that he could know what on earth was so amazing about Pettigrew that he had gotten Barty so whipped so fast. So really it was a win, win.
“So, how'd this whole thing happen anyway?” It was Lupin that had asked but something told Evan that he had already known what was going on.
“Well, urrm. I had started joining Reggie up at the astronomy tower, purely to make sure that he was okay ya know with everything that's happened and it eventually just turned into more.” Evan thought that it was amusing that Potter kept glancing rapidly between the two black brothers in order not to say the wrong thing. From what Evan knows, the brothers are trying to make it work again and so they are technically on speaking terms. Though one wrong move could make them blow up.
“Yes, yes. James kept pestering me and then eventually charmed my trousers off. End of story.”
“JAMES POTTER-”
“No! No, that's not what happened!” James quickly tried to soothe Sirius down from whatever big brother complex reaction that was. Though he would never admit it out loud Evan thought it was sorta sweet the way James was reassuring Sirius with one hand and holding Regulus’ in the other.
“Let's change the subject, yeah? Wormy how about you tell us about that new book you're reading, yeah?” Evan could feel the way that Peter perked up at the question and one look to his face made Evan be able to see the way his eyes had a new spark in them and smile like he was so excited to talk about it. He looked absolutely stunning. Ah shit.
“Ohhh cmon moony! Nobody wants to talk about dusty old books. We came here to party!” Sirius said with an over dramatic groan. Evan felt the way that Peter retreated back into himself and it made him want to commit mass murder.
“We are not here to party pads.” For a moment Lupin looked apologetic to Peter but that quickly vanished when Sirius laid his head on Lupins shoulder. It made Evan's blood boil.
“Oh he's right moons, no one wants to hear that. Besides Sirius wouldn't understand it anyway” It was a joke and Peter made it pretty convincing that he didn't care if he talked about his book or not but if you looked hard enough you could tell that he really wanted to and that Sirius’ words hurt. It seemed that none of his friends cared though because Remus just laughed and Sirius let out a playful ‘watch it wormtail’ and lover boy obviously wasn't paying attention. So, on, their conversation went and all Peter did was give a small frown before hiding himself again.
“Hey I wouldn't mind hearing about that book.” Evan just couldn't help himself. Peter was right there and looking so down and small.
“Nah Sirius is right, it's a bore” Peter was mumbling and refusing to look either of them in the eye and that just would not do.
“Oh please anything is more interesting than those four idiots. And we wanna listen, right B?” Evan was planning to send a quick look to Barty to make sure he knew that this wasn't something to joke about only to be met with Barty looking at Peter with such intensity it sent an honest shiver down his spine.
“Yeah Pete, we wanna hear about it.” The pure honesty in Bartys voice must've made Peter snap his head up to look at him. It was kinda like Evan was intruding on a special moment with his boyfriend and another bloke. Evan sat there and watched them and waited for the jealousy to strike, he waited for the fire to burn in his belly and for him to want to cause harm to Peter but it didn't come. Instead there was a strange sense of excitement that Barty was having at this moment and also weirdly a sense of longing for Peter to look at him like that. Oh I'm so screwed
“A-alright well it's muggle.” Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat as if he was bracing for them to tell him nevermind he didn't want to hear about it.
“Ok. What's it about?” And just like that, the spark was back in Peter's eyes and Evan wanted to thank Merlin and Morgan both for not only letting him see such a beautiful sight but having it directed at him.
“So there are these siblings, right and they are playing hide and seek and the littlest one goes into a wardrobe of all things.” Evan wasn't too proud to admit that he lost himself a little in listening to Peter talk about his book. If it was anyone else Evan would've told them to piss off but because it was Peter this book was suddenly the most important thing in the world to him. So he and Barty let Peter talk, they listened and they only chipped in when it was necessary or they had to prove that they were really listening. It was absolutely brilliant
“Yeah so I'm on the second book now but I'm a little sad cause I can't seem to find the third one. I'll have to find it soon though because I'm almost finished.” Peter huffed a little bit before scrunching his nose and it was one of the cutest things Evan has ever seen, right up there with the little pout Barty gets when he's really focusing.
After that it seemed like the trio talked about pretty much everything. They discussed Peter's books a little bit more and then went on to Peter’s favorite subject which ironically is herbology. They somehow got from herebology to quidditch which they stayed on that topic for a while because it was something that all three of them could understand. It was a little strange for Evan because this never really happened to him, he was never able to talk to someone so comfortably after just meeting them, even with Barty it took a little bit before Evan could truly feel comfortable in the conversation but somehow talking to Peter just washed away all of his worries. Evan really couldn't tell you what they talked about after quidditch for two reasons.
- The conversation flowed so seamlessly that it was so terribly hard to see where one subject ended and the next started
- Peters lips were becoming increasingly distracting as the day rolled along
They spent pretty much the whole evening like that, wrapped in their own little bubble just the three of them and Merlin it was just perfect. Or it would've been if Pettigrews stupid friends didn't need him every ten minutes to either settle an argument or verify whatever stupid story they were trying to tell before throwing him out of the conversation again. It didn't seem to bother Peter much which was almost worse because that just meant that he was used to this kind of treatment. It made both Evan and (from the looks on his face) Barty irrationally angry but they were always there to pick Peter back up and let him talk as much as he wanted to them before his friends needed to use him again. Lupin was the worst, it was almost as if he was purposefully trying to get Peter to focus solely on the group because he would pull Peter away with the most ridiculous questions know to man and then would be reluctant to let him settle back in with Barty and Evan, it always worked out though because Sirius would eventually catch Lupins attention and Pete would be able to come back to them.
By the time that they were all back at the front door and saying their goodbyes to the other group as they went on to enjoy the rest of their hogsmeade visit, Evan was 100% sure of his decision. Thus he made sure to pull Barty back as Regulus and the girls were walking.
His boyfriend gave him a surprised look before it quickly melted into one of pure fondness that at any other time would have made him knees buckle but alas he was a man on a mission.
“Barty.”
“Yes, love?”
“He needs to be ours.”