Chapter 23
Anya turns over the first card on her reading for me as I do for hers.
The Lovers.
Both of us have turned over The Lovers.
She laughs, “Oh, that’s funny.” She runs her hand over the card, “I’m going to guess that’s about relationships?”
I nod, “Yes. It’s about strong relationships that feel as though people are soul mates.” I explain.
“Well, that makes sense look at me and Xander.” She says, “and you and Willow, of course.”
I nod, “There’s intense attraction,” I go on, “great, uh, sexual chemistry.” I feel my cheeks flushing a bit, but then based on bits of information that Anya, in particular, has dropped the two of them are very compatible with that part of their relationship, “It also a sign of maintaining a relationship through strengthening your emotional, intellectual and spiritual bonds. Communication and that sort of thing.” I feel as though it’s poking at me in that regard telling me I need to be better about that with Willow, and given Xander and Anya seem to have been having a few issues based on their interactions recently perhaps they need to do the same thing.
“Next card!” she declares and turns it over.
I feel a punch in my gut.
Both of us have turned over The Tower.
“Oh, wow.” She says, “Does that happen often?”
“No.” I swallow, “but I’ve never really done something like this before. It just seems a strange series of coincidences overall.”
“Your face says this is a less fun card.” She remarks.
I nod, “It’s about stress and breakdown of situations, often in a really bad way, say someone is going through emotional turmoil because of an issue of communication, or winds up having something terrible happen like a loss of job or something.” I really hope it’s not about the possibility of us breaking up. I know we have a lot going on between Willow and her magic and trying to sort that out—that’s probably what it’s about, how wound up I’ve been getting it.
“Oh!” she laughs, “I get what this is about.” Then she clams up, and then she looks at me curiously, “If I say something can you not tell Willow? or anyone really? It’s just so frustrating not being able to tell anyone about it and Xander has been so hesitant, and I don’t get it because it’s such amazing news.”
“I…” I hesitate, “I, well, is it going to be being told soon?” Are they having a baby? What’s going on? I could see him getting very freaked out about being a parent given everything that went on with his family based on what Willow has said.
“It better be.” She says.
I nod.
“He proposed and I said yes!” she practically screams.
That seems stranger to be being cagey about, though we have had a lot of other things going on. It definitely explains.
“You’re not happy?” she cuts into my thoughts.
“Oh, no I am!” I get up and give her a hug, “I just was thinking about why he’s not said anything—”
“I know!” she says, “Can you think of a good reason?”
“When did he propose?”
“Well, at first right before we went after Glory—but then again after we survived. I told him I wasn’t accepting until then. I was worried he just proposed because we thought we were going to die.”
“Ah.” I tell her, “And it has been utter madness since then.”
“Kind of.” She says, “I just…it makes me sad. I worry he doesn’t really want to marry me.”
I hug her again, “I know he loves you.”
“I know that too.” She says.
I sit back down. I nod, “I just thought you might like to hear that from someone else.”
She smiles, “It does help.” She flips over the last card.
Death.
I flip over mine.
Death.
My stomach drops through the floor into the core of the earth.
“Is—is that bad?” she asks.
I shake my head, “Not really. It doesn’t mean people are dying or anything.” I say hastily, “I’m just weirded out that we both turned over the same card again, and all three are Major Arcana.”
“They’re what?” she asks.
“The deck is divided in two.” I explain, “and the Major Arcana cards are all about heavier things. Things of significance.” I tell her.
She nods, but my explanation was kind of crap, so I don’t know if it was really helpful.
“What’s it mean then?”
“A change of life situation. One door closing, another door opening, like—I hate to keep using a job as an example but changing one job for another better one.”
“I’m not letting Giles have the store back,” she says emphatically.
“Oh, no not in this case.” I say, “That was just an example of something it can mean. This reading has been all about relationships, so it’s a change in that situation. A chapter ending. A new one starting.”
“Oh, so like us going from boyfriend-girlfriend to husband-wife.” Anya says.
I nod, “Yes, that could be it. Sometimes it talks about break-ups too.” I chew on my lip, “and with the stress of The Tower—”
“Wedding planning is stressful.” Anya points out.
“True, and I’m just being so thrown that Will and I are having the same cards. Of course, they don’t necessarily mean that we’ll be in the same situation. Just the same cards are being used to represent different things.”
“Are you and Willow breaking up?” she asks, “or getting married? Because Xander and I are getting married this year and I’m not doing a double wedding. I mean, it’d be exciting if you were but we should have our own days.”
“We haven’t talked about getting married.” I assure her, “Not that we legally could.” At least it sounds like they’ve been planning things even if they haven’t told us officially.
“You’re breaking up?” she asks, horrified.
“No.” I tell her emphatically, “We’ve—there’s been some discussions that have caused a bit of tension, about certain things, but we’re not breaking up. Some times conversations are hard in relationships, and you just have to work on communicating your feelings better—which is something that I, especially, have a hard time with. I’m always so nervous.”
“Just say what you need to.” Anya tells me. She frowns, “Xander does get annoyed with me sometimes for doing that—but there’s always so much fake-ness at times and I don’t like it. I’m not going to do that.”
I nod, “I envy you that sometimes being able to speak so…I don’t want to say bluntly.”
“Xander does.” She remarks, “He tells me I’m blunt and rude.”
I shake my head, “I can see where it comes across that way. We as humans are told from being children that we’re not supposed to say exactly what we’re feeling, so we learn to cater everything we’re going to say and run over it multiple times before we say it.”
“That must be so tiring.” She says.
I nod, “At times, yes.”
She puts the tarot cards back into the deck and offers it to me to wrap back in its cloth before I put it away. I realize there’s a customer coming in. She picks up my tarot reading sign and sets it at the edge of the table facing the door.
“Earn good money.” She says.