Summer and Cigarettes

To Regulus miss pleasure the temperatures had not gone down but rose even more during the next few days. The only time he did not feel trapped in hot air like in honey, his mind just as much as his body, was while lying in the water either in the sea, at the beach nearby, or in the small river right next to their house. The nights were barely manageable as well since the temperature never fell as much as it would need to, to cool down his overheated body and brain much.

So the heat consumed most of his days. Regulus could be found lying on his back in some body of water or letting his brain boil in the sun. Not to forget the other aspect that quite literally made his brain boil. James Potter. Of course, it was fucking James Potter. Everywhere he went he and his idiot brother insisted on following. Regulus guessed that they had made it their mission to annoy him, especially Potter.

He had made it his task in life to try to get Regulus to talk with him. Regulus however was neither a big fan of verbal communication nor was his brain in its best state while Potter was close to him.
On top of that was the former’s non-existent definition of personal space, which made this even harder.

One day he had just casually walked up to Regulus, who had been lying under a tree near the water, completely and utterly shirtless only dressed in swimming trunks. This may have been because he and Regulus’ brother had been swimming in the river, but that was beside the point.
On point was, that James had thrown himself into the grass next to Regulus, closely next to Regulus, and had started talking, while still basically naked, in his opinion. James on the other hand did not seem to be bothered at all. He just kept on chatting away happily. Not taking notice of the fact that neither Regs´ concentration nor his eyes were on James. Well, his eyes were on James but more downwards, to put it nicely.

How was it even fair to be that good-looking? It was not even at a level of Potter being conventionally attractive, many people could hold up with that. But what made it really unfair was that Potter was Regulus’ type to a peak. As if the gods had looked at him and said „We´re gonna make your life so much fucking harder.“
To top it all off they also had to make that miracle of a man his brother’s best friend.
Which for one meant that Regulus was forever cursed with seeing him and being close to him as long as he was close to his brother, giving him half a heart attack and a new set of breathing problems as an add-on every time. But Potter would also forever see Regulus as nothing other than his best friend’s baby brother.

This is why Regulus is an atheist.

Not one second of calmness was granted to him. No, he needed to be cursed with a hot brother’s best friend.
After James’ useless attempt at speaking with Regulus at the river had failed, he did not even give up. He just kept going, sending Regulus into a spiral of deep blushes he excused as sunburns, brain failure, heart attacks, and just overall chaos.

The night a few days ago, when they had shared a smoke on the balcony, seemed to have awoken an interest in Potter concerning Regulus, who could not quite cope with that. Did the older one simply want to annoy him? Or was he trying to look out for his best-mates little brother? Either option made Regulus suspicious.
That Potter felt like he had to look out for Regulus was the last thing he wanted.

Some might think getting the attention of someone you have liked for years would be something positive, not Regulus. He was more likely mortified. Not because he did not enjoy it, but because he did. It scared him how much he enjoyed it.
Every look of the older made his heart flutter and it felt like the others’ eyes on him could light a fire inside his body and on his skin.
He had always thought of James Potter as something like the sun. A thing he could never and would never reach. Something that was not meant to be approached by him or be a person he could get close to.
Like if he would have tried he would fall from the sky like Ikarus. It would burn him whole and he would die happy. But that was not Regulus’ path, his destiny was to always watch and never touch, always loom over him but never reach deeper than the surface.
Even if sometimes he felt like through Potter’s eyes you could look straight into his soul. ‚The eyes are the doors to the soul‘ was a widely known saying but Potter was the only person Regulus knew that it applied to.

So Regulus was mortified by this new development. It messed with all his rules regarding his secret obsession and changed bits of his beliefs. How bad could an obsession be?
If there would be a religion regarding James Potter Regulus would be the first to join. That answered the question quite nicely.

Solely the nights had been quiet and undisturbed for Regulus.
After their last encounter, Potter had not interrupted him again. Which was good, just what Regulus had wanted. He was not the tiniest bit disappointed. Not at all. Why would he be? Potter had his life, which may include Sirius but not Regulus. Apart from the others’ attempts at conversation maybe, but that would eventually come to an end as well.
He just had to be done with it. The balcony was a one-time thing and Regulus did not think about it anymore at all. Or so he told himself.

Slowly but surely he managed to convince himself of this as well, the thing is that if you experience something like this once you will always want it again. Just like candy. You just have to stop it completely and ban it from your mind.
Usually, Regulus was a master at making himself push stuff under the carpet, just like basically his whole childhood, but somehow this time his brain had an extra hard time.

Then when he had finally managed to almost forget about it, he found himself on the balcony again. And again a figure appeared next to him. Potter.
But this time he had heard him coming.
While having his obligatory smoke at midnight the balcony door had opened with a quiet squeaking, and shortly after footsteps had been approaching. Next thing he knew Potter stood next to him.

Being prepared this time Regulus did not turn to him yet but greeted the taller without looking over at him.

„Good evening, Potter“

„Why so formal? I’ve told you about a hundred times to call me James.“

James answered, he seemed to be caught slightly off guard, not expecting Regulus to have noticed him yet.

That was an exaggeration. Potter had told him to use his first name twice. But Regulus was stubborn and it also felt weird to call him ‚James’ it sounded so personal. Not to ignore was also that the other never listened to the smaller one telling him to stop calling him nicknames. So Regulus would ignore the taller one telling him to call him James.

„Good evening is not a formal greeting.“ Regulus informed him.

„Seems like it to me.“ After a moment of silence and Potter seemingly noticing that Regulus would not answer he kept going. „So is this like your thing?“

Just ignoring the first part Regulus raised his brows finally turning to look at the other, while blowing out a cloud of smoke.

„My thing?“

„Yes, your thing. Smoking at midnight I mean. Is it a ritual or something?“This time it was Potter who was proving that he could do the raised brows just as well as Reg.

„It’s my bedtime routine.“ Regulus answered truthfully.

„Interesting. So you’re here every night?“

Regulus only nodded taking another drag from the cigarette.

„Good to know.“

Suddenly the possibility of Potter now coming here every night dawned upon him, so he quickly turned around to him.

„Don´t think you can come here every night Potter.“

The called upon just grinned, which was typical for him.

„Come on Reggie don’t act like you don’t enjoy my presence at least a little bit.“

And with that Potter had hit the nail right on the head. Regulus was starting to enjoy the others’ company. Which was absolutely tragic and just unthinkable. It also did weird things to Regulus’ stomach.
He was not a fan. So he did what he was best at, turning around and avoiding the situation. Right now this meant turning to lean against the barricade again and keep on smoking.

„No. I do not.“

Potter in his very own fashion pressed a hand to his heart sighing dramatically.

„You wound me, Reggie!“

If he had to hold back from chuckling at that no one would ever know because if anything Regulus had a good poker face.

„Shut it, Potter. And don’t call me that. Some might say you’re as dramatic as my brother.“

Grinning once again the taller took the hand from his heart again and now instead also leaned against the barricade. Which would not have been a problem if that idiot would not have leaned so closely to Regulus. Whose body was now completely tensed up all concentration laying on the little point where their shoulders touched. Potter did not notice and just kept on talking.

„No one can beat Sirius at being dramatic. It is not humanly possible. Also, it’s nice to hear you talking, over the last few days I was starting to worry you might have gone mute.“

Sucking up his nervousness Regulus snorted again.

„Just because I don’t talk to you doesn’t mean that I’m mute.“

„And still you’re talking to me right now.“

„I’m seriously doubting why.“

With that, Regulus turned back to his side to look at Potter giving him his best unimpressed look.

„You’re just too swooned by my charm to ignore me.“

He was just about to answer something witty to that, he just did not know what yet, when he was stunned to silence again by Potter snatching the cigarette from him.

„See?“ The smug grin on the older’s face was probably visible from a mile away.

Regulus was in all honesty too stunned to come up with anything smart to answer. So he shut his mouth into a thin line and gave him a death stare, his mother would have been proud of him.

The other watched him for a second before breaking.

„Come on Reg don’t look at me like that… I’m serious, it’s frightening.“

Had he not mentioned how hard it was to stay mad at Potter? He could swear that there was some kind of spell in the others’ eyes making it impossible. So way too early for his liking the death stare cleared from his face and he almost grinned. What was wrong with him? Potter must be contagious.

„No, you’re not. That’s my brother.“

The older was most definitely contagious because since when did Regulus joke? Was he ill? He was seriously debating on just leaving and never coming back to recover from this.
Until he heard it. Laughing, Potter was laughing. Wholeheartedly and completely shameless it seemed to be a laugh produced by Potter’s whole being. A laugh that could not have been faked because it just sounded so much like him. A laugh like the sun would have if it could laugh.
Regulus did not regret anything anymore. Everything that he could do that would bring Potter to make that beautiful sound, was worth it.

How could he even find Regulus funny? He was known for, and also slightly proud of, being the unfunniest person on this planet. This universe even. And that joke was terrible. Overused by any of Sirius’ friends. And still, he was laughing so Regulus was happy.

Calming down again the other looked back at him.

„I did not expect to ever hear that come out of your mouth. The last time I tried to make that joke you almost beheaded me with looks.“

„I’m never gonna do that again.“

„Noooooo, you can’t do this to me, Reggie“

„Watch me.“

Looking back at the taller the corners of his mouth kept trying to rise into grinn. But he could not let that happen, enough is enough.
Potter was still chuckling, now almost having finished the cigarette, which to be honest Regulus had completely forgotten about. He reached it over to the younger who happily took the last drag. While doing so Potter mumbled,

„You know, like this, I might actually be able to get your nicotine intake down.“

Regulus studied his face while putting out the cigarette.

„At the health of your own lungs? I don’t know if that’s the smartest move, Potter.“

The older just shrugged.

„Like this, we can share the lung cancer. Also, it’s James for you.“

„You’re too nice for your own good… Potter.“

„stubborn.“

Was Potter’s only comment, ignoring the first part of Regulus’ sentence.
The younger let him, it was not like he liked to talk about his own problems either. That strangely warm and comfortable silence had settled around them again, as they left the balcony.

Just like the evening a few days ago, Potter was the first to break the silence. Looking over at Reg he quietly said:

„Goodnight Regulus.“

„Goodnight Potter.“