“No. Nope! Not happening!” Dazai refused.
“Come on, Snakey!” Fred said.
“Why not?” George whined.
“Because I said so!” Dazai shouted, frustrated. Why were they so insistent?
“You sound like our mom!” Fred snorted.
“Please teach us your ways.”
“No, I'm not training you! End of discussion.”
“Blaise, I choose you!” Fred called.
Dazai started to leave the gang's office when Blaise stopped him.
“Please boss. Don't you want us to see things more logically like you, so we can stay safer?” As if Dazai ever stayed safe. (Blaise used persuasion… it was very effective)
“Thats-” Dazai started. “That's not fair! You can't just use Blaise to do your bidding-”
“Everyone say ‘please Dazai’.” George declared.
“Please Dazai!” Everyone shouted, except for Pansy.
“Even you, Hermione!?” Dazai asked.
“What? I'm interested in the brain part, not the brawn part!” Hermione blushed a little.
“W-well I won't be doing this unless…” Dazai looked around in thought. “Unless Pansy agrees to admit I'm smarter than her!” Haha they'll never get her to do that and I won't have to train them.
“What!?” Pansy scowled. The gang slowly turned towards her and crowded around her.
“Please Pansy!”
“Just this once!”
“No way! Why would I lie-”
“Better give it up now. Pansy refuses to admit the truth.” Dazai taunted.
“Never!” The twins declared. “Ron. It’s time to unleash the secret weapon.”
“Secret weapon?” Dazai questioned. He looked at Pansy who just shrugged. Suddenly, Ron dragged Draco forward, who looked embarrassed, but didn’t argue. Draco got to his knees in front of Pansy, mumbling something about losing Quidditch.
“Please, Pansy. Tell Dazai he’s smart, so that he-”
“Smarter than her!” Dazai piped in.
“Smarter than you.” Draco sighed. “So that he will train us.”
“This is pathetic.” Pansy said. “Get up, you’re a Malfoy!”
“I can't, until you say it.”
“But why do you- ugh! Fine!” Pansy turned to Dazai, a pained expression on her face. “Dazai, you are.. smaaarr- oh merlin I don’t think I can do this!”
“Wow. Maybe Draco should grovel at her feet and then she’ll say it.” Dazai suggested smugly.
“Just shut up!” Dazai zipped his mouth shut.
“You are smaaaarter than,” Pansy looked like she was going to throw up, “me. You are smarter than me!”
“Well shit.” Dazai was shocked.
“Thank you!” Draco shot up from the ground, obviously glad that he didn't have to beg anymore.
“You know what that means, boss!” Fred smirked.
“Why do you guys want him to train you anyway?” Pansy asked.
“Quidditch!” Ron said, Draco agreeing.
“Smarts!” Hermione cheered.
“Resourcefulness.” Blaise shrugged.
“Snakey is sneakier than even we are!” George said.
“We could use his training so that we can escape teachers- especially Snape's wrath!” Fred nodded.
“Those are all dumb reasons, but whatever.” Pansy shrugged.
“For the first time, I agree with Pansy.” Dazai groaned. “Well I guess we should pick a time to start training.”
Dazai didn't particularly want to train them, but it wasn't like he could say “oh yeah guys I can't train you because it will bring up reminders of my own training in the mafia that I legally can't nor want to put you through!” Instead he had to find a way to train them without using the more physical methods. Basically he was going to go easy on them.
-
Fun Fact: Apparently Dazai had miscalculated what easy meant. How was he supposed to know 600 push ups were too hard!?
The Hell's Hounds showed up at their meeting area earlier than he planned, excited to start their training. They started with some easy stretches, Dazai giving instructions. What they didn't expect was for Dazai's next instruction to be 600 push ups.
“You must be joking, mate!” Ron furrowed his eyebrows.
“He does take after his brothers!”
“He's definitely serious.” Blaise deadpanned.
“Dazai, don't you think that's too hard!?” Hermione asked.
“Uhhh no?” Dazai was confused. Normally his training was way more push ups and A LOT more kicking. “You were the ones who asked me to train you!”
The gang was shocked. How did Dazai think 600 push ups was easy? Wait. Does that mean Dazai can do 600 push ups?
“Okay then. If you don't want to do the push ups, you can each take turns dodging harmless spells.” Dazai said. Dodging harmless spells was nothing compared to dodging bullets.
“That's-!” Hermione started before Blaise stopped her.
“Alright we can do it.” Blaise nodded at everyone. “This is good practice for Quidditch anyway.”
“The spells are so fast though!” Ron complained.
“Exactly why I'm making you dodge them!” Dazai cheered, happy that someone agreed with his training method.
“Well if Snakey thinks it's a good idea then I do too!”
“I'll go first!” George volunteered.
Hermione sighed.
-
For the last few days, Dazai had been tiring the gang out. How he came up with the complicated training ideas was beyond them. Blaise and Draco were a little concerned. They knew Dazai was using his mafia training to train them, but the way Dazai had been acting implied that he was making it “easier” for them. They could only imagine how hard Dazai's training was.
However, Dazai's “easy” training was really paying off. They could feel their reaction time getting quicker and their mind becoming more aware.
Today was the day Dazai helped with their problem solving skills. Most problem solving in the mafia involved a gun, so he had to use some mind puzzles Mori always used on him.
“I want you all to solve this math problem in your head in 2 minutes while also memorizing the 25 digit number sequence I say in the background.”
“Okay I've kept quiet for way too long! This is practically impossible, Dazai!” Hermione exclaimed.
“It's not impossible. I wouldn't have made this one of my easiest trainings if it wasn't possible.” Dazai pointed out.
“If it's so easy for you, then do it right now.” Pansy said, occupying the couch in the gang room.
“Why are you even here?” Dazai asked.
“Why are you even here?” Pansy mocked with an annoying voice.
“Enough! Dazai it's impossible, end of discussion.” Hermione said.
“But it's not!”
“Then show us!” Pansy fake smiled, aggravated by Dazai's obvious cockiness.
“Fine!” Dazai had Hermione write a hard math question on the board and told Blaise to read the number sequence out loud for him. Blaise just nodded, not doubting Dazai's capabilities.
When Dazai turned back to the board, Fred started the timer and Dazai started doing the math. He had finished the math problem in 15 seconds, waiting for Blaise to finish the number sequence. When he was done he turned to everyone and quoted the entire sequence accurately. Everyone, except Blaise's, Jaws dropped.
“Oh yeah? You didn't solve the math I bet!” Pansy spluttered.
“Oh I did, it's 4. You can double check if you're smart enough.” Dazai turned to everyone's shocked faces. “See? It's possible.”
“Sorry but I don't think I'm doing that one, mate.” Ron finally spoke.
“Our Ronnikins isn't the brightest of the bunch.” Fred faked sympathy.
“Yeah- wait hey!” Ron started.
“I'll try then.” Hermione nodded.
“If you don't get it the first try then keep trying until you get it.” Dazai smiled.
“Alright.”