Chapter Ten
Remus POV
Panic was clawing in my chest. It felt like the wolf inside was eating its way through my stomach, tearing at the flesh. The November full moon was tonight. I had to get to the Hospital Wing, but it felt like I was dying. I would become a monster in a matter of hours.
Tears burned in my eyes as I opened the door closest to me and stumbled inside. I didn’t make it to a seat instead crashing against a desk and crumpling to the floor.
“I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go,” I whimpered into the darkness. “Please, don’t make me. Please.” The empty room gave no consultation. “It hurts. It hurts so bad.”
My mouth opened in a silent scream as I curled into a ball on the ground. I pressed my feverish forehead against the cool floor in an attempt to find comfort. I had assured James and Sirius that they could go to their Quidditch practice and that I could make it to Madam Pomfrey and then the Shrieking Shack by myself, but now I was regretting that decision. The thought of walking all the way to the Wing made me want to cry.
I didn’t know how long I laid there, waiting for strength that wasn’t coming. Just when I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d never rise again and I die here like a dog on the floor, the door opened. Panic gave me enough energy to pull myself to my knees. My breath came in short gasps. The logical part of my mind whispered panic attack.
“Remus?” The voice was soft and provided the comfort I needed. Nevertheless, I still couldn’t control my body. The figure knelt down next to me.
“Remus, hey, you’re okay.” The face swam into view. It was Lyla. My panic increased. She couldn’t know my secret. “You need to breathe, okay? Follow me breaths,” she ordered, but I couldn’t obey. I shook my head frantically, tears running freely down my face.
“Please,” I begged. Lyla reached out slowly and gently cupped my face in her hands. “Remus. Look at me.” Her voice was kind but held strength. Strength that I desperately needed. I met her eyes.
With my heightened senses I let myself focus on her. Her eyes were a sea of blue and green twisted together and her cheeks were a rosy pink revealing some emotion I didn’t have the energy to place. I inhaled, her scent of vanilla and coffee washing over me. My breaths slowed as I continued to pull in air.
“That’s it,” Lyla encouraged. “You’re safe.” But you’re not, a voice in my head hissed. Soon the monster would appear. Lyla leaned in my face, still in her soft hands, only inches from hers. I could drown in the sea of her eyes.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “We can’t.” I tried to explain. She couldn’t love a monster. “If you knew who I really was…” I trailed off.
“I know.” She said, her voice calm and gentle. “I know.”
“What?” My question was barely audible.
“I know you’re a werewolf.” I gasped her vanilla scent a punishment now.
“It’s okay,” she assured me, but it wasn’t. “I’ve known for years.” I looked at her in shock as she continued. “You are gone every full moon and come back with new scars. It wasn’t that hard to notice even though we’re not in the same year. You and your friends draw a lot of attention. I’m a Ravenclaw for a reason you know.” She smiled teasingly.
“You know?” I asked, incredulous.
“Yes.”
“And you’re still here?”
“Yes. I’m still here. And…” she trailed off the color in her cheeks growing more red. “And I have no desire to leave.”
She leaned in and I froze, trying not to scare her off. She slowly, carefully pressed her lips to my cheek right over the scar I’d gotten two months ago, the one that had me embarrassed for weeks. She leaned back, her eyes questioning.
“It’s that okay?” She asked.
“You don’t—hate me?”
“No,” she admitted. “Quite the opposite actually.”
“Oh,” I sat there for a moment. “Oh. Yes, um, yeah. It’s okay.”
Lyla leaned in again and kissed the same spot. She continued on, tracing the scar until its end. Then she started on the one above my eyebrow. I sat as still as a statue as she worked. With each press of her lips I felt myself relax more and more. Eventually she pulled away and I instinctively leaned forward, craving her warmth.
“I need to get you to the Hospital Wing,” Lyla said.
“Okay.” She helped me to my feet. I felt like a puppet, letting her lead me out of the room and through the corridors. We reached the Wing in what felt like just moments later, and she guided me inside.
Madam Pomfrey and Lyla were having some kind of conversation, but I couldn’t focus on what they were saying. My thoughts were a confused jumble of what had happened in the abandoned classroom.
“Remus,” Lyla was looking deep into my eyes. “Madam Pomfrey is going to take care of you, okay? I’ll be back tomorrow to see you. I promise.” She leaned in and wrapped me in a hug. Although I was at least a half a foot taller than her, I felt perfectly safe and protected in her arms.
“It’s going to be okay. I will be here tomorrow.” She pulled away, and I mourned the loss. Dazed, I was guided to a bed by Pomfrey, some pain killing potion poured down my throat.
“Get some sleep,” the matron kindly ordered. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”
I drifted off and dream of eagles soaring through the sky, headed for the heavens.
Iris POV
I walked down the halls on my way to Potions when Regulus jogged up and joined me. I was about to ask about the essay due today when I get a whiff of something. At first I was confused where it’s coming from but then a wicked grin spread across my face as I realized that the source is Regulus himself.
“Are you wearing cologne?” I accused, incredulously. “You never wear cologne!”
He blushed slightly, something he never did, and says quietly, “Do you have to yell?”
I thought forward to the day ahead but no important events were happening today. I gasped. “Regulus Black are you meeting a girl?” I exclaimed.
“What? Of course not,” he protested.
“Oh yes you are,” I said deviously, hanging on his arm. “Ooo, you’re going on a date! What’s her name? Do I know her? What’s she like? Or are you keeping her identity a secret?”
He looks down at me, exasperated. “You really think I have a girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I answer, simply. “Why else would you be wearing cologne?”
He scoffs, “It’ll be a miracle if I can find anyone to like me. I’m cold and unapproachable and rude."
“True,” I concede. “But you're also kind when no ones looking. And caring, and brilliantly smart, and hardworking, and a truly good person. You’ll meet someone who sees all that in you. And their personality will compliment yours and your two morals will align. And they won’t just love you but admire and respect you too. You’ll find someone, Reg. I know you will,” said certainly, as we continued strolling down the hall.
He looked at me hopefully. “That’s what you want?”
“Yes. I want someone who will be my friend and have my back for the rest of my life. I want it to be us against the world and, well, everything else I said before,” I trailed off. “I want that a lot,” I admitted.
He put his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way and said, “You’ll get it.” I lean my head on his shoulder as we walk and after a moment, smirk a bit.
He saw it and asked, “What are you smiling about?”
“I guess your cologne doesn’t smell that bad,” I said, and he let out an exasperated sigh. I bump him gently to show that I’m teasing and put my arm around him too.
When we get to Potions Regulus’s good mood continues as we sit down at our lab table. There was a pile of unknown rocks on the table from the class before us. As I brushed them out of our way, one of them rolled off the table and cracked on the ground. Regulus went to pick it up and it turned out to have a crystal interior. The dim light from the lanterns reflects off of the crystal.
“This rock is like me," Regulus said with mock seriousness. "Unassuming on the outside but a treasure within."
I snorted. "Except that you're not unassuming."
"What's that supposed to mean? That I'm vain?"
"No. Well, a little," I amended. Regulus faked offense.
"And you certainly have a presence. Plus your looks are definitely not unassuming."
His face turned devilish. "Are you saying I'm handsome?"
"No!" I exclaimed. Mel must have been getting to me. "That's what other people say, though."
"But you're not denying it," he said, studying my face curiously.
I tried to keep a neutral expression. Did I think Reg was handsome? The short answer was yes. As much as it annoyed me, some moments had me wondering how he could possibly look that good, especially when he was less put together. I liked the way I could look him in the eyes instead of down at him. And I liked the way he smiled, like it was only for me. "Don't let it go to your head," I said out loud, warningly.
He beamed at me. "Already too late."
Luckily, Professor Slughorn chose that moment to announce we were brewing Amortentia today. A challenging potion, but a fun one. After much struggle, and a lot of teamwork we finally finished our batch and were instructed to write down what we smelled.
"Smell anything at all?" I teased him.
"Ever stop smelling?" Regulus answered.
"I'm making my way through them. So far I have rain, old books, and chlorine, which I've always adored. Then a sunshiny earthy smell mixed with a hint of floral, which is what the commonroon smells like."
"The sun doesn't smell."
"No, but when the sunlight hits the earth it does. Then I have a leathery smell mixed with the sea. Not sure what that is yet," I say, adding it to my list. "Also, powder donuts."
Slughorn comes by and sees my list. "Ahh, I see you take delight in many things."
"I certainly do."
"And I see you have specific taste," he says, turning towards Regulus and spotting the two items he has written down. I try to see what they are, but he not so subtly rests his arm on top of the parchment.
"Yes, sir."
Just then, we hear a groan from a Ravenclaw across the room. Slughorn hurries towards her. "Jordan, did you have to put on so much cologne this morning? I can't smell anything over the stench!"
“I didn't put any on today,” the boy next to her says, blushing slightly. The room rumbles with playful mutters and catcalls as the girl and boy go equally red. I chuckle and grin at Regulus who is repressing a grin of his own. I went back to my list. Sunscreen. Butterbeer.
Regulus POV
I grinned as I made it to the second floor landing and hopped onto a staircase just as it started moving. All my elation from class, from Iris, and Amortentia instantly dissipated. My brother and his friends were on the staircase too, at the front, thank Merlin. I held extremely still, willing them not to see me. As the stairway connected they leapt off, laughing at top volume. I breathed a sigh of relief as I slipped into an alcove. Just hearing his voice, hearing his laugh made me want to disappear.
Suddenly my brain started replaying the first day of school after summer break. How I had seen him in the hallways with his stupid gang, acting all apologetic and buddy buddy, like everything would be fine with one sorry.
“Oh come on!” Sirius had said, throwing up his hands. “I get that you’re mad at me for going to James’s-“
I had spun on my heel, speaking in a deadly low voice, “You. Abandoned. Me. And I wasn’t mad. I was betrayed. I kept waiting, hour after hour thinking in just a few minutes my big brother would be back to get me. To bring me with. But after I had waited there on your bed, staring at the spot you had disapparated from for half of the night, my hope finally gave out and twisted into something more… motivational.
“I knew that if you ever spoke to me again I would take that deep seeded fury and twist it into every form of torture I know so you could for a moment feel a brief inkling if the pain I suffered through. I picked you. I stood up for you. And you just left me,” I had spat, practically growling.
I shoved the memory away. It wasn’t helpful. Nevertheless, a ghost if Sirius’s heartbroken faced floated before my eyes long into the night.