Chapter Five
Iris POV
I trudged through the snow that was coming down hard and fast, just as predicted. It was an early snow, especially since it was still October. I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea, but I just had to check on Suri and the rest of the herd to make sure they had gotten to their cave okay. The plan was to be quick; just get in and out.
It would have been impossible to know where I was going, so thick and swirling was the snow, had I not been down this exact path from the castle to the forest many, many times before. As I approached what I knew in my head was the edge of the forbidden forest, I noticed with alarm that there were shoe prints, already almost covered from the continuously falling snow, leading deeper into the Forest. They were much too small to be Hagrid's, who was the only person I would trust besides myself to navigate through a blizzard.
Suri and the herd completely forgotten, I hurried forward to follow the prints before they completely disappeared. They led me deeper and deeper into the heart of the forest until, distressed, I realized the trail had ended. I had to decide whether to continue looking for this missing student or go back myself. I glanced around and was just about to head back when something large and black barreled into me from out of nowhere.
My heart leapt into my throat and I was about to scream when I heard a familiar voice mutter, “Merlin’s beard!” in a raspy tone. With relief, I realized that the black form was a student dressed head to toe in his uniform.
“Regulus?” He looked horrible. His sharp face was red from wind burn and cold, and icy snow stuck to his hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows. “What are you doing here?” I hissed.
“Get away from me, mudblood,” he growled, stumbling back. He looked completely and utterly frozen. I ignored the insult, remembering suddenly that he was on prefect patrol by the forest Thursday and Friday mornings. He must have gotten lost in the blizzard, and no wonder. It was getting worse by the second. With a sinking feeling I realized that my own footprints, our map back to the castle, were gone. Maybe I had been too confident in my blizzard navigating skills. I shoved away the panicky feeling growing in me and tried to think rationally.
“Do you have your wand?” I asked him, wishing I had brought mine.
“What do you think?” he snarled. What a fine pair of wizards we made.
When I had reasoned out which was most likely the way back I said, “C’mon, let’s go,” and led the way through the white swirling mass.
It took me only a few strides to realize that Regulus was already falling behind. I glanced back and watched him stumble along at an agonizingly slow pace before dashing back to grab his arm and pull him along with me. The snow was almost up to our knees now and we stumbled more than once. We waded along in silence, our white breath disappearing into the mass around us.
My hands became numb first and without any gloves they were bright red. Then my toes. Then my nose started running uncontrollably. I wondered how long it took to get frostbite. Or to freeze to death. I wondered who would notice we had gone missing first. I wondered how long it would take for the snow to melt and for them to find our frozen, limp bodies. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking such things but my thought process was going in circles.
Finally, Regulus stumbled so much that he pitched forward into me and I only barely managed to keep him upright. His gray eyes met mine and instead of the anger I expected, I saw despair. He shook his head. I felt an unexpected burst of rage flare up inside of me. How dare he give up. And then, before I realized what I was doing, I slapped him. His eyes snapped to mine, shocked.
“I am getting out of this, and you are coming with me,” I hissed, glaring at him.
Then I slipped one of his arms across my shoulder, supporting him, and without another word we continued on. Even with the slow pace we were going at, I knew it had been too long. We should have been out into the clearing now, yet we were still passing by tree after frozen tree.
I had chosen the wrong way.
I refused to give in, though. After all, our only two choices were to keep going or lay down and freeze to death, and I was not going down without a fight. Regulus’s body weight made my back and shoulder ache but there was comfort in not being alone. Even if the boy I was in company with hated me for simply being born.
The white blanket in front of us was so thick it took me a few minutes to realize we were not being constantly scrapped in the face by needle covered branches. I tried to laugh but nothing came out of my frozen throat. We were going to make it. We wouldn’t die a premature death in the woods after all. I turned to Regulus to share the news but before I could get out a single word, he collapsed. I fell into the snow beside him.
“Oh no. Oh no no no. You are not going to die now,” I said desperately. I tried shaking him and lightly hitting his face. Nothing. “Get up you miserable boy!” I pleaded, feeling his pulse.
It was still there. I tried lifting him up but my upper arm strength was lacking and he was by no means light, especially with his robes soaked through. With no other ideas, I grasped the hood of his robes and pulled him on his back through the snow. The angle I was dragging him at kept his limp head lifted, but there was nothing I could do about the snow pilling on his shoulders and chest. I had no idea where I was going, absolutely no sense of direction. So it was purely by accident that I hit my foot on something hard and stumbled forward.
I tried to stop the tears that came springing to my eyes but I had to admit, it was so tempting just to lie there and not get back up. I considered the snow in front of me, then rapidly blinked to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. There was a plank of wood under the snow. No, not just a plank, a few stairs. I reached out through the pouring snow and my hand made contact with what I now realized was the door to Hagrid’s cabin.
I started cough-laughing deliriously, never having been so happy to see a door in my life. I hoisted myself up and leaned on the handle, relief washing over me when the door swung open. I stumbled around the dark cabin croaking out Hagrid’s name but my luck had run out. I guessed he had stayed at the castle in lieu of the blizzard warnings. A smart move.
I went back outside and dragged Regulus up the steps, trying to be careful about the bumps but at the same time not really caring. We had made it. I left him on the floor and shut the door on the cutting wind and snow. Then I grabbed the daily prophet off of Hagrid’s large wooden table, along with a pack of matches. I crumpled it up and lit it, along with the wooden planks, already in the fireplace.
It took me a great deal of effort to pull Regulus up onto Hagrid’s ginormous bed and with the warmth starting to emit from the fireplace, the exhaustion of the morning hit me like a ton of bricks. My body screamed at me to lay down but I knew if I left him like that he would catch something, if he hadn’t already. So, my body working on autopilot and my reluctant fingers fumbling along, I yanked off his soaked robes, shoes, socks, sweater, and tie. I was so exhausted that the realization that I was essentially ripping off a boy my age’s clothes in an abandoned cabin didn’t even embarrass me. By the time I got to his white button down shirt I had regained some of the feeling in my hands and somewhere in the back of my mind I registered the shaking and throbbing. By the third button, my cracked hands had started bleeding all over him. Finally I got the shirt and undershirt off and replaced it with one of Hagrid’s shirts I found lying around. Regulus was swimming in it.
I pulled up the comforter and meant to warm my hands by the fire before starting on myself but my body had finally reached its limit and I collapsed into a giant leather chair, falling asleep instantly.
Regulus POV
I woke up with no idea where I was. I blinked up at the exposed beams and wooden ceiling and felt an all encompassing sense of warmth. I heard crackling and turned to see a fire burning low, almost all of its wood eaten up. I sat up, and my right cheek started throbbing. I touched it gingerly, and then the whole morning came back to me in a blur.
Prefect duty. The woods. Iris somehow being there. Her fury; not when I called her a mudblood, but when I was giving up. I’d never seen her mad before. Not when I was rude, not when I was cruel, not when I was a complete jerk. That glare really was impressive. Then I remembered the never ending cold and everything going black. I lurched up, nearly tripping on the hem of my… T shirt? It was massive. Then I realized this must be that groundskeeper oaf’s hut. My clothes were strewn across the floor, blood staining some of them.
Panicking, I looked around for Iris and found her curled up in a chair by the fire. She was shivering and her lips were blue. My stomach turned as I saw her hands: red, cracked, and bloody. I felt her burning forehead and immediately leapt into action.
I threw on my still damp clothes as fast as I could, bundled her in one of the smaller blankets and scooped her up into my arms. Shoving the door open, I squinted in the bright sunlight that reflected off the mounds of snow. How long had it been? A day? Two? Luckily the snow had stopped and I could see the castle, clear as day. As fast as I could, which was not nearly fast enough, I waded through the snow and up the stone steps. The clock read five in the morning and it was a relief not to run into anyone. I burst into the hospital wing to find Pomfrey making the beds and I gently laid Iris down on one.
“She was out in the blizzard. I think she has a fever. And her hands…” I babbled, annoyed with myself at how desperate I sounded.
Pomphrey immediately sprang into action, fussing about and muttering to herself about the irresponsibility of kids these days. Before I knew what was happening, she had pushed me out the door and closed it behind me. I was tempted to go back in but I knew I would just be in the way. Instead, I slunk down to my dorm room, the adrenaline buzz wearing off. I was relieved to find my roommates still asleep, and snuck into the bathrooms for a hot shower and dry clothes.
As I let the water wash over me, I began to put the pieces together. She must have saved me after I blacked out. Somehow brought me to the hut and was still sensible enough to get me out of those freezing clothes. I felt a pang of guilt thinking about her bloodied hands. She must have helped me change even through the bleeding. And then what? Was too weak to help herself? Why hadn’t she started with herself? The more I thought about it, the more furious I became. I didn’t want her help, but somehow I had needed it. She was a mudblood. She had been raised by people who were ‘less than’. Less developed. Less powerful.
But she’s not, a voice in the back of my head whispered. I shoved it away. This was why Hogwarts, and the rest of the wizarding world, should be closed to all except pure bloods. The halfbloods and mudbloods had assimilated so much into the grain of our society that they had lulled us into a false sense of familiarity. It had taken six years for them to get to me, yet somehow they had. No matter. Repelling unwanted emotions was my specialty. I would move on and forget this day. After all, even dogs had moments of comfort and bravery. But that did not make them our equals. I made it all of the way out of the shower and into a fresh set of robes before the image of her hands popped into my head. Anger bubbled up in my stomach. I went out in the common room and read the first few paragraphs of my novel before her angry glare infiltrated my thoughts. I aimed my own glare out the windows. I made it to the doors of the Great Hall for breakfast before that determined, snow bitten face jumped to the center of my thoughts. I growled and spun on my heel, finally heading to the place I truly want to go, my appetite lost.
I bursted into the hospital wing and barked, “How is she?” I knew my respect was lacking but I needed to know.
Pomfrey narrowed her eyes and hissed, “Voice down, Mr Black.”
I raked my eyes across the room and saw that she had been moved to a different bed. She was sleeping peacefully, a cool rag across her forehead and an unfamiliar green goop on her hands. I paced over to her, but having no inclination to sit, furiously paced right back.
In a lower voice than before I growled, “How is she?”
“No visitors are allowed at this time, Mr Black.” I stood there smoldering, making it clear that if she thought for one second her command was going to have any effect at all, she was wrong. She seemed to think I was more trouble than I was worth because after a charged moment she sighed and said, “She’ll recover. She has a high fever, mild cold, and her hands are severely frostbitten. I’d say she’ll be out in two days at most.”
This knowledge should have eased some of the tension I was feeling but all I could think of was how mad I was. I simultaneously felt as if I would only be happy if she was completely back to her normal self, or if she was sure to be suffering for months.
“What are you doing about it?” I asked abruptly. Pomfrey looked taken aback.
“I’ve slathered lemon seed fairy secretion mixed with Cornish pixie saliva on her hands and placed a dragon berry juice infused towel on her forehead to bring down the fever. She’ll drink Eadlyn’s All Purpose Elixir when she wakes up every five hours on the hour until the cold is gone.”
“That’s not good enough,” I hissed, furious with myself for not being able to do anything. Furious with Pomfrey for no reason at all. Furious with the world in general. And mostly furious with Iris for getting mixed up with me.
“Young man-“ Pomfery had begun, incensed, but feeling eyes on me, I turned to find Iris sitting up in bed. I was going to kill her. I was going to scream at her to leave me alone until she listened and never even thought about coming near me again. She looked me up and down.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice laced with concern. And with that single sentence all my fury was gone. I was floored. How could she, the girl in the hospital bed with hands so damaged two more minutes in the cold would have frozen them off, be worried about me? It was astonishing and I couldn’t understand it a bit. How could she, a mudblood, be so selfless? I stood there, unable to speak. Her voice taking a more panicked edge, she turned to Pomfrey and repeated the question.
“Yes he’s fine, fine. As healthy as a disrespectful young man can be,” she said briskly, rearranging her pillows and pouring the elixir from its bottle into a shot glass. “Now drink.” She did, grimacing as it went down and then looked back at me, a little guiltily.
“What about his face?”
“I’ll heal it in a second. Not sure what that's from,” Pomfrey said, eyeing my red cheek.
“And he’s got no cold or fever?”
“Cold?” Pomfrey barked, staring daggers at me.
“He blacked out and collapsed in the snow storm,” she said, drily.
At this revelation, Pomfrey shoved me none too gently down onto a bed and began taking my temperature and looking into my eyes, scolding the whole time. “So, you bring in your friend-“
“We’re not friends-“ I interrupted, then wondered if that was true. Did surviving a life threatening situation automatically make two people friends?
“-But don’t mention a thing about yourself being with her. Not one single word. And then you just waltz out of here as if blacking out is a perfectly normal way to spend your Fridays. Not a single word. Honestly, you teenagers are constantly thinking too much of your perceived ‘toughness’. Blacking out! Merlin's beard.”
At this point she had finished her lecture and assessment and strictly commanded me to lay in bed until she released me. When she had disappeared into her office I walked over to Iris and stood there, not sure how to begin.
She looked at me, slightly amused, and finally said, “Yes?”
“How did you find me?” She looked away and began to tiredly massage her forehead with her hand before wincing and gently laying her hand back on the sheets. I had to tear my eyes away from the grotesque goop.
“I was going to check on…” she paused, hesitating.
“You don’t have to trust me,” I told her, and it was true. I had done absolutely nothing to earn it. Just because I trusted her, which just in that moment I realized I wholeheartedly did, didn’t mean the feeling had to be mutual.
She opened her mouth and told me anyway. “Dumbledore’s been letting Hagrid help me train a Thestral. It’s so I can get to my job at Hogsmeade quicker. I wanted to check on her and the rest of the heard which I now realize was stupid. And then I saw your tracks and, well…”
I nodded and swallowed.
“I um,” I cleared my throat and had to stare fixedly at the bedside lamp to deliver my message. “I’m sorry about Flourish and Blotts. The way I behaved was… unnecessary.” It cost me every bit of pride inside me to say it but I knew I had to. It was perhaps the only way I could move on from this mortifying incident. I realized I owed her now and wanted my conscience completely clear. And if I did occasionally feel a sting of remorse for my actions, no one had to know that.
When she didn’t immediately answer I glanced down at her. She was looking at me with an expectant face. “Anything else?”
I couldn’t believe her! Wasn’t one apology enough?
“And I’m sorry for giving up in the woods,” I growled reluctantly.
“Well it’s a start,” she said, eyeing me closely. “I’m not sure you mean it but at least you had the humility to spit it out.”
I glared at her but it was hard to keep it up when I remembered she was in a hospital bed because of me. After a moment of her analyzing me, which caused me to shift uncomfortably in my shoes, she held out her hand and said, “We’re even, okay?”
I knew from the look in her eye that I had her forgiveness; it was more than I deserved. For the first time, I truly was humbled by her grace, and I gently took the tips of her fingers and shook them with my head hung.
She leaned back into her pillow with a satisfied expression and I stood there next to her until Pomfrey came out to chain me to my bed.
Lyla POV
“Sometimes I feel like I’m nothing like my sister.” I was sitting on the stone floor, looking up at Helena. She tilted her head in response and I clarified. “I mean, we’re very similar. We like a lot of the same things. We have the same sense of humor. Besides our hair color, we look a lot alike. It’s just sometimes…” I trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
I was most certainly rattled by the news of my sister nearly freezing to death, but couldn’t help but think about the other person with her. Regulus Black. She had saved him. Would I have? Would I have chosen to follow those footprints into the snowy forest in search of a mystery person? I didn’t know, and it bothered me. After all, the last time I had seen Black I had attacked him.
“It’s just—my sister is the sun,” I finally explained. “She is bright and warm and necessary. She chases darkness away and keeps the cold at bay. Sometimes there are clouds or she burns you, but the majority of the time she’s there, a glowing ball of kindness. Sunshine in human form. I’m not that.”
“What are you then,” Helena asked, and I felt like her glassy, clear eyes could see straight into my soul.
“The moon,” I answered truthfully. I waited for the ghost to respond, but she only continued to examine me. “I don’t chase away darkness; I’m present in the night, only providing minimal light. I just reflect the sun’s brightness, a lesser force. I’m cold and distant and constantly going through phases. Sometimes I’m not even there.”
“If I recall correctly, and I am confident I do, the moon is always present,” the Grey Lady tossed her long hair over one shoulder. “It is only a matter of its position relative to the sun. That is entirely due to gravity which isn’t at all the moon's fault. There’s also something to be said about staying through the night. Not everyone had the courage to do that.”
The ghost turned away to look down the long, silent corridor, and I wondered what she was thinking about. “There is power in seeing the worst of someone and still loving them.”
I looked down at my hands. I wanted to do that, but could I afford to with all of the danger surrounding me? Yes, I decided. I most certainly could.
“Also the moon creates tides and waves. It’s used in astronomy and astrology. It shows passage of time and represents the unknown of space beyond earth,” Helena continued to list the moon's better qualities, but I found myself thinking back to Regulus.
A first-magnitude star in the constellation Leo, my brain supplied. Regulus was a star. Distant and unknown but when approached becomes as bright as the sun. Lonely. Underestimated. Mythicized. Special.
“There’s no need to thank me,” the Grey Lady was saying. “I’m just always right. I give the best advice.”
“You do, Helena,” I agreed, rising from the floor. “If you’ll excuse me now, I need to go make an apology.”
***
I found Regulus Black in the library. I approached him and peered over his shoulder at what he was reading. Dark Objects and Their Uses the title glared up at me. It was almost enough to get me to turn around then and there. I took a deep breath to steady myself.
“Regulus?” It came out as a question. The boy turned around, slamming the book closed and slipping it into his bag in one swift motion.
“What do you want?” His voice was cold and hard. I felling into the seat next to him, hoping it came across as bold and not the attempt to still my quaking legs that is was.
“I want to apologize,” I said, using all of my courage to maintain eye contact. Regulus’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry for hitting you. It was inappropriate, unnecessary, and very rude,” I was speaking in a rush. “Also, thank you for carrying my sister back. I misjudged you. I know your life is very hard, and I made it worse. I’m so sorry. But also you shouldn’t have called my sister that. But also I’m sorry. I hope you forgive me, and we can be…friends. So, um, yeah.” I finished lamely. Regulus continued to study me. I squirmed uncomfortably.
“Your name is Lyla,” he said after a pregnant pause.
“Yes,” I confirmed even though it wasn’t a question.
“I respect you,” Regulus admitted. He looked like he had just bit into a lemon, his faced scrunched in pain.
“Oh?” I couldn’t help my surprise.
“Don’t make me say it again,” Regulus warned. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I value your commitment to family and your bravery to protect them.” He sighed again and rolled his eyes. “I accept your apology, but not the offer to friendship.”
“Why not?” I pouted, unsure of why I was upset. “You’re friends with my sister.” It was Regulus’s turned to be surprise and my turn to roll my eyes.
“Weren’t not friends,” he insisted. Boys and their emotional constipation. Ridiculous.
“Fine,” I said. “I just don’t want to be afraid of you.” I snapped my teeth shut. Whoops, I probably shouldn’t have said that.
“It’s smart to be afraid,” Regulus said, leaning back in his seat.
“Why does everyone keep saying that!” I exclaimed, annoyed. “I think that it’s smarter to be brave. How are you going to life if you’re terrified of everything?”
“In order to live, you have to first survive,” Regulus retorted. “Let me give you some advice, Zemen. Fear keeps you alive. We’re at war. You need to watch your back.” I stared at him with wide eyes, but he continued. “Fear has help me become who I am, unflinching and perfect. My reputation is based on the fear of others and keeps me safe.”
“Okay Mr. Reputation,” I squinted at him. “It doesn’t sound like you’re living a lot.”
“Who said living is the goal?”
“Then what is?” Regulus didn’t answer.
“Look,” I leaned forward. “I know you have this whole facade to keep up, but it looks like you need someone in your corner. So, not friends, but just someone you don’t have to worry about stabbing you in the back when your guard is down. Sound like a deal, Mr. Rep?” I stuck out my hand. Regulus scowled at it for a moment before taking it, giving it one hard shake.
“Fine,” he relented. “But don’t call me that.” I stood up and grinned.
“See you around, Mr. Reputation.” I darted out of the library before he could murder me.
Iris POV
“And then in Transfiguration you just missed a lecture so I’ll leave you my notes to copy. I asked Liam about what you did in Potions and he said it was a demo so he’ll catch you up when you're feeling better,” Mel finished.
“Thanks, you’re the best.”
“I know,” she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder and grinning.
“And please thank everyone for all of the food, too. Honestly, I’m only staying here for another day, not six months!” I joked, gazing at my enormous stash of butter beers and fizzing whiz bees plus the mountain of different soups that Mel had made, just for me.
“Well, you know we all miss you. Even a day without being in your presence is a struggle,” she said in a dramatic voice. I rolled my eyes.
“I can’t believe I’m calling it this, but it’s nice to have some normal conversation.”
Mel glanced over at the now empty bed. “As opposed to Slytherin conversation I’m guessing?”
“Yep,” I agreed.
I was completely confused by Regulus’s behavior. He was in equal turns furious, agitated, calm, worried, and even repentant. To think that people always said girls were the ones with crazy mood swings. You don’t have to trust me, is what he’d said. It was because of that very sentence I decided I did.
“Well, hopefully I’ll be outta here by tonight,” I said.
“How are the hands?” Mel asked sympathetically.
I peeled back a bit of the nasty green stuff to reveal new, pink skin. “Much better, thanks.”
“Okay well I better get going. Lyla will be mad at me for cutting into her visiting time. I’ll send her in,” and with a wave, she was gone.