Regulus Black, Pandora Rosier, Evan Rosier, Dorcas Meadowes, and Barty Crouch Jr. were soulmates. Not in the romantic way, but in the way that they were bound to each other, destined to be in each other’s lives. If given the choice, Evan Rosier would not change a thing.
Evan, Pandora and Regulus had been friends since they could walk, seeing as Evan and Pandora were twins and Regulus lived down the road, they always found themselves sneaking out of their houses to see each other even if it was only for a couple minutes. Regulus liked to put on an act that he is shyer than he actually is, Regulus Black is one of the most sarcastic people Evan as ever met. He is shorter than Evan and Pandora, always dressed in expensive, Victorian looking clothes and he is paler than a ghost. Pandora and Evan looked quite similar, both the same caramel skin tone, both having deep brown eyes, the only differences between them was the length of their hair and the scar on Evan’s chin after falling out of a tree when he was nine.
The three of them had met Dorcas and Barty in their 1st year, on the train to Hogwarts, too many bodies pushing past each other to find a compartment to sit for the next couple hours.
The three of them held each other’s hands as Pandora led them through the swarm. She pulled Evan and Regulus to a compartment that sat a dark skinned girl with her hair braided into clean cornrow braids. She was already in a uniform and a green tie. The boy across from her was a pale kid with dark hair, he was picking at skin around his thumb nails and bouncing his left leg.
When they entered the cabin only the girl looked up at them.
“Hiya, sorry to bother you guys, all the other seats are full. Do you mind if us three sit?” Pandora asked, ever so politely.
The girl smiled at her and then looked at Evan and Regulus, “Yeah, come sit! My name is Dorcas Meadowes, I take it you are all first years?”
The three tumbled into the compartment, Pandora and Regulus sitting beside Dorcas Meadowes, leaving Evan to sit beside the boy.
“My name is Pandora! This,” opening her hand at Evan, “is my twin brother, Evan. And this is Regulus. And yes, we are all first years and very nervous.”
Evan tunes out the conversation that happens between Dorcas Meadowes, Pandora, and Regulus, shifting his attention onto the boy that hasn’t said a word.
The boy hasn’t looked up since the three barged in, Evan wonders if he even knows they are here.
“Hi, um- I’m Evan. What’s your name?” He asks, trying to get the boy to engage in conversation.
Still picking at his nails he looks up, eyes getting wider as he looks at Evan. The boy just stares at Evan, making him wonder if he accidentally entered a staring contest without trying to.
“You have a nice name.” Is all the boy says, almost whispering.
‘Well thanks, doesn’t answer my question though.’ Evan thinks to himself, still staring at this boy.
Evan is the first to look away, looking across at Pandora and Regulus, trying to see if one of them could help him in this awkward experience. Neither look at him, they are both starstruck by Dorcas as she shows them one of her books.
“I don’t like my name.” He hears from him left.
Looking back at the boy, Evan sees that the boy is still looking at him.
He lightly laughs, “I bet it can’t be that bad, I have probably heard worse.”
“I doubt it, mine is really bad.”
“Just tell me, I promise not to laugh.”
The boy bites the inside of his cheek, “Do you pinkie promise?”
Evan smiles, “I pinkie promise.” He answers, sticking out his pinkie to the boy.
They interlock their pinkies and smile at each other before the boy leans forward and cups Evan’s ear, “My name is Bartemius.”
Pulling back, Evan thinks that Bartemius was expecting him to be laughing, but he wasn’t.
“I told you, I knew I would have heard worse.” That is all Evan says.
Bartemius takes a couple of seconds to register what Evan said before smiling. Suddenly a third voice cuts in.
“Oh, so you got him to talk, did you? This bloke has clung to me since I found him roaming the train station alone and almost crying. Never told me his name though.” Dorcas speaks up.
“Maybe he is nicer than you are.” Bartemius says a bit louder than before, looking at Dorcas.
She laughs, hearty and confident, “That’s how it is then? After all I did for you?”
Evan laughs, Bartemius looks over at him again, obviously not wanting to say his name is the other in the group.
He thinks a moment before placing a hand on Bartemius’ shoulder, “His name is Barty.”
He looks over at Barty, looking for approval in what he told them, and finds Barty looking at him with a sparkle in his eyes and a wide smile on his face.
“I’m Regulus.”
“And I’m Pandora! Great, I'm glad we all have gotten an introduction out of the way, now we are best friends forever!”
~ Sometime in 6th year ~
A pillow to the head is not how he wanted to wake up this morning, especially on a Saturday.
“Regulus Black, I will kill you.” Evan says, his voice groggy.
“Why is it always me you insist is out to ruin your life, Rosier?” Regulus answers, sounding farther away than Evan knows his bed is, meaning he was in the washroom.
He yawns, still not sitting up, “Alright, well why are there random people in our room then?”
A new, yet not unfamiliar voice chimes up now, “Random! Evan Rosier! I have known you for how long and I am just, ‘Random People’?”
“Why didn’t you warn Barty would be here?”
“Sorry, he just barges in here.”
“We should really change our locks, yeah?”
“But then Pans and Cas wouldn’t be able to barge in and that wouldn’t be good.”
“Are you sure? I mean one loss means not having Barty whip a pillow at me at the ass crack of dawn.”
“Evan, it’s 11 am.”
“That’s what I said, no?”
“Well, this is fun!” Barty speaks up.
“Good thing literally no one invited you to be here.” Regulus answers.
“Evan said I am always welcome!”
“You really think I will have your back after you woke me up by throwing an object at my head?”
A pause.
“I love you?”
“Fuck yourself, Crouch.” Evan replies, finally getting out of bed to go to the washroom to brush his teeth.
“Awe, I’d rather you do it for me, Rosie.” Barty blows a kiss at Evan as he walks past him.
He flips Barty off back.
Regulus is still at the sink when Evan gets to the bathroom. He steps in front of the mirror, taking Regulus’ room in the small washroom.
“Yeah, cheers Evan. I was done anyway.” Regulus huffs, leaving the bathroom.
“Oh, perfect. I thought you might still need the sink and that this was going to be awkward.” Evan responds, wetting his toothbrush.
Barty is sat on one of the spare beds in the room. Apparently, in their first year, the school thought there was going to be more Slytherins sorted and therefore had empty rooms in the dungeons, and Evan and Regulus were the lucky two that managed to not have to share with anyone else.
“Well what are you up to today, dearest Regulus?” Barty asks, sitting crisscrossed on the bed that he claimed as his whenever he decides to sleep in the pair’s room.
Regulus is tying up his shoes as he huffs, “Well if you must know, I am going to the Quidditch Pitch.”
Barty looks over at Evan, and they share a look before Evan spits into the sink, Barty looks back at Regulus, eyeing him up and down, “Sorry mate, I don’t know if you bumped your head but that outfit isn’t quite what is deemed appropriate to play Quidditch.”
“Well then good thing I’m not playing then.”
“Yeah there’s that too, there isn’t a game until Monday anyway and it’s not even your team, it’s mine and Gryffindor.”
Evan laughs.
“Yes, thank you, detective.”
“In fact,” Barty says, getting up off the bed to pace around the room.
“The Pitch is used today for practice.”
Evan decides to pitch in now, “Yes, and Crouch, who is practicing today?”
Barty turns to face the bathroom, smirking at Evan, “Well Rosier, if my memory serves me right, which it always does,”
“Go on,” Evan says still in the bathroom engaged in the conversation now.
Turning back to face Regulus, “It’s Gryffindor who has practice today. But, my, Regulus Black? What interest do you have in attending a Gryffindor practice- unless it’s because James Po-” Barty is abruptly shut up by a pillow flying at his face.
“Die, Crouch.”
“Reggie, you wound me.”
“God I wish.” Regulus says before walking across the room to the door.
“Bye, lover boy!” Evan says loudly, not looking away from his reflection.
“Kill yourself, Rosier.” he says opening the door to Pandora and Dorcas stands on the other side.
“Hiya! Where are you off to all red in the face?” Pandora asks.
Evan and Barty break out into a joint fit of laughter.
Regulus sighs and looks at the girls in anger, “I’ll kill them. No one will find their bodies.”
“Okay, love. Okay.” Dorcas says, patting his shoulder and steps into the room.
“Barty, I am painting your nails today, right?” Pandora asks sitting down on the bed she and Dorcas share whenever they spend the night.
Evan watches as Barty’s head turns towards her so fast he is sure Barty got whiplash.
“Pandora. You cannot just say ‘right?’ at the end of a sentence as if it is something we agreed on and have talked about before this very moment.”
“Okay, let me rephrase myself,” She clears her throat, “Barty, I am painting your nails today, come here now.”
Evan snickers.
“Fine.” He sits across from the blonde girl letting her take his hand.
“I’m thinking a nice blue, I want them to look nice for your game on Monday.”
Evan is sitting on his bed with a book in front of him, trying (failing) to study for Herbology. Dorcas interrupts his thoughts by dropping a little bag onto his textbook as she sits in front of him.
“Cheers, Cas. I was reading that though.”
“Your dreads are boring me.” She opens the bag to reveal little gold charms and little crystals filling the bag.
“Gee thanks.”
“Oh, shut up. It’s not to insult you. I want to make them look prettier. Now move your stupid book.” She moved closer to him, grabbing the little pieces of jewelry and began adding them to different dreads on his head.
Minutes went by, Pandora and Barty were laughing and talking on the other bed while Evan listened to Dorcas talk about Quidditch while she meticulously put charms throughout Evan’s blond dreads.
“Okay, you are done, I have my book and I can show you my full plan for beating McKinnon on Friday.” Dorcas said, getting off the bed to grab her bag from the floor.
“You mean Gryffindor?” Evan smirked at her, also getting up to check his hair in the bathroom mirror.
Dorcas froze, “That’s what I said.” Glaring at Evan.
He laughed checking his hair, “It looks lovely, Cas. Thank you.”
He left the washroom and turned to face the bed the other two were sitting on, “What do you think?”
Pandora looked up from Barty’s hand, “Oh, Evie! You look so good!”
Evan stood waiting for Barty to turn around to look at him, he always wanted the other boy’s opinion. Evan has been by Barty’s side since meeting him, watching the other boy come out of his shell and explore his own life without worrying what his father thought of him. It took awhile, Barty grew up in a house that believed that he should only speak if spoken to, and that he is worthless. Barty was sorted into Ravenclaw, years later he expressed that he was upset to not be with Regulus and Evan but thankful because if he was sorted into Slytherin, he would most likely be disowned. Evan has never been to Barty’s house, none of them had. He had seen his father at the train station at the end of their first year, and watched as Barty flinched when his father raised his hand to check his watch. Since meeting Barty, Evan has watched him not care about his father’s opinion anymore, and acted how he wanted without fear anymore.
When Evan first got sorted into Slytherin, he immediately tried looking over at the Ravenclaw table to see how the boy would react, not his sister, not Regulus, but some boy he had met only a few hours ago. For some reason, he held Barty’s opinion higher than everyone else. Evan isn’t too sure why- no scratch that. He knows why.
Evan Rosier is in love with Barty Crouch Jr. Has been since he met him, probably.
Evan Rosier will also never tell the other boy this. Classic, huh. Well this is where it gets different. Evan knows that even if there was a chance Barty could like him back, it would literally not work out for them to be together. Barty and Evan are so different. Prime example; Barty is a bit of a slag. All his friends are okay with the fact he sleeps around (well not Evan so much), and he flirts with anything with two legs and a pulse honestly. The problem was that Evan had no interest in sex. Like, at all. He did it once before with his girlfriend last year, hated it, cried, got broken up with because he refused to have sex with her again, cried more and then never tried dating again. Evan hated himself for this, he didn’t understand what was wrong with him and couldn’t tell his friends because what if they hated him? Even if there was a small chance that Barty would ever reprecipitate the feelings, he would never ask Barty to give up something that he obviously enjoyed. But that's enough of his self loathing for a bit.
Barty turned around, his eyes growing wide as he looked up at Evan, “You look really good, Evan.”
Evan smiled and walked about to his bed, trying to conceal the blush he was growing on his cheeks.
When he got to his bed, Dorcas was sitting waiting, looking at him with a knowing look, she shut all the curtains around Evan’s bed.
“You look really good, Evan.” She whispered, impersonating Barty.
Evan put his face in his hands, “Shut the fuck up, Dorcas.”
“Evan, you have to tell him.”
“No, I think I would rather gouge my eyes out with a butter knife, thanks though.”
“But he obviously likes you too!” raising her voice a little.
Evan placed a hand over her mouth, “Will you quiet down, besides, it was a compliment, Cas. Nothing major.”
Swatting his hand away, “If it is ‘nothing major’ why are you blushing, Rosier?”
“Dorcas, drop it. I’ve never been more serious.”
“Fine.”
Suddenly a body came crashing through the curtains, landing directly onto Evan.
“Bartemius! We have spoken about intruding on other people’s conversations!” Pandora can be heard coming closer to the bed.
Barty is face down draped over Evan’s lap. Awesome. Just what he needed.
“Panda, I missed your better half. You know how pissy I get when Evan isn’t within my range of view for too long.” Barty said, turning around in Evan’s lap to look up at him.
“Hello, love.” He said reaching up to play with one of the crystals in Evan’s dreads.
Evan said nothing as he moved around a bit to get more comfortable, knowing Barty was going to be moving anytime soon.
A fact about Barty is that he is very clingy, not just towards Evan, but to all of their friends. He often has an arm draped around Pandora during supper, or kicks his legs up onto Dorcas’ legs while they are on the couches. He is more clingy towards Evan and Regulus though, mostly to bother Regulus however. But with Evan, it’s most likely because Evan will never turn him down, they share a blanket while watching Quidditch, walk too close together in the halls, and a recent development, Barty has been napping in Evan’s bed while the other is still occupying it. Pandora and Dorcas insist that it is a sign that Barty feels the same about Evan but he brushes it off because Barty is clingy with everyone.
He felt Dorcas and Pandora looking at him knowingly, he looked up to see them both wearing matching grins as they both started to gather their stuff and B-line to the door.
“Pans just reminded me that we have a study group to run off to, isn’t that right, Pandora.” Dorcas said, rushing to put her shoes on.
Pandora giggled as she shoved nail polish into her bag, “Oh, you are so right, Dorcas. We should probably leave for sure. Bye guys!” and she winked. Because she was evil.
Barty didn’t pay attention to the whole thing, he was drifting off in Evan’s lap, only moving millimeters to get more comfortable, but never separating himself from Evan.
“I’m tired, Evs.” He said, eyes closed.
Evan looked across the room at the clock beside Regulus’ bed. 3:41 pm. He looked back down at Barty before running his hand through the boy’s hair. WHY DID HE JUST DO THAT????
Retreating his hand he cleared his throat, “Take a nap then, Bee.”
Barty shifted in his spot before grunting, “Not comfy.”
Evan scoffed, “Oh well I’m sorry, you jumped onto me. Sorry I’m no pillow.” He pulled Barty to the top of the bed, letting him lay without Evan under him.
Evan felt himself get tired all of a sudden, shifting to lie down beside Barty, looking up at the ceiling, before getting overcome by sleep.
Who knew what time it was. Late? It was dark in the room when Evan opened his eyes. His chin was being tickled by, hair? Oh fuck. Evan looked down and Barty was sprawled on top of him, arms wrapped around him, their legs tangled together, the works. Evan was panicking.
He looked over to Regulus’ bed to see the other boy had still not returned. Looking at the clock as it read 7:12 pm. ‘Well we missed supper, I guess.’ Evan thought to himself, not that he was hungry, his stomach was doing flips currently.
Barty started to stir on top of him, so out of embarrassment, Evan pretended to still be asleep.
He felt the weight of the other boy lift off of him and heard the washroom door open and then close again. Deciding to sit up, he grabbed his book and tried to play it casual when Barty emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later.
“We missed dinner.” Barty said, stretching his arms up above is head, lifting his shirt, causing Evan’s eyes to wander down-
‘SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, LOOK THE FUCK UP??????????’
He cleared his throat, “We could always sneak into the kitchens if you are hungry?”
“Are you not hungry?” Barty walked over and collapsed onto the bed, right beside Evan.
Evan was trying so hard to focus on his book, “Nah, not really.”
He heard Barty sit up beside him and suddenly felt a hand on his forehead, “Evs, you feeling okay? You aren’t warm?”
Well the blush growing on his cheeks was not helping with that diagnosis.
Evan looked up from his book to find Barty looking right into his eyes immediately, “Yeah, I’m good Barty.”
They held eye contact, Barty still had his hand on Evan’s forehead, neither of them were breathing.
“Evan,” Is all Barty said, as he moved his hand down to the base of Evan’s neck, playing with one of the crystals now in the boy’s dreads. Still, he didn’t look away from Evan’ eyes.
Green meeting brown.
“Barty.” Evan said back, completely forgetting about the book in his lap, forgetting he was trying to be playing it cool right now.
Regretfully, he looked down at Barty’s lips, at the stud in the middle of his bottom lip that he and Dorcas had decided to get last year on summer holidays.
He quickly looked back up at Barty, wondering when this moment was going to end, when Barty was going to snap out of whatever haze he was in, when he’d pull away from Evan with an awkward laugh, or when he’d-
“Can I kiss you, Evan?”
Huh?
Evan died probably.
Because in no way was this real life and happening to him right now.
He squeezed his eyes together tightly before opening them to see Barty was still there, looking at him the way no one had ever looked at him before.
“What?” Is all he could respond with, causing Barty to smile.
“I said, Evan Rosier, can I kiss you?” As if he was asking Evan to pass the peanut butter.
Before he could really think of what would be an appropriate answer, Evan’s mouth had already decided his decision for him, “Yes, please.”
And suddenly Barty’s other hand was on Evan’s other cheek, thumbs lightly grazing his cheekbones as he lent closer into Evan’s space, both of them taking their first breaths in a while.
Evan closed his eyes and before long, soft lips met his own.
It was a gentle kiss, it was comforting and familiar. The slight coldness from Barty’s piercing was making Evan’s heart beat faster than it was currently going.
The kiss didn’t last anywhere near as long as Evan wanted, so when he felt Barty pull away he chased after his lips, meeting with more fierceness than seen before. He pushed the book out of his lap and moved on top of Barty’s lap, he brought his hands to Barty’s hair as the other boy smiled into the kiss moving his hands to Evan’s hips.
This was nothing Evan had ever experienced, even with his last girlfriend, he had not felt as happy as he did now.
The kiss had intensified, Barty had let out a soft hum which allowed Evan to slide his tongue into the other’s mouth, causing him to smile again against Evan’s lips.
And then, out of nowhere, everything changed.
‘What am I doing?’ Evan thought to himself as he pulled away from Barty’s warm mouth and pulled his hands out of his hair. He practically fell off the bed with how fast he got up.
“Oh my god what am I fucking doing?” He said out loud, turning away from Barty, pressing his hand to his lips.
“Hey, Evan, it’s okay.” Barty said, Evan could hear the bed shifting meaning the boy was getting up.
Evan turned to him, “What part of this is okay? This wasn’t supposed to happen, Barty.”
Barty was still sitting on the bed, cross legged now, looking at Evan confused.
“What are you talking about? Evan, breathe okay? It’s okay.”
“Barty, you weren’t supposed to kiss me! Why did you fucking kiss me?”
“Evan, love, you are smarter than this, I know you are. I kissed you because I like you? More than just a friend, I have probably loved you for years now.”
Evan just looked at Barty, not sure of what to say next. They stared at each other for far too long.
Barty spoke again, “Please, say something. Tell me to fuck off or something, the silence is killing me.”
Evan looked away, tears started welling in his eyes as he spoke, “You can’t be in love with me, Barty. It will never work between us. I love you, and you are my best friend. I can’t lose you.”
There was silence for a moment, before Barty sniffled, “Why wouldn’t we work? You just said you love me, I’m in love with you, we know everything about each other. Evan, I’d do anything for you.”
Evan looked up at Barty again, saw his best friend with red eyes and shaking hands speak again, “Please, Evan, just tell me what I need to do to be enough for you.”
Oh.
Evan hasn’t seen Barty see himself as not good enough since their third year when his father sent him an owl telling him how much of a disappointment he was out of the blue.
Evan’s heart broke as he sat on the bed across from Barty, reaching out to hold his hand, “Barty, hey, this isn’t about you not being enough for me,” A tear rolled down Evan’s cheek, “I can’t give you what you need. I will never have sex with you. Not now, not in a week, not in a year, not in 10 years. I cannot give that to you and I could never ask you to give that up. And before you say it’s okay and that we will make it work, really think about this. This is something you like to do and I would not be okay with you finding someone else to sleep with. And it’s a forever thing. And if you change your mind in a couple months and break up with me over this I will never recover. We can’t do this because I’m not good enough for you, Barty. Never, never the other way around.”
More tears fell from Evan’s eyes as he closed them, revealing something he had never told anyone. Something that he hated about himself, because he will never have Barty because of it.
A hand cupped his cheek as a thumb brushed his tears away, “Oh, Evan. Do you think I pay so little attention to you to not know even this about you?”
Evan froze, opening his eyes to see Barty looking at him with only love.
“What?”
“I see how you look when everyone talks about sex, I was there when Layla broke up with you and you lied to my face about it being that you guys grew apart because you told me while crying in my arms. Evan, I don’t need to have sex with you to love you, I was already doing that before even kissing you.”
Evan looked at Barty, slightly confused, “But you like sex, what about all those people before-”
“I haven’t slept with anyone since halfway through last year, when I thought about you and how much I need you I tested myself to see if I could go without sex because you matter more to me, Evan Rosier.”
Evan was at a loss for words, how could this boy be real? The boy who now knew everything about him still loved him the same regardless?
Without a word, Evan sprang at Barty wrapping the other boy in a hug. They hugged in silence for what felt like hours, Evan with his arms around Barty’s neck, face in the crevice of his shoulder and neck. Barty had his arms around Evan’s waist, rubbing small circles with his thumbs.
“Thank you.” Evan finally spoke, voice cracking.
Barty smiled and moved his hands from Evan’s waist to his cheeks, pulling him up to look at him, “I would do anything for you, Evan Rosier.”
And he kissed him again, full of love and compassion, a kiss between two people that knew everything about each other, who cared about each other so heavily. A kiss that was built on a relationship of understanding, of laughter, of love.