Chapter 12
“I won’t let you get me, you demon! I’ve got the high ground, and you’ll never get me from down there!” Draco’s voice was muffled by the door, and Hermione dug through her beaded bag as quickly as she could, looking for her keys. Had Crookshanks regressed? He had been doing so well, learning to live with Draco when they moved in together, and the other day she had even found Crooks snuggled up to Draco as he sat on the couch reading.
Hermione finally got the door open, whereupon she spotted Draco, standing on the armchair. Crooks was nowhere to be seen. “Draco? What are you doing up there?”
Draco sniffed. “I have been engaging in evasive maneuvers. You didn’t inform me that you brought home a floor demon, and since I didn’t know what kind of binding spell would be best to contain it, I decided the safest thing to do was wait until you came home.”
Hermione was utterly perplexed by this statement, as she didn’t see any evidence of a demon anywhere, just the neat, straight lines of a carpet freshly vacuumed by the— “Oh! Draco, it’s not a demon, it’s a robot vacuum! I told you this morning that I had bought one and was going to try it out today, didn’t I?”
“Er, I,” Draco looked askance at her, then muttered quickly, “I did hear you say that, but I don’t actually know what a robot vacuum is. I just…sort of assumed it was going to be some kind of sex toy you that we were going to try out tonight?”
Hermione felt the urge to bang her head against the nearest wall. Sometimes she forgot that Draco was so utterly clueless about Muggle things, and apparently the Robovac’s progress through the living room had been interpreted as aggressive advances. She supposed she should count herself lucky that he hadn’t blasted it to bits, considering how much she had paid for it. “Draco. I bought this robovac to clean up Crookshanks’ fur, since you complained about how much he sheds. It is not a sex toy. I know this might be hard for you to grasp, but not everything I do revolves around having sex with you.”
“Ah, but everything I do does revolve around having sex with you. I’ll have you know that while I was standing up here all afternoon, I thought of at least seven new positions I want to try with you. One of which makes use our conveniently cat-hair-free floor…”