Regulus Black was left alone after Sirius ran away in the middle of the night. He didn’t even a leave a note for his brother or a sign that he would come back. He just left without saying anything leaving him behind. The only thing he didn’t know that Sirius never had a choice. He had to go or he would have died that night. Walburga wanted him to officially join the Deatheaters but he refused. He got tortured for hours and he wouldn’t change his mind for anything. He was too stubborn to let his mother decide for him. So when he was left alone he ran away. He started running out of the mansion than he just kept running not looking back. Sirius only stopped when he reached the door to James Potter’s house. He knocked and then waited for minutes. Effie was the one to open the door and when she saw Sirius covered in bruises and blood she thought about what could have happened to him. Sirius was sat down on the couch in the living room waiting for Effie to come back and help him with the pain when James woke up and went down the stairs. When he saw his best friend, his brother, he started crying. Both of them cried for long minutes hugging each other. James’ first thought was that he’s dreaming and it was only a nightmare. He couldn’t stand seeing Sirius in that state. After Sirius got bandaged and stitched up they went back to James’ room but neither of them could sleep. They had to make a plan to get Regulus out of there as soon as possible. They wrote a letter to Remus who was then woken up by an owl knocking on his window. He apparated without thinking, appearing in James’ room to his best friend and boyfriend cuddling in bed trying to sleep. He went closer since neither of them noticed him and he ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair. He immediately opened his eyes that were filled with fear. When he saw Remus his eyes filled with tears basically jumping in his arms.
Regulus was alone in his room. He didn’t want to go out because he didn’t want to face his parents. He knew they would blame him for letting Sirius ran away even tho he had no idea. They were planning to go together and Regulus felt betrayed. His brother left him without saying anything. There was no sign of trying to communicate with him. His bedroom door was thrown open and Walburga burst in.
- That good for nothing blood traitor ran away and we can’t seem to locate him so he’s dead to us. Get yourself ready because the Dark Lord is furious and wants to make you a Deatheater tonight. If you try to disappoint us or try to run away just like that filthy mudblood than I can reassure you, you won’t get to see the sunlight ever again.
Then she left without letting Regulus speak or do anything. At least he got out. He thought to himself then tried to get up and do something useful.
It was the afternoon when James, Sirius and Remus finally managed to perfect their plan to get Regulus out and bring him home safely. They decided to let James go there alone and he’ll signal them when they have to apparate there and take them home because they all know that neither James or Regulus would be able to apparate by themself nor can they take anyone with them as they would be far too weak for that. Sirius agreed but there was a little sound at the back of his mind. He can’t let his best friend sacrifice himself because of them. He could get killed by anyone in that mansion and even the Dark Lord himself would be there to take care of him. They could kill him and it would be Sirius’ fault for letting him go there alone.
- I don’t think this is a good idea.
- What do you mean we talked this through it’s a good plan and you also agreed.
- I know but I don’t want you to go there.
- Sirius you can’t do this, you know that.
- No James, it’s dangerous.
- You can’t go back there, we all know that and even if you could neither me or Remus would let you go. Walburga is dangerous I know that and we know that it doesn’t matter who’s going because she’ll be using the crutiatus curse and I’m not letting you or Remus suffer you guys have enough pain in your lives as it is.
- But why you James?
- I just told you. I’m going because I love you and I care about you. Your brother needs help. He needs you, but you... we can’t help him if you’re not letting me do this for you.
- Yes, I get that. But why you?
- God Sirius, is it not obvious? Are you really that ignorant? Because I fucking love him, okay? There, I said it. Are you happy now? Can I go save him for once?
- Wh…, but I… he… wh…
- I didn’t want to tell you because I know you wouldn’t be happy and we talked about this years ago. I promised that you would be the most important person in my life which you are and it didn’t change a bit and I don’t think it’s ever gonna change. I knew you wouldn’t be happy that’s why I didn’t say anything. And you’re really important, far too important to me and I didn’t want to lose you, but he’s really important to me as well. I tried to not love him, but I can’t. I’m sorry if I let you down, I didn’t mean for this to happen and I understand if you’re disappointed in me. Be angry at me, but we don’t have much time so can you do that after this? I’ll get out of your way I promise but Regulus needs his brother. He needs you right now.
Sirius tried to say something but he was just too stunned to speak. Words couldn’t come out of his mouth and he didn’t even hear what James said to Remus after he was done talking to him. The next thing he knew that he wasn’t there. James left. Remus was looking at him.
- Moony do you think I’m a bad friend?
- What?
- James thinks I am.
- Why would you say that? You’re his best friend, and he’s yours.
- Then why? Why didn’t he tell me before?
- He was scared. He didn’t want to lose you because just as he said it himself you’re too important to him. He loves you, you guys are basically brothers at this point. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to lose either of you. He’s still scared but he told you anyway because he’s more afraid of not having another chance to tell you this.
- Scared? Was he scared of me?
- No, not scared of you. He was scared of losing you, that’s totally different. And you cannot think about this right now. Sirius look at me. We have something to do, do you remember? We have to save your little brother and this is our only chance so you have to pull yourself together.
- Okay, I’m sorry.
- No, no it’s okay. Listen to me. James said he’s sending a signal when we have to go and we have to be really quick about it because we have no idea about how much time we would have. When we get there, you take Regulus and you bring him back here. I’ll take care of James. If something comes up or someone sees us we can’t come back here. Where do we go then?
- The Shrieking Shack.
- Yes, the Shrieking Shack. Good job. Listen I know you’re scared but everything is going to be okay. We can do this, the plan is good we just have to stick to it okay?
- Okay.
- Come here. -said Remus then wrapped Sirius in his arms hugging him thight.
- I’m sorry.
- Don’t be. You guys are gonna sit down after everything calmed down and you’re gonna talk this thing through calmly and honestly.
- I don’t want to lose him.
- Then you won’t. He’s afraid of the same thing.
When James apparated to the Black mansion he found himself in a big library kinda room. He forgot to think about this little detail that he had no idea where he was and where would he have to go to find Regulus. He was starting to get anxoius about being late or something. He was walking down the hallway when someone knocked him out. When he woke up Walburga was standing in front of him. He was tied to a chair. His whole body was numb from pain, his face hurt and he tasted blood in his mouth. He was covered in bruises. The woman in front of him looked at him with disgust.
- James Potter. I’ve heard all about you but I didn’t think you would be this stupid. Coming into my house thinking you would smart enough to go around without me knowing. You should know better than to bother me when I’m angry. Now tell me. What are you doing here exactly?
- I’m taking Regulus with me.
- That’s cute. And why would you do that? Why do you think he would go with you in the first place? Does he like you or something?
- No he doesn’t. He actually hates me, but not as much as he hates this so called family, so I think I have a pretty good chance of getting him out.
- We’ll see about that.
She left the room. Little did James know that Regulus was just behind that door waiting for his mother. He didn’t know James was there. They started arguing about the ceremony that was about to start.
Meanwhile Sirius and Remus were freaking out about James not signaling them.
- Never, you can’t make me do that, nothing will make me join that fucking cult of yours. You can kill me cause you’re very much aware that crucio isn’t working for you anymore.
- Fine. -Regulus was stunned, he wasn’t expecting this response. -Bring him in. -she said.
Regulus’ face dropped. Bring who in? He knew his mother was crazy, like clinically crazy so he didn’t know what to expect. Then the door opened and a Deatheater dragged him in. He couldn’t believe his own two eyes. This was surely just a sick joke to make him change his mind. It can’t be James.
- What are you doing here? -he whispered to himself rather then ask it straight forward. -What is he doing here? -he yelled turning to his mother.
- Hi Reggie. -James said and smiled faintly. Regulus heart broke into pieces. He was covered in bruises, and there was blood on his face and his clothes.
- He’s gonna make you join.
- How? What the fuck are you talking about? – he couldn’t stop yelling. He was furious and James was just smiling painfully. Regulus couldn’t look at him.
- Careful with those words. Now you have two options.
- I don’ want options, let him go, or else.
- You think you scare me?
- I don’t give a fuck you’re fucking sick.
- Fine, you made your choice then. -she said and lifted her wand pointing it to James.
- NO! Wait, stop. I’ll do it. Don’t hurt him please. I’ll do anything just let him go and don’t hurt him. Please mother. I’m begging. I’m actually begging. Wasn’t this what you wanted all along?
- Now that’s a change. I told you he would make you.
Regulus wanted to curse out his mother once again but he was afraid that it would make her hurt James so he shut his mouth. James took a deep breath looking down to the ground shaking his head. That’s not how it was supposed to happen. The next thing he knew that he was in agonizing pain, he fell to the ground screaming, his whole body felt like it was on fire. He didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t expecting this kind of pain and he was about to die. He could faintly hear Regulus plead to his mother.
- NO! Stop it, you said you wouldn’t do it. That’s enough, don’t hurt him.
- Huh, you never begged like this for yourself.
She let go of James but his pain didn’t stop it was just slightly better but it was still the worst. He was rolling on the ground trying to stop the pain that’s eating him up, he couldn’t hear or sense anything his ear was ringing, he couldn’t open his eyes and his entire body was just dying.
- Now come on. -Walburga said.
- Let me help him. Please I want to stop it. I’ll do anything you ask me to after but please let me help him. I don’t want him in pain.
- If you don’t want him in pain then kill him.
- What?
- You said anything.
- No, not that. Please I’m begging you what more do you want from me?
- You have two minutes. -she said then she left the room.
Regulus rushed over to James. He turned him on his back trying to think about what to do. He’s never seen or experienced something like this, so he had no idea how he could help James.
- Jamie, look at me. Why are you here? What are you doing here?
- I came to rescue you. -he said but Regulus barely heard it.
- What? Why?
Suddenly Remus and Sirius appeared next to them kneeling down.
- Reggie, oh my God. Are you okay? -Sirius asked in a hurry.
- What? How? I don’t understand.
- James! Hey, do you hear me? -Remus tried to wake him, but James just fainted his body still tossing around like he has a nightmare, but it’s way worse than that.
- I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Mother did something and I can’t help him. What do I do? -Regulus said panicking, not knowing what’s happening and just overwhelmed by everything that’s happened.
- I’ll help him, I know how to stop it, but I can’t do it here. We have to go now. – Sirius said then grabbed Regulus by his arm and apparated to their secret house. That was plan B. Sirius and Remus took James and laid him on the bed, he was still suffering but Sirius started to use magic and it slowly stopped. Regulus was confused while Remus was worried, he held James’ hand while Sirius helped him. Sirius hated himself at the moment. His best friend was in pain because of him. It shouldn’t be James, he didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t deserve this. He put James in this position. While healing him he woke up and started screaming because of the pain he was feeling.
- It’s okay Prongs, I can help just please bare with me for a second. You’re safe now. -Sirius said while trying to keep his tears back.
After he managed to cure James and put him out of his misery he felt tired as hell. It took a lot of energy from him, but he didn’t mind at all. Sirius left the room and immediately started crying, Regulus went after him. Remus stayed with James, sitting beside him holding his hand and letting him rest. James fell asleep during the healing spells. He slept peacefully.
Sirius cried. After years he finally cried and his brother was with him, hugging and comforting him. He needed almost half an hour to calm down. Then Regulus asked him again.
- How did you manage to do that? What do you think will happen to us now?
The brothers talked through everything, not missing out a single detail about their lives for the future. Reg was gonna move in with the Potters along with his brother and he’ll be protected all the time, not leaving him alone for a minute. At school they would be around him, not letting him be by himself. An hour passed by and they went back to the room where James and Remus were, still holding each others hand. James was sleeping and Remus was resting his head on his other hand. When the door opened he lifted his head up to lock eyes with Sirius.
- Are you okay? -he asked worriedly. Sirius nodded.
- Is he gonna be okay when he wakes up? -Regulus asked looking at James.
- Yeah.
- Is he gonna remember?
- Everything.
- I don’t want that. I don’t want him to remember any of this, he shouldn’t know what crucio feels like. It’s my fault, I was the reason mother did that to him. I should’ve just let go and listened to her and than he wouldn’t have to suffer. I did that to him.
- Reg, you didn’t do anything.
- It wasn’t because of you Regulus, it was for you. James knew this would happen to him and he still went there. He wanted to save you. He wants to remember it. He has to, otherwise it was for nothing. -Remus spoke. This made Regulus even more confused.
- I don’t understand why he would do that.
- Then ask him when he wakes up.
- Lay down Reggie, you look tired. You should rest we don’t know when we can go home.
- But there’s only one bed.
- Nobody cares, just go to sleep.
He actually fell asleep really quickly which was unusual. Sirius was standing at the end of the bed watching his best friend and brother sleep next to each other with a sad look on his face. Remus looked at him and smiled.
- Come here. – he said softly reaching out to him.
Sirius sat on Remus’ lap his arms around his neck and Remus wrapping his arm around his waist. They stayed silent for a few minutes Remus gently rubbing his boyfriend’s waist with one hand the other still holding James’ hand.
- Hold his hand.
And Sirius did. He reached out to touch his best friend interlocking their fingers.
- You put a sleeping charm on him. -he realised.
- Yes I did.
- Why?
- Otherwise we would have left already also he needs actual rest not just casual sleep. This way when he wakes up you guys can talk, we don’t need to rush home. We’re safe here. -he kissed Sirius’ temple.
Minutes passed by and Sirius fell asleep while his face was buried in Remus’ neck, so Remus made the bed a little bigger and tucked his boyfriend in, next to James. He then layed behind him and pulled him closer by his waist. They were all so peaceful sleeping next to each other like a family. Everybody was tired and being so close to each other made them feel home. James was the first to wake up. After he realised he’s laying between the Black brothers he quickly got out of bed. He left the room then sat down on the ground and started to write a note for Sirius. Regulus woke up before he finished writing.
- Jamie. -he was startled by the raspy voice behind him and the nickname he gave him made his heart skip a beat. He never called him Jamie before. Actually noone ever called him that so that made it extra special. He turned his head toward the sound and met Regulus’ eyes.
- Hi. -he said softly. -Are you feeling okay?
- I should be the one asking that. But before that I want to say thank you. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be either dead or a Deatheater by now. So thank you, really.
- You don’t have to thank me.
- Yes, I do. Why did you do it anyway? I mean, you didn’t have to go through all that because of me.
- I wanted to. You’re important and I just couldn’t stand the fact that you’re alone in there not knowing anything about your brother. It must have been scary and confusing when you didn’t find him. I know you guys were planning to run away together. Also it wasn’t because of you. It was for you and your brother. You’re both important to me.
- What are you writing there?
- Nothing, it’s stupid.
Regulus peaked.
- You wanted to leave before we wake up?
James nodded after hesitating for a moment.
- Why?
- To leave space for Sirius.
- What do you mean?
- I have to keep a distance from him, cause he’s mad at me and I think he’s also very disappointed in me and I just think he would feel better if he didn’t find me here when he wakes up.
- What are you talking about? You basically saved my life, why would he be disappointed? Also he literally lives at your house and from now on it’s officially his home so are you expecting him to leave and live somewhere else?
- If he wants to. I obviously want him to stay with me but if he wants to leave I’d understand. That’s why I wanted to give him space so he can make a decision without me making him anxious about it.
- But I don’t understand. What could you possibly do that would make him leave you like this?
- Don’t worry about it.
James finished his letter and slipped it in Sirius’ pocket.
- Bye Reggie.
- No, I’m not letting you leave like this.
- Please, don’t make this harder for me.
- You can’t go. He’s gonna think he’s worthless in your eyes, he’ll feel awful. He’s gonna hate himself and feel like you don’t love him anymore and he’s gonna leave to make you feel better. He would lose himself. You don’t want any of this, you said it yourself.
-He needs space, He’s mad at me. This is a big deal. I fucked up and I have to make it right.
- What are you not telling me?
- God, Regulus just let me go. I don’t want to do something that I’d regret again. -he yelled.
Sirius and Remus woke up.
- James. -Sirius called out to him.
- Sorry, I’ll go.
Before either of them could do anything he left. James decided he needs a walk before he goes home to tell his mother what happened. When he went back home and got to his room he was surprised to see Sirius, Regulus and Remus. He wasn’t expecting them at all. He thought after everything all of them were mad at him.
- Sit down Prongs. -Remus said, then he turned to Sirius. -Would you like us to leave?
- No, you guys can stay.
- What’s going on? -James asked genuinly confused.
- Do you think I’m a bad friend?
- What? You? No, definitely not. Why would you ask that? You’re my best friend in the entire world.
- Then why did you have to leave like that? Twice? It made me feel like crap.
- I’m sorry Pads, I just wanted to give you space. I figured you don’t want to be around me after…
- After what?
- After I confessed.
- What could you possibly confess to my brother that would make him wanting to be apart from you? I still don’t get it. Honestly I think you could even murder somebody and he would still love you.
- It doesn’t matter. -James snapped at him.
Regulus was genuinly confused. Why would James save him if he hated him that much. Ever since he woke up he only yelled at him or was rude to him.
- Fine. -he said stepping out of the way.
- Prongs I’m not mad nor upset. I’m actually worried about you.
- You’re not mad?
-Why would I be?
- You know. We talked about that before and I didn’t keep my promise. I’m sorry.
- James that wasn’t a promise and I’m rather happy about it because I know you and, you know I trust you and everything, but…
- No, it stays between us, I’m not ready. Honestly I don’t think I ever will be.
- So are we good? -Sirius asked nervously.
- Yeah we are.
Before he could stand up to hug Sirius, he tackled him to the bed hugging him as thight as he could.
- Okay, I got it, I’m sorry, please don’t kill me I can’t breath.
- You deserve it after you left me behind with my stupid thoughts.
- You guys are ridicoulus. – Remus said with a smile across his face.
Regulus stayed quiet. James felt guilty. He was pushing Regulus away, just as he got a chance to be with him.
- Is Effie home? We didn’t dare to go downstairs without knowing where you are.
- Yea, she’s in the kitchen.
Sirius and Remus rushed down to say hi to her. They loved James’ mom as their own.
- Come on I’ll introduce you. -James said looking at Reg.
- Are you sure it’s okay?
- Totally, she’s gonna love you.
They went downstairs where Sirius was hugging Effie.
- Dear, I’m glad you’re okay now.
- Mom, this is Regulus Black.
- Hi Regulus, I’m happy to welcome you here. Please feel free to ask for anything, you’ll be safe here, I’m going to take good care of you. You can call me Effie, or mom if you want to, these boys always call me that, but if it’s uncomfortable for you, you don’t have to. Your room is upstairs next to Sirius’ since he’s spent most of their school breaks here he has his own room and you’ll have yours. It’s next to his because I figured you’d feel better if he was closer to you, but you can always choose another one. The boys will show you around. If you have a question or you can’t find something just let me know.
- O-okay, thank you very much.
- You’re welcome honey, oh and if James gives you a hard time just tell me, I know how annoying he can be.
- Mom, whose side are you on?
- I’m sure, he won’t. -Regulus said.
He said that because he was thinking about how angry James was when he spoke to him earlier and he’d rather just stay out of his way. He figured James isn’t really happy about him moving in as well and he didn’t want to cause any trouble. Even tho he wanted to be closer to him after everything that’s happened but if James doesn’t want that he’d respect it.
- Come on Reggie, I’ll show you where your room is. -Sirius said excitidly, then grabbed his hand and started dragging him upstairs, while Remus followed them with a huge smile on his face.
- What happened James? -Effie asked her son.
- Nothing, we’re okay now mom, don’t worry about it. We just didn’t have enough time to tell you because they wanted to do it tonight. I just couldn’t let that happen to Regulus or Sirius.
- Okay, I trust you but please tell me if something’s going on.
- I will. I’ll go check on them.
James didn’t want to tell his mother about the crucio and what happened at the Black mansion. It would be easier to both of them if she didn’t know. He went back to his room and layed down on the bed. It was starting to get really late, it was pitch dark outside.
- Boys get down and eat some dinner.
- Coming mom. -Sirius yelled. He loved having a mom, even if she wasn’t his birth mom, she was his real mom.
James stayed in bed. Remus knocked on his door and when he didn’t respond he just figured he’s already sleeping and didn’t want to bother him.
- Is James not coming?
- I think he’s sleeping.
Remus spent the night there with Sirius. James tried to sleep but he couldn’t. He wanted to talk to Regulus about his feelings but he knew Reg wouldn’t feel the same and didn’t want him to feel bad or awkard after rejecting him.
- Fuck me. – he wishpered.
Around three am he got out of bed and went downstairs. He wasn’t expecting he would meet anyone but when he got to the living room, Regulus was sitting on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest, his head resting on them. He didn’t notice James when he entered the room so he jumped a little when someone said hi out of nowhere.
- Hi. Sorry I just wasn’t expecting anyone.
- Neither did I. You can’t sleep?
- Not really, I’m still processing.
- But are you okay?
- I guess.
They went silent. James was struggling with his thoughts. He remembered the pain he felt at the Black mansion, the burning feeling he had to endure. He looked at Regulus and the pain got stronger. He knew Regulus went through way worse and imagining it made him feel like shit.
- Can I ask you something? -it was Regulus who finally broke the drowning silence.
- Shoot.
- Do you hate me?
- Why would you think that? Of course I don’t hate you Reggie. I really like you.
- You like me?
- I mean, well, no… not like that. -he tried to explain himself nervously. – I mean you know, I just like…
- Yea, okay. -Regulus felt dizzy. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. -Uh, I think I’m gonna head to bed. Good night.
Fuck it.
- Fuck, Reg wait.
- Yes?
James took a deep breath. There was no going back now.
- I lied. I don’t like you actually. I love you. And I mean it just like I said it. That’s what I didn’t want to tell you because I know you don’t feel the same and I just wanted to get it off my chest. I was gonna keep it to myself so you wouldn’t feel awkard after rejecting me, but you thinking that I hate you hurts really bad. So instead I tell you that I love you so fucking much I can’t even handle this feeling. You don’t have to say anything I’ll keep my distance from you I promise, I just don’t want you to think that I would hate you. I’m truly sorry about everything.
Regulus was stunned.
- Jamie, I’m…
- Please can you not say you’re sorry? I don’t want you to feel bad for me.
- That’s not what I wanted to say. Can you let me tell you what I wanted in the first place?
- I’m sorry. Go ahead.
- Jamie, I like you too, more than just a friend or a so called brother like you and Sirius. I actually liked you for quite some time now.
- Really?
- Yeah. When I saw you covered in bruises but still smiling at me like the idiot you are, I felt like my heart just got wrenched out. It was way worse to see you get tortured I honestly felt more pain to see that then receiving a crucio myself. I could have died then and there if I had to, to save you from that. And I hate the fact that you experienced that and know what crucio feels like. You didn’t deserve that.
Not saying a word James hugged Regulus, who hugged himback immediately. They just stood there enjoying each others warmth.
- Reggie can I kiss you?
Instead of answering Regulus stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to James’. After a few seconds they deepend the kiss. Minutes later they had to pull away to catch their breaths.
- Reggie.
- Jamie?
- You’re mine now. I’ll protect you. I’ll kill anyone that’s mean to you.
Regulus couldn’t help but laugh.
- What’s so funny?
- Nothing sorry it’s just, you said you’d kill anyone but when you see a spider you scream at the top of your lungs.
- That is so not true. – James said with a dramatic expression.
- Fine. -Regulus said then leaned in for another kiss.
- Reggie. -James pulled away.
- Hm?
- You’re my boyfriend from now on, right?
- Do you want me to be? -Regulus asked teasingly.
- Gosh yes.
- I’m your boyfriend. -he kissed him again. -And you’re mine.
- I’m all yours. I’m sorry for making you think I hate you.
- Shut up.
- Do you think you’ll be able to sleep now?
- I think so, but can I sleep in your room? I’m actually kinda scared alone, it’s just so new and different.
- Of course, anything for you love.
They went back to James’ room.
- I give you permission to dream about me tonight. -James whispered into Regulus’ ear.
- Weirdo. -Regulus mumbled then fell asleep, knowing he’s safe, because James Potter is hugging him thight and he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.