Change the Prophecy

Sirius starts laughing, a horrible noise, loud and manic.

“You’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking.”

James says nothing.

“James?” There’s desperation in Sirius’ voice. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Nearly seven years of friendship, about to come crashing down in a matter of minutes. James hates this. A part of him wants to play it off as a joke, another part of him wants to get down on his knees and beg for Sirius’ forgiveness. James does neither of those things, he stays where he is, tries to reconcile with the fact that the truth had to come out sooner rather than later and he wants Sirius to hear it from him. He owes him that at least. James lifts his head, watches the despair that floods Sirius’ face at his silence, the sick realisation that’s dawning in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Sirius.”

They sit there, staring wordlessly at one another, for the first time in the entirety of their friendship, neither of them know what to say to the other.

Finally Sirius speaks. “You wouldn’t…James, you wouldn’t do this. This isn’t you.”

James takes in a shaky breath. I wish this wasn’t me, he thinks, but for a little while, this is who I’m going to have to be, the type of person who hurts their best friend, the type of person who lies and disappoints those closest to him. I’m sorry, Sirius. You deserve better than this. All of you do.

He doesn’t deny it, instead he leans forwards, wishes with everything in him that he could tell Sirius the truth but instead he settles for this. “And now you know, why I can’t give up on him.”

Sirius stands, begins pacing frantically, his fists clenched at his sides. Betrayal and disbelief quickly turning to anger. “Merlin this is so like him. He’s done this to spite me.”

At those words, James’ blood runs cold. “What?”

“This! Getting with you! He wants to take something important away from me just to prove that he can.” Sirius spins on his heel and when he faces James, there’s a mad look in his eyes. “James, you need to end it with him. I mean it, right now.”

If only Sirius knew how prepared Regulus had been to let James go.

James swallows, shakes his head. “No.”

“He’s got his claws into you, fucked with your head.” Sirius clutches his temples with shaking hands, breaths raggedly through his mouth. “I should have never let you be alone with him, I know how manipulative he can be-”

“Sirius, Regulus didn’t use the imperius cure on me, he didn’t coerce me or manipulate me.” James reaches forward, he isn’t sure why, doesn’t know whether he does it to try and comfort Sirius or to comfort himself. “I cared about him long before he cared about me.”

Sirius recoils from him. “Don’t say his fucking name in front of me.” He tilts his head back, like he’s looking up at the stars, the ones that his family are named after, like he can find all the answers he’s seeking there. When he speaks his voice is ragged. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Sirius, I’m as much to blame as he is.”

“Trust me, I know. And I am so fucking angry at you but you’re not like him, James. You’re good. Too good. You always try to see the best in everyone, even Regulus.” Sirius’ eyes are pleading, he’s giving him a way out, even now, even after this. It breaks James’ heart. “You’ve made a mistake but you can make this right.”

“I’m not abandoning him.” James closes his eyes, tries to prepare himself for what he’s about to say next, what will undoubtedly be the final nail in the coffin of their friendship. “Not like you did.”

Sirius is in his face in an instant, pulling him up by the collar of his shirt, enraged. James watches as Sirius lifts his fist, draws it back, they both watch the way it shakes, the way it eventually falls.

“This is exactly what I mean. He’s got into your head. The James I know, the James I love, would never say something like that because it’s not true and you know it.” Sirius shakes his head. “You were the one who taught me that.”

Sirius is right, of course. James would never say that, because he doesn’t believe it for one second. Sirius has never given up on Regulus, no matter how much he denies it, even when caring about him was at his own detriment.

When Sirius left it was because he finally put himself first. James was the one who told him that, over and over again, until he believed it. When Sirius left and never looked back, never answered a single owl from them, it was because James had told him that he was never going to get closure from his family, that he had to create it for himself.

Regulus was never part of that equation, however.

This whole time, Sirius has been desperately waiting for Regulus to do the right thing. It’s why he let Regulus come to the Potters week after week, never challenged James or his parents on it. Sirius wanted Regulus there because he really did believe it would make a difference.

And it did.

It made all the difference in the world but Sirius can’t know that yet because Evan and Barty told James that he has to sell this, he has to make it believable. So he continues to drag all that bitter history up, forces those poisonous words out of his mouth.

“He needs someone, Sirius. Like you needed me.”

Sirius’ eyes are incredibly sad and full of pity. He’s still gripping James’ collar like if he lets go, he really has lost him. “You can’t change him, James. If that’s what you think you’re doing by staying with him. People change themselves, the only person capable of saving Regulus is Regulus.”

“You’re right, we can’t change people. But we can believe in them, Sirius, we can love them.”

If only you knew, Sirius. Regulus doesn’t need to change, James thinks, his heart squeezing in his chest. But he does need someone to believe he’s good, that he’s capable of doing good. I don’t think he’ll get out of this alive otherwise.

James thinks of his current situation, how one day he won’t be remembered solely for the choices he’s about to make but the outcome he reached by doing so. It’s the only comfort he has in all of this. “My mum used to say something to me, when I messed up, when I wanted to be better.” He traces Sirius’ face with his eyes, commits every inch of him to memory, urges him to understand the secret message in his words. “We can be what we do, not just what we did.”

Slowly, Sirius lets him go, pulls away and puts distance between them. It feels like the beginning of the end. “I’m pretty sure Effie wouldn’t want her words to be used to justify the actions of a Death Eater. He’s going to take the dark mark, James. If what you’re saying is true and the choices we’re going to make shape us just as much as the ones we made in the past, what does it say about Regulus that he’s going to make the wrong choice, again?”

James stays silent, watches the way Sirius’ mouth goes slack, the way the colour drains from his face. “Are you stupid enough to believe you can stop him or are you really that blinded by him? Will you still think there’s something decent and good in there once he’s permanently branded by Voldemort?”

Again, James says nothing. There’s nothing he can say, what’s he supposed to do, tell Sirius that it’s too late for that? That Regulus already has and James has stuck beside him, not for the reasons that Sirius thinks, not that any of that matters anyway?

“James, please go.” When James doesn’t move, Sirius raises his voice, doesn’t try to hide the way it shakes. “I mean it, James. Go, before I do something I regret.”

And so James leaves, heart heavy and full of misery. He wants to look back at his best friend but he knows he can’t, it’ll be the undoing of him. It’s only when the portrait hole shuts behind him that he finally lets the unshed tears fall.

In the common room, Sirius sweeps books, a chess board and numerous sheets of parchment off of the table closest to him in a fit of rage. He feels the angry spark of his magic buzzing under his skin and so he lets it go, watching the way the fire in the grate rises exponentially, the flames licking the walls of the chimney. The clock on the wall begins to chime, over and over again and the lights begin to flash, on and off, blazingly bright then so dark that the room becomes dim.

He watches the chaos unfolding around him for a moment and battles against the urge to lose himself in it.

Just as quickly as it started, Sirius throws out an arm and it stops.

He drops to his knees in the middle of the room and watches the flames turn to nothing in the fireplace, leaving only ash and acrid smoke behind.

—

Regulus bolts up in bed, torn from sleep and immediately unsettled. He hadn’t been dreaming, no noise had woken him but he can feel his magic, calling to him, warning him of danger close by.

He waits for a minute, is just about to settle down again after sensing no immediate threat when he hears the sound of a quiet knock at the door. He peers into the darkness of the room, waits for his eyes to adjust and checks Barty and Evan’s beds, finds them there, asleep.

Quietly he slips out of bed. He’s certain that no one who wanted to harm them would knock but he grabs his wand just in case, holds it out in front of him as he unlocks the door.

James is stood there, looking so incredibly small and lost that Regulus’ wand hand falters. With his free hand he pulls him inside, casts a silencing charm around them so as not to wake his friends and then chucks his wand on his bed behind him so that he can grab James by the shoulders.

“James? What’s wrong?” Despite the fact that his voice is calm and level, Regulus is on high alert. This must have been what had woken him, the feeling that something had happened to James.

“It’s Sirius. He knows.”

Regulus stills, tries to imperceptibly check James for any sign of a physical altercation. He doesn’t think Sirius would pull something like that but Regulus has an inherent distrust of people and so he has to be certain. James’ clothes aren’t mussed, his hair is no untidier than usual and Regulus can’t find any rapidly forming bruises. Good, Sirius will live to see another day.

“Fuck.” Regulus says softly. He looks at James, the red eyes, the downturned mouth, the devastation written all over his face. “I take it, it didn’t go well?”

“This is your brother we’re talking about.” James says, inching closer. Regulus can tell he’s desperate for comfort and physical contact and so he relents, despite the agitation deep in his bones. It’s nothing to do with James, or his presence, more so the fact that his magic is still pulled tight under his skin, like an elastic band ready to snap at any moment. It’s probably an echo of Sirius’ frustration, Regulus realises. He recognises the feel of it, how Grimmauld Place used to feel after one of Sirius’ outbursts, the atmosphere charged and electric, the way the air feels before a thunderstorm. Despite all of that, Regulus pulls him in, feels the way James relaxes against him and tries to push the answering call of his own magic down, down, down.

“I’m sorry. I know how difficult that must have been for you.” James burrows his head further into Regulus’ shoulder, his glasses digging in but Regulus doesn’t say anything, just lifts a hesitant hand to card through his hair.

Regulus doesn’t know how to comfort him, doesn’t know how to be the reassuring presence that Sirius always has been for James. He suddenly feels like he’s fifteen again and irrevocably inadequate to his brother when it comes to his parents but most importantly, when it comes to James.

“It had to be done.” James suddenly pulls away, begins toeing out of his shoes and chucking them under Regulus’ bed. “Do you think he’ll forgive me? He was so…” He trails off, waves a hand in the air in a so-so gesture.

“Angry? Furious? Murderous?” Regulus suggests as he watches confused as James begins to pull off his socks, his trousers and his shirt and tie. He roughly folds them and chucks them on top of Regulus’ trunk at the foot of his bed, leaving him in only his boxers.

James huffs out a laugh. “At you, maybe. No, he was disappointed in me.” He pauses on his way to Regulus’ wardrobe, tries to recover but his fingers shake as they brush against one of the old, soft tees hanging up. “I think it was worse, the disappointment. I could deal with his anger, it would’ve made it easier but the way he looked at me, it’ll stay with me for a long time, I think.”

James pulls on Regulus’ shirt and it warms Regulus a little, that he didn’t feel the need to ask, that he knew it was okay to take. As far as James is concerned, he can take whatever he wants from Regulus, all of it is his anyway.

“He’ll forgive you.” Regulus says gently, coming to sit on the edge of his bed, he knows as he says it that it’s true. “Sirius is stubborn but he’ll see sense, he always will when it comes to you.”

“And you, Reg?” James asks, coming to sit beside Regulus on his bed. “Do you think he’ll forgive you?”

Regulus tilts his head as he contemplates that question. He’d like to think that his brother would forgive him, in time. He thinks he will when the truth comes out about Regulus’ real motivations for joining the Death Eaters. There’s one thing he doesn’t think Sirius will ever forgive however, and that’s Regulus taking James away from him. Regulus has done something unforgivable, taken the one thing Sirius had claimed as his, James was his best friend, his family, his brother, the one he chose, not the one he was forced to share a face and a last name with.

Eventually, he shrugs. “Maybe.” He nudges James with his elbow in a bid to change the topic. “Have you claimed my room as yours for the night then?”

James sends him an affronted look. “You basically got me into this mess, the least you can do is give me a place to stay tonight.”

Regulus pulls a face at him as he pulls back the covers, and settles in, holding a corner up in an invitation for James to get inside. “Don’t you dare put this on me. You were the one who made the first move, remember? Make sure you tell Sirius that, when all of this is over and the pair of you are back on speaking terms. He might want to kill me a tiny bit less after hearing that.”

James snorts as he climbs in beside him. He pulls the curtains shut around them, enveloping them in darkness. “No thanks, I already took one for the team by telling him about us.”

“It was a necessary evil. You wanted to be part of this suicide mission anyway, so you’ll get no sympathy from me.” Despite his sardonic tone, Regulus pulls James against him, presses a kiss to his forehead. “But you still need to talk to your parents about all of this, James.”

James is quiet for a moment, idly tracing patterns on Regulus’ bare arm, the one free of any ink. Regulus wishes his finger would leave a trail of ink behind, he knows that whatever mindless thing he’s drawing would be exponentially more important to Regulus than the tattoo on his other arm.

“And if my parents say no?”

It’s difficult because there’s a part of Regulus that hopes they will say no, so that James is kept faraway from the evil that’s taken up residence in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. There is however, a part of him that selfishly wants James next to him, where he can keep him safe. Those two sides of him have been at war with one another these past couple of weeks with no winner in sight.

“Then you tell Sirius we’re done, that I got the dark mark tattooed on me and you’re going to have nothing more to do with me. You’ll beg for his forgiveness, tell him you weren’t thinking straight. You’ll join the Order and you’ll do your best to stay out of trouble and when this war comes to an end, maybe you can put in a good word to Sirius for me.”

James’ reply is instantaneous, he barely lets Regulus finish before he speaks. “They’re going to say yes, Regulus. I know it.”

Curiosity gets the better of him. “What makes you say that?”

When he speaks, James’ voice is full of conviction. “Because they’ll understand how important this is. How important getting you out of there whole and alive is to me.” James lifts his head from where it’s resting on Regulus’ shoulder to look up at him. “You’re the only person I’d do this for, you know.”

A ghost of a smile flickers on Regulus’ face at that confession. It’s interesting to Regulus, that despite how different the four of them are, how closely their motivations match up. They all want to do this for the people they care about.

For a long time Regulus doesn’t say anything, just listens to the quiet sound of James’ breathing, the steady rise and fall of it. Eventually he grabs his wand from where it’s tangled in the blankets and removes the silencing spell. “Get some sleep, James.” He murmurs. “You’ll need it. Tomorrow is going to be difficult.”

It takes James a little while to settle, he’s unhappy, the events of today catching up with him. When he eventually succumbs to sleep, he spends most of the night tossing and turning, his brow creased.

Regulus doesn’t take his own advice. Instead, he sits up against the headboard, until the sun begins to rise, deep in thought.

—

James wakes to an empty bed and Barty Crouch Jr leaning over him.

“What the hell!?” He splutters, squinting up at a blurry Barty with bleary eyes.

Barty leans against the bedpost closest to James, an indecent look on his face. “Good morning to you too, Potter. Did you get lost on your way to Gryffindor tower last night? Slipped and fell into Regulus’ bed?” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Bit rude of you not to say hello, unless you were preoccupied doing something else...”

James forces down the urge to strangle him. “When I got here you were passed out drooling all over your pillow, would’ve been a bit difficult to exchange pleasantries with you like that.” James says as he grabs his glasses’ off of Regulus’ bedside cabinet.

“Probably dreaming of you.” Barty says cheerfully. “And all of the things I’d do to you if you’d just give me half a chance.”

Evan scowls from where he’s carelessly stuffing textbooks into his bag. “He’s not joking either.” James is surprised by the heat in his voice. He watches Barty grin and stick out his tongue in response but it lacks their usual playfulness.

Regulus appears in the doorway of the bathroom, his shirt half buttoned and his tie hanging round his neck. “Morning.” He says as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary occurring in their room this morning. He joins James on the bed, elbowing Barty out of the way so he can pull on his shoes. Barty huffs at Regulus’ clear dismissal and turns towards Evan’s bed, as if he’s going to sit there. At the last minute he seems to change his mind, perching on the edge of his own trunk instead.

Barty and Evan are clearly waiting for an explanation, when they don’t get one, the pair of them exchange confused looks. Regulus ignores them, finishes lacing up his shoes and then straightens to deftly tie his tie. Only when he’s done does he finally look up and speak. “Sirius knows about James and I. It’s time to set things in motion.”

The confusion on Evan’s face evaporates, concern replacing it immediately. He sends James a sympathetic look. “You okay? Bet that was dreadful.”

“Slight underestimation there.” James comments dryly, he doesn’t have any clothes on him apart from what he was wearing last night so he begins to pull them on, ignoring the wolf whistle from Barty when he pulls off Regulus’ top to replace it with his own.

“Okay, so James is officially one of us now?” Evan asks.

Regulus nods, seemingly unperturbed by the topic of conversation and subsequently, the repercussions that they’re about to face. “Yes, which means we need to prepare ourselves for the backlash we’re going to get from his friends. They’re not going to like it and we need to make it clear that he’s with us and that, that isn’t changing anytime soon.”

“Do you think Sirius will come looking for a fight?” Barty says, he doesn’t seem overly bothered if that’s the case.

James ducks his head and tries to ignore the way his stomach ties itself in knots at the mention of his best friend.

Regulus grabs his wand, tucking it into his robes. “If it’s me he’s looking for?” He smiles. “Most definitely.”

Barty hums thoughtfully. “James, first chance you get, you need to get rid of that map.”

James scrunches his nose, pretends he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “What map?”

With a long-suffering sigh, Barty rests his chin on the heel of his hand. “The misfit’s map? The one with the stupid names? You know, the one that you and your friends use to spy on us and the rest of the student population?”

At this revelation, James sends Regulus a betrayed look. He only gets an unconcerned shrug in return.

“To be fair to Regulus,” Evan says, his eyes bright with amusement at their exchange. “He only told us recently, when he thought it was necessary for us to know about it.”

Regulus nods in agreement. “Sirius being able to see where we are at all times isn’t exactly a good thing and it’s not like he’s going to hand it over to you for safe-keeping anytime soon.” He pauses, thinks for a moment. “You need Filch to confiscate it.”

That earns Regulus an immediate sound of disapproval from Barty. “No, they’ll just break into his office and steal it back. Why not hide it in the Room of Requirement? They’ll never find it in there.”

It’s not a terrible idea but James hates the thought of their map, a labour of love, being forever lost to time. “It’s true. I didn’t know it existed until you told me, Barty, so they won’t know where to look for it.” James frowns. “It seems a shame though, for all that work to go to waste. I’d rather it ended up in Filch’s office and some kids ten years from now find it and make good use of it.”

Regulus rolls his eyes at that, he’s never understood James’ penchant for mischief. “I don’t care what happens to it, we just need it gone.”

After a brief pause, Regulus speaks again, his voice somber. “I’m expecting Sirius to confront me at some point today but it’s likely we’ll all be targets. If any of the Gryffindors stop you, start to argue with you, argue back with them, loudly and preferably in front of a crowd but if at any point it looks like it’s going to get physical, you don’t engage.” Regulus sends a warning look to Barty and Evan. “We need to sell it, in case word gets back to Voldemort but we don’t take things too far.”

When Barty speaks, it’s the most serious James has ever heard him. “Got it.”

Evan comes to his feet, is quickly followed by Barty. “Shall we head to breakfast then? Show our faces and get the big reveal over and done with?”

Regulus turns to James, leaving the decision in his hands. James smiles at that little show of consideration before tugging at his creased shirt. “I’ll join you in a bit, just got to go and get changed first.”

There’s concern in Regulus’ gaze but he doesn’t argue with James.

The four of them leave the room and make their way to the common room. James hadn’t had time to grab his invisibility cloak last night so he decides to own it. He walks through the Slytherin common room, bold as brass, as if he owns the place, ignoring the startled looks and dumbfounded stares that he receives.

Oh to hell with it.

He throws an arm over Regulus’ shoulder and ignores the way the room erupts into frantic whispers.

Let them talk, he thinks as Evan sends him an approving look and Barty a wicked grin that’s all teeth.

Regulus, however, shoots him a displeased look, a quick scrunch of the nose and a slight furrow of the brow. He’s never been one for being the centre of attention. He allows it though, doesn’t shrug it off. He’s a Black after all, they know how and when to put on a show.

Pandora drifts to their side as they’re leaving, elbowing Evan out the way so she can get closer to James. She ignores the scowl her brother sends her way, looping her arm through James’.

“Morning, James.” She says brightly, her eyes quickly become mischievous. “How did you find Regulus’ bed? Comfortable I assume, since you spent all night there.”

There’s the sound of muffled laughter behind them and James turns to shoot Barty and Evan, the two most likely culprits, a dirty look. “Did you tell her? When did you even have the chance?”

Pandora laughs and squeezes his arm. “No, they didn’t but you’re wearing creased clothes and no one saw you walk in this morning, anyone with eyes can put two and two together.”

Soon, they have to part ways, a trail of whispers following James all the way to his room in Gryffindor tower, which is thankfully empty.

When James eventually makes it to the Great Hall, he feels an anxious pit form in his stomach. It’s busy, more so than usual, all four of the house tables are nearly full.

He searches the Slytherin table and finds Regulus straightaway.

Regulus Black usually likes to fade into the background but not today. He sits, back perfectly straight, his chin resting atop his clasped hands and his face the picture of haughty arrogance. Regulus’ eyes are fixed on something, someone, across the room.

James follows his gaze and finds Sirius.

Sirius looks furious, the anger practically coming off him in waves. Between his enclosed hands sits a mug which he’s squeezing tightly, probably pretending it’s his brother’s neck.

James’ entrance seems to catch Remus’ attention, which in turn results in a chain reaction. Remus looking at the door means that Sirius turns too, losing Sirius’ attention means that Regulus is now looking at him as well.

Time seems to freeze as numerous pairs of eyes focus on him.

He tries to ignore them as he walks slowly over to the Slytherin table, sitting at the empty space on Regulus’ right. Instantly, the room breaks out into loud, harried whispers and pointed looks.

Barty leans round Regulus to send him a pleased smile, slow and smug. Evan, who is sat opposite Barty with his back to the rest of the room, turns on the bench, letting his gaze flit between their table and the Gryffindor table, a spectator waiting for the show to start.

He doesn’t have to wait long.

Regulus tilts his head as he takes in the sight of James sitting beside him, a victorious smile growing on his face. He looks straight ahead at the Gryffindor table and lifts his glass in a mocking toast directed at Sirius across the room.

Sirius is up in a heartbeat, fists clenched and eyes murderous. Remus seems to anticipate this because he moves at the same time Sirius does, trying to get him to sit. Eventually, he settles but he doesn’t take his eyes off of Regulus, his gaze dark and foreboding.

This doesn’t unnerve Regulus, who begins to pour coffee into his mug, looking uncharacteristically cheerful but it does worry James.

James avoids looking at Remus and Peter entirely, he can’t bare to see the betrayal that will most certainly be written all over their faces but he does manage to look at Lily, who is sat beside Remus. She sends him a searching look but despite her confusion, her eyes are kind. It eases something in James’ chest, to know that maybe she’ll take note of their conversation last night.

Dorcas, however, who is sat beside her, looks incredibly sad.

He looks away, ashamed.

Pandora leans across the table to squeeze James’ hand. There’s no pity in her eyes, she knows that James chose this and there’s no turning back now. He needs to see this through.

Deep down, he knows that too. It doesn’t make the reality of the situation any easier though.

—

Marlene is the first to approach James.

This doesn’t surprise James in the slightest. Marlene McKinnon is bold and brash and straight to the point, she wouldn’t waste time waiting for someone to come and tell them her side of the story when she could just demand it from them herself.

And that’s exactly what she does.

James is cutting through the courtyard, on his way to meet Evan and Barty for a smoke behind the greenhouses when he hears Marlene calling his name.

He turns and sees her rapidly advancing towards him, her blonde hair windswept and her cheeks flushed from the cold.

“Potter!” She says, thoroughly disgruntled. “Are you deaf as well as blind? I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes!”

“I think you might be exaggerating.” James says mildly. “I only heard you call my name twice.”

He’s expecting a fight, what he isn’t expecting is Marlene’s face to soften. She huffs. “Two times too many. Don’t make me run after you ever again.”

“Duly noted.” James replies, trying to temper his smile. “What’s up?”

Marlene laughs, her eyebrows almost shooting into her hairline at that question. “What’s up? Oh, you know what’s up. So, come on, it’s time to fill me in on what the hell’s going on.”

James opens his mouth to answer her but he’s interrupted by the arrival of Sirius, Remus and Peter, most likely led here by that stupid map. Maybe Regulus and Barty were right, it has got to go.

“James.” Remus says holding up his hands, a calm and careful gesture, always the glue that holds them together. “We’re not here to fight. We need to talk, all of us.”

James nods but the anxious feeling in his chest peaks, reaching new heights. This is starting to feel like an ambush.

“Really, James? Regulus?” Peter scrunches his nose but he’s quickly silenced by a jab in the ribs from Remus.

Sirius takes this opportunity to step forward and he looks so worn down, so defeated that James wants to reach out, has to stop himself from doing so.

“Why him, James? Out of everyone, why my brother?”

Marlene looks between the four of them, her mouth an unhappy line. She reaches out, places a comforting hand on James’ shoulder. “James, what I think they’re trying to say is, we’re all really fucking confused right now and we need to hear your side of the story so we can start to understand.” She lowers her voice, her next words are clearly meant just for him. “I get it, you know, to a certain extent. I love Dorcas and she might not be my best friend’s sibling but she is a Slytherin and people didn’t like that at first, it took some people a long time to accept that.”

James wants to tell her that it’s not really the fact that Regulus is a Slytherin that’s the problem, more that it’s Regulus himself that’s the issue but he’s interrupted by another unexpected arrival.

The space beside James is empty one minute and occupied by Regulus the next and what started off as a civilised conversation, quickly descends into chaos.

“Off.” He says sharply, he stares at Marlene’s hand, the grip she has on James’ shoulder, like it’s offending him.

“What?” Marlene asks, surprise colouring her tone at his abrupt arrival. She quickly recovers, her face settling into an impressive scowl, one that Regulus easily matches.

Regulus steps into her space. “You heard me. Get off of him.”

Before Marlene can respond, her face outraged, Sirius surges forward, grabbing his brother by the back of his robes and forcing him to the ground.

When Regulus pushes himself up and lifts his head to face Sirius, his face is blank, wiped clean of any emotion. The minute that the two brothers face one another, it’s like only the two of them exist. They don’t have eyes for anyone else. “What was that for?”

“I can’t fucking believe you. Out of everyone in this school you had to go for him, didn’t you? My best friend.”

Regulus smiles at the anger on Sirius’ face. It’s a strained smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes but James doesn’t think that Sirius is in the right frame of mind to pick apart Regulus’ mannerisms. He’s too pissed off to see past Regulus’ mask to see that the look on his brother’s face is insincere.

“Are you angry that people keep picking me over you? First, our parents and now James, who will it be next, I wonder?”

When it comes to his brother, Regulus may not be the best at hiding his emotions but he knows how to wield his words as a weapon. His face doesn’t need to be convincing when he knows how to make his words sting.

Remus’ face pales at that, he tries to reach out a hand to pull Sirius back but he shrugs him off. When reigning Sirius in doesn’t work, Remus looks at James, begging him to intervene.

James moves forward, prepared to pull the two of them apart if he has to but Marlene tugs him back with a shake of her head, wordlessly telling him not to intervene just yet. She probably thinks letting the brothers hash it out is a good thing but James knows it’ll only end one way, the same way it always does, in disaster.

Slowly, Sirius inches closer to his brother, who is still knelt on the floor. “Say that again. Let’s see how brave you really are.”

Regulus smile turns wry. “At least I’m not enough of a coward to send someone flying when they’ve got their back to you.”

The look that Sirius sends his brother is one of disgust. “What have you become? Aren’t you ashamed?”

Regulus says nothing and now it’s Sirius’ turn to smile.

“Our parents favouring you is nothing to be proud of, Regulus. They’re monsters. Do you know why you’re the heir to that rotten legacy and not me? Because they could see a bit of themselves in you. They knew that you were a monster too, even back then, all those years ago.”

“The only thing I was, Sirius, was a child.” Regulus says coldly. He stands, coming to his full height and James’ heart hammers in his chest at the ice in his eyes.

Sirius’ smile is mocking. “And what are you now, Regulus? Because from where I’m standing, you’re all grown up and accountable for your own actions.” He lowers his voice into a parody of a whisper. “And when you get that tattoo, I think you might turn out to be even worse than them.”

Marlene grips James’ arm in warning, sensing that things are quickly going to go south.

“That’s enough.” James says, a sharp warning in his voice. He gently taps Marlene’s hand, the one that’s hooked around his arm, so that she’ll let go. As soon as he’s free, he slowly moves over to Sirius and Regulus, who ignore him, continuing to glare at one another.

“I said that’s enough!” James motions for Remus to steer Sirius away. Remus is soon joined by Peter, who is glancing nervously between the two brothers, worry etched into the crease of his brow.

James then tries his best to pull Regulus in the opposite direction, towards the greenhouses, where he knows Barty and Evan will be waiting. “Now isn’t the time to have this conversation. Please, let’s just leave it here before anyone does something they regret.”

At first, it seems to work. Regulus and Sirius break apart, allowing themselves to be pulled away in opposite directions, although they don’t break eye contact.

It seems that the worst of it is over, that is until Sirius’ speaks, his words stopping Regulus in his tracks.

“And when it comes to James choosing you, Regulus? It’s a decision he’ll come to regret. You will never deserve him. Nothing you do will ever be enough to earn the privilege of him loving you and he will realise that. When he comes to his senses, he’ll realise how rotten you really are.”

Time seems to go still for a moment, Regulus breaking free of the grip James had on his arm. Before anyone can intervene, Regulus has Sirius by the collar of his shirt, slamming him into the wall behind him so hard that Sirius’ head makes a horrible sound as it collides with the brickwork.

“Fucking hell.” Marlene says, her expression horrified as she scrambles over to Sirius. She’s the first to react, pushing Regulus off of him and keeping him away from Sirius with a hard stare and an outstretched arm. This seems to spur Remus into action because he grabs Sirius, checking him over with gentle hands, shielding him with his own body in the process.

“You aren’t doing a very good job of proving Sirius wrong.” Marlene says quietly. Over the years, she’s heard numerous stories and fond anecdotes about the Slytherins from Dorcas and has always seen them in a slightly different light to the rest of her friends. She doesn’t let this cloud her judgement, however. Her loyalty will always be to her friends first.

Marlene’s words seem to strike a chord in Regulus, who turns on his heel, all composure lost.

Sirius only laughs and continues to laugh as his brother walks away.

—

The weeks pass and soon December is upon them.

It’s a month that Evan usually looks forward to. Every year the Slytherins throw a Christmas party before the holidays and Evan is always involved in the planning. It’s arguably Evan’s favourite party of the year. And then there’s Christmas itself, last year, Evan had spent it at his parent’s cabin in the French mountains with his friends, his favourite Christmas yet.

This year, there is none of that to look forward to. He expects that he’ll spend most of his Christmas break with Regulus, Barty and his parents at Grimmauld Place, surrounded by the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.

To make matters worse, November had been a difficult month. Evan had, had to deal with the backlash of James joining them, Regulus’ bad moods, Barty’s erratic behaviour and Pandora’s incessant search of that mysterious field. He’s had no reprieve and he’s tired.

So by the time the Slytherin party rolls around, Evan is burnt out. He doesn’t want to drink, doesn’t want to dance and he finds that his positive attitude from a couple of months ago is long gone.

Evan searches the room for his sister, finds her at the drinks table making people random concoctions that Evan knows from previous experience, not to drink.

Pandora looks ethereal, silver eyeshadow round her bright eyes, tiny bits of glitter catching the light like flecks of stardust in her hair. He loves seeing her happy and he’s glad she’s having fun, she deserves it.

Regulus and James are close by. Regulus, surprisingly, looks like he’s having fun too. He’s sat on the table where Pandora is mixing up the drinks, nursing a cup of something green that emits sparks with a beaming James tucked beside him.

He’s definitely drunk, Evan thinks wryly, if the way he’s mooning over Regulus is anything to go by. Although Regulus is trying his hardest not to, he looks decidedly pleased by James’ attention.

James has become a solid addition to their group, in the short time he’s been with them. There are many qualities that James possesses that Evan admires, he’s funny and adventurous and never takes himself too seriously but if you asked Evan what his favourite thing about James is, he’d have to say it’s how he softens Regulus. That alone is worth the aggravation that they’ve dealt with from the Gryffindors.

Evan is moving through the room, on the hunt for another drink, when he sees Dorcas tucked away in a corner, sat with Adelaide Greengrass. The pair of them look beautiful, Dorcas in a slinky emerald top and Adelaide wearing what Evan suspects is the matching skirt.

Evan misses Dorcas. They still meet with her in the Room of Requirement from time to time, a place where they can’t be overheard and they can let the act drop for a brief moment but it’s not the same. He wants to go over to her like he usually would, pull her to her feet and bring her to the makeshift dance floor but he can’t.

At least she has Adelaide.

Evan had, had a thing with Adelaide, back when they were in their fifth year, before he worked out that there was only one person he wanted to hook up with. Despite their failed history, he’s incredibly fond of her and is glad that Dorcas still has her.

Later, when he finds himself on the dance floor, he’s pleased to find Adelaide there. The minute she spots him, she pushes her way through the crowd to meet him. They spend the next few songs swinging each other about wildly and laughing breathlessly at one another.

After a couple of drinks, Evan is in a decidedly better mood. He’s desperate for another drink and is just making his way over to the table that Pandora has deserted when Barty sidles up next to him. He smirks at Evan, looking the most at ease Evan has seen him in a long time. Barty starts mixing random spirits together with no real finesse or direction before handing Evan the cup.

Evan takes it, tries to ignore the way Barty’s fingers linger against his own.

“Hey, want to bet on something?” Barty asks, knocking their shoulders together.

“What sort of bet?” Evan asks shortly. He purposefully avoids looking at Barty, knows the sight of his hair mussed with sweat and those bright eyes will be the undoing of him.

“How long do you reckon it’ll take me to pull someone in here? I bet five minutes. What do you think?”

“I think you’re going to do whatever the fuck you want, Barty. You usually do.” Evan retorts, handing him back the drink he’d made him. Instantly, Evan realises his mistake, watches the way it sloshes over his fingers from the force of his handover. Barty takes the cup with one hand and grabs Evan’s with the other. Evan watches the way Barty brings his fingers to his mouth, takes them in, one by one and licks the alcohol off of them.

Evan feels the breath rush out of him, can’t take his eyes off the lewd sight of Barty’s cheeks hollowing as they suck at each digit. Barty winks before pulling away, downing half the drink as he goes.

It takes him a minute to recover, he’s pissed off and so turned on he can’t think straight. He stares at the dance floor, automatically seeking out Barty, a bad habit he can’t shake.

His stomach dips as he finds him, sees who he’s dancing with.

Adelaide is exactly where Evan left her, except she’s no longer alone. Evan watches as Barty wraps an around her, drawing her closer. He wastes no time in kissing her and when he does, it’s slow and sensual, one hand in her hair and the other at her hip, pulling her against him. She melts into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Evan feels like he’s on fire, his mouth inexplicably dry.

It’s easier, when he doesn’t see what Barty gets up to with other people. It’s easier, to forgot that Barty does this with whoever he wants, whenever he wants until he has to watch it happen right in front of him.

Barty is a prick.

Evan hates him. It’s a familiar feeling these days, when it comes to Barty, he swings from desire to hate so often that the two emotions are constantly bleeding into one another, the line between them growing more indistinct with each day that passes.

Barty opens his eyes and meets Evan’s gaze. He spends the duration of the kiss looking at Evan with heated eyes and when he eventually pulls away, one corner of his mouth curls into a grin over Adelaide’s shoulder.

Evan can’t look away, he’s so fucking angry and so wildly turned on that he can’t think straight.

He can’t stay in here. If he stays here, he’ll do something he’ll regret.

Evan squares his jaw and forces himself to grab a bottle off the table behind him. He pulls the lid off with his teeth, drinking half the contents of the bottle in one long swig as he pushes his way through the crowd to make his way outside.

He’s pissed off as he comes to a stop at the steps out by the greenhouses. If he’d stayed in there one minute longer, he thinks he might have gone over to Barty and punched him square in his face. The worst part is, that in the next breath Evan knows that he would’ve wiped the blood off his lips and kissed him immediately afterwards.

Evan groans and tips his head back, staring at the stars. He finds Regulus easily enough, almost a habit by now but he finds that the familiar sight doesn’t calm him like it usually does.

“Why are you out here instead of in there?” James asks, appearing from behind him, cigarette in hand. He seems like he’s sobered up as he offers one to Evan who takes it gladly, letting James light it for him with a cupped hand to protect it from the winter breeze.

Evan shrugs. He tries to look unbothered but he can tell by James’ wince that he fails. “Barty’s in there kissing anything that moves.”

“He wants to be careful,” James says mildly. “Because if he carries this on, one day he’ll wake up and realise he’s lost you.”

Evan smiles bitterly, fiddling with the peeling label of the beer bottle in his hand before taking a swig.

“I don’t think there’s anything he could do that would push me away, I’m mental about him, James.”

Evan leans back against the steps, ignoring the way they dig into his back. He can see James looking at him out the corner of his eye.

“It’s much easier with you and Reg.” Evan says eventually.

James raises his eyebrows ruefully at that and Evan laughs.

“No, I know he can be an absolute arse sometimes. I meant that you have it easy in the sense that Reg is all for you, he’s never going to look anywhere else because he’s got everything he wants. He wouldn’t dare jeopardise what he has with you.” Evan sighs. “And neither would you, you’ve put your whole life on pause for him. Went against everything you believe in just because you love him.”

“You do realise, Evan, that you deserve that too, right? To be loved the same way you love?”

To be loved the same way you love.

Time seems to stop for a minute.

Love.

Is that what this is?

Evan thinks back to the first time that Barty had kissed him. He’d known in that moment, that it was always going to be him, that there wasn’t room for anyone else. There probably never would be.

It’s you, he’d thought when Barty had pulled back and stared at him with eyes full of wonder, it’s always going to be you, because no one else makes sense.

Was that love?

He thinks it might have been.

Evan thinks that maybe, all of it might have been love all along.

Evan had known that he’d wanted more from Barty, he just wasn’t sure what more actually was.

Now he knows.

For the first time in a long time, things start to make sense.

“Yeah.” He says finally. “It just took me a long time to realise it.”

—

Barty watches Evan leave and is instantly filled with regret.

He can’t get the look on Evan’s face out of his head. The anger, the hatred, the longing that he’d seen there.

He excuses himself, mumbles a shit excuse to Adelaide so that he can make a beeline for the door, intent on following Evan and apologising, for fucking things up, again.

Barty is halfway down the corridor, his heart in his throat at the realisation that this time, he might have taken things too far when he’s stopped by the sound of Regulus’ voice behind him.

“What the fuck was that?”

Barty turns on his heel, cursing Regulus. Now isn’t the time.

He closes his eyes, leans against the wall behind him and wills for Regulus to say his piece and then fuck off. “I wanted to make him jealous.”

When Barty opens his eyes and meets Regulus’ gaze, there’s fire burning bright there. “Evan is jealous! But do you know what Evan also is?” Barty opens his mouth to answer but Regulus keeps on talking, not giving Barty a moment to speak. “Fed up, Barty.”

Barty closes his mouth and tries to swallow past the lump in his throat.

Regulus moves closer, to lean beside him, and says very quietly. “You’re losing him.”

“I don’t want to.” Barty replies, all bravado wiped clean off his face.

“Then sort it out. If you can’t do right by Evan then do the right thing and end things with him because in seven months we’re going to be part of something very fucking dangerous and we can’t afford to be a fractured mess. I didn’t want to get involved in this, Barty, but we’re meant to be a team and we can’t afford for you to fuck this up. I won’t let this be the reason we all end up dead.”

Regulus looks at him expectantly as he waits for an answer but Barty stays silent. Regulus shakes his head in disappointment, pushing off of the wall to head back to the common room.

“This is your dad getting in your head.” Regulus calls over his shoulder.

Barty freezes, fingers digging into the wooden bannister behind him until his knuckles turn white. “What did you say?” He doesn’t mean for his voice to come out as cold as it does but he can feel his anger building, rising to new heights at the mention of his father.

“You heard me. You’re letting him win, Barty. I thought you were better than that.” Regulus walks away without another word, leaving Barty stood there with the weight of his father’s overbearing expectations on his shoulders. And the reminder that he’s failed every single one of them.

Barty storms over and pulls Regulus by his shoulder, crowding him against the wall so that they’re face to face. There’s no surprise in Regulus’ face as Barty shoves him, in fact he looks like he anticipated this.

“This is my life. He doesn’t control me anymore!”

“Then stop letting him. For years, he led you to believe that you’re nothing, that you deserve nothing. I know that’s not true, so does Pandora, so does Dorcas and so does Evan. The only person who hasn’t figured that out yet is you. You can’t fathom the thought of someone caring about you like that but Evan does. He would, if you’d let him.“ Regulus smiles, razor-sharp. “Stop being such a coward.”

The feeling of being outmanoeuvred in a game he didn’t even know he was playing is a familiar one to Barty. He forgets sometimes, that Regulus knows how to get people exactly where he wants them, knows what buttons to press to get the most opportune outcome. Barty can’t hate him for it, not when a part of him is certain that he does it for their own good.

He looks at Regulus at a loss for words. Regulus only tilts his head in the direction of the common room. “Go on.” He says, “You’ve wasted enough time, don’t you think?”

He’s right. He has.

Barty heads for the common room, pushes his way through the crowd with a desperation he didn’t think he was capable of, hoping that Evan will be sat in their room.

He’s not.

It takes a minute, for Barty to work out where Evan is, somewhere private, somewhere he won’t be disturbed, somewhere he won’t expect Barty to follow him.

So Barty heads for the Room of Requirement.

He stands in the corridor, peering hopelessly at the space on the wall where the door should be.

Nothing’s there.

Please, he thinks desperately, I know he’s in there. Please let me see him. I need to make this right.

Slowly, hesitantly, like the room isn’t quite sold on Barty’s reason for being here yet, the edge of the door begins to materialise.

So Barty lets all those hidden thoughts, those pushed down feelings, unravel, like a knot finally pulled free.

I care about him. He cares about me. I think that’s why nothing made sense up until now, because there was a part of me missing and Evan’s got it. He’s always carried that part of me with him. And I need it back but only so I can give it to him properly. He deserves to know that he has that part of me because I think he gave me a bit of him a long time ago, I was just too stupid to see it for what it was.

‘And what was it?’ The room seems to ask.

Barty’s expression is pained. “Love.” He says out loud.

The handle is the last part of the door to appear. The minute that it’s corporal, Barty has it in his hand, twisting it open.

The room is different, the sparring area is gone, replaced by a four poster bed, designed with comfort in mind. The room had anticipated that Evan needed a place to stay and it had done everything it could to make it comfortable. Evan sits atop it, watching the door warily.

“Barty.” He says, he sounds tired, resigned. “Why are you here?”

“I needed to see you.” Barty says, feeling out of place standing by the door. He makes a move towards Evan, watches the way Evan tracks the movement.

“You know, the whole point of me coming here was to get away from you.”

Barty swallows. “I know, Ev, and I’m sorry. I’ve been so fucking stupid.”

This peaks Evan’s interest. “You’re right, you have. You’ve also been the world’s biggest arsehole.” His expression softens, only slightly. “What made you come to that realisation then?”

“Surprisingly, it was Regulus.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised by that. Regulus is always ten steps ahead of everyone else. Sometimes, I think Regulus knows us better than we know ourselves.“

Barty scrunches his nose. “That’s…weirdly insightful?”

“Well, I’ve been the only insightful one out of us two recently. ”

“That was a jab about us, wasn’t it?”

The corner of Evan’s mouth twitches. “Well if the shoe fits…”

“I didn’t know you wanted more…from me. You could have communicated it better, you know.”

Evan sighs, looks heavenward. “Would it have made a difference?”

“It would’ve made all the difference in the world.”

Evan’s gaze snaps to him, realisation dawning on his face. “You’re not just here to apologise, are you?”

Barty smiles. “No, I’m not.” He broaches the space between them, sits at the end of the bed. “This year has been so fucking difficult and I’m sorry, for letting it come between us. It felt like everything had changed and I had no control over anything anymore but there was one thing that always stayed the same, and that was you. I don’t know how or why but by some stroke of luck, you came into my life and you never left and I didn’t want to screw that up. I thought that if this was all we got to have, then I could accept that. I was scared because I didn’t want to cross a line and lose you. Having a bit of you was better than having none of you. And because I’m a mess and I say the wrong things and hurt the people I care about, I couldn’t tell you how I felt. Instead, I just made the same mistakes, over and over again.” Barty inches closer, reaches out a hand and by some miracle, Evan takes it. “But I love you and I’m not scared anymore.”

There are stars in Evan’s eyes, entire constellations hidden in the blue of his eyes. A little bit of the magic that makes up Evan Rosier. Barty doesn’t think he’s ever seen them before but he sees them now. He can’t look away, he doesn’t want to.

“You’re going to say the wrong thing sometimes. You’re going to hurt people when you don’t mean to. You’re going to make mistakes and then you’ll probably make the same ones again and do you know what, Barty? I’ll still love you anyway.” Evan’s gaze is unwavering, his expression gentle. Barty has never seen him look so soft.

Barty feels like he’s flying, he feels like he’s falling.

“I love you.” He says and now that those words are finally out there, hovering between them, he wants to fill the space between them with countless more.

All night, they whisper it, back and forth. Between kisses, between sighs, between moans.

Barty doesn’t think he’ll get tired of saying it, doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of hearing those words fall from Evan’s lips. He thinks he’ll spend the rest of his life saying it, now he knows what it feels like.

—

James is surprised, when he’s called in to see Dumbledore, but not particularly worried.

He assumes it’s about the party he attended last night, the one that, as head boy, he should’ve really shut down.

He sits outside the headmaster’s office, a little nervous but mostly impatient. The train will be leaving soon. He wants to get this out of the way so he can start to prepare what he’s going to say to his mum and dad when he sees them.

Eventually, there’s a rumble behind him. James turns and watches as the staircase begins to rise and he quickly rushes to step onto it.

When James opens the door to Professor Dumbledore’s office, the first inkling that anything is wrong is the fact that Professor McGonagall is stood slightly behind the headmaster, who is sat at his desk.

“Ah, James.” Dumbledore says noncommittally, he gestures for him to sit, his face giving nothing away.

It unnerves James, the lack of expression on his face, the guarded eyes that watch his every move from behind unassuming half-moon spectacles.

James sits and if he wasn’t nervous before, he is now. He takes in the numerous paintings and artefacts that he’s seen a thousand times before, in a bid to escape that sharp stare and the awkward silence that’s befallen the room.

When James finally looks back at the desk, hellbent on breaking the silence himself, he finds that Dumbledore is still watching him, a small smile gracing his lips. Professor McGonagall’s face remains blank, her gaze watchful.

“Um, Professor? You wanted to see me?”

Dumbledore nods, interlocks his fingers and continues to watch James, his expression unreadable. “Yes, James. I did.”

He leans back in his chair. “Are you still planning to join the Order, once you leave Hogwarts?”

Shit.

James swallows, rubs a nervous hand over his jaw. “I’m not sure. Maybe? I haven’t really made up my mind yet, you see…” He trails off at the expression on Dumbledore’s face, it’s like the man can see right through him. James suddenly feels very small and completely out of his depth.

“Would your change of heart have anything to do with Mr Black, by any chance?”

James sends Professor McGonagall a startled look. He waits for her to say something, anything but she only purses her lips and remains silent. Why is she here if she isn’t going to say anything?

“Do you mean Sirius?” James says, trying to buy himself more time. It’s fruitless however because Dumbledore shakes his head, displeased at James’ answer.

“No. We both know which Mr Black that I refer to.”

“Regulus.” James says, his mouth dry.

Dumbledore nods, not once has he taken his eyes off James and so James tries his hardest to sit still, to not fidget or give anything away.

“You care for him a great deal, don’t you?”

It’s the easiest answer he’s given so far. James nods, without hesitation, seeing no point in denying it.

At that, Dumbledore finally stares off into the distance, his eyes incredibly grave. “I cared about someone on the wrong side too, James. It never ends well.”

“Sir, with all due respect, it’s hard to define the right side and the wrong side. I think it’s all a matter of perspective.”

Something hardens in Dumbledore’s eyes. “Oh?”

James flounders for a minute, trying to put it into words. “Right and wrong, it can be difficult to navigate, I don’t think we’ll always get it right but I think what matters is that we keep trying. The right choice for us might be the wrong choice for someone else.”

“Our choices show who we really are, James. Mr Black has made certain choices that have dictated the side that he is on and I am well aware of them, as are you.”

He knows about the dark mark.

Fuck. Dumbledore knows.

James sits up a little straighter, levels his gaze, tries to ignore the way his palms are sweating. “I don’t know what choice you’re referring to, sir.”

The room lapses back into heavy silence as Dumbledore assesses James with cold, clever eyes. He knows he’s lying.

“Merry Christmas, Mr Potter.” He says eventually. “You best be on your way, the train will be leaving soon.”

“Merry Christmas.” James says, trying to get up slowly, when every part of him is screaming at him to get out of that office as quickly as possible. He nods first at Dumbledore, and then at Professor McGonagall. He wonders if Dumbledore had brought her in just to try and unnerve him. If so, it worked, he’s never known her to be so quiet.

Once the door is shut firmly behind him, Albus turns to Minerva, his face considerably colder than it had been a moment ago.

“I don’t trust Regulus Black or his friends. The four of them are up to something.”

He turns back to the door with shrewd eyes, as if he can still see the guilt on James Potter’s face through it. “We must find out what it is that they’re up to.”