Change the Prophecy

Regulus Black is a difficult person to find when he doesn’t want to be found.

James has checked the library, the courtyard, the quidditch pitch, all the places he’d usually haunt on a Saturday morning but for whatever reason, Regulus is choosing to steer clear of them today.

That leaves one last place.

“Why do you have to make so much noise?” Peter whines, pulling his pillow over his head as James barges back into their room. “I can always tell it’s you, you’re so heavy footed.”

“Sorry,” James murmurs, not meaning it one bit. He makes a beeline for his trunk, opening it and immediately dumping half of his belongings on the floor. He digs through the rest of the contents of the trunk until his fingers make contact with a silky material folded carefully at the very bottom. “I needed to pick something up.”

James’ cloak feels like it’s woven from starlight, smooth and supple, the magic entwined between each individual thread buzzing underneath his fingertips. He tucks it under one arm, casting a quick charm to half-heartedly tidy up the mess he’d made. He bids Pete goodbye but doesn’t get a response.

It’s early so the corridors are mostly quiet, bar the occasional student on their way to the Great Hall. James smiles at them, thanks them when they congratulate him on being made head boy and waits until there’s no one else around to throw on the cloak. The trip to the Slytherin common room is much quicker when no one else can see you.

James knows which corridor he’s looking for but isn’t quite sure which bit of the bare stretch of stone wall conceals the entryway to the dungeon. The location of the Slytherin common room is a closely guarded secret, unlike the other houses who occasionally open up their living quarters to their friends, legend has it that an outsider hasn’t entered the Slytherin common room for seven centuries. James loves a challenge.

He hovers for a moment, hoping that someone will come along soon. He only has to wait five minutes before a harried fourth year is returning from breakfast, very clearly in a rush. She mutters the password underneath her breath before darting inside, not bothering to check if anyone is around to hear her. Even if she had, she wouldn’t have seen James, only a heartbeat behind her.

The Slytherin common room is beautiful in the first light of morning. It catches James off guard for a moment as he spins to take the room in, the only person other than the Slytherins who have seen this place in all its glory.

Everything is cast in an emerald glow, the bottom of the lake visible from the numerous windows scattered around the room, the movement of the water casting ever changing patterns on the floor.

When James lifts his head, his feels his breath catch in his throat. The edges of the high ceiling are gilded in gold and at the centre of it is a mural, several painted panels, all woven together to tell a thousand different stories in paint.

Shaking his head in disbelief, James struggles to temper his smile. No wonder the Slytherins are such pretentious bastards, he thinks he’d have a chip on his shoulder too if he got to wake up to this view every morning.

He loves Gryffindor tower, wouldn’t change a single thing about it. It’s intimate and reminds him of home and he’ll miss it desperately once this year is up but he’s glad he got to see this. Pleased that just for a moment, he gets to be part of Regulus’ world, that he’s able to collect another piece of him here amongst the shelves of books and grandiose tapestries.

With one last lingering look, James makes his way down the marble steps that presumably lead to the boys dormitories. There are two sets of steps, on opposite sides of the room and he’d seen which direction the fourth year had headed in so knows that he’s on the right track.

The corridor is quiet, a couple of the doors are open and James can hear laughter and soft voices trickling out. It surprises him, how ordinary it all feels for a moment, how ordinary the Slytherins are proving to be. James forgets sometimes, that they’re more than just the house closely associated with Voldemort. That they’re not all going to be future Death Eaters. He feels the shame, hot and unpleasant in his stomach.

He makes his way to the very end of the hall and round a small bend to presumably, where the seventh years are. James knows that since their fifth year, the Slytherin boys have been split into two rooms, one holding three students and the other only two. It’s a perk of the vast and seemingly endless space in the dungeons, and had probably been funded by the previous generations of Malfoys, Blacks and Rosiers and all those other old families, James thinks wryly.

He’s fairly certain that inside one of these rooms is Regulus but the problem is he’s not sure which one. James curses Sirius for taking the map this morning. The selfish git.

Both doors are closed and so James waits, hardly daring to breathe in case he misses the slightest sound that will point him in the right direction, but the occupants of both rooms remain quiet.

So James decides to take matters into his own hands.

Without pause, he pulls the cloak aside ever so slightly to boot the wall to his left. The door closest to James opens in response, revealing a scowling Avery standing in the dimly lit doorway. James quickly moves to press his back against the stone brickwork, in case Avery decides to venture further than the threshold of his room.

Avery pauses for a moment, scanning the corridor, his gaze skipping over James. He mutters a string of profanities under his breath, sending the room opposite his a dark look as he disappears with a slam of his door.

Well that solves things then, doesn’t it?

James waits to make sure that Avery isn’t going to make another appearance before he pulls off the cloak, not wanting to frighten the life out of anyone. He pushes open the ornate door to his right, relieved to find it unlocked and walks into the spacious room.

Barty is the first one to notice him, peering at him blearily from his bed, not seeming the least bit concerned at the intrusion. “Potter, really? Couldn’t it have waited an hour?”

“No, not really.” James says, tone frosty.

Evan isn’t as cordial as Barty. He throws a pillow at him, it misses James and bounces harmlessly to the floor. “If you’re going to kick off can you at least shut the door first? Severus is in the room opposite ours and he’s the biggest fucking gossip going.”

James does as he’s told and shuts the door before turning to face Regulus, who is sat at the furthest end of the room in an overstuffed armchair. He’s watching the flames pick up in the fireplace, a cup of what looks like black coffee on the oak table beside him. He’s not paying any of them the slightest bit of attention.

“Reg, what is going on?”

“I’d like to know too.” Evan mutters, sitting up in bed, his blonde hair untidy and his face still creased with sleep.

“Late night?” James asks sharply. It annoys him, that whilst everyone has been worried about this trio and the supposed threat that they pose, these two seemingly couldn’t care less.

Barty shifts so that he’s resting on his elbows, dark hair as artfully messy as always. He stifles a yawn. “Potter, can you cut the attitude for just a second? One, you’re in our room, uninvited by the way. Two, how did you get in here? I’d probably be pissed off if I wasn’t so impressed.”

“Invisibility cloak.” Evan replies, nodding towards the balled up material in James’ hands.

That seems to wake Barty up, he makes an excited gesture at James miming that he should throw the cloak to him. James sends him a look back as if to say ‘are you mad’.

Barty shrugs in defeat and Evan snorts at him, “Nice try, idiot. As if he’d let you look at it, he knows the minute that it’s in your hands he’ll probably never see it again.”

“Can you two give us a minute?” Regulus’ voice is quiet but instantly commands the attention of everyone in the room. They all turn to look at him, despite the fact that he still has his back to them.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Barty whines, he grabs his quilt glowering at James as he does so. “Evan, pick up your pillow, we’re being kicked out of our own room.”

Evan sighs. “Relegated to the common room it is.”

The pair of them head out, still in their t-shirts and joggers, Barty wrapped in his duvet and Evan with his pillow tucked under his arm.

Barty leaves without a backwards glance but Evan hovers.

When he doesn’t hear the door click shut, Regulus turns to look at his friend, a wordless exchange flashing as quick as lightning between them. Whatever conclusion they come to satisfies Evan, who ducks his head with a pleased smile. This earns him a theatrical eye roll from Regulus, who dismisses him with a wave of his hand. This time Evan listens to him.

“I have a feeling I know what all of this is about.” Regulus sighs. He gestures to the sofa next to him. “Come sit with me.”

James does so warily, coming to sit on the velvet sofa next to Regulus’ armchair. It’s surprisingly comfortable, littered with numerous cushions but he can’t relax, he’s anxious and it’s making him fidgety.

“Reg, what’s going on? We’ve only been back for five minutes and people are saying all sorts of things.”

“It’s complicated. Just promise me you’ll hear me out? Wait until I’ve explained everything before you give me hell for it.”

Oh fuck, James thinks faintly but he nods and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, all his attention focused on Regulus in front of him.

“There’s something that I need to do and it’s going to change everything but James,” Regulus holds his gaze, his own unwavering in its intensity. “It will not change me, I won’t let it.”

He pauses for a minute, breaking their eye contact to look heavenward before the words tumble from him, in a rush and all at once.

“I took the dark mark.”

James is on his feet in an instant, the blood roaring in his ears. “You did what?”

Regulus angles his chin up at him defiantly. “You heard me. You told me there was no point having a plan if I wasn’t brave enough to put it into action, so I did. And that meant taking the dark mark.”

James starts laughing, he knows he sounds hysterical but he can’t stop, the noise spilling from him, sounding strangled and strange.

“Don’t use my words against me. When I said those things to you it was meant to give you courage to do the right thing, not to push you into your parent’s arms. Fuck, they must be thrilled, they finally did it. Finally got their perfect Death Eater son.” He shakes his head, ignoring the fury on Regulus’ face, his narrowed eyes and pursed mouth. James feels like he’s choking. “I would say that Sirius is going to be disappointed in you but I think he expected this from you more than I did.”

Regulus is on his feet now too, crowding against James. His grey eyes are blazing, hands fisted at his side, like he doesn’t trust himself not to grab at him. “Did you not listen to a word I just said? I said I have a plan and to put it into motion I had to do this but this is not going to change me, James. It’s just a means to an end.”

James uses their close proximity to grab at Regulus’ left arm, roughly pushing up the sleeve of his jumper. Regulus tries to pull away but it’s too late, the soft wool of his sleeve is half way up to his elbow, revealing the black ink beneath. He drops Regulus’ arm just as quickly as he grabbed it. Bile rising thick and fast in the back of his throat as he points a shaky finger at the tattoo staining Regulus’ forearm.

“No plan is worth that.”

Upon hearing those words, the fight seems to leave Regulus in a rush. He pulls down his sleeve, head bowed as he takes a step back, putting distance between them. “You told me you’d hear me out.”

“Okay. Talk to me. Help me understand why you’ve done this.” He thinks back to Barty and Evan earlier, both in t-shirts, arms visible and bare. “Do Barty and Evan know?”

“Of course they do. They were the first people I told.” Regulus sits back down, this time on the sofa, gesturing for James to do the same. They sit next to one another, thighs pressed together and although there’s no real space between their bodies, it feels like there’s miles and miles stretching between them.

“I first thought about it when I realised I couldn’t run away or join the Order. Unlike Sirius, I knew if I left it wouldn’t go unpunished, I knew that someone I cared about would suffer the consequences if I disappeared. It’s the same for Evan and Barty. We could’ve ran, could’ve brought everyone we loved with us but they’d still have found some other way to hurt us. Running was never an option.” Regulus presses his fingers to his temples, like he’s trying to stave off a headache. “This summer was all abut buying time, if not for me then at least for Barty and Evan but the Dark Lord was getting impatient.”

“He backed you into a corner.” James guesses.

“Yes.” Regulus confirms, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “But what he didn’t know was that I was doing the exact same thing to him. I told him that by marking students in close proximity to Dumbledore, he risked putting us on the Order’s radar and that it could result in him losing the element of surprise later on.” He shakes his head wryly. “He wasn’t completely sold on the idea at first and I didn’t want him to think that it was a cop out, that I was trying to get out of it and risk angering him. I wanted him to start trusting me so I told him that I’d be honoured to take the dark mark now, that I could be discreet about it, more so than some of my peers.“

“And now none of the students will have to take the mark until they leave Hogwarts.” James breathes. It was stupid of Regulus, not to mention incredibly dangerous but he can see the brilliance in it, the quick thinking it must have taken him to outmanoeuvre Voldemort at his own game.

Regulus nods. “I knew going into that meeting that I had to do whatever I could to buy Barty and Evan more time but also to limit my competition.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spoke about wanting Voldemort to trust me and it’s true but not for the reasons you might think. I want him to trust me so that he tells me information that others aren’t privy to. I want him to trust me to the point that he wants me sitting beside him at meetings, advising him. I want him to trust me so that when he looks at me, he sees a valuable asset that he needs to keep close to him. And so when the time comes, he won’t even anticipate the knife at his back. He’ll be so focused on the threat from those outside of his inner circle that he won’t see the danger that sits directly beside him.”

James feels his mouth part in surprise, his eyes involuntarily widening behind his glasses. “You’re going to betray him?”

Regulus smiles and there’s a small victory there, like he can feel James’ anger draining away, can hear the interest in his voice and see the fascination dawning on his face.

“I didn’t have many options, James, but I did what I could with the cards I was dealt.”

It takes James a minute to process everything that Regulus has just told him. It takes a few more for him to realise that from the way Regulus was talking, his plan was a solitary one, full of ‘I’ and not ‘we’.

“And where do I fit into all of this?”

Regulus’ smile falters.

“I don’t do I? You haven’t even taken the time to consider me. How I might feel about this. I had to come and find you! Would you have even told me if I hadn’t sought you out?”

Regulus shakes his head, mouth pressed into a thin line. “Of course I was going to tell you.”

The anger is back, James’ heart pounding in his chest like a drum. “So where does this leave us then? Or were you hiding out in here, trying to pluck up the courage to end things between us because you don’t respect me enough to tell me what the hell is going on with you!”

“I wasn’t plucking up the courage to end things between us.” Regulus says sharply, parroting James’ words straight back at him, curling his fingers into mocking air quotes. “But I have every intention of letting you go if that’s what you want.”

James can’t believe this, how long it had taken to break down Regulus’ defences, how quickly he’d put them all back up again. “What I want? Reg, for once, what do you want?”

“I want to survive this war. I want to win it.”

James doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment. “Is that all?”

Regulus swallows, his throat bobbing. “And I want you.”

“So you’re asking me to wait?”

“No,” Regulus looks tired. He always does these days. “I’m just asking you to understand. You don’t have to stay, you don’t have to wait. I made a decision without telling you first and you have every right to be mad, I don’t blame you. But I need you to know why I did it. I need you to understand.” He looks up at James and there’s genuine sorrow in his eyes. Regulus looks like a man who knows that something precious is slipping through his fingers and that holding on tighter won’t make a difference if it’s already gone. “I don’t care if I’m the villain in everyone else’s story but I do care if I’m the villain in yours.”

James tries to breathe, tries to respond but it feels like there’s something lodged deep in his chest. In the silence of the room, Regulus moves towards the fireplace, his back to James.

He’s angry.

He’s disappointed.

He wants to scream at the unfairness of it all.

He wants to sink to his knees and cry.

He wants to travel back in time and stop Regulus from doing this.

He wants to travel back in time and tell Regulus that it’s okay, he understands.

And he does understand.

He wishes he didn’t, but he does.

This could go so, so wrong in so many different ways. Regulus could die following Voldemort’s orders, lifeless on a battlefield, his name and reputation forever tied to the Death Eaters. He could say the wrong thing, make a mistake that would inevitably lead back to him and be punished for his deceit. But James believes that if given half the chance, Regulus really could change the world.

The worst part is, he knows that Regulus is about to become one of the villains, at least to everyone else. And now James is cursed with the knowledge that he’s not, not really.

James thinks to back to that evening in his garden, Regulus lying beside him in the half-light, telling him that being brave isn’t in his nature. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

It’s not the future he wanted for Regulus, for them but it’s the one that they can choose to have or lose entirely.

James has made his choice, the one he knew deep down he’d always make.

“Fuck you for thinking I’d ever give up on you that easy.”

Regulus looks over his shoulder and lifts a brow in question. He’s tense, even though he’s trying to feign indifference, James can tell. He knows him, every version of him, inside out. He won’t lose this, he can’t.

“You’re not doing it alone.”

Regulus isn’t expecting that, his face goes slack, mouth parting open in surprise. The expression is wiped clean as quick as it was there but James saw it, can see it still, in his clever grey eyes.

“James, you can’t,” He seems to anticipate James wanting to speak because he holds a hand up, stopping him in his tracks. “No I won’t have it. I won’t.” He says sharply, his mouth an unhappy line. “You have too much to lose.”

James steps forward, until they’re stood shoulder to shoulder, by the fireplace. The flames are just embers now, dying in the grate, yet they both stare at them, rather than face the other.

“What did Evan and Barty decide, when you told them?”

Regulus closes his eyes, pained. “Don’t bring them into this, James. You know it’s different for them. For us.”

“It’s no different for me than it is for them, Regulus.”

Regulus finally turns to look at him, his eyes somber. “We both know that’s not true. People expect this of us. They’d never expect this from you.”

“Well I’ll have to make sure I convince them then.” It sounds weak, even to his own ears.

“And what about Sirius? Remus, Peter, Lily, Marlene and Mary? They’ll hate you for this, James.”

James hesitates. The thought of his friends feeling that way about him ties his stomach in knots but he knows that they’d understand once he explains everything. They might even want to be part of this somehow, work with them behind the scenes. He knows they’d help in any way that they could. “I’ll be making the world a better place, for them. They’ll understand when I tell them. I know they will.”

Regulus shakes his head, remorseful. “No one can know, James. It’ll never work if for whatever reason someone lets it slip.”

“They wouldn’t-“

“James, he’ll tortue them.” Regulus’ tone is blunt, matter-of-fact. James flinches at the cold brutality of it. “If he even suspects that there’s a connection there, that you hold even the slightest bit of affection for them he will go after them and you won’t be able to protect them without blowing the whole thing up.”

“What about Sirius? Just Sirius.” James pleads, he can hear how desperate it sounds, even to him. He feels awful, doesn’t want to keep any of his friends in the dark but can’t bear the thought of his best friend thinking the worst of him. James loves Sirius, he needs him and he knows Sirius needs him too.

“Sirius can’t know,” Regulus says quietly. “James, I’m banking on the distance between us to get me a place with the Death Eaters. If Sirius starts acting differently towards me, they’ll get suspicious and we can’t afford to have any loose ends.” He looks down at his hand and twists the constellation ring on his little finger absentmindedly. “Besides, I want to protect Sirius, James. I don’t want him caught up in all of this. One of us had to get out and I’m glad it was him. I’m not dragging him back into this.” There’s no room for argument there. Regulus’ tone is final.

James knows why. If Sirius knew the truth, there’s no way he’d let his brother face this alone. Sirius would want to protect him, the same way Regulus wants to keep him safe.

He doesn’t know what to do. Regardless of what decision he comes to, he’s going to lose one of them.

“Why are you telling me all of this then? If you didn’t want me to be involved and it’s too dangerous for anyone else to know what you’re planning to do, why are you putting me at risk?”

“Because there’s a good chance that I’ll die doing this, James. And I didn’t want to die a lie.” It’s a painfully honest statement. One said with no hesitation and no fear. James comes to the sickening realisation that Regulus wants to survive this war but he doesn’t think he will. That he’s made peace with that.

James pulls Regulus towards him, wrapping his arms round his shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Regulus is surprised, James can tell by the way he freezes. It takes him a minute to embrace him back and when he does, his grip is tight.

James holds him, breathes him in and lets the tears fall. Regulus doesn’t comment on them, just draws back so he can wipe them away.

It takes James a moment to speak, his voice thick with preemptive grief at the thought of losing him. “I won’t let you, Reg. I’ll be there and I’ll do whatever I can to get us out.”

This time it’s Regulus who pulls them together with a quiet resignation. He cups the back of James’ head and whispers in his ear, sweet nothings and gentle reassurances. James doesn’t know how long they stay like that, only that he doesn’t want to be the first one to pull away.

He has to eventually because there’s something he has to say, something Regulus has to agree to, if he’s going to do this.

“My parents have to know, Regulus. And I want to write a letter, for them to give to Sirius, if anything happens to me. To us.”

Regulus looks at him, really looks at him. Those shrewd eyes of his trace every inch of James’ face, monitor his every blink, his every breath. If Regulus is looking for a flicker of doubt, James knows that he won’t find any. Eventually Regulus seems to realise that because he nods, a short, sharp movement. “You have to get their blessing, James. You have your condition and that’s mine. If they forbid you from doing this, you won’t be part of it.”

“All right,” James says, he lifts a hand to cup Regulus’ face. “It’s going to be okay.”

Regulus doesn’t look convinced. “I hope so.”

James feels drained. A small part of him wants to stay here, with Regulus but mostly he wants to return to Gryffindor tower and soak up every second he can with his friends.

He knows they’ll understand, when the time comes to tell them. They’ll be angry with him and he knows that, won’t begrudge them that, or beg for their forgiveness before they’re ready to give him it.

But they will forgive him.

Eventually.

James doesn’t doubt the depth of love that they share or the bond that exists between them and that’s how he knows that they’ll be okay. These things just take time and after his nightmare with the Death Eaters is over, they’ll have all the time in the world to figure things out.

He’s dreading having to lie to Sirius when he inevitably asks about his brother, knows that he won’t believe whatever crap comes out of James’ mouth. Despite that, James remains resolute in his decision to do this. Only yesterday he’d been worried about his future, the future of his friends. He’d felt useless, didn’t feel like he’d be able to help but now he does. Now he’s part of something that might make a difference. Something that might change the world.

They part ways with a promise to meet tomorrow evening, all four of them. Regulus and James, Barty and Evan, soon to be a team.

James manages to make his way through the common room undetected despite the fact that it’s starting to get busy.

He locates Barty and Evan easily enough. They’re on the biggest sofa tucked away in a corner of the room, Evan and Barty in the middle, Pandora sat next to her brother and Dorcas painting her nails with her socked feet in Barty’s lap.

The four of them are under Barty’s quilt, apart from Dorcas who is half in and half out. Barty is lying on Evan’s pillow, squished between Evan’s shoulder and the back of the settee, face soft with sleep. James lets his gaze drift to Evan and he’s never seen his face look so soft before. He’s laughing at something Pandora said but he only has eyes for Barty.

No one pays them any mind, a few people stop to chat but the minute it’s the four of them again, they’re wrapped up in their own bubble. He sees a little of Sirius, of Remus, of Pete in them. James is hit with the sudden realisation that like the marauders, they’ve built something special together too.

Evan looks up suddenly and without warning, like he can feel a pair of eyes on him. He seems to find the spot where James is standing automatically, even in the crowded room. His brow furrows in confusion at whatever he sees. It unnerves James and he turns to leave, careful to not knock into anyone as he does so.

“Hey, Barty.” James can hear Evan murmur gently as he spots Adelaide Greengrass, a girl in their year, leaving and makes a move to follow her out. “I have a feeling we’ve got our room back.”

—

It’s a slow Sunday afternoon, the last of summer’s warmth hanging in the air, the sky clear and the sun bright.

Evan sits in the courtyard and watches the world go by.

“What are you thinking about?” Pandora asks, her voice soft. She’s lying across the stone bench, eyes closed and feet dangling over the edge furthest away from Evan. Her long blonde hair is loose today, strands of it floating in the gentle breeze.

Evan laughs quietly. “That if you take up anymore space, I may as well sit on the floor.”

She lifts an arm over her head as if to hit him but seems to think better of it, letting her arm drop so her fingers can graze the blades of grass beneath them.

“Something’s going on with you, Barty and Regulus.” It’s a keen observation, would surprise him if it came from anyone else but Pandora has always been perceptive. If he’s honest with himself, he was almost expecting an inquisition from her at some point.

It’s mostly quiet out here, a few students dotted about on the other benches or congregating in small groups on the grass, no one close enough to hear yet Evan still hesitates.

“Mm. So I’m right then.” Pandora says idly, opening an eye to peer up at him. “You just don’t want to tell me…or you can’t tell me?”

He rolls his eyes at her but really she’s hit the nail on the head with both of those observations. He doesn’t want to tell her because he doesn’t want to put her in danger but that isn’t what’s stopping him from doing so. He can’t tell her because he promised Regulus he’d let him speak to her first which means for now, his hands are tied.

Evan mimes zipping his lips as tilts his head backwards, letting the sun warm his face. “As soon as I can, you know I will.”

“You better.” She says with an air of finality and that’s it, that’s all that needs to be said. She knows that now isn’t the right time to discuss this and she’ll wait until it is. Evan loves his sister because everything really is that simple with her.

He lazily surveys the grounds, spotting Barty in the distance, easily identifiable by his dark hair sticking up every which way like it always does. He’s leaning against a tree, idly kicking his Doc Martens against the bark and talking to a girl. Evan squints but he can’t work out who it is as all he can see is a head of bright blonde hair.

Barty leans in close to say something to her, looking artfully dishevelled with his white creased top and dark ripped jeans. Evan feels a coil of want twist low in his stomach.

Pandora sensing his distraction, follows his gaze and sighs. “You know I love him like a brother, Ev, but he’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“And why’s that?” Evan asks absentmindedly, watching as Barty tucks a strand of the girl’s hair behind her ear. Go away. Evan thinks, pissed off and full of jealousy. Come here.

“Don’t act oblivious. We both know you’re smarter than that.”

“Leave it out, Pandora. Let me have some fun.”

Pandora sits up, her gaze suddenly serious. “Is it just fun? Because the last thing I want to see is you hurt.”

Evan lets his gaze drift back to Barty, finds him already looking at him. Barty’s demeanour changes the moment their eyes meet, a slow smile spreading across his face. He says something to the girl and without a backwards glance to her, starts making his way over to Evan. He crooks two fingers at him, beckoning him over.

“It’s just fun.” Evan is up in an instant, squeezing Pandora’s shoulder goodbye. “Thanks for looking out for me though.”

“You shouldn’t give in to him so easily, you know.” Pandora says, there’s a reprimand in there somewhere but Evan can’t bring himself to care. He’s more interested in watching the way Barty’s t-shirt rides up as he stretches, arms above his head. Swallows at the flash of pale skin, stark against a dark waistband.

“Can’t help it,” He says cheerfully. “I’m mad about him.”

Evan jogs over, meeting Barty halfway. He knocks their shoulders together in greeting. “Hey.”

Barty doesn’t pay him any mind, he’s looking back at Pandora, his brow furrowed. She’s not even looking at them, instead she’s settled back on the bench, making the most of the room Evan left behind.

Evan bumps his shoulder again, confused. This seems to snap Barty out of it because he blinks looking a little disorientated before he recovers, sending Evan a languid smile. “Our room should be free, you coming?”

“Obviously.” Evan replies. “Hey, who was that you was with?”

Barty doesn’t bother to hide his smirk. “You jealous, Rosier?”

“Yes. I’m the jealous type.” Evan looks at him sideways, sends him a lazy grin. “I’ll show you just how much in a minute.”

They laugh more than they talk as they amble through the stone walkway, Barty’s face aglow as he recounts a story he’d heard about one of the fifth years at breakfast. He keeps checking that Evan is looking at him, that he has his full attention. Evan feels a burst of warmth in his chest every time he catches him doing it.

Who cares what their lives will look like in a year when right now is so beautiful? He doesn’t want to let a single moment pass him by, Evan wants to take it all in.

Things will change, probably for the worst but right now, Evan is as content as he can be with a war looming over his head. He has his sister, his friends, he has Barty. He is so lucky, so incredibly fortunate to have what he has. Never will he take those things for granted when at any moment, they could be taken away from him.

When it comes to mankind and their history, Evan knows that there’s almost nothing as ever-present as war and conflict. There was war before him and he’s certain that there will be war after him. What they don’t tell you, however, is that through it all, there is still humanity, friendship and love.

Despite everything that’s happening, Evan tries his hardest to find those things, to hold onto them.

As they reach their door, laughing and eager, Evan takes solace in the fact that this moment right now is untouched by the chaos of the world around them. Soon they’ll have to put their plan into motion but this moment is just for them and Evan wants to savour it. He barely waits for their door to click shut before he has Barty up against it.

They’re pressed together, not a hair’s breadth of space between them and Evan uses this to his advantage. They’re so close that Evan barely has to lean in to press a kiss to the nape of Barty’s neck, the spot behind his ear that drives him crazy. This earns him a slow exhalation and he smiles against his neck at the sound, purposefully catches Barty’s earlobe between his teeth just so he can hear the sharp intake of breath he knows that Barty will make.

Evan pulls back, lets his gaze rove over Barty’s face. He takes in those bright eyes, the small smattering of freckles across his nose, only visible when you’re pressed against him like this and that mouth, wet and parted and waiting.

Their lips meet, a chaste press at first and then Barty is deepening the kiss almost immediately. Evan loses himself to the feeling of it.

A brush of tongue, a scrape of teeth, a sharp exhale and Evan is home.

When Evan finally pulls away, it’s so he can yank at Barty’s jeans. He pulls the button loose, deft fingers finding the zipper and tugging, all while he watches the way Barty’s head rolls back against the door with a dull thunk.

Evan looks up at him through his lashes, slowly dropping to one knee, then both of them. Barty doesn’t even bother to muffle the groan that escapes his lips at the sight of Evan kneeling before him. He drags a hand through Evan’s hair and pulls. There’s a sense of urgency there, in that action, an inkling of desperation, of need.

Barty wants him.

Barty needs him.

Evan smiles up at him, an edge of triumph to it.

This is where I want you, under my hands, with my mouth all over you. You’re mine.

—

It’s getting late, the evening drawing in. Barty sits in the common room and watches the setting sun slowly slip away, leaving the visible depths of the lake a dusky emerald green.

Classes start tomorrow and Barty couldn’t care less. Hogwarts has never felt as unimportant to him as it does in this moment. He used to love this school, the sanctuary it provided him from his nightmarish home life but now everything feels pointless. How can he focus on being a student when what he really needs to be is a solider?

Barty tips his head back, letting it rest on the sofa, his eyes drifting shut. Maybe he needs a distraction, something to preoccupy him.

He wants a cigarette. Wants to lose himself in the smell of the smoke and the repetitive inhale and exhale of each drag.

He wants to find Regulus and argue with him over a stupid topic that Barty doesn’t really care about and one that Regulus cares about too much. Wants to push every single one of his buttons and take comfort in the certainty that nothing Barty could do would ever push him away or make him leave.

He wants Evan. Wants to taste his mouth and touch every inch of him, until all thoughts of the war are pushed out of his mind.

He wants and wants and wants and it nearly tears him in two. Maybe because he’s used to not getting the things that he wants. Maybe because he’s used to having nothing and being nothing.

Barty doesn’t have a home, doesn’t have a future, doesn’t really have a family, except the one that he’s made for himself. Evan and Regulus, Pandora and Dorcas, he’s their family and they’re his. There’s nothing Barty wouldn’t do for them.

That’s why he needs to put all his time and energy into the war, into their plan. It has to succeed. They have to survive and come out stronger and Barty will do everything in his power to ensure that, that happens.

They make a good team, the three of them. Regulus is a force to be reckoned with and Barty trusts him with his life, he knows Evan does too. But it’s always been Barty and Evan, Evan and Barty, two halves of one whole.

He’d go to war for Regulus but he’d kill for Evan.

He loves Regulus with everything he has but Evan is his, in a way nothing ever has been before. It used to eat away at him, that Regulus was always drifting out of their orbit, just out of reach. That maybe, unintentionally, the force of what they had together, was pushing him away.

It turned out, however, that Regulus wasn’t drifting because of them. Instead, gravity had been pulling him towards James.

It had been easy to trust James with Regulus, easy to accept that whilst Regulus was still theirs, he was also James’ now too.

Barty doesn’t think he could ever trust anyone with Evan. He’s selfish when it comes to him. Greedy. Barty can never get enough of him.

And if this is all Evan wants to give him, he’ll take it. After all, Barty has nothing to offer him, no title, no inheritance, no ancestral home, only himself. Who would want that?

So he tries to keep himself busy with other people but Evan is always on his mind.

He’s pissed off when he kisses a boy from Ravenclaw and the way he sighs his name is all wrong. Grows frustrated when he doesn’t kiss the spot behind his ear or leave marks high on his neck the way that Evan does.

He hooks up with a girl from Slytherin and the minute they’re done, he wants to go and find Evan. Wants to share a cigarette with him and pin him down and kiss him until Evan is moaning his name.

Barty thinks of Evan earlier, on his knees in their room and the noises he’d made and his train of thought is derailed. Fuck.

There’s the feeling of the sofa dipping, a warm body pressing against him. He recognises Dorcas’ perfume, the tickle of her braids as she tucks her head under his chin and wraps an arm around his middle.

“Hey you.” He says, engulfing her in a hug and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Where have you been?”

“In Gryffindor tower with my better half. I was trying to drop Potter in it by bringing up Regulus every chance I could get. How none of his friends have guessed they’re hooking up I’ll never know. He spent half the evening bright red, at one point he was the same colour as the upholstery”

Barty smiles, it’s hard not to when you’re around Dorcas. “That’s my girl.”

She tilts her head to look up at him, her gaze fixing on a specific spot on his jaw, visible from where she’s laying on him. She laughs.

“Oh Crouch, you are shameless.” Dorcas says, tapping two fingers against the bruise forming on the underside of his jaw. “Who gave you that?”

Barty tries, and fails, to not sound smug. “Evan.”

“Of course he did.”

Barty groans, tightening his grip on her and burying his face in her dark braids. “Are you going to lecture me like Pandora did?”

“No. Evan can make his own decisions, he doesn’t need me defending his virtue or his honour.” She snorts. “What’s left of it after you’ve had your way with him anyway.”

“What about my virtue? My honour?”

Dorcas raises an eyebrow. “Did you ever have any to begin with?”

Barty laughs. “You’re lucky you’re my favourite friend at the moment.” He pulls them down so they’re lying on the sofa, Dorcas on his chest.

“At the moment. Charming. Glad to know my position is so secure.” Despite the sarcasm in her voice, she follows him down willingly, nestling in.

Barty watches as Dorcas begins to idly play with the silver rings stacked on her fingers and feels a warmth build in his chest. She’s comforting him, in her own way. She’d seen him alone, sensed his misery and gave him the physical comfort and the steady presence that he’d needed, no judgement and no questions asked. She’s a good friend and an even better person, the best of them really. Barty loves her and can’t bear the thought of something happening to her when everything inevitably goes to shit.

If there’s anyone capable of looking after themselves, it’s Dorcas. She’s powerful, with a strong moral compass. She’s not a follower, in fact she’s the sort of person that people follow. But Barty wants to protect her, protect Marlene and what they have together, do whatever he can to keep them out of arm’s reach of this war.

Barty knows that he shouldn’t say anything, knows that Regulus wants to tell Dorcas and Pandora in his own time but he feels like he has to warn her, of what’s to come. “Things are going to get really difficult soon.”

“Things have been difficult for a very long time, Barty.” Dorcas says noncommittally.

“I know. But there’s going to come a time where you’re going to have to make a choice. I know you care about us, I’d never doubt that, Dorcas. But if it’s between us and Marlene, I’m asking you to pick Marlene.”

She pulls away from him, her expression guarded. “Why do I have to pick one? Why can’t I have both?”

Barty shifts too, so they’re both sat up, facing one another. There’s distance between them now, palpable and heavy in the air between them. “It’s not that simple. At the end of the day, Dorcas, it’s your decision.” He grabs her hand, holds it tightly. She lets him. “But I want you to be happy and I know you will be, with Marlene.”

Safe too. He doesn’t mention that part through. He’ll leave that revelation to Regulus.

Dorcas searches his face, there’s worry in her eyes. “Please don’t do something stupid.”

Barty smiles. “Too late.”

—

The Great Hall is quiet at this time of the morning, which is why Regulus likes getting here early. It’s peaceful, gives him a minute to think before the chaos of the day hits him. Well it usually is, today seems to be an exception.

“What are the three of you up to?” Dorcas says as she sits beside him. Her voice is sharp, her elbow even sharper as it makes contact with his ribs. Regulus tries to hide his wince, he pauses pouring his coffee and tries to imperceptibly shift away from her. She scoots along the bench with him.

Regulus sighs, bringing his half empty mug to his lips. “Good morning, Dorcas.”

“Don’t you good morning me.” Dorcas snatches his mug away from him, pushing it down the table, out of reach. “What is going on with Barty? I know you’re involved somehow.”

Regulus scrunches his brow, confused. All of them have been a bit all over the place since they’ve been back. They’re bound to be with the whispers that follow them everywhere they go but he’s been distracted, too busy with James to pick up on a difference in Barty. He vows to check in with him, ashamed that he hasn’t done so already.

A new mug appears at his elbow, he fills this one to the brim, he has a feeling he’ll need it. “What do you mean?”

“He was off last night. Not himself.” She sends him a pointed look. “I found him sat in the common room and he started going on at me about how soon I’ll have to make a choice and how he thinks I should pick Marlene. When I told him not to do anything stupid, he told me it was too late. Disappeared to go and smoke with Evan after that, the whole thing was weird.”

Regulus carefully schools his face, refusing to give anything away. He internally curses Barty and his loose tongue. “We’re in the middle of a war, Dorcas. Maybe he’s worried about you. Wants to make sure you don’t forget what’s really important.”

“No, don’t be vague. You know something. Why haven’t you told me? Or Pandora?”

Regulus feels the dark mark like a brand on his arm. “It’s…difficult.”

Dorcas huffs out a laugh but it’s cold and humourless. “Funnily enough, Barty said the same thing.” She’s quiet for a moment, staring down at the table. When she speaks there’s concern in her tone and something else too, fear. “I’ve heard what everyone’s been saying, Regulus. About the three of you. I know what you all went through over the summer, what your families put you through. Please don’t shut me out. I want to help.”

Regulus can’t speak for a moment, his throat tight with all the things he wants to say and all the things he can’t reveal just yet. He has every intention of telling Dorcas and Pandora but not right now. It’s selfish but he doesn’t want to lose them. Doesn’t want to lose the sense of normality that their friendship brings him. He knows that Barty is right, Dorcas needs to pick Marlene and Regulus is certain that she will but it won’t make her decision any easier to accept.

He’s saved by Pandora appearing in a flurry of robes and blonde hair, taking the empty spot at his right. “Good morning you two.” She picks up a piece of toast and begins to butter it, oblivious to the way Regulus and Dorcas are looking at one another.

Dorcas raises her eyebrows at Regulus ever so slightly, sending him one last lingering look, as if to say this conversation is far from over before peering round Pandora. “Where’s Barty and Evan?”

Pandora begins to butter her toast more aggressively. “Whispering away in a corner of the common room like no one else exists, as per usual. Merlin, I love them both so much but the pair of them are driving me mad at the minute.”

Dorcas’ answering smile is soft and a touch amused. She leans round Regulus to squeeze Pandora’s shoulder. “They’ll figure it out. Just go easy on them, yeah? I think this is something that they need to work out, just the two of them.”

Regulus privately agrees with Dorcas but he understands where Pandora’s coming from. She loves them, Evan her brother by blood and Barty her brother by choice. She’s worried and he gets it. The pair of them worry him too.

Dorcas and Pandora’s attention is pulled away by the arrival of their roommate Adelaide Greengrass, the three of them drifting off into their own conversation. Regulus tunes them out and sips his coffee. His gaze fixed on the little group clustered together in the middle of the Gryffindor table.

Regulus watches as James laughs at something that Lily Evans had said, his dark hair endearingly messy and his glasses crooked on his nose. He looks brighter this morning, surrounded by his friends.

Regulus watches as the conversation continues without James, the latter becoming lost in thought. Whatever he’s thinking about has his brow creasing, his smile fading. Regulus looks away quickly, like he’s to blame, like subconsciously his attention has troubled James. It wouldn’t surprise him, if the force of his gaze alone brought James more misery. It certainly did yesterday.

A dark head of hair beside James distracts Regulus, it’s longer than his, more wavy than curly. Regulus wonder if he grew his hair out if he’d look more like his twin or if it would only emphasise the differences between them even more.

Almost as if he can feel the weight of his brothers’ gaze, Sirius looks up. Although his face is blank, wiped clean of any emotion, Sirius’ eyes betray him. Regulus has to look away from what he finds there because those grey eyes, so similar to his, are full of loathing.

Regulus knows that soon, when the truth comes out, his brother will look at him with eyes full of something so much worse.

—

James once again, finds himself in Regulus’ room, sat beside him on the sofa. They’re waiting for Evan and Barty, have been for a little while now. It’s dark in here, the only source of light the burning fireplace and the candles that are scattered around the room. James can feel his eyes drifting shut, he rests against Regulus’ shoulder and yawns.

It’s been a tough day.

As James had expected, Sirius hadn’t believed him when he’d told him that his brother was fine. It had been difficult, trying to reassure him whilst simultaneously attempting to pull the wool over his eyes. Sirius had sensed that James wasn’t telling him the whole story almost immediately and had began to question him, trying to catch him in a lie.

They’d gone back and forth with one another, neither of them willing to give in. Eventually they reached a stalemate of blatantly ignoring each other. Things had been icy between them ever since, only becoming more hostile when James had donned the cloak earlier this evening.

“Where are you going?” Sirius had asked suspiciously, watching as James stuffed the map in his pocket. He’d only taken it at Regulus’ request, he didn’t want James to be tied to them just yet.

“To get some fresh air.”

Peter snorted. “If you’re going to lie, James, at least try and make it convincing.”

James had sent him a look of betrayal to which Peter had held up his hands and shrugged. “Just being honest.”

Remus, who was playing Wizard’s Chess with Pete on the floor, used this distraction to his advantage bringing the game to a swift end. It was rare that anyone beat Peter. Well, James thought, serves him right.

“You’re going to see him, aren’t you?” Although Sirius had phrased it as a question, the frustrated expression on his face said that he already knew the answer.

James pretended like he hadn’t heard him. “I’ll see you later.”

It was awful, seeing the betrayal flash across Sirius’ face. James hated it, hated it so much that he’d stood on the staircase for a moment, looking back at their door anxiously. It kills him that this divide between them is only going to get worse with time.

It’s strange then, to go from the hurt and upset of Gryffindor tower to the warmth and budding camaraderie of the Slytherin dungeons.

Evan is the first to arrive back and when he catches sight of James he beams. “Welcome to the dark side mate.” He says, kicking the door shut without a backwards glance, jumping into the armchair beside James and leaning towards him, arm outstretched.

James huffs out a laugh, clapping his hand against Evan’s proffered one. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Glad we’ll have you to keep Regulus in check.” Evan says as he shifts to lay diagonally across the chair, neck resting on one arm and legs dangling over the other. “I had a feeling you’d want to help us out.”

Although James knew that Regulus had told his friends about his decision, he was expecting a thousand questions from them, potentially some distrust and maybe even some unpleasantness. What he wasn’t expecting however, was the friendliness, to be treated like he was one of their own.

The corner of Regulus’ lip curls in amusement. “Evan thought you’d pull something like this. His intuition is pretty spot on.”

James turns to face Evan, hopes he’s not overstepping with what he’s about to say. “Weirdly enough, I can believe that. I swear you saw me under the cloak yesterday.”

Evan shifts so that his hands are behind his head and his legs are crossed, one over the other. He tilts his head in acknowledgement, like James has solved something that’s been bothering him. “It was strange. I couldn’t see you but I could feel that you were there.”

“Is that normal? I’ve never known it to happen before.” James says carefully, not wanting to disturb the newfound peace that they’re working to build here. He needn’t have worried because as soon as he starts speaking, Evan bursts out laughing.

“It’s far from normal. Probably a twin thing.” He snorts, shaking his head. “Pandora gets visions and I get the ability to sense if someone’s under an invisibility cloak. As if that’s ever going to come in handy, you’re the only person who owns one.”

James is just about to tell Evan the story his dad had told him about the Deathly Hallows and the concept of cheating death but he’s interrupted by the sound of raised voices in the corridor. Barty’s arrival is then heralded by him loudly telling someone to fuck off.

Barty storms in soon after, slamming the door shut behind him and locking it. He makes his way over to his bed, chucking his bag on the floor before he joins them, clapping James on the shoulder in greeting.

Upon finding nowhere to sit, Barty shoves Evan’s legs off the arm of his chair, making himself comfortable in the newly vacated space.

James watches as Evan scowls and rearranges himself, now sitting up and decidablely unhappy about it. Regulus, beside him, sighs. He rolls his eyes at James, exasperated, like this is a common occurrence.

“I was comfortable lying like that!”

“Yeah exactly, you was.” Barty resorts.

Evan pulls a face at him but moves over to give him more space. “What was going on out there?”

Barty points to Regulus. “Well, to kick things off your brother called me a number of expletives in front of half the Slytherin common room. He has a surprisingly colourful vocabulary when he gets going.”

Evan gapes at him. “You let him in?”

In response, Barty pretends to look around the room, as if Sirius is miraculously going to appear, before sending Evan a look like he’s stupid. “Obviously not! I didn’t know he was there. He must’ve been hanging around by the entrance, Snape was coming out as I was about to head in so the door was open. Everyone could hear the shit he was spewing.”

James winces. “Sorry, that might be my fault.”

“You told him you were coming here?”

“Um no?” James says sheepishly. “Well, I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t.”

“Let him jump to whatever conclusions he wants, we’ll make it work in our favour.” Barty says. “Anyway, once Snape heard Sirius mouthing off about how he knows James is in here, he followed me back and wouldn’t stop firing twenty fucking questions at me.”

This is already proving to be more difficult than James thought it would, Sirius showing up is a surprise but one he should’ve really seen coming. Taking the map would’ve confirmed to Sirius that James was somewhere he didn’t want to be found, Sirius hit the nail on the head by coming here.

Regulus seems to be following a similar train of thought to James. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs. “Sirius is going to be a bigger problem than I thought he would be. I shouldn’t have underestimated him.”

The four of them fall silent, exchanging uneasy glances. They all know what topic is going to come next.

Barty, naturally, is the one who brings it up. “Talking of your friends, James, we need to work out how you’re going to distance yourself from them.”

Evan nods, sending James an apologetic look as he does so. “It’s got to be believable, James. Everyone will expect this of Regulus but no one is going to think you’re capable of this.”

“Love makes people stupid.” Barty comments idly, he holds his hands up when the three of them send him affronted looks.

“Not apologising because it’s true.” He shrugs. “Look, we have an ace up our sleeve here. People are interested in your friendship,” He emphasises that last word, exchanging a smirk with Evan. “When we find the right moment to confirm it’s a bit more serious than that, the reaction that everyone expects Sirius to have about his best friend shacking up with his evil, horrible brother,” Regulus snorts at that. “Will explain the very public bust up you’re about to have with your friends, James. We don’t even have to confirm anything, we’ll let the gossip mill do that for us. Everyone is going to spend so much time jumping to their own conclusions that we won’t have to come up with our own.”

It’s insightful, what Barty has proposed, in a way that surprises James. It shouldn’t shock him really, especially with the company he keeps but it’s easy to forget with the reputation he’s built.

“You’re smarter than most people give you credit for.” James comments and when he looks at Barty, it’s in a new light.

Barty’s answering smile is smug. “Twelve outstanding OWLs, remember?”

“Okay, so we let people talk about Sirius’ outburst and don’t correct them when they start to suspect that there’s something going on between you two.” Evan points a finger first to Regulus and then to James. “You two need to be convincing, especially you, James. People need to believe that you’d follow Regulus all the way to the Dark Lord’s doorstep.”

“It’s a decent start,” Regulus agrees, he tentatively turns to James. “Is that okay with you?”

Not really. For the next year, his friends will question his character and his morals. For an indefinite amount of time, people are going to think the worst of James and he has to let them.

It’s quiet for a moment, everyone looking at James expectantly. “Yes.” He finally says.

Evan rubs his neck, he doesn’t look happy with what he’s about to say. “That brings us to Pandora and Dorcas.”

“It’s going to be tough for Dorcas,” James admits. “Marlene complicates things.”

When Barty speaks, it’s mainly directed at Evan. “I think we should limit their involvement as much as we can.”

“Why?” James asks sharply, narrowing his eyes. “Because they’re girls?”

“No, you idiot. Dorcas is one of the toughest people I know and Pandora one of the smartest. I just know how hard it’s going to be for Evan if Pandora gets involved.”

James deflates a bit at that. It wouldn’t surprise him if Barty’s interjection was partly due to his own reluctance at their involvement. He forgets sometimes that they’re the only family Barty has.

“We’ll give them a choice,” Regulus says, shooting James an apologetic look because it’s a choice they couldn’t afford to give his own group of friends. “Tomorrow?”

“The sooner the better.” Evan agrees.

“Regulus has probably already told you but I’m going to speak to my parents, let them know what’s going on. I couldn’t bear the thought of them thinking they hadn’t raised me right.”

Neither Barty nor Evan seem surprised by that. “We can’t relate to that but I get it.” Barty says gesturing between the three Slytherin boys. “If mine cared about me, I’d want them to know too.”

James hesitates. He thought that this might help repair Barty’s relationship with his family, if they knew what he was doing, what he was trying to achieve. “You aren’t going to tell them?”

Barty wrinkles his nose in clear disdain. “My dad is a prick. Let him think I joined the Death Eaters just to spite him, that’s what everyone else will think.”

“And your mum?” James asks gently.

“My mum will always take my dad’s side. Whether he’s right or wrong.” Although his tone is resigned, Barty sounds torn up about that.

“It’ll be easier for Evan and I.” Regulus admits. His role was set in stone for him before he was born, as was Evan’s. “It’ll be expected of us. Pandora will have more leeway, like Narcissa did.” James knows that he says this to appease not only Evan, but himself too.

The four of them look at one another, taking a moment to process the enormity of the situation that awaits them. Today marks the start of what will be a huge undertaking, at least a year in the making, probably longer.

Evan seems to have had enough of the terse atmosphere because he elbows Barty, smiles up at him. “Time to start playing our parts. You ready to stir things up a bit?”

“Definitely, we’re born troublemakers.”

“Mischief-makers sounds better.”

“I quite like the sound of rabble-rousers actually.” Barty’s lip twitches. He’s trying to stifle a smile but it’s written all over his face, in the quirk of his brow, in the way his eyes shine.

It works, the atmosphere in the room considerably lighter, so much so that Regulus’ laughs, a joyful, bright sound. James could listen to it all day. “All right, we get it!”

“I can’t wait.” Barty says, he’s smiling openly now. “I have a long list of people I’ve been wanting to curse.”

James spins in his seat to send Barty a disapproving look which he purposefully misinterprets.

“You’re right, James, I can do so much worse to them than that.”

James turns to Regulus for help but he’s on his feet, moving over to his trunk to dig through it. The three of them have a quidditch meeting about this year’s team and what positions will be open for try-outs soon and so they begin to disperse across the room. James is dreading having to go back to his dorm so he stays where he is.

“You want to stay here for a bit? Wait till Sirius calms down?” Evan asks as he starts to gather his gear. Barty next to him has climbed up on his bed, James can’t see him behind the half-drawn curtain but he can see the random crap he’s sweeping off in his pursuit to find something.

“Yeah probably for the best at the moment, you don’t mind do you?”

“Nah, of course we don’t.” Barty says, pausing in his search to stick his head round the curtains to look at James.

Regulus rolls his eyes but looks pleased.

It doesn’t take the three of them long to get themselves together. Regulus unsurprisingly is the first one by the door, sending James a soft look as he heads out. He’s closely followed by Barty who is telling him a story, gesturing wildly with his hands. Regulus watches him, eyes bright and amused as he disappears from sight.

“I think it’s brave, James.” Evan says quietly. He’s standing by the door, his hand reaching out to catch the door before it shuts. For a minute he just stands there, then seems to change his mind and lets go, the door shutting with a definitive click.

“I’m sorry. About Sirius. About Remus. About Peter.”

James presses his lips together, thinking of those that Evan mentioned and those he didn’t. Lily. Marlene. Mary. He dreads what they’ll think of him. Even if it isn’t real.

“When the time comes, they’ll understand why I did it.”

Evan smiles and it’s sad. “You’re right, they will. Doesn’t make it any easier now though does it?”

No, James thinks as he watches Evan go. It doesn’t.