Regulus woke up in tears. He sat up, terrified out of his mind. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. He felt the tears pouring down his face and silently sobbed into his hands. James felt the slight jostling of the bed and woke up. He grabbed his glasses and sat up next to Reg, who had his knees to his chest in fear. He began rocking slightly. James knew what had happened. Reg had a nightmare. He had just started to get them once he escaped his parents grasp. Or perhaps, they had been a normal thing before this? All James knew was that they were about his parents. He rubbed Reg's back in steady, soothing motions. They sat there, the silence filled with the hushed tones of Reg's sobs and Remus' snores from the other room. Reg leaned his head into James' chest. James hated to see Regulus like this and whispered to him in most calm tone that he could muster.
"You're alright. I'm here. I will never let them hurt you again, Reggie,"
Lily, who was sleeping on the floor with her boyfriend Andy, stirred and sat up. She opened her mouth as if to say something but, was only stopped by James placing his finger over his lips. She obeyed him and laid back down still watching Reg with a concerned look on her face. James looked back down at his boyfriend, who's sobs slowed ever so slightly. James heaved a small sad sigh and as calmly as possible spoke.
"Reggie?" He asked. Regulus hesitantly looked up, his blue eyes puffy and unnatural.
"Let's go talk outside so we don't wake Lils and Andy, ok?" He asked again. Reg looked down at the bed.
"Oh, we can leave, it's fine Regulus," Andy said, slightly shaking Lily.
"No, I'm sorry for waking you all up. Its my fault. I'll go," Regulus sniffed. He then got up and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. James started after him as Lily stopped him.
"What's wrong with him James?" She asked, worried.
"Nightmare," He said simply, walking out of the room.
He found Reg on the floor in the hallway, his head between his legs. James sat down next to him. He put his hand on Reg's back again. He flinched and looked up cautiously. This wasn't normal. There was something definitely wrong.
"What happened? I won't judge you for anything, I just want to help," James said. He looked at James with a serious look but, tainted with fear.
"Do you love me like this?" He asked.
"Like what?" James replied. Reg hesitated for a moment.
"As a boy?" Reg finally answered. James knew what this was about.
"Of course I do. I will always love you no matter what, boy or girl" James returned, a small smile on his face.
"Are you sure?" Reg asked.
"I have never been more sure of anything in my whole life,"
"Ok... It's just... People say I am a failure and a disgrace by being trans and I should be normal again and I should stop being a fag and I am unlovable and..." Reg stuttered, tears running down his face. James stopped him. He hated when Reg's anxiety took control of him. He doubted himself and hated himself for being him. Reg cried even more though, his wet, red eyes still looked towards James.
"You are not unlovable, Reg. That would be just plain silly. Did they tell you that?" James asked. Reg shook his head, yes. He despised Regulus's parents for planting that into his head. James eyebrows furrowed.
" Well, they don't know shit," he responded. Reg's tears slowed up. He sniffed.
"How do you know they are wrong? What if they are right?" He asked. James smiled brightly.
"Because I love you. And Sirius loves you more then the meaning of the word. Remus, Pandora, Barty," James wretched at the name. Reg giggled.
"Dorcas, Evan, Lily Andy, my Mum and Dad, we all love you. We all see through the cold, stubborn, rude front you put up and see the love, compassion, and kindness that you really are. Those bastards didn't and don't deserve this beautiful human being sitting next to me," James said running his hand through
Regulus's hair. He wiped his eyes with a smile.
"But most of all, it doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. Gender and pronouns don't matter. Just be you. Be Regulus. And if people don't like it, they can suck it," James laughed. Reg let out a little quiet laugh too. He took a deep breath of air in. Regulus leaned his head against James again and James hugged him. They embraced for a while until Reg stood up and gestured towards the door.
Once they got settled in bed, James ran his fingers through his boyfriends thick, black curls. All of the sudden Regulus whispered to James.
"Will you sing to me?"
James hesitated for a moment. He let out a sigh.
"I guess," he moaned. Reg smiled and rearranged himself to lay in between James' legs. James, still playing with his hair started to sing.
"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘕𝘰, 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘛𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶..." he sang quietly but, just loud enough for Lily and Andy to hear. James had never sung in front of any body except for Reg. There is a first time for everything, I guess. Andy rolled over and wrapped his arm around Lily and she smiled just listening to James' angelic voice. Some people could argue his voice was better then Sirius'. But, we better not stir that pot.
"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴, 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘢𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘸..."
Regulus' heart melted as James hit every syllable. He loved this song and James of course knew this. Though, Regulus was more musically inclined then James, James still knew how to sing beautiful melodies. Listening to his boyfriend and relaxing with him helped him let go of all the anxiety. Of course, not all of it. That would be impossible. But, most of it. Anxiety is a cruel part of life that nobody likes. Or perhaps, it's just a crucial part. It is a very funny thing stress. It will never stay but, it will never leave you either. It just lingers. Though, there are ways to cope with it, you can never do it alone. In a way it brings you together, stress. Helps you face your fears, big or small. Maybe anxiety is a good thing to experience after all. Reg thought about this as he settled into his boyfriends lap. He let a big breathe of air out. James then concluded the song.
"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘕𝘰, 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘛𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶..." James sang. Reg sighed, pleased and looked up, his blue eyes shimmering in the darkness. There eyes locked. He smiled.
"Je t'aime" Reg muttered.
"I love you too," James returned.