first day back
He woke the next morning to complete silence which was unusual for the marauders dorm but to be fair it was 5 in the morning and breakfast wasn't for another 2 hours usually none of them got up until the very last minute.
Sirius had got into the habit of waking up way before the rest of the marauders before the summer but now he doesn't really have to do that since James said they forgive him. But he still can't shake the feeling that any second they are just going to think he is just like his family and they should just forget about him and leave him again.
He gets up and kneels in front of his trunk on his knees his ribs protesting to bending over to look in the trunk but he enjoyed the pain so it wasn't that sore. He picked up his uniform and limped into the bathroom usually he would hide the limp but no one was awake to see or question why he had it so he limped his way to the bathroom.
When he got in he undressed from his long sleeved Top and grey joggers and he looked at himself in the floor length mirror. He was covered in cuts and bruises from his neck to his feet, his ribs poking out from the very thin layer of skin covering them, most of his bones stuck out from odd angles and they was only his front.
He could feel blood dripping down his back he got the stash of bandages he hid in the bathroom back in first year. He was always surprised when he got them out that no one had found them yet but he so thankful for it because it would lead to too many questions to why he had them.
He wrapped his wounds with the bandages then pulled on his trousers and shirt (which he was so happy had long sleeves) and done his tie up, he pulled his robes on and then looked in the mirror above the sink seeing his sunken face and a cut along his eyebrow to the bottom of his nose the one and only cut his mother has ever gave him on his face she always made sure to avoid his face so there wouldn't be any questions but over the summer on one of his daily punishments she had got a bit carried away and then the scar was there.
He shook off the feeling of dread about the summer and exited the bathroom to his surprise the boys were up and getting dressed he walked over to his bed covering up his limp.
He pulled out his converse from under his bed and put them on. He lay on his bed listening to the other's conversation they were talking about the summer and classes and shit like that.
When Peter finally gave up and asked James for help with his tie they all headed down for breakfast Sirius lagging a few steps behind the others. The slytherins joined them on their walk to the great hall a little while after Regulus walked beside Sirius making sure to stay close. Sirius didn't talk the whole way there while everyone else talked about they're summer Sirius didn't really feel like talking about his he never did.
When they arrived in the great hall they parted ways with the slytherins and heading to the Gryffindor table. Once they sat down everyone started to pile food onto their plates while Sirius just sat there feeling nauseous at the mere sight of this much food he thought he might actually be sick so he just grabbed an apple and stared down at his empty plate.He felt someone tap his shoulder and he flinched on instinct. Looking up he realised it was Marlene who had tapped him on the shoulder she was staring at him like someone had just died or something "Sirius... are you ok?" She asked still looking stricken "umm yeah I'm all good " he said trying to sound confident.
They went through the rest of breakfast with Marlene watching him the whole time it was nice that she cared but he really didn't want to be watched and it didn't help that he really didn't want to eat.
They're first class was transfiguration with Minnie which he usually loved but today he just couldn't be bothered today.
The day went by quick and easy it wasn't until 6th period that something went wrong.
The marauders weren't late to class for once in their lifetime. It was potions with the slytherins which Sirius was absolutely dreading because Snape would be there and he didn't know how he could be in the same room with him without remembering the mistake and his hands all over him. It was disgusting and unnerving he could also see the other marauders being shifty and nervous as well and he couldn't shake the guilt that that was all his fault.
When they got to class they just sat in their usual seats except Remus and James sat next to each other Peter sat with Mary and Marlene and Dorcas sat next to each other so Sirius was next to lily which was okay but she used to be friends with snape and was the only one of the girls who knew of Remus furry problem so she was still quite pissed at him.
When Snape entered the class Sirius felt as though he couldn't breathe like his airway had closed off but the panic grew as snape approached his and lily's desk he tried to hide his nervousness as best as he could but it was getting harder as he got closer eventually he got to Sirius and lily's desk and stopped he leaned over and placed his hand on Sirius thigh and whispered "oh you didn't think I wouldn't haunt you did you now I will be there every single time you get the tiniest taste of happiness and remind you why you shared your wee furry friend's problem okay" into Sirius ear. As he walked away he noticed a piece of parchment on his thigh he picked it up and shoved it in his pocket just as he looked up he noticed all his friends staring at him with confusion and concern in their eyes but just as James opened his mouth to ask something the teacher walked in and they were set to work.