Escapism
i am the sunshine boy, he’s the star boy and she’s the flower girl. and i don’t know who i love the most. in my ranking the sunshine boy would always be at the bottom.
my name is James. i am a poet. i practise french for Regulus and i play guitar for Lily. I write poems for both of them.
i wake up at 5 AM and blindly reach for my glasses. i put them on. they don’t suit me. i get dressed and grab my phone and bag before dashing out of the door. no one else is awake. it’s peaceful. i go to the quidditch field and sit on the grass. i get my notebook out of my bag and turn to a clean page. my pencil starts to sketch out words.
stars go unnoticed,
but we all know they are there,
but no one cares for them,
i do
flowers are beautiful,
people notice them,
their bright colours,
they need the sun,
the stars and the sun,
they are never seen together,
they can’t be together,
it isn’t right,
i rip the page out and crumple it in my hand. i stuff everything back into my bag. i grab my broom and fly up. escapism. in the air thoughts are replaced by actions. i close my eyes for a moment. sometimes i wonder what would happen if i crashed my broom. gave up or flew away. early in the morning, no one could stop me. i open my eyes. escapism.
by 9 am it’s time to go back to the real world. the world where i have to be happy. all the time. it’s exhausting. i join my friends for breakfast, glancing across the tables to catch Regulus’s eyes. Lily sits next to me. my sight fixes on her instead.
“morning evans” i say in my normal happy tone.
she ignores me. as always. talks to remus. as always. my eyes flick back to the black haired boy on the slytherin table. i look away. we can’t.
Later, in the evening, i meet Regulus in the astronomy tower. as always.
“i missed you reg”
“i missed you too sunshine boy”
i smile.
i’m home.